#witcher humor

Geralt: This is my daughter Ciri, she's kind and strong and I’m so proud of her.

Horses basically do not sit, and they're not incredibly stable so even if you're working with a 2500lb draft it's pretty much always possible to force them to budge over, but! sitting and refusing to get up is a primary llama tactic.  Whenever you piss a llama off it's either spit-in-your-face time or sit-down-and-become-one-with-the-earth time.

And the idea of a Witcher AU where everything is the same except Roach is a llama is HILARIOUS to me

Geralt is mean to Jaskier and she just sits down in the middle of the road and refuses to budge until he apologizes

A townsperson is being Witcher-racist and she spits in his eye making him roll around on the ground in stinky pain

It explains so much about how game!Roach is always ending up on top of buildings bc llamas actually have sorta claw-things not hooves and they can climb anything, including going straight up vertical fences, and also they in general have no regard for physical boundaries, if they stay in a pasture it's because they chose to, so, like, Jaskier's running from a cuckolded lord on the third story of a castle and suddenly there's this hell-beast making a sound like a furious wood chipper between him and the lord who is now running VERY MUCH THE OTHER WAY and Jaskier's just like...  I love you but how the hell did you get up here