#xaden

The room is dark save for the lone mage light illuminating Xaden's desk. He sits hunched over it, pen in hand, writing away. I stand in the open doorway, staring at him. Gods he looks so tired. It's riddled within his very bones. The way he can barely keep his eyes open, his hair tangled, and unruly, his skin seemingly leached of it's usual colour, they're all signs that he's drowning in everything. My heart aches for him, and I just wish I knew how to help him.

I knock lightly on the door. Without moving he replies, "Hey, love. What are you still doing up?"

"Waiting for you to come to bed,"

He sighs deeply, closing his eyes as if in prayer. "You know I can't do that, love." Xaden doesn't sound annoyed, he sounds regretful. "I'm sorry. I wish things were different, but I have so much to do, and it unfortunately can't wait"

I don't blame him, but a small part of me still wilts. I walk over to where he's sitting, hugging him from behind. He's so tall I barely have to lean down to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I land a lingering kiss on his cheek before straightening up.

"I wish I could be more useful, like actually contribute in some way that would take a load off your shoulders"

His left hand comes up to hold mine that was draped over his collarbone. "Love, you just being here helps me. I cannot tell you how much you mean to me." he turns to look at me like I hung the stars.

I hum, not truly satisfied with the answer, "You know, maybe I can't help the Duke of Tyrrendor—"

His face scrunches up adorably when I use his title.

"—but perhaps I can help my boyfriend"

"I don't follow"

"Let me take care of you." I nod at the quite obvious bulge he's been subtly trying to hide under the desk.

Xaden sighs, hanging his head. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice"

"Kind of hard not to. Pun intended"

He scoffs, but the small smile he smothers betrays his amusement. "I'm sorry, my love, I just can't help it when you look like this"

"Nothing to apologise for. Most woman would kill for a guy who gets stiff when she's put in no effort"

He takes my hand, kissing the back of it like some cheesy romance novel with a princess and her knight in shining armour. "If anyone thought you didn't look amazing like this, they'd have to be criminally insane—" He starts pressing kisses to my jaw in between words. "—because you are absolutely breathtaking."

"So if Garrick happened to see me in these pajamas, and got a hard on, you wouldn't kill him?"

"He'd be dead before he hit the floor." the words are sharp, and serious, which makes it that much more amusing.

"Is it wrong that I love the overly protective slash jealous side of you?"

"I don't think so, but I'm also heavily biased"

"Hmm. Come on, get up." I grab both of his hands and lean back. He comes willingly albeit confused.

"Why?"

I smile with saccharine sweetness, but don't give a verbal answer. Instead, I tug him closer by his belt, and begin to unbuckle it.

"Oh, love," he starts, placing his hands on mine to stop me, "I want nothing more than to take you on the bed, and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this, but I don't have time"

"You trust me, right?" I ask, ignoring him completely.

"Beyond a shadow of a doubt"

"Good, now hush." I push him back into his chair now that his pants have been removed.

He rolls his eyes at my antics, but complies nonetheless. "I'm serious, we can't have sex right—" his words peter out when I take off my shirt, shortly followed by a loose pair of boxers I stole from Xaden.

"What were you saying?"

His gaze appraises me, jumping around as if he can't decide what to focus on. "I suddenly can't remember"

I sit down on his lap, smirking at how his pupils dilate even further to the point you can barely see any gold flecks in his irises.

"Is that so?" His hands immediately go to my hips, pulling me onto him.

I line up my entrance with the head of his cock, promptly sinking down. It's almost embarrassing how easily he slides in. He groans softly into my neck, shallowly thrusting up into me.

"Darling, as much as I'm enjoying this, I didn't come here to distract you"

"You didn't?"

I can't tell if he sounds offended, or disappointed. "No, I didn't. You've got a lot of work to do, which as you said, can't wait. I'm just here to keep you company." I wrap my arms around him once again, resting my head on his chest.

"Fuck my life," he groans, staring at the ceiling.

"If you finish it quickly they'll be time for us to do more than this." I clench around him, causing his eyes to flutter shut, and he swallows hard.

"Besides, there's a set in the cupboard that I've been dying to show you; it covers absolutely nothing."

His jaw clenches, and his grip on me tightens.

"Mainly because it's just a necklace with your initials on it."

His head leans back while he mentally curses every god and goddess to have ever existed for putting him in this situation.

"Is this information supposed to help me concentrate on the paperwork?."

Inside, I'm practically on the floor, dying of laughter, but I maintain a cool indifference. "Work. Do it. Now Riorson"

He sighs deeply, "You are going to be the death of me"

"You are going to be the death of me if you don't hurry up." I roll my hips on him, and he tugs me impossibly closer, brows furrowed as he tries to breathe through it. "I bought new cuffs too"

That breaks him instantly, all pretenses of accomplishing work demolished with five words. He scoops me up with him, changing the position entirely too quickly, making us both gasp at the sudden loss, though he snaps out of if, taking me to the bed and pushing back in all the way.

"Fuck it. Count Tecarus can bite me"

"If Count Tecarus bites you, he's going to be the one dead before he hits the floor"

"You're right, the protective thing is really hot"

Comment if you want to be added to the Kinktober Taglist!

Taglist: @kaouter23 , @ravenstar47 , @a-courtof-azriel , @idk1027 , @iamvdb , @asaucecoveredsomething , @tele86 , @ayan-23 , @bookishbroadwaybish , @edance2000 , @slut4acotar , @bucketofsoup , @k8r123-blog , @0-n-1-x , @lynnieluvsu , @icanifiwant , @strangeiconblizzard , @asahinasstuff , @francesababyd0ll , @sallow-bby , @kienhawon , @poppingclouds , @trash-queen-33 , @celestialbookworm13 , @mommyofkittens , @salvaterreslut , @aeriwifee , @astrixbloodthorn , @embersofonyx , @fourthwingyaps

FW: @hannraumari , @lavaflow1012 , @sparklypersonabird

'It’s time to put your mates behind you.’ Rion’s words ring through your mind as you continue to the Senarium chambers. 

‘Something that’s been long overdue.’ You muse as your assured steps continue your march down the hall. 

With your last confrontation with Violet closed behind the locked door of your own emotions, you let the light dance in your eyes. Too long have you let yourself linger in the shadow of the two you loved and this time, you were here for yourself. 

The guards give you a quick look as you continue your walk, short swords strapped to your back, the obsidian metal glinting in the dim light. A gift from a prince of Navarre a comforting weight, something to ground you as the butterflies of anxiousness try to break free.

‘They will not deny your request.’ Rion sounds resolute. ‘They have merely been waiting for someone willing to dive into the fray and you have tarried too long in shadows and lightning.’

Your steps land with the efficiency of a soldier, yet also with the quiet edge of a blade as you step into the room. All heads turn towards you, conversation halting abruptly.

“Cadet L/N.” Melgren sounds from his seat at the center of the table. You can feel the stares from your right, but you ignore them. His tone of expectation belying the fact that he knows the entire reason you’re standing before the Senarium and War Council.

“General.” Inclining your head slightly, you then snap to attention, eyes landing on the green ones that have been your comfort in the last few weeks. Acknowledgement passes through Aaric’s eyes as he stares back at you. 

“I have been conducting research of my own.” Your voice rises as Rion’s pride begins to pour through your bond. “I believe both Poromiel and Navarre have been missing a key piece of intel and my findings show that it will be found in the Barrens.” 

Murmurs break out between those gathered and you don’t miss the slither of shadows that is vibrating under the table. 

“I propose that Rion and I take our particular skill sets, along with two riders that have experience in shielding and warding. I trust Navarre will also assign someone befitting the rank of the mission, unless Captain Sorrengail is deemed Senior enough to lead.”

There’s no way for Violet to hide her gasp when Mira steps up to your right. 

“Cadet Y/N and I have been discussing this for some length. Sources inside of Poromiel have corroborated on a few findings, but we will be knocking on the doorstep of the enemy.” Mira continues to explain as Elliott takes up his position on your left, each of you wearing a bracelet of onyx tucked in your sleeve. 

“And what do you plan to gain, if you are able to pull this off?” Melgren responds, not tense, not accusing, just calculating, as if his signet hasn’t allowed him the information he wants regarding your request. 

To his detriment, he doesn’t know what Aaric has already confirmed with you. If everything goes as you’ve planned, the war will take an entirely different turn. 

“The advantage.” You say, not willing to elaborate in front of a room of people you don’t trust. 

Melgren’s eyes narrow and for a moment it doesn’t look like he will even entertain your request, until his gaze moves to your right just where the Duke of Tyrrendor’s seat lies.  

“Very well, Cadet L/N. The Senarium will review your request. Expect an answer by tomorrow.” 

You dip your head in acceptance before exiting. At the turn of your boots, your eyes meet hard onyx ones and terrified hazel. Xaden sits with his usual composure, but you can see the way the shadows vibrate, one even dares to break from its master, but with a breath retreats back to the table. Violet, on the other hand, looks on the verge of tears. 

Part of you feels a pang of regret for not telling her about your research or the ways that you’ve grown closer to Mira over the past few weeks. Though in the next breath, the feeling dissipates as the truth of their betrayal lands heavy between your ribs. 

Tearing your gaze from theirs, your head held high, you continue your march out. You know that this is just the beginning of your day, the inevitable confrontation already brewing in your mind. 

“Remember, you don’t answer to them. Whatever love they have for you requires them to let you make your own decisions.” Mira comments as you both continue towards the rotunda. “I don’t know exactly what’s transpired between the three of you, but whatever it is has altered everything.”

Those words have your brow quirking as you halt next to her, curiosity brewing as she’s never broached the subject of your relationship before. 

“On the first leg of the Quest Squad, things were tense between Xaden and Violet. Whispered conversations and terse words I’ve never seen before, but by the second trip…” Mira shakes her head as if the memory still strikes her as unbelievable. “I guess I never realized how much Xaden was tinder and Violet the flint. On more than one occasion, I thought one of them was going to set the entire world on fire and not in a fun way. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them so opposed to each other.”

“Though now that we’ve been researching, I can see you’re the level head in the relationship.” Mira lets out a small chuckle before you both begin walking again. “Just between you and I, I don’t think they’ll last without you as their glue, definitely not the same as before.”

You snort derisively as you finally enter into the splash of color that is the rotunda. 

“They dug their own graves, now it’s their turn to see if they can dig themselves out of it. Though, I’m not sure even a lifetime would be enough to get them out.” As the words leave your mouth, the shadows of the red dragon pillar shift towards you, black tendrils drawing you toward the entry you just passed.

You knew it was inevitable, that the show you put on was gasoline to the lit match of your words. They certainly wouldn’t be able to keep you safe behind enemy lines. 

You’d be lying to yourself if you said the sheer recklessness of this entire endeavor didn’t excite you. The chance to be out of their clutches, to jump into more danger than just dealing with a partner who has turned venin himself. To finally matter in a fight you’d thought you’d floated to the back of, just another rider.

“What the fuck was that?” Xaden’s eyes are a storm, his rage barely contained by a thread, Violet tearing after him at a slightly slower pace.

“Your Grace,” you spit in derision as Xaden comes to stand directly in front of you.

“Don’t ‘Your Grace’ me.” Xaden forces out as he tries to keep control of himself. “Do you think that I – that we’re – going to let you charge into the fucking Barrens by yourself?”

You don’t cower, don’t shy away from his anger. Instead, you take two steps forward, eating up any space that remains between the two of you, eyes pinned on his storm-dark ones. 

“See that’s the thing here. No one asked your opinion, at least not as anything more than the Duke of Tyrrendor and another vote in the Senarium.” A pleased smile crosses your face as Xaden blows out a frustrated breath. “And from this display, I would hazard a guess that things didn’t come out in your favor.”

“I’m not letting you walk straight into the fucking lion’s den on a damn whim.” Xaden roars as his fury begins to get the better of him. “You aren’t just another soldier to waste.”

“Funny coming from either of you.” Your eyes flying accusatorily between Xaden and Violet. “Seems to me I was just another person to use in our relationship, so now it’s time to put all the air I take up to use.”

Turning on your heel, you don’t wait as you stalk away. You can feel the temperature in the room dropping.

“Xaden, off the ice.” Violet pleads as you see the shadows of the rotunda begin to bleed towards you, though you never change your stride. “This isn’t the way to get her back.”

At those words, you throw your head back and laugh, not one light and airy, but a derisive one full of contempt. 

“There is no going back.” You yell over your shoulder. “Maybe you should’ve considered that before you decided I wasn’t worth the truth.”

Your smile turns from spite to one full of warmth as familiar green eyes find yours from the closest alcove.

“Still causing all of the trouble, I see.” Aaric teases as he takes steps towards you.

“If you haven’t learned that I love stirring the pot, you really haven’t gotten to know me yet.” You muse as Aaric slings his arm over your shoulders. 

“Oh, if anything, I think that was the first thing I learned about you. It’s just a bonus that you’re the only one that can get away with pissing off Riorson.”

“If that’s what you’re waiting to see, then you should just sit back and enjoy the show.” You say as you continue your trek towards the dormitories. “Because I’m just getting started pissing him off. I’m about to test every limit of his patience. Only fair if I return the favor to them, I wager.”

Now it’s time for Aaric to throw his head back with laughter. A smile crosses your features as you look towards the warm face that has become more of a refuge than you ever thought you’d be able to find again. Affection settles into your bones as you realize how pleasant it is to have someone on your side again, someone solely here for you.

_______________

The overwhelming smell of old parchment and leather surrounds you as you bury yourself in the latest set of plans. Since your mission had been approved, the work with Aaric, Mira, Elliott, and approvals with General Melgren had taken up the majority of your time.   

Leaning over the latest iteration of the plans, you barely hear the sounds of the Archives that surround you. It’s the drop of a tome on the table in front of you that causes your head to jerk up and meet hazel eyes that are shining a hard gold. 

“What are you trying to gain out of this whole endeavor?” Violet sounds as her knuckles turn white around the edge of the table. 

At first you don’t respond, choosing instead the silence that both her and Xaden were so fond of giving you. 

“Is this some type of ploy for attention? For us to realize how much we screwed up? Because I can assure you, we are both very aware.” Violet rants as she begins to pace. 

Settling back further into your chair, you just watch as she unravels in front of you. You’d heard the whispers from the Iron Squad, caught the looks from Xaden’s circle, they were fighting with each other. The smooth relationship that they seemed to have before leaving for the Isles finally beginning to fracture at the edges, breaking from the weight of every mistake. You hoped with no small kernel of malice; they were fracturing from the weight of everything you no longer brought to the relationship.

Violet finally comes to a stop and raises an eyebrow as if a realization has been made that she didn’t see before. 

“Are you using Mira to spite me?” She blurts coming to stand next to your chair. 

“Spite you?” You scoff as you begin to arrange everything, not letting her get a look at the work you’ve been undertaking. Coming to a stand, you turn your focus on the girl that you’ve given your heart and trust to time after time. Though the face that you look into no longer holds the warmth and love that it used to. “Do you even hear yourself?”

“You really think I’m petty enough to use your own sister against you? Maybe it’s time for you to do a little self-reflection.” You let the words land as you step up to meet her, your gaze hard. 

“Last I checked, you were the one who thought she could never forgive Xaden’s penchant to keep secrets when it matters. The one who said she could never love us without full disclosure. But you – you did the exact same thing! Only this time, I was sitting on the outside of something that could’ve very much ended with my own meeting with Malek. If anyone is spiteful, I would dare say it’s you.” The quiet tone you adopted turns to a roar. 

“You know neither of us would’ve ever let that happen. Xaden told you himself. He would never hurt either of us and I’d never let him hurt you.” 

“Well, that must be comforting to know when you are able to discern that for yourself. And don’t forget, not all hurt is physical, Violet.” You mock as you begin to turn on your heels, finished with this conversation.

“Did you tell her about Xaden?”

As soon as Violet says the words, the nails of your free hand dig into your palm. Of course, this is what she really wants to know. She isn’t truly sorry for what she did, for what they kept from you. She’s only worried about the perception of herself, of the secrets she wants to stay buried.

“I told those I trust everything I’m concerned about, everything that I’ve learned from my own research. Xaden’s secret is yours to hold, for all of those you both deemed important enough to tell, not mine. Not when I had to hide in the fucking shadows to find out.” Your words are harsh, concise, you aren’t here to give her reassurances anymore. 

“Besides, his secret doesn’t change anything. Not in this war, not in what we had, not to me.”

“But Xaden is yours – he’s ours.” The plea in her voice is clear. 

You know what this is. She’s scared to lose him, to lose both of you. Everything is crumbling and Violet is desperate to hold onto something that is slipping through her fingers like sand. Your eyes fall to the floor as the life you thought you had before flashes in front of your eyes. Xaden’s soft smiles, her lingering touches, the passion that the three of you shared, all of it evaporating on a phantom wind.

In an instant, the vision falls away. The weeks and months of not feeling enough, not being included, constantly falling to the wayside, gone. The fight to maintain your place between or with them no longer dragging through your mind. 

“No.”

“He isn’t.”

“Not anymore.”

You watch as each of your words lands like a punch to the gut to the woman you would’ve easily given your life for, the one who held the trust of your heart in her hands. Her hazel eyes grow glassy as she takes unsure steps towards you. 

“So, that’s it? You’re giving up on us? You’re throwing us away?” The tears begin to fall from her eyes as she moves closer.

“There was nothing left to give up on that either of you didn’t already break. Don’t act like I’m the one that put the mountain of secrets and betrayal between us. Don’t accuse me of throwing love away when you were the one that crumpled it in your own two hands.” Those are your parting words as you turn and leave the Archives behind. 

This isn’t the last time they will cross your path, but there are innocent people out there that are more important than living your life tied to two people who never gave you the love and freedom you deserved.

‘You are mine, Starlight. We will conquer where we can and show them how they underestimate you.’ Rion’s words are assertive, possessive, a warm balm to the fractured pieces of your heart. Though it’s the one truth that you will cling to for the rest of your days. 

If you have ever been anyone’s, you are hers.

_____________________

The familiar smell of the sparring gym flared through your nostrils as you set into your stance. The heft of the twin onyx blades settling into your palms as you step towards the training dummy. Sweat continues to pour from your brow after hours wailing at the form, the salt sliding into your eyes. 

You drag one blade in an arc in front of your face and as you bring your arm down, you find yourself falling forward.

“Shit.” The word is out of your mouth as your knee hits the floor, but instead of the hard impact, your knee is cushioned with an inky darkness. Once the realization hits, you push with your other leg to a standing position and find your blades crossed at the neck of a tall figure. 

Xaden stands there, hair askew and eyes slightly wild. There’s water dripping from his leathers and there’s no missing the rapid rise and fall of his chest. 

“What do you want?” You snap at him, not daring to remove the swords from their place. 

“I need you to promise you won’t step foot in the Barrens.” The words are breathless in a way you’ve never heard from him, both warning and plea.

You study him then, the man that you thought could never possibly let himself turn. Though, you remember his words, he told both you and Violet that he wasn’t soft or kind. He may have sacrificed himself for love, but he lost more than just his humanity in the process. 

“My promises are only for those that I trust.” You say, raising your blades higher. “You lost the ability to be counted in that number.”

Xaden doesn’t try to mask the hurt that flashes through the now-altered colors of his eyes. Months ago, maybe even just days, you would’ve easily caved and comforted him, but now, all you feel is the distance as you back away. 

“Please.” Xaden begs, the tone of his voice one you’d rarely heard. “If you ever loved me, you have to promise.”

You let out a bark of a laugh as you bring up the twin swords and place them in their respective holsters taking steps towards the doors. 

“Trying to use the feelings that I held for you to accomplish your goals won’t work any longer.” You straighten up to your full height, eyes burning with the fire in your words. “I did love you, and stupidly, some days I still do. But, neither you nor Violet get to have a say in anything I do any longer.”

“You can’t willingly let yourself be thrown into the viper’s den. The venin won’t be merciful.” His voice comes out dragged as he tries taking a step towards you.

“I suppose that if anyone would know, it would be you, wouldn’t it?” His eyes flare as the words leave your mouth. The first time you had honestly called him out for what he now was, the madness he was slowly slipping into. 

“This isn’t what I wanted. None of it.”

You can’t help the derisive laugh that falls from your lips. “That may be the most egregious lie you’ve ever told, Xaden. You may not have chosen in the beginning, but after that first night, you made the choice willingly to stay silent.”

You watch as his jaw works as if barely being able to swallow the words you are saying. 

“You chose who you wanted more. You both chose who outshined who in our relationship. I was silly to give myself to both of you all those times when the bond overrode everything else. But I was an absolute fool when I let it happen again, only for the real enemy to be the ones sleeping next to me.”

“I was never going to be inside your head or your heart like your precious Violence. More fool me I suppose, because in the start, there was never a part where I felt inferior.” 

“You were never inferior. You aren’t inferior now. You are equally as vital to me as Violet, my Starlight.” 

A small, sad smile crosses your face. “It’s no longer the time for words, and the actions from both of you are the most glaring proof I could’ve asked for because they will always belie the truth.” 

The shadows begin to slink forward as if determined to tether you to the floor, to stop you from walking out of his life. With a snap of your fingers, they dissipate. Taking two more steps backwards, you finally turn, closing the door of what could have been firmly behind you.

___________________

“Found anything new on that theory?” The smooth voice greets you as the door closes behind with a click. 

The pen in your hand slides to the side of your mouth as you consider. 

“Yes and no. The book on mythology pointed to Amari’s intercession, but it doesn’t explicitly explain how Amaralys was granted her aid. Though every single map we have seems to point to the Stonewater River as the starting point.” Your eyes trail up as Aaric comes to sit on the desk next to you. 

“What’s that look for?”

“What look?”

“The look that tells me you have something you want to say, but you’re afraid of how it will make you look.”

You bite your own lip at that, suddenly self-conscious in more ways than one. Aaric’s hand rises and his thumb comes to your lips, tugging it out from beneath your teeth. 

“You know you can say whatever you want with me. I’m never going to judge you for your insight.” Aaric murmurs quietly, a weight settling between you that has been growing the past few weeks. 

“I know, but its not necessarily you that I’m worried about – though since Rion is in my head, I suppose she already knows.”

‘Astute observation, Starlight.’ Rion’s amused voice floats through your mind making your lips purse. 

Without any more ceremony, you let your theory fly. 

“What if the dragons are the problem?” You don’t miss the reverberation of anger that fills your mind from Rion.

“Perhaps Amari’s aid was channeled through the dragons and somewhere else. But, from what I’ve been able to tell, even the first six were ignorant on the true power of the dragons or how exactly they channeled.” 

“Dragon’s haven’t known to be forthcoming with their secrets.” Aaric confirms, gaze guiding over to the maps strewn over your desk. 

As the words begin to spill, you find yourself pacing the room thoughts spilling without a filter to an audience of one. 

“What if turning venin is a punishment for the desire for power and not truly the direct result of it?”

Aaric’s brows pull in and his eyes focus trying to piece together the puzzle. “So, you think that it depends on a person’s intent?”

“No, it’s not just intent. But…I…I don’t know. Is it the power that triggers the corruption or the way it is pulled?”

“Why don’t you ask your former lover?” Your vision swims with the force of your turn as your eyes widen in surprise. 

“H-How?” You sputter, but the tilt of Aaric’s head has realization dawning. His signet. “How long have you known?”

Analyzing every encounter, you can’t help but chastise yourself for your own stupidity. Aaric must register your growing sense of betrayal, because in the next moment he’s in front of you. 

“I suspected.” He says too cautious with his words. “But, I didn’t know that you didn’t know. I only saw the truth in my visions in the last few days. And I didn’t quite know how to bring the subject up with the way you avoid any conversation about your former partners.”

“How can I trust you? How can I trust that you weren’t just like them, hiding this the entire time?” Your voice rises and you don’t hide the hurt coiling around every word. 

Staring into his eyes, you see the conviction in the pale green that have begun to draw you in more than they should. “Because I made a promise to you and on my life, I would never break it. I would never forgive myself if I acted anywhere near the way your former partners have.”

“And because you deserve someone that will tell you the truth without the threat of lies hiding behind comforting words.” Aaric’s hand rises and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “You are not someone who needs to be coddled behind lies. You deserve the truth laid bare because you are a person’s world and they couldn’t dream of having it any other way.”

The words land between you, tension that wasn’t there moments ago building in the small space. 

“What exactly are you saying, Prince?” The words come out more breathless than you intended and it has the sides of Aaric’s mouth curling. 

“I’m saying, that if you’ll let me, I want to be the person that stands beside you through this war. Through the inevitable flames and sorrow.” Aaric steps closer, hands settling over your waist. “I want to be both protector and partner with whatever comes next.”

“Don’t you think your father would object to the Prince of Navarre settling for someone so common?” The thought of Aaric as the prince settling into your bones. Your penchant for falling for those above your station ruining any thoughts of happiness with the man in front of you. 

“My father can shove his titles, hell his entire kingdom, down Halden’s throat.” Aaric’s voice is firm, the gold in his eyes dancing like flames. 

“Bold words for someone that hasn’t even confirmed I’ll be yours.”

“Well then, will you be?”

“Be what?” You give a saccharine smirk, letting the tease linger in the air.

“Mine.” His hand comes up to cup your face, thumb stroking the swell of your cheek. “Will you let me take up the space that’s next to you, through this war, through this mission, and for whatever future we have left?”

“Awfully poetic words for someone who has seemed to shirk the other women who have thrown themselves at you left and right.” You add as the women and men who have tried to get Aaric’s attention float through your mind. 

“Too bad they didn’t even have a chance to pick up a weapon when you had already won the war.” 

With those words, he leans forward, giving you every opportunity to shy away. His hand tightening on your cheek, words leave your lips, before you can stop them. 

“Did you have a premonition of this too?” They are breathed through the small space left between you, uncertainty ringing through your gut. 

“Only in my dreams.” The words hit your lips in a caress as he closes the remaining distance each inch settling the nerves that had begun to thread through. 

Then there’s no hesitation. All the worry that you wouldn’t be able to push away from your past melting through the sweet taste of his lips. Somehow you melt, heat tingling up your spine where his hand has wrapped around to tug you closer. 

The kiss is like melted honey, warming your insides that you thought had been consumed by only darkness and a gnawing pit of belief you’d never be enough. A groan escapes his lips as he tightens his hold further, the sound sending a flare of heat down your body. 

“Gods. They are fucking fools. I’ve never tasted anyone like you.” Aaric murmurs into your mouth.

“Careful, Prince. If you don’t stop, I might begin to believe I’m the royalty here.”

“Oh darling, you far exceed royalty. You’re a fucking goddess and I’ll worship you as long as you let me.”

An answering moan leaves your lips at his words, hands fisting tightly in his shirt as you attempt to pull him closer. Your hand comes up tangling into the soft sandy curls and tugging slightly. 

“Careful darling, or this may get carried further than you were expecting.” His voice hoarse as he brings his forehead to rest on yours. 

“What if I want to get carried away?”

“All in good time, Sweetheart. I plan to take my time with you.” Aaric says as he pulls back enough to look at your face fully. “You may have burned fast and furious with your previous relationship, but I intend to savor every inch of you like a proper meal.”

There’s no way to stop the color that rushes to your cheeks at Aaric’s words, his smooth demeanor cracking through your own quips. His eyes sparkle as he notices the flush and he brings you closer. As his arms tug you forward, your face buries itself in his neck as he encircles you in his warmth.

“I hope you believe me.” He whispers into your hair. “I’ll never keep anything from you. You know my secrets, and I intend to get to know everything about you in whatever time we will have together.”

You hum in acknowledgment as a smile splits your face. The previous flush receding into a steady warmth at his words. 

“As much as I want to pursue other activities,” He says finally taking a step back. “Let’s get back to this theory of yours.”

___________________

“I think the best area for infiltration is going to be from the Stonewater River then onto the Bay of Malek. I mean, think of it, if they have drained the Barrens, drained the land in their direct vicinity, yet they still don’t march. Are they just biding their time? If so, for what?”

Your words echo in the warded chamber as you sit at the desk, Mira and Aaric flanking.

“Why would they have continued to reside in a drained land unless they are hiding something else?” Aaric’s voice confirms as he steps closer to the desk you have seated yourself at, pouring over the latest map of the Continent. “Violet didn’t include you on the interviews she’s been conducting with Barlowe for a cure?” 

Your gaze swings instantly, the muscles in your neck protesting at the act, irritation blending through every inch. 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Is this something you’ve seen or just more information I don’t know?” There’s no masking the irritation at your continual lack of being included in the constantly changing scope of your past partners’ scheming.

“Neither.” Aaric shrugs as if he assumed the information isn’t important, but the look you give him has him continuing. 

“I am a Prince, you know. And Violet and Imogen aren’t quite as crafty as they like to think they are. There’s an additional guard that is in the next cell that they didn’t account for.” Your eyebrows rise at his admission. “I’ve been having him report all the questions when they feed Barlowe. Besides, it begs the question on how anyone can miss a venin that is on Malek’s doorstep one day and then has the life breathed back into him the next.”

It’s the last comment that truly has your mind whirring, the uncertainty of all the information tangling together. 

“If the Barrens are entirely drained, how are they feeding? How are they alive and planning an entire war from an area that has no land to pull from?”

The question has even Aaric stopping, his gaze turned to you and brows furrowed. 

“Maybe there’s more to the Barrens than we know.”

“Clearly.” You respond dryly as Aaric rolls his eyes fondly.

“We need to get our hands on those books from Queen Maraya’s library. Either that or maybe Cygnesian has something we can use, because you’ve just given me more questions without any of us having any kind of answers.” Mira jumps in as your gazes swing to the area on the map that lies in the barrens.

For moments, no one breaks the silence, until Mira gives you a considering stare.

“How exactly do you plan on leaving Basgiath without Xaden and Violet stopping you?” She asks her head tilting at the thought. “I’ve been in more than one leadership meeting where they’ve both been adamant about you not leaving Basgiath.”

Now it’s your turn to stand, a deep breath escaping you at learning they are still trying to have control in your movements. 

“Soon neither of them will be here.” You say as you begin to pace. “Xaden is being called for his duties as Duke and Violet’s squad will be going to Aretia for their runes class. It’s the perfect time to escape their notice.”

“What about you?” This time Mira directs the question to Aaric.

“Neither of them will miss me when I’m unimportant to them. Violet has been conveniently leaving me out of her research lately and I have made myself scarce. Now that my father knows I’m here, there’s no way they can deny if I say I have royal duties and cannot attend.”

“You mean to say that neither of them knows that the two of you are involved?” Mira quirks an eyebrow, gaze landing on Aaric’s hand that is now firm on your lower back.

“Hard to know we’re involved when neither of us have seen them in about three weeks.” You grumble under your breath, tired of having to consider them in any fashion in your life. “Besides, they forfeit their right to know anything about my life when they chose betrayal over trust.”

You snap your mouth shut at the realization that you were about to reveal more to Mira than you planned. Though you know you would never hide the secret Xaden and Violet are trying to keep from anyone close to you, you won’t be the one to shatter the rose-colored glasses everyone loves to keep. 

The room begins to go quiet as everyone contemplates the next steps. You don’t miss the uncertainty in Mira’s eyes or the way Aaric has begun to loom more protectively than ever over you. Your own hands constantly fidgeting with the gleaming onyx daggers strapped to your hip and thigh. 

“Let’s call it for tonight. I don’t think we are going to uncover anything more than questions at this point.” Mira finally calls as she moves towards the door. 

____________________

‘Is it me or does the air feel different tonight?’ My mind muses and Rion’s answering hum does nothing to quell the rising unease.

‘The wards seem to be wavering. I’m uncertain if Tairn’s rider truly knows the scale of what she changed.’

Not a moment after Rion’s words meet your mind do the hairs on the back of your neck begin to stand on end. 

“It seems that our brother hasn’t been protecting one of his loves very well.” Fear slides up your spine like the prickle of sharp nails against your skin. 

‘Keep him talking.’ Rion blasts into your mind and there’s no missing the panic that shoots through every word. 

You let yourself take a breath before you turn, a face crawling with deep scarlet veins greeting you. Standing as straight as you can, your arms drop to your sides, the cold metal of the blades Xaden had gifted grazing your fingertips. 

“I wasn’t aware that venin had families.” You say in a tone as calm as you can muster. “Seems contradictory when your entire existence is built on destroying all the ones not like you.”

A rasp of a laugh leaves his lips as he takes a step forward. “Oh, the mouth on you will taste so sweet to break, especially while we watch him beg for our mercy.”

Your eyes widen as Xaden’s fear-stricken face slides into your memory. The way he held onto you after his nightmare. 

It wasn’t a nightmare at all. 

It was a warning.

“Oh, you’re quick.” He teases, the rasp of his voice grating through your ears. “He may not have told you, but you remember the signs.”

“Pity you’ll have to die. We could use someone who can read through the lines of logic so easily.”

The venin barely has time to finish speaking before the whoosh of a blade splits the air. A hiss of air leaves him as he vanishes. The place where he just stood on now drained of color from only his footsteps.

“Y/N.” Your name leaves Aaric’s lips on a hoarse whisper, your knees giving out as he takes you into his arms. “Fuck. I thought I wouldn’t make it.”

“They – they want me. They want me as bait.” Words leave on a whisper so soft you aren’t even sure he heard you until his hold tightens further. 

Aaric tilts your head back, his green eyes blazing with a hardness you’ve never seen. 

“You’re mine. They will not touch a hair on your head. Do you understand me?” He asks as his eyes dart quickly between yours. “You are no longer bait to drag Riorson away.”

His words begin to quiet the thundering of your heart as you both sink to the floor of the courtyard. Burying your head into his chest, you try to breathe, push past the way the words bring back memories of the two people who had called you theirs before. As much as you want to be with Aaric, the fresh wound of your previous relationship burns bright in your mind. 

“What if I can’t forget them?” The words are a whisper, but you know Aaric heard by the way his shoulders tense slightly. 

He adjusts you into his lap, pulling you fully onto him as you both still cling to each other on the ground. Warm hands cup your face, brining your gaze to lock onto the pale green of a sunlit forest floor. 

“You don’t need to forget anything. You just need to trust that when the memory of them no longer holds weight, I’m here for you. Always.” The words are murmured, his gaze holding yours steady. 

You bury your head into his chest again, breathing in the scent that smells of both his position and defiance. The lingering feelings for Xaden and Violet crossing your heart as you try to calm the adrenaline of your encounter with the venin. But, its in the safety of the arms of the Prince of Navarre that you realize you’ve never before felt the serenity that lingers in his touch. 

No longer are you chased by the storm of light and darkness, but wrapped gently in the safety of warmth and light. For once in your years at Basgiath, even with the lingering jolt of fear, you feel content.

There’s no doubt that the coming months will be filled with anguish, pain, and loss, but there’s no need to dwell on the impossible. No longer a desperation to change the narrative or your place in this war. With the Prince of Navarre standing by your side, you know that you will fight with everything you have to rid the world of the scourge of the venin and hopefully still walk away with your life. 

____________________

“She’s my responsibility now, not yours.” Xaden’s eyes burn as he stares Aaric down, fists clenching and unclenching next to his sides.

“She is not when you are to stay behind the wards with the rest of the first years.” The words are low and menacing as the two continue their face off. 

You stand between both of them, part of your own self burning as they continue their toxic headbutting. 

“I’m no one’s fucking responsibility! I’m my own!” The words burn as your chest heaves, exhaustion at always trying to stand for yourself. 

Both of their gazes swing to you as soon as the words are out. You can see the words of apology weighing on both their mouths, but your hand rises in defiance. 

“You both can continue your asinine need to prove your worth after, but either way, there are civilians waiting on our help.” The leaves beneath your feet crunch as you continue to walk out of the clearing. 

‘I’ve been waiting on that for far too long.’ Rion’s voice comes as a purr with her approval.

‘Yes, well you knew it would happen at some point. You chose me after all.’ Your smug reply rippling through your bond.

“Darling, wait!” You don’t even get to plant your foot when you are spun around and Aaric’s lips are on yours. “You’re right, and I need you to stay safe.”

The change in his tone has your brows furrowing. “You saw something, didn’t you?”

The slight shake of his head confirms your suspicions. 

“What are you going to do?” Now, instead of pride, fear begins to slide inside your chest.

“I’m flying south. Those troops Umbriel promised to us will join and I need to be there to direct them.” Aaric’s forehead lands on your own. “I just need you to keep yourself safe, or as safe as possible.”

You shake your head once before his lips are on yours again. The kiss is slow and languid, opposite to the raucousness swirling around you. His hands tighten around you with a fierce grip for a second and the next the bite of the wind takes its place. 

You know he isn’t one for goodbyes, so you let yourself watch as he mounts Molvic and turns to you for one last look. With no more ceremony, the blue monster launches into the sky and you turn towards Rion’s foreleg.

‘Now its time for you to shine, my Starlight.’ Rion says as she launches.

A sinister smirk crosses your face in answer. ‘I think it’s finally time for them to see the true power of the light.’

With those words echoing, you fly towards the battle that is unfolding. No longer the forgotten partner or being hidden behind those with titles or bonds. A powerful rider that would show no mercy to anyone who dares to threaten the opportunity of peace.

.

.

Divider: @empyreanevents

Everything Taglist: @ilovetomtailor @nevermoresworld @nastylicious @iambored24601 @mysticalfuncollectorus @sadpieceofbread @alwayshave-faith @bestillmystuckyheart @luvly-writer @yuelhua @mitziix @dragonsandrinks @interphellar @whoreforfictionalmen18 @athena0802