#wolf mine

Rhodochrosite

That’s a rather big question!  But, I also know that my blog is a lot to go through since I’ve had it for a few years now. :)  

I think the short answer is: I don’t have the best mental health.  I came to really relate to the Wolf and to Tyr when I began to try to figure out how to deal with my emotions and self-harm.  I have found their tale helpful in considering and attempting recovery.  I’ve also found the Wolf helpful in learning to acknowledge thoughts and emotions I’d rather not face.

Since your question is broad, it seems like a good time to pull together the more explanatory of my Wolf posts into one convenient place.  If you want more information, please ask another question!  Hopefully these are of use to you. 

My tag The Wolf mostly contains my personal ramblings and a few quotes and photos.

What led me to the Wolf?

Why I honor Tyr and Fenrir

How can you honor Tyr AND the Wolf?  More on that balance here.

How did I start honoring the Wolf?

How I began to honor/approach the Wolf

One of the main ways I honor the Wolf is by allowing myself to feel an emotion without acting upon it.

How to approach the Wolf?  Is it Safe? 

Is the Wolf capable of positive emotions? 

How can I honor such a destructive deity?

How I understand and relate to the Wolf

How the Wolf appears to me

Some things I associate with the Wolf (in prose)

Do you think the Wolf is Materialistic?

You’re not Evil, but you’re not my Protector either.  There are people who find you supportive, but right now I don’t know if that’s ever been true.  I thought you helped, but maybe it’s only ever felt that way -- felt like flying while I was plummeting towards the rocks; felt like kindness when you sat with me in the darkness.  But can I really thank the one who handed me a shovel when I hit rock bottom?  Can I really thank the one who took bad and made it worse?

But... I do thank you.  As much as it hurts, you were there for me in the deep-fog of loneliness.  You were there for me on pitch-black nights, sitting beside me with sword-sharp teeth and paper-cut fur.  Just because I came away bloodied, it doesn’t erase the fact that you listened.  That you waited.  That you understood my rage and loneliness and regret.  

Ours has never been a simple relationship.  I’m not really sure what to make of it even now.  I know Tyr bound you for a reason.  I know I must be my own Tyr, binding back the parts of me that sees a hole and keeps digging, the parts that snarl and rage and bite every hand that’s ever fed me.  But just because you must be bound, it doesn’t mean I don’t also love you.  

but that was the last thing on my mind, Wolf. darkness always makes me think of you. how can something so familiar scare me?