#world issues

Hey all. You all probably have different levels of knowledge about who I am, what I do, etc, so lemme catch you all up. I'm Ryan. I'm from São Paulo, Brazil. At the age of 17, I was accepted to study biochemistry at UCLA. I left São Paulo, the only place I had ever lived in, and moved to the US in 2021 to start my biochemistry degree. After 4 years of hard work, I'm graduating this week. I always planned to stay in the US after graduation to work, get my PhD in chemistry, and just live my life.

And I was on my way to do that, until you-know-who walked into office a few months ago. That was when my entire field started being absolutely gutted. My professors were fired. PhD programs stopped existing. My hardest working friend in my major was accepted to UCLA's biochem PhD program and had her acceptance rescinded due to lack of funding. She was absolutely devastated. Like me, like the rest of us, all she wanted to do was be a scientist.

All the post-graduation jobs that I applied to stopped existing. I was hoping to get a student visa extension, which can be done if you get a job in your field post graduation. I was on my way to do that. I got some job interviews, most of which went really well. But none of that mattered, because those entire programs vanished into thin air. I checked in on applications to jobs I was more than qualified for, only to find out they had stopped existing altogether.

For the last year, I've worked in a biochemical engineering research lab, and things have been disappearing from the lab too. Reagents that we need no longer being affordable. The lyophilizer broke and was never fixed. The research we do is on drug delivery systems. I was working on self-assembling drugs that could've become active once in target cells. But my lab, like many others, suddenly became starved of resources and funding. The lab, my absolute favorite place in the world, just couldn't sustain as many experiments and students as it once did.

I slowly came to the realization that getting a job wasn't enough for me to stay in the US. Even if I did get a job, the chances of me being laid off unexpectedly were very high, and I'd have to scramble to go back to Brazil. I'd always be low on the priority list of employees to keep. I'm an entry-level scientist and an immigrant from Latin America. Once funding was cut, I'd be first to go. I'm seeing the writing on the wall and it's telling me there's nowhere left in the US for me to be.

Not to mention the constant fear of being detained by ICE for no reason, or not being able to speak up on any social issues because of constant surveillance. If you've noticed me being more silent than usual on certain world issues, it's not because I've lost my beliefs. It's because I've been living in fear of being unfairly persecuted for what I say. There have been raids at elementary school graduations for fuck's sake. I've always been in the US legally with a valid visa, but that's no longer enough to be safe. Simply existing as a Latina is dangerous. I have no family in the US, they're all back in Brazil. I'm alone in this country. If I got snatched off the street, that'd be it for me.

I did everything right. You're always told that if you work hard, go to college, and get a good degree, you'll be fine. Well, I did that. I aced my high school in São Paulo so hard that I was the first person from there to get into UCLA, the #1 public university in the US. I came to UCLA as a biochemistry major, and I stuck through it. Biochem is one of the most dropped majors at UCLA. I got into a research lab, and I'm even winning a commencement award at my graduation this week for excellence in my field. I maintained legal status. No criminal record.

I did everything right, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because I was born in Latin America, and because I wanted to become a scientist in 2025. All I wanted to do was be a biochemist. I always thought that if I didn't get a job, it'd be because there was someone more qualified than me, not because my entire field was getting choked out of existence. Can't say I was expecting that!

So now I'm going to say goodbye to all my friends, sell and donate all my belongings, and go back home with nothing but the same 2 suitcases I brought with me when I left São Paulo 4 years ago. Like many of my professors, grad students, and fellow scientists, I was a casualty of the STEM mass murder of 2025. Forgive me if I'm bitter and angsty for the next few weeks or even months. I hope you can understand. Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far.

Com muito amor e raiva,

Ryan