[ice]
some days, it feels distant to be a part of this world, to be a part of an ever flowing magic that works behind the scenes for no one to see but only wonder about. some days, it feels as though real magic is a fairytale away, a part of a land far far away from what he knows. some days, it feels as though magic isn’t a part of him, not the kind that he learns in school anyways. most days, he feels the magic on the ice, where he feels freer than a bird flying through the vast sky.
unlike many of his friends, sicheng doesn’t feel the parting ache in his fingertips when he sets his wand down, tucking it away into his locker before he makes his way to the rink. he doesn’t feel a worry seep into the layers of skin, nor does the fear of being unarmed settle into his bones as he walks further and further away from what is supposed to be an extension of himself. he never has felt those things.
but the feelings his friends and family describe to him are familiar - its what he feels when he’s been off the ice for too long, when he starts to forget the feeling of his blades gliding on ice, and the slightest wind pass him as he rounds the ice at high speeds right before a jump. so he can relate, just not entirely the same.
sometimes, late at night when he’s closed his eyes and see the reflection of ice behind in the darkness, or for a split second before his skates hit the ice for the first time in a while, sicheng wonders if he truly belongs in the wizarding world, if being a part of this school, this lifestyle, this population, if it’s really for him. sometimes, he feels as though he’s not a real wizard, that maybe he’s living on borrowed magic.
because the only time he truly feels magical is when he skates across newly smoothened ice, or right after he’s landed a quad, or when his blood thumps to the beat of his routine’s song. it’s in those moments he truly feels like himself, like he’s everything he’s supposed to be. maybe that’s why he’s so drawn to the ice, to the beauty and hard work, to the pain and thrill and challenge, to a lifestyle where he doesn’t have to rely on a flick of a wand that feel like a part of him.












