#wonpil au

Being with you Is a bittersweet pleasure What I keep remembering is A state of lingering attachment One day, one second If the afterimage fades away Might finally be able to see clearly How nice This world could be for me My brain excludes you How much would it be worth Get the hell out Get the hell out

After a couple of hours, you were more emotionally drained than you'd ever been (which was saying something), but you had a job interview and a place to stay lined up. So, that was something! You had also set up another appointment with the counselor tomorrow to start working through your trauma; you weren't particularly looking forward to it, but you also couldn't wait to just get this horrific person the hell out of your mind.

You gathered up all of the paperwork and pamphlets the counselor had provided, saying the name of the apartment building in your head over and over so you wouldn't forget. Apparently, it was fairly close to the Community Center since they had a partnership with the building owner to allow people in situations like yours a place to get back on their feet, so even if you did forget the name, it should be easy to find.

But still. You didn't want to forget. Today felt like your first day as a real adult, totally on your own. Independent. You didn't want to screw it up! So, you murmured the name to yourself, clutching all of your documents to your chest as you left your counselor's office and headed back to the front doors.

You had barely stepped into the hallway before you collided with someone passing by.

Oof!

"Oh, I'm so sorry," you heard a voice say, though it barely registered because all the papers in your hands had slipped out and fallen to the floor.

You immediately crouched down to try and pick them up, frantically saying the name of the apartment building so you wouldn't forget it amidst all of this hubbub.

Another pair of hands came into view, helping you pick up the papers, and you glanced up to place a face to them -- and the voice you'd heard, presumably.

Your head jerked back slightly in surprise.

"Wonpil?" you asked.

Wonpil jumped a little, his gaze immediately darting to meet yours. As soon as he saw you, that signature wide smile appeared on his lips.

"Y/N," he greeted, his voice soft and warm.

It had been... how many years since you'd seen him? You'd lost track of how long it had been since graduating high school. And it's not like you and Wonpil had been close friends, but his smile and his voice and his kindhearted aura hadn't changed a bit.

"What a small world," you chuckled. "What are you doing here?"

Wonpil continued to gather up all of your papers as he answered. "I work here. What about you? Did you just get hired?"

Ah, so he obviously assumed all this paperwork was New Employee Paperwork. Well, at least you knew he wasn't being nosy and looking at it!

"No..." you replied slowly.

Wonpil didn't reply at first, and when the two of you had picked up everything, you both stood, and he handed you a stack of papers.

"I'm sorry," he said, his forehead wrinkled. "Do you need anything?"

Like almost any other person would, you almost said 'No, thank you.' It was one thing to share your innermost thoughts and feelings to a total stranger, but it was another thing altogether to share them with someone you actually knew.

But, for some reason you couldn't explain, you answered him with a nod. Your throat began to tighten with emotion, and tears welled up in your eyes when you said, "Actually, yeah. I need a lot."

Something about Wonpil just exuded safety, and even though you weren't even sure you could classify him as an acquaintance after all these years, a quiet voice in your head urged you to be honest with him.

"Okay," Wonpil replied, his voice still soft but more strong and sure. "Do you want to go get a coffee or something?"

"I -- I need to go to this apartment building," you stammered.

"I know the one, I can take you there if you'd like," he offered.

You answered with a strained "Sure" before following him out of the Community Center and onto the street.

The next half hour was a bit of a blur, and you ended up being extremely thankful that you'd run into Wonpil. He obviously had a lot of experience with this, because he greeted the employee behind the front desk of the apartment's leasing office by name. And when you weren't sure which of the many papers in your hands you needed to hand over, Wonpil delicately took the stack from you and rifled through it to find the right one.

You also noticed something that seemed insignificant on the surface but, in reality, was extremely important: Wonpil was extremely aware of you without being overbearing. He didn't touch you or even reach out toward you. He stood just close enough to signal he was with you but not too close to make you nervous. And when the employee offered to lead you to your apartment, Wonpil wordlessly raised his eyebrows at you to ask if you wanted him to come with you.

(You nodded, of course. Wonpil was probably the only person you felt safe around at the moment.)

You weren't exactly sure what Wonpil's role was at the Community Center, but whatever it was, you could tell he was perfect for the job.

After you received the key, Wonpil (who was still out in the hallway even after you opened the door and stepped inside) said, "I'm actually on the floor above, so if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Wait," you said as you dumped your papers on the kitchen counter. "You live here?"

Wonpil's cheeks turned a bit pink. "I moved here after I started working at the Center. I'm... actually the one who started the partnership with the building owner."

That almost made you want to cry.

Obviously, you had put up a huge wall and didn't know if you would be able to trust anyone ever again. But if anyone could do it, you had a feeling deep down it would be Wonpil.

Time, hurry up and run fast Until you become a speckle far away You're still so clear in my mind Ruining my day every day How nice This world could be for me My brain excludes you How much would it be worth Will you get out of Inside my mind I don't want to live Like something's holding me back

6 Months Later

A wave of sadness and frustration washed over you as you stared at the ceiling, just barely stopping yourself from checking the time on your phone.

The last time you'd looked, it had been just after 2am; honestly, you weren't sure you even wanted to know what time it was now.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first night you hadn't been able to sleep this week.

While your counselor at the Community Center had helped you get a job and an apartment incredibly quickly, they hadn't yet been able to get rid of your negative thoughts. Your abusive ex was still floating around in your brain, throwing the usual emotionally manipulative and critical words at you.

Tears pricked your eyes as those words got louder and louder inside your head. They were mostly tears of anger because it had been six months! How long was it going to take to erase him from your life?!

As soon as the sun came up a few hours later, you changed into the first clean pair of sweats you could find and headed to the coffee shop across the street. After getting maybe one hour of sleep all night, you needed to consume some caffeine before you could do anything else.

By now, the morning shift employees at the coffee shop knew you, and the incredibly kind person behind the counter began making your order as soon as you walked in.

"Iced vanilla latte with oat milk," they said after you paid at the register, handing you the cup. "And an Americano."

"Thank you, Alex," you grinned as you took both drinks.

As you walked back to your apartment building, you started listing out everything good and beautiful about your life, a tactic your counselor had suggested a few months ago when you'd been feeling particularly anxious.

"I have a job," you began, muttering to yourself. "I have a place to live. I have food in my fridge. I have an iced vanilla latte in my hand."

You took a sip of said latte, feeling a grin curving your lips.

"The sky is a beautiful shade of blue and orange. If there were trees around, I would hear birds chirping. I guess I could pretend the honking traffic and sirens are birds."

You continued your list as you arrived back home and headed for the staircase, reminding yourself that you were physically healthy enough to walk up three flights of stairs, financially stable enough to afford daily visits to the coffee shop, and maybe most importantly, you had the day off today.

Honestly, why hadn't you thought of that earlier? Knowing that you didn't have to go to work today instantly calmed your nerves about barely getting any sleep -- it didn't matter because you had nothing to do today! So, by the time you arrived on the third floor, you were grinning from ear to ear and feeling light and fluffy inside.

Speaking of light and fluffy, there was one more thing you were grateful for that you needed to add to your list.

Before you could, though, the apartment door you were heading toward opened.

You held out the Americano, your smile brightening as Wonpil looked up and realized you were there.

"Good morning," you greeted cheerfully.

"Morning," Wonpil replied, his voice a bit shy, as he took the drink from you. "Thanks for the coffee, and I really mean that, but what's up?"

"What do you mean what's up?" you chuckled. The two of you started walking back to the staircase; you knew Wonpil was on his way to work, and since it was just around the corner and you had nothing else to do, you figured you would walk with him.

"Isn't it your day off?" he asked in between sips of his Americano. "Why are you up so early, and why did you bring me coffee?"

You'd been friends with Wonpil for 6 months now and had known him much longer than that -- you knew he wasn't asking in a suspicious way. He just wasn't that kind of person. He was, without a doubt, the kindest, sweetest soul you'd ever known.

"It is, indeed, my day off," you answered. "But I couldn't sleep."

Wonpil simply hummed and nodded. He knew exactly what that meant by now.

"Are you... okay?" he asked quietly.

It took you a few seconds to swallow down the lump of emotion in your throat, and then you answered, "No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

During the first month or two of your friendship with Wonpil, it had been a bit difficult to navigate the difference between Counselor Wonpil and Friend Wonpil. Honestly, you'd felt awkward talking to him about your past because you hadn't wanted him to think you were taking of advantage of him and just trying to get a free therapy session.

Thankfully, Wonpil had caught on to your hesitancy pretty quickly. He'd invited you out for coffee one morning and had assured you all he wanted was to be your friend and to help you, not in a professional sense. He'd become a counselor in the first place because he loved helping people, and that extended to people in his personal life, too. He had also told you it was absolutely fine if you still didn't feel comfortable confiding in him, and that had been the deciding factor for you. The minute he gave you the power to decide was when you knew you could trust him -- at least with this. (You weren't sure you would ever be able to fully, completely, implicitly trust anyone ever again...).

"I just feel like I'm making no progress," you admitted as you fiddled with your straw and watched your shoes. "It's been half a year since I left, but I still think about him all the time. Some of the things he said to me, I can still hear them in my head, clear as day. All I want is to forget about him, and I thought that would've happened by now."

Wonpil walked just a little bit closer to you. He didn't touch you because he never touched you unless you initiated it. He'd also never said anything out loud about why he did that, but you figured he simply understood how your previous relationship had affected you. And you appreciated it more than you could ever put into words.

"Six months is not that long when you really think about it," he assured you. "It's okay that you still think about him. It's completely normal, honestly, and you also have to be prepared that you'll always think about him in some capacity. I know you want to erase him from your memory, but.... I don't know if that's possible."

You let out a whiny groan, feeling tears stinging the backs of your eyes. "But I don't want to always think about him!" you lamented. "I want to live my own life and just be... be free!"

You could see the Community Center up ahead, and Wonpil began to slow his steps, eventually stopping at the corner of the building.

"You already are free," he told you as he turned to face you. "And I'm pretty sure that if you saw him again, you wouldn't go back to him."

"Of course not," you replied immediately.

"See? He doesn't have that kind of hold on you, at least. And that's something! You have made progress, you just can't see it because it's happening so gradually. But I promise you that you have."

Thankfully, a loud ambulance passed by then, giving you time to gather your thoughts and rein in your tears. (You had certainly cried in front of Wonpil before, but you still weren't fully comfortable being that vulnerable around someone yet.)

As soon as the quiet settled over you, you lifted your head to meet his gaze. "Thank you," you said simply, your voice just barely above a whisper.

You still weren't sure if you believed him, but you knew him pretty well at this point; he wouldn't lie to you about something like this.

Wonpil replied with a wide, sunny grin, one that made your heart ache in a good way. And because you knew he wouldn't, you stepped up and wrapped your arms around him.

He wasted no time in hugging you back, his arms firm and comforting, the sweet and fresh scent of his cologne invading your senses and instantly calming you down.

"Call me if you need me, okay?" he murmured into your ear.

You nodded, and he squeezed you before letting go and stepping away.

"Have a good day," you told him with a watery grin.

As he turned to walk into the Community Center, you felt a very strong urge to reach out and take his hand, to stop him from leaving.

And it was then you realized... you didn't ever want him to leave.

How nice This world could be for me My brain excludes you How much would it be worth Get the hell out Get the hell out

You'd been sitting on your feelings for almost a whole month now, and the only explanation you had for that was because you were scared.

In your head, you knew that Wonpil was different. He was not your ex by any stretch of the imagination. They were probably as different as two people could be. Wonpil would never, ever, ever in a million years say and do the things that your ex had said and done to you. He was a perfect and amazing friend, so if he miraculously returned your feelings, you knew he would be a perfect and amazing boyfriend.

But your heart was still at war with your head, and it wouldn't let you believe anything it said.

You'd lost track of how many times you'd decided to tell him and then changed your mind just minutes later.

But then one day he showed up at your door, holding up a blue shirt.

"I need your help," he frowned as soon as you swung the door open.

"Okay, I'm all ears," you replied, actually feeling your heart swell. For once, he needed your help!

"Which shirt looks better?" He gestured to the light pink button-down he was currently wearing before moving his other arm and displaying the blue crewneck sweater.

"Definitely the pink," you answered without hesitation. "Why? What's the occasion?"

Wonpil's cheeks flushed, and he didn't quite meet your eye when he said, "I'm going on a date."

You couldn't stop your eyebrows quickly darting up or your eyes widening with surprise.

"...A date?"

"Yeah," Wonpil replied, pressing his lips together nervously. "Dowoon set me up with his neighbor, so we're going over to the food trucks for dinner."

Oh.

A date.

Wonpil was going on a date.

With someone who was not you.

Of course, you couldn't blame him. He had no idea how you felt, and even if he did, he may not feel the same way. Or he may not want to date someone with as much trauma as you.

"Ah... cool," you managed to get out, hoping there was a smile on your lips. "Sounds fun."

Wonpil tilted his head, his brow wrinkling. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah!" you chirped, but even you could hear that your voice was too high and too squeaky, and you had absolutely answered too quickly.

"...Are you sure?"

You didn't want to risk replying with a blatantly false answer, so you simply nodded.

"If there's something on your mind, you know you can tell me," Wonpil assured you gently. "Are you... scared you'll never go on a date again? I promise you will, if that's what you want. It may take some time -- longer than you think, but I know --"

The words which had been festering in your mind for a month suddenly came to life, hurling themselves out of your mouth before you could stop them. "I like you."

Wonpil immediately froze.

"I'm sorry, this is terrible timing," you admitted, barely able to meet his gaze. "But I like you, and I'm just... I don't want you to go on a date with someone else, but I also fully understand if you don't feel the same way."

"I do."

Your eyes darted to his face, and you wondered if maybe you'd just imagined him saying that.

"You what?" you asked dumbly.

"I do," he repeated. "I do feel the same way. But I know how difficult things have been for you, and I had no idea if you would be ready for something. I was going to wait for you, but Dowoon said..."

He trailed off, and the sound of your pounding heart filled the silence for a few seconds.

"I should have learned by now to stop listening to Dowoon," Wonpil finally said with a soft chuckle.

You wanted to laugh with him, but you knew this wasn't just going to be a 'And they lived happily ever after' moment.

"But the thing is, I don't know if I'm ready. I realized, like, a month ago that I liked you as more than a friend, but I haven't said anything because... I'm too scared."

Wonpil took a tiny step closer, and it was then you realized you were still standing in your open doorway.

You ushered him inside, closing the door behind him and taking his blue sweater, folding it delicately over a chair at your kitchen table.

When you turned around, Wonpil was standing as he always was -- close but not too close.

"It's okay to be scared," he assured you. "And I understand why you feel that way. You don't have to, but... could you tell me what exactly you're scared of?"

You took a deep, shaky breath, letting it out slowly through your mouth the way you'd learned in your therapy sessions. This was going to be difficult, but you wanted to do it. Wonpil was worth it.

"I'm scared of being vulnerable like that again. I'm scared of trusting someone so fully only to get that trust handed back to me in shreds. I'm scared that I'll never fully heal from what happened to me. I'm scared that he will always take up a part of my mind and that you'll eventually come to resent me for it. I'm scared that if I do ever let myself be with you... I'll just lose you."

Of course, tears began streaming down your cheeks as you said all of that, and you saw Wonpil's fingers twitching, as if he wanted nothing more than to reach out and cradle your face, wipe your tears away.

One part of you didn't want to be touched right now, but another part needed to feel his warmth so badly, you thought you might collapse if you didn't.

So, you reached out and took his wrist, bringing his hand up to your face and placing his palm on your cheek.

He instantly curved his hand, his fingers gently grasping your jaw and neck while his thumb swiped just underneath your eye.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he whispered. "I know how long it can take to heal. We can take things slowly."

"But what if it takes --"

"I'll wait."

Your vision blurred as you gazed at him, your cheek hot where he cradled it.

"I'll wait," he repeated. "However long you need. I'll wait for you. I promise."

"What if I never heal?" you croaked, your voice so tiny that you were surprised he even heard you.

"I like you just as you are. I know that you can heal -- that you will get through this -- but even if you don't, then all that means is you'll stay the person you are right now. And that's the person I fell for."

"What if --"

"My feelings won't change," he interrupted, obviously guessing that you'd been about to ask 'What if I get better and change too much and you don't like the person I become?' "I know it's hard for you to trust, but if you can let yourself trust just one thing, let it be that. My feelings for you won't change."

You took another few deep breaths before stepping up to him and winding your arms around his neck.

After he circled your waist, his hands gripping you tightly, he said, "We'll take it one day at a time, okay?"

At first, you simply nodded. But then, you remembered something kind of important.

So, you pulled away from him just enough to be able to see his face, and you asked, "Starting today?"

Wonpil's brow furrowed at your question. "Starting today? What do you mean?"

"You said we'll take it one day at a time. Is that starting today? Or do we have to start tomorrow so you can go on your date?"

It was taking every ounce of strength not to laugh, but then Wonpil's expression very swiftly turned to one of slight horror and major embarrassment. He looked so cute that you couldn't hold back any longer. You pulled him back into a hug and chuckled, feeling your heart starting to glow inside your chest.

Still, he smiled warmly. “The silly season.”

“Summer. It’s thirty degrees outside right now!” you complained, pointing to your cotton dress and then out the window.

Attempting to placate you, Wonpil crouched down in front of you. “You love Christmas, though.”

“I do. But I hate how it is always marketed as cosying up by the fire with hot cocoa, wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, building snowmen and all the other winter activities. Sure, in the Northern Hemisphere, they can do all that. Christmas is heavily marketed to suit that climate, given Santa comes from the North Pole himself! It’s drives me nuts as it’s not like that at all here in the middle of December.”

“I think you’re placing too much energy into this.”

“I probably am,” you confessed with a small pout. “I just wish for one year that Christmas for us could be celebrated in the depths of winter. Right here. I don’t want to travel anywhere just to get the experience. Wouldn’t that be neat?”

“Well, that’s why Christmas in July is a thing.”

You snorted. “Christmas in July is an excuse for work and family gatherings or winter sales. It doesn’t really hold the spirit of Christmas, does it? We don’t decorate our homes then. We do it in the heat of December, fake snow trim around the tree and all.”

Wonpil was a little stunned, admittedly.

He had always loved the Christmas season with you, regardless that it was in summer. Sometimes, he did wish for the summer heat to be less merciless on the day. Otherwise, he spent the twenty-fifth in the same way he would in any season – with you and your loved ones.

Over the next few weeks leading up to Christmas, your gripe over the winter focused marketing stood out more to Wonpil. When he went to the mall for some final gifts, he noticed just how wintry everything was decorated. The contrast was evident, people walked by in light clothing and sandals, whilst Santa was dressed thickly from head to toe in the Winter Wonderland booth. Reindeer, fake snow, and other assorted detailing were within most stores, something he hadn’t paid much attention to before. One store even was using the slogan, ‘Let it Snow!’ for their sale.

There was always something referring to Christmas in the traditional sense.

It started to irk Wonpil too. Of course, he had seen all the summer décor too. Santa on the beach, cooking on a BBQ, drinking a cold beer instead of milk – which in its own right had poor imagery to paint the big man in red as drinking on the job. Either way, your admission had made this Christmas eye-opening for Wonpil.

“Did I put a damper on your Christmas spirit?” you wondered on Christmas Eve, and Wonpil sighed.

“Not really. I just never saw it that way until now. Did you know? I went to get craft paper for my nieces to create Christmas cards with, and the decorative paper pack was all winter-related. Ice skating, winter wreaths, sayings like feeling frosty or there’s snow place I’d rather be.”

You giggled, snuggling into Wonpil. “It’s so cheesy.”

“Sure, the girls didn’t care. They were already drawing snowmen. But I did feel a little annoyed. Why can’t we have a white Christmas too?”

“Right?!” you agreed earnestly before sighing. “It would take a miracle for us to wake up to snow on the ground tomorrow.”

Of course, it didn’t snow. The weather was a favourable twenty-four degrees Celsius with light winds, a perfect summer Christmas. Family gathered around the backyard, ate grilled meats and salads, and a portable pool had been erected for the kids to have fun. It was as typical as Christmas could get in summer.

It left Wonpil unsatisfied. As he laid in bed that evening, full from the good company and food, he wondered why there was a nagging thought still in his mind now that Christmas had passed.

Slowly, he began to smile. “But there’s always next year.”

On the first of July, Wonpil had come home from work earlier than usual, knowing you would still be out for another two hours. He dashed into the garage to where you stored the Christmas decorations, tugging the large bin out and into the house.

And he set to work.

He was almost done with the tree when you walked in from work, stopping midway in greeting him fondly. “What the…”

“Hear me out. What season is it outside right now?” he asked, and you shot him a knowing smile. “Winter, right?”

“You’re not humouring me, are you?”

“It’s not just for you. I want a proper white Christmas too! It’s freezing outside today. Do you want hot cocoa by the fire tonight?”

Walking over to his side, you wrapped your arms around Wonpil’s waist. “I can’t—actually, I can believe you’ve done this. Because you make all my wishes come true.”

“It’s only the first right now, Y/N. We have twenty-four more days until the big day to make wishes come true.”

“What are we doing on the twenty-fifth?” you wondered, and Wonpil grinned.

“It’ll be Christmas day then!”

“I better start thinking about what to get you for this year then,” you mused, kissing him tenderly, looking back at the tree. “Oh! You haven’t put the star on the top yet.”

“I left that for you.”

“Whatever I did in a past life to get you in this one is totally paying off now,” you said with a bright smile, climbing onto the step ladder and popping the star on the top of the tree.

Wonpil was satisfied with his efforts so far. The month had been full of all the winter activities they sang about in carols – even listening to wintry Christmas music had been ticked off your Christmas wishlist. You had consumed copious amounts of hot cocoa, and even gone to the ice-skating rink together the day before, which had been a first and last for you both.

“I think I’m going to be bringing in this year’s Christmas with a very sore bottom,” you lamented, rubbing your hip gently.

Wonpil chuckled. “At least we know we’re not missing out there.”

“The past twenty-four days have been amazing though, Pil,” you replied, capturing his face in one of your hands. “I’ve never felt this alive before. It really goes to show, it doesn’t matter what month you celebrate Christmas. Whether it’s hot or cold outside. It’s about the people around you bringing the Christmas spirit alive.”

“We’re lucky we have great family and friends who humoured us over our Christmas in July festivities too. I can’t believe we’re hosting tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me of all the cooking I’m going to do yet,” you warned playfully before snuggling into him. “Did you know Jae and Becky put up their tree too?”

“Becky loves Christmas as much as you do, so I’m not surprised.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Wonpil asked, nuzzling your nose. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

“Yes, there is. You could have completely forgotten about my annoyance last December, and we could have spent this month doing everything in our power to stay indoors when we didn’t have to go out as we always do. I got to experience so many new things at your side this winter.”

Wonpil leaned in to kiss you softly before smiling. “I’m your partner. I might not have Santa level powers to make it snow in summer—”

“That’s on Mother Nature, not Santa,” you cut in, and Wonpil rolled his eyes.

“But I do have the ability to try and make you smile every day.”

“Which I have done more than enough too.”

Smiling at one another, Wonpil then let out a small breath and pointed to the tree. “It’s Christmas Eve! We have one more thing to do before we get ready for bed tonight.”

“Exchange one present before going to bed,” you announced, darting over to the tree and selecting the present you wanted to give to him.

Wonpil watched your animated actions before following you over, bending down to pick up the smallest box under the tree.

“You go first. No, I will. No, wait—Wonpil, why are you still on the ground?”

“I’ll go first,” he stated, cracking open the lid to the box he held. “I want to experience more magic at your side, Y/N. Will you marry me this Christmas?”

“Oh, my goodness,” you whispered, nodding emotionally. “Yes. Yes!”

He slid the ring onto your finger, getting up and kissed you passionately.

Until you realised you hadn’t given him your gift. “This will pale in comparison now!”

“No, it won’t. Because this is our Christmas, and I’m in love with you,” he confirmed, kissing you again.

All it took was one card to change how he viewed something in his world. Wonpil couldn’t wait to discover how else you could make this life together different.

_________________

Next: A Christmas To Remember

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

Day 1

“Quick, we don’t have any time to waste,” Young K instructed as he and Dowoon lifted the stretcher onto the wheeled frame and began to run with Jae and Sungjin joining them. “Wonpil, have you opened up the surgery yet?” They ran down the long hallway as they waited for a response from Wonpil through the walkie-talkie.

“Surgery five,” Wonpil replied. Sungjin held the clipboard full of the injuries the girl had received and read them out loud. Most, if not all, life threatening. She would be lucky to make it out of this alive. Each of them thought about giving up, the list just kept going. She was the worst in the car accident that had happened on the other side of the city.

They couldn’t give up. If they could save her, it would be a miracle. A miracle that they needed at this time of their lives.

The boys ran her into the surgery room with Wonpil and the surgeon waiting. He would be lying if he said she wasn’t the worst she had ever seen. A leg at an odd angle, a scratch right across her face, a few teeth missing and a broken nose. If these were just the external damages, just imagine the internal damages.

Wonpil searched for any more broken bones, when he reached her hands, he just about dropped them. It couldn’t be true; his eyes must have been deceiving him. But it was there, clear as day. He went to run out of the room but Sungjin stopped him.

Wonpil kept shaking his head over and over again. Tears filled his eyes.

“Do you know her?” Sungjin asked. Wonpil shook his head again. “Then what are you doing? We need a nurse in the room.”

“I don’t know her,” Wonpil said. “But she is my soulmate.” He held up his hand, showing his tattoo to Sungjin, who subconsciously looked at the girl’s hand, who, indeed, had the exact same tattoo. Sungjin cursed and took Wonpil out of the room. He called for another nurse in the hallway to take over.

“We will – hey look at me,” Sungjin sat next to Wonpil on the bench. Wonpil lifted his head. “We will save her, trust me. She will be okay. We will do this for you.” He didn’t say anything else. Sungjin ran back into the surgery room.

Day 7

He sat next to her bed and held her hand. The one with their shared tattoo on it. She breathed steadily with the help of an oxygen mask. The surgery was a success, the miracle they asked for. But now, she was in a coma. Minimum 2 weeks, maximum 2 months. The heart monitor beeped steadily confirming her life, but that was all white noise to Wonpil at this point. What reassured him of her life was the tattoo that remained on his finger.

He didn’t know anything about her. Not even her name. Wonpil refused to read over her patient details. It hurts a lot more losing someone when you know their name.

His close friends at the hospital came to check up on them in their free time. It was rare but it happened. They hated seeing him this upset, Wonpil was always the mood maker at the hospital. Always smiling and encouraging everyone that they would do well. He was the positive energy the hospital needed but now they’ve lost that.

Everyone prayed that she would wake up from her coma, for Wonpil’s sake. He deserved as much happiness as he gave them.

Day 19

The longer she stayed in that coma, the less hopeful Wonpil had gotten. Her working muscles would weaken from lack of use, if she didn’t wake up now, she would have to go through many months maybe even years worth of physiotherapy. She would be starting from the beginning, everything in her life would be reset. It’s horrible. Going through so many years of your life just to have it be reset. All achievements, worthless. All qualifications, pointless. And if she stayed in a coma for even longer than that, it may be a case of not being able to move independently anymore.

No one would know how extreme her brain damage was until she woke up. If she woke up.

Wonpil prayed to whatever God there was that she would wake up soon.

Day 21

Wonpil was asleep by her side, it was just another one of those days. He would wake up, feed her liquified food and give her water while she was in her coma. That was all he could manage to do at this point, but he wondered if it was even worth it at this point.

He saw that she was getting dangerously thin over the past 2 days. Her wrists had practically become bone, when he changed her bandages, he could see all of her ribs. Unhealthily thin.

It was after he had changed her bandages that day was when he felt it. He may have been holding her hand but he swore he felt her stir awake. Wonpil sat up properly just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Sure enough, he watched her face intensely and saw her eyebrow twitch. He called for Sungjin and watched her as her eyes scrunched and then opened.

Though they were groggy, he had never seen such beautiful eyes in his life. She looked at him with confusion written all over her face. The white noise began to quicken but, of course, Wonpil didn’t notice. She was awake and excitement got the better of him.

“Who are you?” She asked weakly. She wanted to push the stranger away but she couldn’t. He wasn’t wearing any hospital scrubs, this was definitely some weirdo in her eyes.

Wonpil was slightly hurt from her statement, but he remembered, she was the one that was asleep for the entire time. Only one recognised the other.

“I’m a nurse here,” he reassured her, showed her his badge just for extra proof. But once again, his excitement got the better of him. “And I’m also your soulmate.” He showed her his hand; the heart tattoo was something she recognised.

“Soul…mate?” Her words faded as her eyes closed again. Wonpil’s smile started to disappear. He chanted ‘no’ again and again, trying to shake her awake. Sungjin came running into the room, the flat beep filled the air and he ran over to the girl.

Wonpil couldn’t believe what he had done. He should have known how weak she would have been, how easily she could have been shocked in that state. But that was what he had done.

Wonpil had unintentionally killed his soulmate with shock. The one thing worse about losing someone without a name, was being given the chance to get to know them, only to have it ripped away from you within seconds.