#wittyrogue

     “You’re mean.”

The complaint is perhaps somewhat diminished by the fact that she is delivering it from the floor. The floor, where she is crumpled while the effects of the mushroom that she has been fed ravage her consciousness, twisting every object, color, and texture around her into a rollercoaster of horrific visions. Even when she closes her eyes she– well. She can’t exactly tell whether her eyes are closed or not, if she’s being entirely honest. 

     “I am going to die,” she says, either immediately after she has whined that he is mean or perhaps four hours later.

She does not know. 

He drags her up with a hand on the back of her neck, and puts a cup to her trembling lips. He tips the liquid in, and she swallows. The liquid is terrible. Gritty, somehow. And all the wrong mixture of hot and cold, somehow. 

     “Bleh,” she expresses in earnest.

She feels his fingers through her hair, and her head feels like an anchor that he’s dragging above the water so she can breathe. She puts her face against his neck, and the smell of his skin and the sweat that beads there keeps her from tilting into darkness. 

     “If you were not a Grey Warden, that meal would have killed you,” he tells her matter-of-factly as she slowly sobers up there on his shoulder. “You cannot simply dine with every strange man in Antiva.”

     “I was hungry,” she laments. 

     “And now?” he hums.

     “Still hungry,” she confirms. "And blurry."

He laughs. 

     “Rest,” he bids. “And in the morning I will give you a feast.”

Manfred practically wiggled in his seat, jaw dropping wide on its hinge in acknowledgement and answer to the grin, as he lacked the facial muscles to imitate the action.  Zevran, with his fun, pointy ears (a feature Manfred also lacked) always had the best ideas, though they often made Emmrich's face scrunch in the way that meant disapproval.

Manfred couldn't possibly see why - as far as he was concerned Zevran was a genius!

Present!  The word hissed out of him as something closer to a deep gurgle, but it was an enthusiastic sound, which, as Emmrich had said many, many times, it was the thought that mattered.  It even usually coincided with him receiving a present of his own!  A moment later other lessons caught up, the important ones, and his jaw snapped shut with a click, as he tried for Thank you!

It, too, exited in a way that translated more as a hiss than the words he lacked the lips to form - the way his skull remembered the feeling of them but how Manfred, himself, had never had use of as himself.  Emmrich understood him, of course, but Emmrich wasn't there to convey the message, so after a long pause, in which Manfred thought long and hard about how to better convey his gratitude in receiving a gift, all for himself, he looked down at his gloved hands, before lifting the thumb of one, balling the rest of his hand into a fist.

But, oh, then the Present! was revealed, and he watched - very closely - as Zevran demonstrated how to use the small wax sticks.  The small red heart appeared at the edge of the paper - Anatomically abysmal, the Emmrich voice he carried with him opined - but Manfred was delighted!  This was better than the ball of string Myrna had given him once, in many different colors that he'd used to tie so many knots.  And he knew just what he was going to do with them first, because, as he had also been taught, one always sent a thank you card in return for receiving a gift, and while Manfred's writing was…Coming along, Emmrich said, he could do better!  He would draw Zevran the most beautiful picture he could, instead.

Maybe Manfred was the genius, but he would congratulate himself once he'd accomplished his newfound task.

Thank you! he gurgled again, taking the red wax stick and dragging it gently the way he'd seen Zevran do across the paper, leaving behind a streak of crimson.  Brilliant!  This was already better than his entire set of paints!  In test, he also pulled a gloved finger across the mark he'd made, where it stayed just where he'd drawn it.  The stick gently deposited, like it was something incredibly precious, on the surface of the desk, he clapped.  This was going to do wonders for his artwork, no waiting for it to dry!

You should kiss someone else. 

Alistair opens his mouth to give a joking answer, his eyes rolling. He just wanted to forget. He’d been foolish to even think that his fellow Grey Warden– After all, she was– and Leliana was–  

But then Zevran keeps talking.

Like me. I like being kissed.

Just like that, all of the breath in his lungs was gone.

Alistair stands there like an idiot for what feels like an eternity, mouth gaping open as he looks down at Zevran, baffled as his mind tries to sort through the arrangement of words that he said and the order that he had said them in. His mouth gets dry. And then his cheeks get hot. Hot hot.

He reels backwards belatedly.

     “Don’t be– silly,” is the only word that bubbles off his lips. 

Silly? Stupid thing to say. He knows it as soon as it’s said. 

     “I– you’re a– and I’m a–” they’re both boys!

Then again, the Warden and Leliana are both girls…………………..

No.

     “I’m um,” Alistair blushes even harder. He can feel it from inside his own face.

     “I’m going to be over there now. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Away. From here. And this.”

He wants to call her a liar. Wants to--but can't. Her features are far too sincere, her gaze steady and serene in the way only honesty can communicate. The Inquisitor really does think that she could protect him.

It brings a grin to his own face. There's a small, select few who would offer him the same kind of protection and an even smaller few who could actually do it. He's not entirely sure if the Inquisitor could keep true to her word, but he doesn't doubt that she'd try.

zevran: if i'm on my knees, may i call you--

bc on the one hand, it's really hard to put zev in datv. if you want the crows to be a meaningful faction at all, then you can't have zevran. he is a crow hunter at this point, he's not going to ally with them even a little bit.

and in theory that makes any sort of datv situation difficult, because even with end of the world scenarios, he's more likely to go off on his own and help in other ways, or join up with the inquisitor, or the hof, or any other number of people. because he just really fucking hates the crows.

lucanis is kind of the epitome of a crow to zevran. it's not the training, it's the house. he's a dellamorte. he's a multi-generational crow. he's in line for first talon. sure they both went through shitty childhoods, but lucanis is, from zevran's pov, content with the system and doesn't care to change it. he and his (his cousin, grandmother, teia, viago, crow rook, etc) are doing just fine. they're not being played against each other by talons in some sick political mind game. they're the ones benefiting from buying kids off the streets, pulling the strings to mess with their recruits, upholding and furthering the system. it doesn't matter how "good" they try to be, the crows are rotten from the core to zevran.

and on the flip side, zevran is everything lucanis loathes. he broke a contract. he went back on his word and betrayed his family. the crows are lucanis' family and no matter how much he may disagree with them or deplore the situations he gets put in because of them, he's never going to abandon his family. and someone who does leave their family like that turns his stomach. lucanis would rather die than abandon or break a contract, and that he mentions that as the reason the crows cannot go back to ferelden feels very telling.

i don't see an easy way for them to get past that except under highly specific circumstances, like if varric had contracted zevran's services to assist in stopping solas (in which, he doesn't see the contract closed just because he's in fade jail), or in some situation where his child is rook (like necromosss au). i think those situations are very few and far between, but i can see it happening.

in which case... i want to say they'll grow to like each other, i just don't know that it's really possible. i think they'd get along rather well if they were ever able to get past the crow trauma. i think in a scenario where lucanis was kicked out of the crows or left them, zevran would step up to help him as he's helped other crows escape the life. i think in any case, whether they come to like each other or not, they might be petty around the lighthouse, but professional in the field. and lucanis, while not externally, would definitely take to heart any of the critiques zevran has of the crows--lucanis isn't blind to their failures or shortcomings, he's just quietly critical whereas zevran is highly vocal at this point.