#writingpoems

Blind since the womb;

my father said I've always been too clumsy.

We’ve never had a good relationship.

who gets along with stuck up individuals anyway?

I never meant to be a disappointment.

I'm lost, truly. 

I attempt to listen to myself 

feel empathetic, 

hand all gratitude to life,

then nothing and everything feels lame without drugs.

I am at peace,

but the struggle is hitting me. 

What have I done? 

Love will never be you once again And I keep telling my heart That I don’t want it to be you

Love will be an alarm clock In the mornings when I do not want to get up yet, But it’s not your kiss that will wake me up anymore

Love will be a cup of coffee In the afternoons when work gets stressful, But it’s not your smile that will calm me down anymore

Love will be a sweet lullaby In the evenings when I could not sleep, But it’s not your voice that will softly sing to me anymore

Love will be a thick, comforting blanket In the midnights when I feel so cold, But it’s not your embrace that will keep me warm anymore

My love, even if I still want you, I know deep inside my heart That it will never be you once again

— Hughie Lane G. Gaupo

Sometimes I fear

I will never find happiness

For the dreams which once existed

In the depths of my imagination

Constant worries.

Constant fears.

Always wondering if I’ll ever be good enough.

Constant tears flowing down my face

I don’t know just how to stop this feeling of disgrace.

Fear of rejection, fear of crowds.

Fear of speaking, of reaching out.

Fear of using my voice to speak.

So, I stay in the shadows, hiding.

Waiting for things to get better

Waiting for the sun to shine down where I linger.

Constantly needing approval. Constant nerves.

A severe, overwhelming urge to scream.

To fight the demons that hide inside my mind.