#wpgjets

YO YES

When you first started seeing Mark, it was great sex already, and then he brought out the GIANT list of kinks so the two of you could discuss what you are definitely into, what you’re definitely not, and a host of things to try. It’s been really fun figuring those out.

Dustin Byfuglien - overstimulation (giving and receiving)

Blake Wheeler - blindfolds

Mark Scheifele - rimming (giving and receiving)

Mathieu Perreault - teasing with feathers (receiving)

Josh Morrissey - vibrators

I don’t usually write for seguin bc he’s not a fave either but I couldn’t help myself

Fight: Josh Morrissey vs Tyler Seguin

Ok this is actually the result of a longstanding grudge between the two. Josh’s hair looked awesome one game against Dallas during warm-ups and Tyler asked what hair product he used. Josh laughed it off as a joke and skated away without answering.

Tyler. Has held a grudge. For three years.

So when he finally has an excuse (a hard but fair hit on one of the rookies), Tyler drops the gloves on Morrissey. Morrissey is confused but goes with it.

Josh wins because his bucket came off during the fight and Tyler got temporarily distracted by Hair Envy™

Fight: Mitch Marner vs Kyle Connor

Okay. So. Mitch is kind of dumb. It’s fine. We all know this.

So when Auston gets a little bit rocked by a Jet during a game, Mitch doesn’t know who it is but he grabs the nearest Jet and starts swinging.

Matt’s not around to do the fighting anymore, so someone has to do it.

It’s not even the right player but Connor is fighting back so they’re just gonna go with it I guess.

Fight: Mark Scheifele and Devan Dubnyk

Ok so these dudes are pretty chill. Even when the rest of the team is really emotional, they’re just relaxed emotional rocks. Both of them. So when the Jets/Wild game gets REALLY nuts, they’re ready to try and calm things down.

Unfortunately there is a HUGE brawl.

Huge.

Everyone is fighting.

Everyone. 

Even Hellebuyck (he’s trading punches with Staal)

And honestly nobody remembers how it started and it’s just so funny that Schiefely and Dubnyk just look at each other and shrug and go “lmao what the hell” and drop the gloves.

Who wins? Dubnyk. He has more padding. Even though they were both kind of laughing too hard for it to be a real “win” lmao