#x reader posts

because it's giving matty explaining to professor mcgonagall that he did not in fact punch mclaggen for looking at you funny for 0.0000001 seconds too long

if you haven't heard it, it goes like:

(The reason im saying this is because someone just requested something that goes so against my rules im genuinely disturbed.)

*earlier*

r: "you have an interesting way of doing things, mattheo."

*later in his dorm*

m: "interesting? INTERESTING? is she interested in me, or does she think i'm weird? am i weird? do i freak her out? what if-"

bonus:

d: "merlin, shut up already! i need my beauty sleep to look this good! *condescending huff* my father will hear about this..."

t: "mate, just go to bed...you've been at this for an hour..."

r: *hurriedly straightens hair and clothes, embarrassed, and follows the professor to wherever they're being led*

t: *follows after them, nonchalant, looking at their ass (that he was squeezing a few minutes ago)*

[they've been dating for a few years now]

m: hey gorgeous, wanna come home with me tonight? promise i'll treat you well...you coming over isn't gonna be the only thing coming tonight...

r: *confused/judgmental/something stare*

[awkward silence]

r: matty...we've been dating for over a year...

m: ...

*someone approaches reader, clearly interested*

m: *cocks his head slightly, squinting at them*

r: *laughs at something they said, not noticing the person touching their arm*

m: *jaw clenches*

j: you talk smack about me? i'll smack you! i'll shove these antlers where the sun don't shine! *angry deer noises*