IT'S TIME FOR MR TORGUE'S RECIPE CORNER
TODAY'S RECIPE: MOOSE STEAKS
AND WE'RE PUTTING BULLET POINTS ON THIS BECAUSE F*CK COUNTING
FIND A MOOSE AND SCREAM AT IT UNTIL IT DIES OF FRIGHT. MOOSE ARE NOT SCARED OF SH*T SO THIS WILL TAKE SEVERAL HOURS.
THROW THE MOOSE CORPSE OVER YOUR SHOULDERS AND CARRY IT BACK TO CAMP. BE SURE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE DELICATE-ASS MAJESTY OF NATURE'S BEAUTY. IT IS AWE INSPIRING
SET MOOSE CORPSE ON PILE OF KINDLING. MAKE SURE THAT THE BODY IS SPREAD EVENLY, WITH NOTHING UNEXPOSED OR FOLDED ONTO ITSELF.
ENSURE THAT KINDLING IS SUFFICIENT TO LAY UNDER MOOSE'S BODY, WITH NO PARTS LAYING ON THE DIRT.
ADD SEASONS LIBERALLY. YOU MAY BE ASKING ME, "MR TORGUE, WHAT TYPE OF SEASONINGS SHOULD I APPLY?". ANSWER: BUCKETS FULL
GRAB A MATCH, LIGHT A HANDFUL OF GRENADES, AND THROW THEM AT MOOSE
THANK YOU FOR JOINING MR TORGUE'S RECIPE CORNER. JOIN ME NEXT TIME, WHEN I SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FIVE COURSE MEAL USING NOTHING BUT A FOOD DELIVERY APP AND CRUSHING AMOUNTS OF DEBT