#witchyshit

Coprinopsis Atramentaria or "common ink cap"

Kananaskis, Alberta

Written by Raven @themoonandthestarless

This is a new series created by Raven who will discuss topics within the world around them. Topics that are uncomfortable to be spoken among ourselves. This is not to offend or scare but to bring awareness.

Let's talk about what people are NOT talking about in this spiritual community. Before we get right into it, please understand that this is all personal belief and from what I have seen. Everybody has a right to think of their own opinion. I understand I am not a doctor nor a certified therapist in the realm of mental health but someone who understands and is an advocate for mental health awareness and getting help. Please.. if you are suffering from these conditions please seek help. There is help from professionals to talking to a friend that will guide you for help. You are not alone.

With that being said, let's get into it.

Spiritual Psychosis. What is it? Why is that word so popular among the spiritual community especially on Tiktok or social media? The correct definition of psychosis is from the webster dictionary.

Psychosis (noun)

: a serious mental illness (such as schizophrenia) characterized by defective or lost contact with reality often with hallucinations or delusions.

Spiritual Psychosis is a psychotic episode that involves delusions and thought patterns that are focused on religious and spiritual themes. It can occur when spiritual experiences blur the line between reality and perception, which can lead to emotional disturbances. In simple words you breath, eat, sleep, spirituality and have no sense of peace of mind. You are in constantly checking in with spirit realm 24/7 and always alert about the spirit realm and not in the mundane. You disregard and isolate yourself from friends, family and loved ones just to be absorbed in the spirit realm. Spiritual Psychosis happens to everyone. There is no one on this Earth that is not immune to this illness. You can be Christian or even practicing in a ATR to suffer from this, it can creep up on you in multiple ways, unexpected. Of course there are other issues that not brought to attention that contribute to such as: PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, etc.

There are alot of people in many spiritual communities and religious practices that don't check with themselves mentally or physically. There is this frown upon doctors and medical professionals from so-called gurus that these gurus disregard going to seek medical help and slap on the sticker of getting a cleansing or specific spellwork as a save-all-fix-all and not understand they may be suffering from underline schizoprenia or their own mental hell. Alot of people on social media plaster this perfect picture of what spirituality should be and never display the ugly sides of it. On social media under the themes of spirituality, there are pressures that are placed to the masses of what their spiritual practice should look like and place fear among the ton about who is hexing you or how to hex your ex. For example, it's like the cliques in school, if you don't have a title or don't have this elaborated altar-- are you truly a 'Witch'? Or another big topic; if you aren't clairvoyant than are you truly spiritual?

In my personal experience I have gone through many phases of spirituality and truly found no happiness. I wanted to feel at peace with myself and feel like I am being heard and acknowledged. There were many times were I was suffering from epsodes of spiritual psychosis thinking someone hexed me or put me in a bottle-- when in reality I was not tuned to myself in acts of self care or grounding-- only of expectations of what I have seen from the spiritual community.

A wise priestess once told me that most people don't need spirituality, they need medical help.

We all know the phrase, especially from the infamous occult movies, "As above, so below." Given it's history, the phrase simply means that whatever you do in the physical world will reflect itself in the spiritual realm. It's like looking into a mirror, how you present yourself is what you will reflect upon. What we put our time and energy towards will either prosper or deminish. If you manifest the ugly things in life you will reap ugly maybe even worse things. What you sow into the ground is what will reap in the future.

"Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny." - Mahatma Gandhi

In my expierence , in this lifetime I have come to accept that my life is like the moon. I go through phases but always reach a complete circle even if it's uncomfortable. At times, i may reach a spiritual breakthrough, an elevation, like an eclipse of my newly found awareness. But I don't stay in that high for so long, it's always fleeting and I come back to Earth to go through the phases to complete a cycle. We all go through phases in life that helps us grow to become better people. I have been thrown into the mud by spirit just to come out as a different person. I like to think of it as "Spirit Bootcamp." and your spirit guides are Drill Sargents that will break you and put you through the test to see if you can become a better version than what you were before. No spirit guide or deity or ancestor is there to save you. You are to save yourself in the end.

"So if you need a hero Just look in the mirror No one's gonna save you now So you better save yourself And everybody's hurting Everybody's going through it But you just can't give up now 'Cause you gotta save yourself." - "After The Storm" by Kali Uchis ft. Tyler The Creator

I was in spiritual psychosis for over a year and now I am finally come out... and it was very shitty. It took me alot of time to finally come to conclusion of what was really infront of me. I was scared to face the reality but after sitting with myself and coming into conclusion of events that have happened within the last years I had to swallow a literal horsepill. I had different support systems that were able to help me wake up and take off the eye covers to show me that not everything revolves around religion or spirituality. My mental state was way different than what I have started my spirituality in 2019, but I remind myself that I'm glad i went through the tests and trials from my guides to wake me up of what I have been putting in the back burner. To face my shadows and acknowledge them to form better and well rounded boundaries to keep my peace and myself safe.

One big red flag that woke me up from my spiritual psychosis is by nature i am a social butterfly. I love speaking with people, creating connections, branching out and networking. I physically cannot stay in one group of the same people. I get bored easily. I love meeting new people and getting to know each other. It's a normal humane interacitive; it's in our DNA as mammals. We move in packs, it's how we protect each other. When I entered my spirituality in Spring of 2019, my social battery declinded rapidly. At that time I left a high controlling religious organization that all my friends were in only to not have no one within a week! My 20-something years of friendships and networking was gone in a blink of an eye!

That changed the chemicals in my brain, I became depressed and at times wanting to end it all-- because this organization teaches those who leave (even if you leave for personal reasons and not commiting a 'sin') is taught to ignore them as if they are dead or inferior. Even if it's your mother, father, sister or even your own child. It's sickening. But that topic is for another day. The only person I had, at that time that would support me was my boyfriend, but he lived in another state. We were in a long distant relationship and I was suffering more because I only had virtual affection and it wasn't completing my physical needs to complete this relationship as a partner. Keep in mind, having open communication towards my parents was nonexistent due to limit beliefs and their own personal opinions towards mental health and the world around them, due to their connections within the high control group.

I would go to work and mind my own business, only talk to my co-workers as colleagues not as friends because at the time I was in a very unhappy career field that was not bringing me happiness. I was pressured by others around me to leave this field because it was unrewarding for them. I just graduated and just started this career and was already having doubts. I was very insecure in my early 20s till mid 20s and hey, that's okay, it made me become a better person towards myself today. And yes, to this day that career is still not for me and I'm ontowards a new adventure. But looking back, outside of spirituality, I pressured myself to fit in, to be liked and to be loved with the world around me. I'm an attention seeker (the good kind), Like i mentioned earlier about The Clique--If you don't have a title or don't have this "Insert object" here-- you can't be part of that group.

I wanted to be included in parties, social gatherings and not be left in the dust. It was exhausting and mentally draining-- even when I was in the high religious control group it reflected into my personal spiritual life. I would see the pain my mother's eyes when we were told last minute about a social gathering or someone getting married, etc the day before or hearing her almost into tears about why are we the last people to be invited. She put herself out there and did her best to only be at the bottom of the list. And seeing that on my mother, I really put the pressure on myself to be on that list to be rememerbed and that didn't last for so long.

Fast foward 2024 and here we are still struggling with being liked and being authentic. Authenticity was NOT in my bingo card until this year. I was taught to be a cookie cutter-- but i hated it inside and i seeked to become the rebellious person to society and be true to myself. This year I have fully accepted myself as genderfluid and non-binary. Coming out of the closet to my community as they/them and Queer. Even given the looks by those around me, i still kept going with my head high because it brought me happiness and more closure.

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandala, Former President of South Africa

Now you may ask, "Raven how does your expierence connect to this essay about spiritual psychosis?" Well my dearest gentle reader, one word. Manifestation.

I manifested my own hexing towards myself because of fear of what others might think of me or not be part of the clique in this spiritual community. I left that high controlling religious organization to find authenticity within my self and soul. That was the seed that germated into a sprout. I did not take care of my mental health and let my own shadows control me and pushed away those around me because of paranoia and fear. Fear is a weapon and whoever holds that weapon can do good or bad. I clipped away my own butterfly wings just to grow new ones again and more beautifully.

Also a wisdom to those in the spirit realm or starting to dabble. Spirit is manifesto in everything-- what you release is what you get in return. Spirit is neither good nor evil-- it has no gender, no beliefs, only action. What you put faith in will come true either good or bad. So truly think about what you want to say next time you lit that candle.

I would love to hear from anyone in the comments. feel free to comment or repost. This is my first paper among many to come. Thank you!

Raven

Me:👁️👄👁️

Praying the rosary can help put us in a state of gnosis and meditation to clear the mind and relieve anxiety. It helps us connect to The Holy Queen of Death, Santa Muerte and can be used as part of your offering ritual or meditation practice.

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