#xfactor33

This is preposterous!!! You're telling me, that despite how COMPLETELY DISORGANIZED every US post office is that I’ve ever been in, Mystique can just dig into the rubble of one, AFTER IT’S BEEN LEVELED, and magically produce the paperwork she's looking for. Bullshit!!! I once spent 12 hours over 3 days trying to get a god damn passport at one of these places!! They operate out of the dark ages!! Shit I’m getting distracted. Anyway, it seems like X-Factor signs the Mutant Registration Act papers pretty damn quickly. What about standing up for your beliefs on principle?? It seems like they sign these things just to get Mystique of their back. Magneto would not be happy about this!!! I guess these guys are on Team Tony Stark after all. Man I’ve got a lot of gripes in this post. Sorry everybody. (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

The first bunch of issues I need to read from the Inferno omnibus are from X-Factor, and technically they take before the Inferno crossover starts, wrapping up a few loose plotlines dealing with furry beast and Cameron Hodge and setting up the X-Terminators mini-series. These issues don’t have much to do with Inferno, other than they take place in New York City and everything in the city is starting to go crazy, with manhole covers and fire escapes and sweater vests attacking everybody, like what we saw with Magneto when he went to visit the Hellfire Club a few issues ago in New Mutants. (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

Alright!!! Hank is back!!! All smarmy and smart and using long words to annoy everybody and furry and running off into battle after being in a coma without even stopping to go to the bathroom. Or maybe that’s where he’s running to in such a hurry. Well it didn’t take very long for Hank to recover after getting smooched by Infectia!! He just kinda had to decide that being furry is ok? Or something? That’s ok Hank we all like you better furry anyway! It’s how we knew you during the cartoon show! (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

Inferno would make such a good setting for a summer movie. It could be a series of movies, where there’s like an X-Factor movie and an X-Men movie and a New Mutants movie, and each team is dealing with their own shit, but the city is starting to go bonkers in the background. I can just see the trailer for the movie in my mind's eye. It would have Trish Tilby giving a news report just like this, talking about all the inanimate objects coming to life. And at the end of the trailer a skyscraper would grin menacingly. If Fox had their shit together when they were first planning out the X-Men movie universe, we’d probably be finally getting to the Inferno movies right now! (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

Here’s a good summary of all the monkeying around Hank’s genetic code has been through in the past few years. You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t at least have prostate cancer after going through all of this. It seems like dudes get prostate cancer after eating a nice steak, let alone having 12 different people piss directly into your genetic code. (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

Damn it. I didn’t really believe that Cameron Hodge died when that mutant squid crashed his airplane into the sea, but I was hoping. This guy is such a dick!! Does Warren chop his head off in this battle? I seem to recall from X-Tinction Agenda that Cameron Hodge was just a head. Does Warren chop it off?? Also, what kind of fucked up stilts are Cameron Hodge's thugs wearing in this panel!! Are those special cybernetics his soldiers have to wear to help him get into his armor or is this just some janky Walt Simonson artwork?? (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

More Inferno hijinks. I’m telling ya, this would make for a pretty cool apocalypse. In our nerd fantasies, we’re always so focused on zombie apocalypse, and our zombie apocalypse plans, and if the human race had to end, zombie apocalypse would be a pretty cool way to go out. Roaming the countryside with our trusty barb-wire wrapped baseball bats, looting convenience stores to stay alive on Hostess Twinkies. But dang, an Inferno apocalypse would be pretty cool too. Like, everything on the planet comes to life and tries to kill you? Pretty awesome. Especially if you have mutant powers to fight back with. It would really keep you on your toes! (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)

More proof that at one point in time, the Transformers comic was cannon in the Marvel Universe. Until the licensing deal ran out that is. Cause that makes sense. A bunch of gigantic ass robots having a war on our planet. Subtlety. A subtle war involving giant robots, because not everyone is sure that they actually exist. Right. Anyway, so we’ve already seen the… Orphan Maker massacre a few families (Jesus that’s dark and violent), but to what end this is driving to I’m not sure. I hope it’s a plot point that carries some weight, because otherwise we’re watching these families get massacred for no reason. (X-Factor #33 – Oct 1988)