Mar 24, 2019
I'm sure I won't let you go away.
Late night conversations with him ||March 2019
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I'm sure I won't let you go away.
Late night conversations with him ||March 2019
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Queens Of The Stone Age ❤
Out of all the choices I have ever made, love is without a doubt the hardest
I need to start writing more... I'm losing my mind.
Ampersand
And to think. How many times did I stay When I should've gone? How many times did I limit When I should've just been free? How many times did I hold out my hands Instead of holding myself?
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My obsession and plight Use poetry in stories I write Releasing ghosts of tales past Hidden in the shadows of moonlight
I ran free of a destructive sea Waves drowning my purity Ships sinking, no lifeboat or land Praying someone to rescue me.
Here I am standing on my own Here I am setting ghosts free No matter who I have met Here I am writing their interruption of who I am supposed to be.
So last night I went to the bars with my homeboy and his coworkers. It was so fun! He actually told me that one of his coworkers was interested in me but, like, nahhh I don’t care for that right now. Like, I was talking to that coworker last night and he’s really bubbly/silly and nice but, like I said, I don’t care for it. Right now, I’m my priority and I’m not where I want to be so I can’t think of anyone else to be in my life, to make happy. Anyway, last night was the first night of drinking since the “break up” that I didn’t get emotionally drunk and break down. I mean, there was a second where I was reminded but I tucked those feelings away and breathed through that choking moment. My homeboy also said it was the happiest he’s ever seen me in a long time. And that makes me so happy too because I think I’ve been okay and coping well but to hear from friends that they see I’m doing well again, makes me happy. I don’t want them to worry about me or continue to feel sad for me, they honestly have been there for me. So I got super drunk, like, downing drinks left and right, I don’t know why I kept drinking so much when I’m only 90lbs. And I trooped through it with smiles and had an awesome time with those chill guys. I’m normally a really happy, bubbly drunk and that’s what it was last night. I ended up falling asleep when we went to go eat, and I fell asleep again when we got back to his coworker’s place, and then I finally got home at 6am and I was just so happy, it was a really good night. But I’m going to lay off alcohol for a while. I swear, I’ve been drinking all the damn time and it’s like I wanted to drink so I could feel numb, so I could feel nothing. I thought that it was better to feel nothing than to feel at all. Now, I think I’m stronger, strong enough to just be sober and enjoy the little things. LOL I sounded like an alcoholic just now, oh well. So yeah, here’s a post where I’m not complaining or miserable or hateful. I’m actually a really friendly and polite person.