#writingproject

Hidup makin ke sini makin sendiri-sendiri. Dulu kemana-mana rame-rame seru, sekarang udah sendiri-sendiri. Ada yang udah berumah tangga, ada yang masih single tapi pindah kota, dll. Ya udah rasanya pasti udah gak sama.

Sibuk sama urusan masing-masing. Sesekali tanya kabar mentok ya ngintip aja lewat postingan di media sosial yang sekelumit itu tapi tetap alhamdulillah.

Mau meet up atur jadwalnya gak bisa kayak dulu, yang ngajak sekarang keluar sekarang juga dijabanin. Sekarang pertimbangannya banyak, tapi ya gitu kan hidup. Bertumbuh, berkembang. Masa iya mau gitu-gitu aja.

Yang dulu dekat dan tetap dekat ada. Yang dulu dekat tapi jadi gak sedekat dulu ada. Yang dulu gak dekat tapi tiba-tiba dekat juga mungkin aja.

Manusia dinamisnya luar biasa.

Sedih dan kecewa karena keadaan berubah itu gak apa-apa, namanya juga perasaan kan. Valid. Tapi memaksakan hal-hal yang dulu tetap ada kayaknya terlalu egois ya. Gak perlu juga lah.

Pun kalau interaksi gak sebanyak dulu ya wajar aja, prioritas bergeser dan pasti berbeda.

Dulu, kalau kita lagi capek, down, tanpa diminta mungkin mereka paling pertama kasih semangatnya.

Hari ini, mau sejungkir balik apa kita, beberapa orang di sekitar, mungkin bukan gak peduli, tapi ya udah gak sempet aja kasih energinya buat kita. Karena ya itu tadi prioritasnya berbeda.

Gak lagi dikasih semangat, gak lagi sesering itu keep contact ya udah jangan dibaperin lama-lama.

Sedih boleh, marah boleh, tapi marah ke siapa?

Hidup kita bukan urusan mereka. Toh sekarang ada yang benar-benar dekat dan kasih energinya dengan sukarela setiap saat.

Kenapa cari yang gak ada?

Ya kangen aja. Tiap diem, keinget dulu kemana-mana bareng. Ada yang kesusahan dikit langsung cepet buat bangkitinnya. Sekarang boro-boro, kadang juga tau kabarnya setelah sekian bulan lamanya.

Udah, udah gak apa-apa. Emang gitu siklusnya. Didoain aja, semoga di manapun tempatnya selalu ada bahagia dan sehat buat mereka.

Oh, lagi, kalau saat mereka susah terus kita ada tapi pas keadaan sebaliknya mereka gak ada, gak apa-apa juga. Mungkin pada waktu itu kitanya lagi longgar jadi energinya ada. Dan waktu kitanya capek, butuh semangat, eh taunya mereka gak ada, mungkin bukan mereka gak peduli. Tapi bisa aja mereka juga lagi merasakan hal yang sama. Jadi ya gak ketemu aja. Gitu aja mikirnya, biar gak nambah beban capeknya.

Ttd,

Satu sisi, sebagaimana manusia biasa, rasanya ingin sekali diberi keberlimpahan harta yang dengannya bisa membahagiakan orang tua, menolong sesama dan berbuat banyak untuk umat.

Sayang, di sisi satunya, sebagaimana manusia yang diujiankan nafsu mencintai dunia sedemekiaan rupa, rasanya enggan memiliki harta yang diperebutkan oleh ahli waris, diributkan sanak keluarga. Bahkan, ketika sadar itu tak lagi menjadi hak, masih saja getol mendapatkannya. Dan tak jarang menyebabkan pecah perang saudara.

Ternyata benar, mabuk dunia semenyeramkan itu.

Maka, Ya Allah, biarkan aku mabuk akhirat melalui harta duniaMu.

Kamu memang serupa langit. Bukan karena tinggi, tapi karena kamu adalah manifestasi kebaikan yang diciptakan Tuhan bukan (hanya) untuk aku. Kamu indah dikagumi, tapi tidak bisa dimiliki. Jangan terlalu keras sama diri sendiri ya. Kamu itu memang layak dikagumi. Tetap jadi baik ya, kamu itu menginspirasi.

When I was 16 years old, I had two cats named panda and oyen. My life became perfect because they had completed my life. I was very happy to have them in my life. They were siblings and they were so cute. There were so many memories that we created together when they were still alive. They became my friends when I was alone at home. Every time I came back from school, they would wait for me in front of the door. They always made me happy and were by my side all the time. To make it simple, Allah lent them to me for just one year. They both died at the same time because of fever. The date of their death is really close to the date of their birthday. Since that day, my life became dark and i feel so lonely. I always cry after coming back from school because I no longer have friends at home. I never thought that they would leave so soon. Also, I was traumatized to adopt a cat so I decided to not adopt a cat anymore because I am afraid the incident will happen again.

I love them so much. I always pray that Allah will replace me with something more beautiful in the future. I can't tell you one by one our memories together because I'm still sad about losing them both. Although they are both gone, their names and memories are still in my heart forever. I miss you so much, oyen and panda.

If you don't know which writing project to work on yet this season, here's part 2!

I hope these strategies (or the ones I shared earlier this week) help you figure out your next writing project!

Image reads: "Strategies To Figure Out Your Next Writing Project" 3. Pick a project based on which ones you already started and want to finish first. 4. Pick a project based on what type of mood you want to write (lighthearted, angst, hurt/comfort, etc.) Sheets of paper and emojis of various expressions can be seen beside the two points.

Looking for Part 1? Check out this post!

Want to learn more about me and my work?

Bersedia pergi meskipun enggak mau, Bersedia berhenti, meskipun perasaan km enggak gitu.

Jika ditanya rasanya sedalam apa?

Aku tidak bisa menakarnya.

Jika ditanya seingin apa?

Seperti ingin menggenggam seluruh dunia.

Perasaan yang sekiranya tak pernah engkau kira atau pula engkau terima, setiap harinya ia tumbuh tanpa sedikitpun rasa iba.

Kesempatan yang tak kunjung datang itu kadang-kadang membuatku putus asa.

Tetapi, melangitkan namamu dalam setiap doa, tak akan hentinya aku coba.

Barangkali, mencintaimu adalah sebuah usaha tanpa timbal balik.

Oleh karena itu, aku dituntut untuk siap menghadapi berbagai hal pelik.

 Seperti melihat tuju mu yang semakin mengarah kepadanya.

 Ah! Apakah tak ada 1 saja doaku yang sampai pada yang kuasa?!

Padahal aku sungguh ingin memberikan duniaku yang utuh untuknya, namun jika ia lebih memilih semesta lain,

Aku bisa apa?

Nemuri no

The car door fell closed and drowned out the lively din of Buroku-Chūōbyōin's underground parking lot. The actress sunk back into the seat as tiredness weightened on her bearing, far more than she'd care to admit.

“Ne, Vermouth, the world is no stage of yours now, isn't it?”

“Ara, little Holmes. I seem to have left my poise and panache in Beika, along with my Colt Government and five inch Louboutins. It clashed horrible with Yūsaku's Belstaff tweed coat and overall cockiness.” The ‘A shared family trait, as it may seem, dear.’ was left unsaid yet not lost on his son.

With an air of petulance the bouya scowled and slumped back into the bench seat.

Reaching out to the sulking detective boy, the elder woman tousled his hair up even further. Only to have her hand slapped away amid a surly grumble. “Sheesh! Ano on'na... .”

The bespectacled gazes of both FBI agents strayed in unison into the rearview mirror to watch the woman and the bouya in the back.

In the passenger seat of her superior' s mercedes, Jodie's lips quirked minutely, but schooled back into a hard line in the next.

-後程-

“You should take the mask off. You're still running a slight fever after all. Yukiko-obāsan always complains, how it makes it harder to breathe underneath. But I guess, you're more used to it, than she is, ne?”

This dryly dished out bon mot was an overt jab at her predilection to hide beneath masks. The little one had grown much too cheeky for her liking. Although she had to concede him a point, she was quite uncomfortable beneath. But did she truly want to lift the mask, with Black being there?

“These masks of yours, you can no longer remove them without removing some of your own skin, don’t you, kawaii-ko?”

Absinthe's words made her skin crawl anew.

“Fine.” she conceded. A fine manicured hand wandered to her neck, deft fingertips were sliding up just beneath the curve of her chin to unmask with habitual expertise.

As the trusted requisite fell, the actress couldn't eschew but breathe a content sigh. An sidelong glance to her little Holmes wasn't even needed to ascertain smugness was abound. Not that his ego was in dire need to be panegyrized. 'You're your mother's child, aren't you?' Fondness crinkled the corner of her eyes in a certain softness that stole away from hardened aloofness.

Black was involuntary drawn to the whole scene unraveling in the backseat as the actress ripped off the mask, and the woman who reappeared beneath, was no older than Jodie herself.

Three days ago as he had first laid eyes on the actress he'd last seen in person almost twenty years prior, he dared not to let his gaze waver in fear of what he would be met with, if her face was the one he would seek out. Not after seeing the carnage the .hollow-point had wrecked as it had torn into the cavity above her heart nor the gory trench just shy of her carotid.

To him, the woman Jodie had held onto, might've been closer to death than life.

Thereafter, he'd been preoccupied to ascertain she would not be killed whilst recovering. And yet, an attempt at her life had been made and almost successfully executed as Jodie briefed him in, on what had transpired the night before.

And now, the same woman whose life seemed stuck in a broken clockwork, was living on borrowed time.

Vermouth caught Black`s gaze in the rearview mirror. Stoic green met conflicted amber for a mere moment, then the actress averted her eyes to glance outside the passenger side window. The dull hubbub of the nightlife outside, passing her by with a strange kind of estrangement at large.

If this world was none but a stage to her, she would gladly take her exit through the wings. An all too well known world-weariness settled, a tiredness far beyond morpheus reach.

-後程-

Three kōsokudōro later, the woman and the bouya in the backseat were fast asleep.

“Oh my…” Jodie had to chance a double take as she peeked over the her seat back. A pinprick of curiosity alighted at the lull in conversation between cool kid and Vermouth.

The bouya had leaned into the actress, whilst sleep had claimed him. Ostensibly quite content there with his glasses slightly askew.

But it was the elder woman's hand, laid shy of the little tantei`s temple, which gave Jodie pause. Tousled strands stood in evidence, where not long ago Vermouth`s fingers must've carted through, but now lay idle amid the bouya's unruly fringe. This sweet gesture of hers, held such a stirringly maternal sentiment, Jodie had to avert her eyes as the mirror to the past crack'd from side to side. Made even more palpable by the woman untouched by time itself.

The grief lay so raw now.

-後程-

21 years ago. Starling Residence.

The little girl tugged her knees up to her chest and nestled her cheek against their caps.

All huddled in upon herself, for a time she didn't stir, but thereupon trembled with a minute shiver, soon to be superseded by another and onto the next, till her small frame shook under the weight of held in sobs.

Her knuckles strained white against her stuffed jackrabbits rich brown fur. A threadbare lagomorphian solacer, whose velvet nose nuzzled up to the palm of its owner. Now became bearer and witness as Jodie's quiet sniffles carried out into the night.

The door to the nursery slightly left ajar, yawned open and a soft tread fell on carpeted floors.

“Little Miss.” a warm feminine lilt inquired softly.

Halting mere steps before the huddled up child, the elder woman crouched to met the littlest Starling at eye level. A gesture further accompanied by the rustling of silk and a faint trace of wintersweet.

Without lifting her gaze, the little girl know who had come. It was a woman she'd met as the fiancée of a kindly Englishman, who'd been a dear friend to her father, even back then. A year had worn on since that day of winters past, and his fiancée likewise had proven a trusted friend to her family.

Tucking a wayward strand of platinum blonde hair behind her ear, the elder woman observed the child before her with overt worry.

“Do you mind if I stay?” she queried genially, careful not to impose her presence onto the toddler.

The little girl shook her head, tousled honeyed curls were spilling to the tip of her chin as a pair of azure eyes shyly peeked through.

“Please.” a word of plea and a bright-eyed appeal for her to remain.