#woodrocket

I used to be addicted to these stupid surveys in high school, and I must be having a midlife crisis because I’m craving one again. I can’t find a ship-survey I like though, so i’m just making my own.

Canon OTP: Pepperony, and Peter/Gamora 

Pepper is the ONLY female who belongs with Tony Stark

Canon Ship you won’t board: ScarletVision. I was able to be a passenger for that ship in “Infinity War,” only for the Mind Stone connection (which wasn’t even explored). Otherwise, no. Wanda belongs with Bucky.

Also, Clint/Larua. I don’t wanna hate on the wife and kids, but damn that twist was just the murder of Clint’s character, and by extent, Natasha’s. 

Non-Canon OTP: StrangeIron. I honestly have been struggling with Pepperony since “Infinity War.” And I literally can’t see Tony and Stephen as platonic. I just can't. 

Also, Peter Parker/Princess Shuri. 

Angst Ship: WinterIron. Though TBH, once they recover from their trauma, I struggle to see them staying together forever. Though it’s sweet to imagine anyway. 

BDSM Ship: FrostIron. I mean yeah there’s IronTitan, but Thanos has nothing on Loki’s glorious foreplay pep talks and theatrics.

Conflicting ships that are tearing you apart! ScarletWinter and StarrBucks. (Or WinterWitch and WinterGhost, if you wanna be boring.) 

Popular Ships you won’t board, but don’t want to sink either: Stucky, Romanogers, WinterFalcon. I don’t dig these ships, but none of them particularly bothers me. 

(No, not even Stucky. I often hate Steve, but Stucky is such an obvious pairing, having any opinion on it would be like having an opinion on Steve’s shield. It just comes with the character.) 

Popular Ship you’ll board if it’s there: Stony. The pairing itself doens’t interest me, but it seems to have all the good tickle fics. 

Popular Ship you wouldn’t board for a while, but have now been shanghaied aboard: Clintasha. I didn’t used to care. But “Endgame” threw into shock how badly both characters have been wronged by the writers, and how natural and obvious their pairing in A1 was. 

Popular ships you want to fire on until they burn and sink:  Starker---unless it’s NOT MCU-Peter. If you’re shipping the two hot dadbod mentors from MCU and “Into the Spider-Verse,” or “Satan’s Alley,” then fine, but find another name for it.

Also, IronWitch. NO. I desperately want Tony and Wanda to have meaningful interactions, but NOT LIKE THAT. I don’t want either of those poor BBs subjected to a “Ghost World” plot. Blech. 

Ships you’re building yourself: GalagaHart. 

The pairing of Galaga Guy and Christine Everhart. 

They’re such perfect opposites in terms of work ethic, and how important their actual jobs are. You have a run-of-the-mill gossip journalist who takes her job so viciously seriously she’ll frak a celebrity she hates to get info, and then you have a guy who works for goddamn SHIELD who callously plays video games while Nick Fury is showing the Avengers around the main deck of the hellicarier for the first time. 

Favorite Crack Ship: WoodRocket. 

If Groot/Rocket counts as a crack ship anyway. I just think it’s hilarious that WoodRocket is the name of an adult film company. 

“... ‘Gnardians of the Galaxy?’ ....Who made a porno of us?” 

“See, THAT’s the funny part. It was produced by a company called....wait for it...”

“BWAAHAHAHA! Our porno was produced by a company whose name sounds like a fanfic ship between Rocket and Groot! You two must be so embarrassed!”

“What’s embarassing about that? That’s an AWESOME name for a ship! Screw whatever this bucket of bolts was called before. Starting now, we are sailing aboard the S.S. WoodRocket!” 

“I am Groot.” 

“Sorry, the U.S.S. WoodRocket.” 

“Rocket listen, I don’t think you know what ‘ship’ means in this context.” 

“Too late. Groot’s painting it on the hull as we speak.”