#xeraeus

Amazing how Rika only defense is she was abused as a child she gets to drug and fuck up everyone's life through it. No mm characters had a great childhood they all experienced some type of abused. Did they start a c u l t tho?? 

It’s almost like Rika’s characterisation and story arc are flawed and the devs couldn’t decide if they wanted her to be villain, victim or both and flipflopped between them all at the cost of narrative cohesion and enabling woobification the world over.

Like damn if you want her to be cruel and past the point of redemption, let her. If you want her to be misunderstood and a victim of her own circumstances, let her. Don’t, however, try to fuse them if you’re not going to address them. It literally doesn’t matter how sad Rika was as a kid; that alone is not a redemption arc for brainwashing and torturing vulnerable people as an adult. 

If you’re going to show her enthusiastically shoving elixir down someone’s throat and other wacky shit, the fact that she was bullied isn’t going to magically cancel it out...ESPECIALLY if you’re also exploring the tragic pasts of other characters who didn’t turn to evil shenanigans after living through similar (and-in some cases- worse) circumstances. Redemption arcs don’t work if instead of addressing that the aggressor is an aggressor and needs to make amends, you backtrack everything and make them a victim.

As a writer, the handling of Rika makes me so ANGRY because she could have been so much more interesting and a genuinely incredibly villain. Like...imagine if V had approached Rika at the beginning and planned Mint Eye with her, pulling her from therapy because there was so much beauty in her pain and nothing wrong with her, only to chicken out after he realised he’d made a huge mistake. What about if V genuinely believed her to be dead and all the cutesy Rika stuff is genuinely 100% real to the RFA as MC comes to know them, making her reveal that much more dramatic.

I just

contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like?

pt.2 Haneul currently bakes and does body guarding work as a job. He lives in a small apartment with his older sister Taeyeong and his chocolate pit-bull mocha. He is lost but enjoys the simple things in his life like his friends and sister. He struggles with himself constantly since he feel that his choices are the reason why he suffers. And he hopes one day he can learn to be ok with himself and love himself for who he is. not t oday tho l o l

I love Haneul so much and I’ve wanted to write something about him for the l o n g e s t  time. I’ve read and reread Jun’s letter from him so many times now and  really recommend checking him out on their blog . 

Echo

Each nightmare is the same: loud voices, broken glass. Sometimes Haneul can even discern the words and their owners. He recognises most of them; the same ones he often thinks he sees in the corner of his eye, or hears in the back of his mind. He didn’t have a word for them at first; ghosts seemed too melodramatic, memories too tangible. He settled on echoes before realizing he had.

They are echoes, after all, Echoes of a different life and a different place. An echo of the person he used to be. Voices and memories doomed to rattle inside of him for eternity.

He spends more time than he would like considering what it means to be empty. He is content in his own way, but the echoes leave him wondering otherwise: a grim reminder of a life he never had and the dreams he might have under different circumstances.

Haneul is afraid of the dark; afraid of his own mind; afraid of himself. He wonders who he might have been; wonders who he could be. Sometimes he wakes in a cold sweat and forgets his nightmares moments later. The echoes never leave him, though. They cling to him as tightly as a funeral shroud or the bed covers tangled around his body.

On this night in particular, he wakes gasping at 4am. He doesn’t remember the monsters that lurked in his dreams, but is not coherent enough to dismiss them either and kicks out his arms and legs. By the time he registers his surroundings, from the carefully folded clothes on his dresser to the rain outside, the clock reads 4:07 and the panic is over. He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, a heady mixture of relief and adrenaline rushing through him.

It’s over, he repeats to himself, only in part because of the nightmare.

Mocha left the bed the moment he started to shake. Haneul does not know exactly when she picked up the habit, or exactly how much she understands his present situation, but he does know that she waits for him to calm down before jumping back onto the bed. The weight of her across his chest is far more soothing than it should be; his room completely silent save for their combined breathing and the rain against his window.

Weakly, Haneul lifts his hands from his face and smooths them across her back, a move than earns him a lick to the fingers. She nudges his hand the moment he sets it down and whines until he scratches behind her ears.

It’s over, he considers as she paws at the inside of his wrists, across the edge of his tattoo. 

The monsters in his dreams cannot touch him now. They cannot weather the storm outside, are not welcome inside of his house. They cannot read the notes his sister leaves for him, nor do they know the names of his friends. All that remains of them is an echo and in that he is strangely comforted. 

Apple: What is your favorite genre(s) of music?

Indie, K-pop, K-indie, Indie rock.

Orange: Do you prefer hot or cold weather?

Cold weather, I’m just physically not strong enough for hot weather.

Banana: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I don’t fancy desserts but I like lemon or coffee flavoured ice cream :3