BUT I NEED TO YAP

I have to be up at 6am tomorrow

BUT DAYDREAMING ABOUT MAKING FRNDS WHEN I EVENTUALLY GO TO UNI IS BURNING AT MY BRAIN

I have to be up late tomorrow so I have to sleep now

BUT I NEED TO YAP ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I DID

I have to have 100% social battery tomorrow

BUT MY BODY WANTS TO MOVE MOVE MOVE

I'm sick and need to rest to recover

I'm older now and I can forgive and overlook alot of things my family has put me thru that couldn't a yr ago.

One thing that I've accepted is that my adhd will never be seen as an actual thing that impacts my life and will always be seen as a state of mind

I no longer hate my mom or hold it against her because I understand that's she's old and set in her ways and it's not all she is

However

It does get to me sometimes

The one thing that always makes me so mad

Is when she tells me that my forgetfulness is a choice. That bugs me so much especially because I've tried to explain to her so many times that forgetting isn't fun for me, it costs me so much, if it was a choice I would never forget anything ever. But it's not, and I literally can't help it

And when I tell her I can't help it she's says I'm not trying and I've just accepted it. ... no? I literally have multiple ways of trying to get around my forgetfulness but they don't always work

I have sticky notes, a white board, lists in my notes app, I msg myself, screenshots, dates on my calendar in my phone and my physical one, I try and record as much as I can because I know I'm forgetful

But I can't exactly record every single thing that was said to me or that I have said, it's impossible.

And then she'll say, just do what I do and repeat it to urself over and over until it gets done.

U think I don't do that as well??? If I'm given instructions do u really think I'm not constantly going over it in my head? But it doesn't. Always. Work.

I dont know what else u want me to do really

Alot of my techniques work for most important things like appointments or assignments. But for small things like instructions, it's so much harder and more likely I'll forget smthn or misunderstand smthn (don't even get me started on misunderstandings I could go feral)

And then when I try to tell her that I literally have adhd, it's harder for me, she throws me with, everybody's a little adhd and u can't keep using it as an excuse

ITS NOT AN EXCUSE ITS A REASON

Doesn't matter how irrelevant it seems

If we make plans and u need specific details like what time i wake up, how long itll take me to get there, how it'll take me to get ready, what im wearing, whos going with, etc, just ask me

If ur being asked these questions, just answer

Don't make a big thing out of it, ppl ask questions for a reason and they don't need to explain themselves

And no, there's no hidden meaning behind the questions either, like them not wanting to go with, or not wanting to do the thing, or that they don't like u. Trust me. They just need answers

And don't be afraid to ask questions if u need to. Sometimes, we need a little clarification, and it's ok.