May 27, 2025
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when an Addams has only one thing on their mind.
Esther: *scoffs* Homicide?
Wednesday: *ominously* Your daughter.
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Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when an Addams has only one thing on their mind.
Esther: *scoffs* Homicide?
Wednesday: *ominously* Your daughter.
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Enid: Babe! I just learned a new joke from the pack! Wanna hear it?
Wednesday: Absolutely not.
Enid: Knock, knock!
Wednesday: I did not consent.
Enid: 😠
Enid: KNOCK. KNOCK.
Wednesday: *aggrieved sigh* Who’s there?
Enid: Ah!
Wednesday: …?
Enid: *stomps her foot* AH!
Wednesday: *deeply affronted sigh* Ah who?
Enid: Ah-WOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo!
Wednesday: 😐
Wednesday: 😑
Wednesday: 😐
Enid: 😃
Wednesday: I refuse.
Enid: ☹️
Wednesday: 😒
Enid: 🥺
Wednesday: 🙄
Wednesday: *devoid of enthusiasm* Awoo.
Enid:
Enid: Be your own psycho, Agnes. Trust me, you’ll be good at it.
Agnes: 🥹
– Many years later. –
Wednesday: Mi lobita, guess who’s back on the FBI’s Most Wanted list for deranged acts of truly ingenious mayhem?
Enid: Please don’t be Agnes please don’t be Agnes please—
Wednesday: *proudly* It’s our Agnes.
Enid:
Wednesday: I would gladly die for you, Enid.
Enid: That’s great and all, but would you gladly dye for me?
Wednesday: *stares at Enid’s armload of hair-dying supplies*
Wednesday: You do recall that I am exceptionally allergic that particular brand of dye, correct?
Enid: Yeah, but I thought you’d have more fun if there’s the very real risk of your skin sloughing off. It’ll be kinda like your uncle’s story about breaking into a bank vault using only a barrel of acid.
Wednesday: That’s how Uncle Fester lost his last remaining fingerprints.
Enid: Exactly! Now’s your chance to start losing yours.
Wednesday:
Enid: *hopeful smile*
Wednesday: …Keep the gloves. Hand me the rest.
Enid: 🥰
Enid: Hey, babe, what’s up? You’re looking a little more, uh… woeful than usual.
Wednesday: I am feeling strangely disconnected today. Even your incorrigible cheer feels somehow dampened by this malaise.
Enid: Aw, are you feeling down in the dumps?
Wednesday: *scoffs* Please, my feelings are nothing so pedestrian.
Enid: Oh yeah? Then what are they like?
Wednesday: *thoughtful pause*
Wednesday: It is as though I am a derelict ship lost at sea, blinded by fog and haunted by the mere memory of warmth.
Enid: *equally thoughtful pause*
Enid: Wednesday, if you’re a lost ship, then I’m your lighthouse. I will always be here to guide you back, so that you may crash upon my loving shores.
Wednesday: You would make a shipwreck out of me?
Enid: Obvi! Complete and total loss of life. Not even the rats survive. Tragic to the max.
Wednesday: *steps closer* …mi luz. 🖤
Enid: *leans in* My ghost ship~ 💕
Wednesday/Enid: 👩❤️💋👩
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Wednesday: *glaring at Enid’s phone* That is most certainly NOT me.
Bianca: I dunno, you’re both cold-blooded.
Ajax: And got mad skills with string instruments.
Agnes: And have a thing for unapologetically ostentatious blonde divas with no volume control.
Enid: *beaming* See, babe? It’s unanimous, this gif is totes you!
Wednesday:
Wednesday: I despise you all.
Gif in question:
Enid: *furious* READ MY LIPS, WEDNESDAY! NO MORE Mmmph!
Wednesday: *quite thoroughly reads Enid’s lips*
Enid: *tries valiantly to not melt into a puddle*
Wednesday: *finally releases Enid, her own cheeks flushed*
Wednesday: Just as I expected. Gibberish.
Bianca: You know that wasn’t what she meant.
Wednesday: *scoffs* She made the demand. I simply chose to read them in Braille.
Bianca: In that case, why did you use your lips instead of your fingertips?
Wednesday: Cello callouses.
Bianca:
Bianca: Fair.
Enid: 🫠💕
In their shared room, Wednesday stands next to Enid’s wastebasket, holding up a broken branch and a box marked One Wish Willow.
Wednesday: What… What have you done, Enid?
Enid: I did it for us, Wednesday. Because I love you.
Wednesday: *hisses* You took away my free will!
Enid: I HAD to! You left me no choice!
Wednesday:
Wednesday: So everything that’s happened this past week, the changes in my behavior, in how I feel… they’re all because you… you wished for…
Enid: For you to stay hydrated.
Wednesday:
Wednesday: I will admit, the newfound clarity and reduced lethargy are not entirely unwelcome.
Enid: SEE? And your skin has never looked better!
Wednesday: *pouts and takes a grudging sip from her water bottle*