#x-phile

Trekkie (left): A flag for someone who is a fan of Star Trek. The user may also feel that their love for Star Trek is integral to their identity.

X-Phile (right): A flag for someone who is a fan of The X-Files. The user may also feel that their love for The X-Files is integral to their identity.

I love The X-Files not because my life is lacking, but because every time Mulder and Scully cross my mind — in an image, a sound, a fleeting thought — the world shifts. It's like spring arrives all at once: colors deepen, the air feels lighter, warmer, and I remember what it is to be vividly, quietly alive.

“What X-File I Watch?” you ask.  I curate list.  You watch.  You.  Watch.  Especially the Darin Morgan episodes.

Season 1 (Think Of It As A Really Long B-Movie)

1-1 Pilot When Mulder met Scully 1-2 Deep Throat Not porn 1-3 Squeeze Scary contortionist liver harvester 1-8 Ice Field trip to Alaska featuring ear worms 1-11 Eve Clones, clones, clones 1-13 Beyond the Sea Scully’s first big loss of MANY 1-17 E.B.E. Meet the Lone Gunmen 1-20 Darkness Falls Scary invisible bugs take over the North Shore 1-21 Tooms Return of the liver harvester 1-24 The Erlenmeyer Flask Look how pregnant Gillian Anderson is

Season 2 (When The Show Got Really Fucking Good)

2-1 Little Green Men Aliens!  Puerto Rico! 2-2 The Host Darin Morgan as… FLUKEMAN! 2-3 Blood Darin Morgan tells us about subliminal messaging 2-5 Duane Barry Mulder goes for a swim, meets Krycek 2-6 Ascension Red Speedo part 2: Scully’s alien abduction

2-8 One Breath Red Speedo part 3: Scully’s return 2-9 Firewalker It’s basically Alien, right down to the chest bursters 2-10 Red Museum Fucking vegans 2-11 Excelsis Dei Ghost rape 2-12 Aubrey “I’ve always had a thing for girls named BJ” 2-13 Irresistible Sometimes the monster of the week is just a serial killer 2-14 Die Hand die Verletzt Evil teachers 2-15 Fresh Bones Haitian zombies 2-20 Humbug Darin Morgan writes another gem, Scully eats bugs 2-21 The Calusari Evil twins 2-24 Our Town Mad chicken disease

Season 3 (The One Where Mulder Dies And Is Resurrected For The First Time)

3-3 D.P.O. Jack Black runs an arcade 3-4 Clyde Bruckman Psychics, Darin Morgan, need I say more? 3-6 2Shy Internet dating culture in 1995 3-8 Oubliette Jewel Staite gets kidnapped 3-9 Nisei Aliens on a Train 3-10 731 Aliens on a Train pt. 2 3-12 War of the Coprophages Darin Morgan’s cockroach friends 3-13 Syzygy “Hate him, wouldn’t wanna date him.” 3-17 Pusher Brain tumors = psychic abilities 3-18 Teso dos Bichos Attack of the kitties 3-19 Hell Money Lucy Liu-kemia 3-20 Jose Chung's Scully doesn’t swear, according to Darin Morgan 3-21 Avatar Skinner kills hookers 3-22 Quagmire Darin Morgan’s Ogopogo kills Scully’s dog 3-23 Wetwired Mulder is colour blind 3-24 Talitha Cumi Meet Jeremiah Smith and the alien bounty hunter

Season 4 (Don’t Worry, Scully Is Immortal)

4-1 Herrenvolk So many Samantha Mulders 4-2 Home Incest: too hot for TV 4-3 Teliko Delicious pituitary glands 4-4 Unruhe German dental torture 4-6 Sanguinarium Plastic surgery featuring Satan 4-7 Musings of a CSM CSM kills everyone important 4-12 Leonard Betts Nomnomnom, cancer 4-13 Never Again Your Jodie Foster tattoo is talking to me 4-14 Memento Mori Aliens give Scully the gift of brain cancer

4-15 Kaddish Hasidic Jews 4-20 Small Potatoes Darin Morgan fucks all the bitches 4-21 Zero Sum ‘Member killer bees?  I ‘member. 4-22 Elegy Mulder & Scully go bowling 4-23 Demons Mulder starts flipping his shit 4-24 Gethsemane Mulder dies, again

Season 5 (The Season Everyone Liked)

5-1 Redux Jokes, Mulder is alive; Scully might die 5-2 Redux II Jokes, Scully’s fine - probably immortal 5-3 Unusual Suspects Lone Gunmen origin story 5-4 Detour Scully sings to Mulder in the forest 5-5 Post-Modern Prometheus Frankenstein’s monster loves Cher 5-6 Christmas Carol Scully has a child? 5-7 Emily Let’s kill it off and do it again come season 8 5-10 Chinga Stephen King and the Lynn Valley Dairy Queen 5-11 Kill Switch Upload yourself to the internet 5-12 Bad Blood Pizza and vampires, can you dig it? 5-17 All Souls Polydactyl quadruplets vs. the Catholic church 5-18 The Pine Bluff Variant Biological weapons in the movie theater 5-19 Folie a Deux Everyone is insane and there are giant bugs 5-20 The End As in the end of filming in Vancouver

Season 6 (80% LOLs, 20% Bullshit, 100% California)

6-1 The Beginning Welcome to California. 6-2 Drive Before Breaking Bad, there was X-Files 6-3 Triangle Mulder and Scully do “Titanic” 6-4 Dreamland Mulder gets a water bed 6-5 Dreamland II Mulder gets his body back 6-6 How Ghosts Stole Xmas Haunted Christmas house with Miss Frizzle 6-7 Terms of Endearment Ash from Evil Dead wants children 6-13 Agua Mala Florida is fucking ghetto 6-14 Monday Groundhog Day starring David Duchovny 6-15 Arcadia “Woman, get in here and make me a sandwich” 6-18 Milagro A creep stalks Scully and writes her a fanfic 6-19 The Unnatural Ice cream, baseball, aliens, and the KKK 6-20 Three of a Kind The Lone Gunmen drag Scully to Vegas 6-21 Field Trip Mulder and Scully do shrooms

Season 7 (Enjoy Mulder While He’s Still Here)

7-3 Hungry Meat is murder, for reals 7-6 The Goldberg Variation Shia LaBeouf needs a lucky liver 7-7 Orison Donnie Pfaster returns 7-8 The Amazing Maleeni Twin magicians 7-9 Signs and Wonders Snakes for Jesus 7-12 X-Cops Probably the most 1999 crossover 7-13 First Person Shooter Mulder and Scully play very early, shitty VR 7-15 En Ami CSM is a gross fucking rapist 7-17 all things Scully meets some nice holistic lesbians 7-19 Hollywood A.D. X-Files starring Tea Leoni and Garry Shandling 7-22 Requiem Mulder gets abducted by aliens, Scully is pregnant

Season 8 (The One With The Baby)

8-4 Roadrunners The cult of the back slug 8-5 Invocation Time traveling ghost babies 8-10 Badlaa The little man that hides in your ass 8-12 Medusa Spooky tunnels 8-13 Per Manum Alien fetuses are the only reason I watched S8 8-14 This is Not Happening Mulder is dead!  Again. 8-15 DeadAlive Did I say dead?  Jokes.

8-19 Alone This is basically a self-insert fanfic 8-20 Essence Supersoldiers want Scully’s baby 8-21 Existence Scully has the baby, Reyes becomes her wife

Season 9 (X-Files With Doggett & Reyes)

9-5 Lord of the Flies Jackass featuring actual flies 9-11 Audrey Pauley Reyes’s coma adventure 9-13 Improbable If man is 5, then the devil is 6, and God is Burt Reynolds 9-14 Scary Monsters Children are awful 9-15 Jump the Shark The one where they murder the Lone Gunmen 9-16 William Mulder and Scully give up their not-so-alien baby 9-18 Sunshine Days This dude *really* loves the Brady Bunch 9-19 The Truth It’s not good, but it’s “the end” 9-20 The Truth II

Season 10 (Dear God, Why?)

With a new season of The X-FIles coming soon and October finally arriving, this seems like the perfect time to drop some X-FIles artwork on the world.  

You can purchase this art on posters, stickers, mugs, shirts and more in one of my shops

doctorheadly.redbubble.com 

teepublic.com/user/doctorheadly 

doctorheadly.threadless.com