Uh yes, I was blunt but not that blunt
Saturday 5th November,
I feel off. Â Tired from the day.... and starving. My workshop presentation was âmessyâ, I delivered more information in a less powerful way than I had in the last two workshops. Â Less is more..
I worry about the participant that walked out. Iâm sad I didnât serve him... I knew I could have, I just needed to be clearer, I should have included him more, made the content and examples more applicable to his own situation... I failed.
I went over time and I had to hurry out of the space leaving no opportunity to really talk and connect with the men that attended, leaving no time to check in... Iâd completely two workshops and they had gone so well, my clients have been thriving and Iâve gotten cocky. Â So today was the result of burn out and complacency. Â Iâm a little short and blunt when talking to the attendees later in online communication.
I mean not as blunt as I could have been,...  I could have said âHey, listen, I know what Iâm doing, Iâm really fucking good. ... just book the fucking thing and Iâll sort you outâ ...Uh yes, I was blunt but not that blunt. Â
Ah crap! Â I feel so disappointed and flat about it. Â
I scrounge through my cupboard, I havenât been shopping this week... thats how caught up I have been with work. Â I have neglected myself. Â I find pasta and pasta sauce. Â Dinner.Â
Seth is playing a computer game with a friend in the next room. Â I have no energy. Â I put a plate next to him in the living room and eat on my own whilst sending out emails. Â I lament the lack of nutrition on my plate.
Iâm not providing myself with nutrition... on any level. How can I give when Iâm stressed out and depleted. Â Donât I teach self connection, self care?
I want to talk to Tom, but I donât. Â He said he missed me today. Do.not.believe him. Â Not today. Â His plans sounded way too fun for him to miss me, nah, I donât think so, not today, nope. Maybe the other days he did, not today...Â
Let me tell you something about relationships, if youâre not careful, they kill your social life, yep, they kill it...
Heâs away and I donât even feel like I have any friends.
Well except for the guys that continue to stalk me on Facebook... Hey! Listen! I donât know you, I donât owe you anything, Iâm not a bad person for not responding... Arghhh... my turn to be triggered.