" i never thought i'd find you , but you're here , and so i love you . "
𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 // accepting.
THE IMPOSSIBLE SOUND OF EVERY VOICE CONVERGING INTO ONE, a backdrop that hung loosely she did not pay mind towards even when the obnoxiously expensive cocktail was placed in front of her. Why call? Stuart didn’t understand, her finger had merely pressed each digit, only to find relief when he answered. A location that was semi-public, hidden past the old dreary buildings, down cobble step stones, rich in botanicals where the smell was herbal & perfuming every inch of the air.
The back of her mouth felt dry, even when her breathing inhaled deep, the brine was still there in her lungs & hacked away when she would cough continuously. Starfishes decorating her palms, the blistering sun that had scorched her skin, gone - the phantom that came as quickly as she went leaving a pit of guilt within her stomach for every goodbye never said. Thousand pound dress, a bottle of perfume that smelled of musk, too masculine, an ingredient to drench the sea salt out of her body, none of it felt like her but a ploy to speak without necessarily talking. He was always kind, sweet, even when they taunted each other or she’d steal the last bit they smoked laughing gleefully with mismatched teeth & stealing every kiss she could to selfishly drink them down.
“There you are” her sunny persona quickly placed as they sat together, far from where anyone could find them in the dimness only given visibility by a small flickering candle, trying, pleading, not to go out. “It’s been long - handsome as ever” the faux politeness of a conversation only strangers spoke, she could barely close her eyes without the sound of crashing waves echoing, clinging to the memories of the past where she would seek him out come the first warm day & the festival circuit began. Glitter sprawled on her cheeks, unabashed, unphased, Reading or Glastonbury where they could be famous & anonymous together. Her hand went to his, instantaneously without hiccup, the heavy rings were gone adorned by small golden bands with too many colorful gems - she picked them, already, too strange. A quick squeeze that became firmer, familiar faces that asked for little, that she hoped did not ask, where in the hell did she vanish for three long years? Hiatus she would lie, creativity block, happens to the best.
Creative endeavors, all the wonderful things that glisten in the bliss of fame & notoriety, an easy language to speak where she could hide for awhile joking, waving off anything too bitter to swallow, Stuart always used the same formula. From the moment she escaped Sussex, tossed into an antiquated shop selling organs & pianos to pensioners, where she was stuck in 1973 until her second death, all the sad things she held deep within her chest refusing to let out. It was until his words struck at the glass concealing the soft bits that were not washed away on the artificial shores or mangled from the car crash. Deer-like, her entire body shifted, folding her shoulders forward momentarily appearing small for a woman that was graceful & tall as a willow tree gently swaying to an eternal melody.
“S-sorry, I just had to see you, I just had to one more time, that’s all” the tip of her nose turned red as she swallowed the stinging tears, trembling where her fingers tapped against the glass, her grasp becoming impossible as if he had become an anchor. Sweetness in each raspberry spun kiss, cheap gloss to rival the exterior of the posh girl who shouldn’t feel fear, who always wore her persona of a sweetheart with grace, she pressed her lips everywhere she could. Against his jawline, forehead, cheeks, the tip of his nose to the softness of their lips pressed against one another. “Let’s go somewhere, anywhere, your choice - I just want to be with you” her heart tightly held in a vice grip, a long slender arm reaching to drape against him, even when the fear crawled upon her body the soft birdsong she hummed echoed from her lips.
“Love you, adore you, always been sweet to me after being away for long you were the first I thought to see again - I’m happy you came”