#wistful

I miss delicately holding, softly massaging, and gently kissing your paws. They were the softest part of your already silky-smooth body. When my fingertips tenderly caressed the skin, it was like I was touching the velvety scarlet red petal of a rose found in highland meadows during the bloom of a warm spring day. Every day I think of your paws. I felt so connected to you whenever you would rest them on my thick thighs while we watched a show or movie. I miss watching your starry big cocoa eyes slowly roll to the back of your head as my massage released built up tension you've had all day. There would always be a blissful feeling showering me whenever I rubbed my face against them, like it was a fluffy warm blanket fresh out of a dryer. They're so perfectly shaped. The subtle curves of each toe bean and daintiness of your paw fill my soul with warmth every time I think of them. I miss them so unbelievably much. I long for them to be in my hands again

"I like how we're the only ones entertained by this, nobody else cares." You told me as we both observed a wet, russet brown beaver carrying a fish or log in its mouth back to its den. The den's entrance was accessible only by water and was under a thick tree that dangled over a wide, slow flowing stream with small bubbles lazily floating down. The chunky beaver disappeared into a dark hole that looked like it went through a small hill where the tree was rooted into. Only with you do I ever find a deeper enjoyment and curiosity in the smallest details of life. You make the world more lighthearted with your warm presence and witty commentary. I dearly yearn exploring nature with you, even if it was at the same park. There would always be something new to observe, because we always found amusement in worlds where nobody else notices. That's what makes you so special to me. This is an experience that I've only ever had with you. There are countless national parks that I dream and imagine going to with you. You're the only person who I want to explore nature around the world with, and I have ambitions and hope that we do. I profoundly desire to watch a million pastel purple sunsets with you, in every corner of the world. I deeply wish to wake up to a million coral orange sunrises with you.

I sincerely miss when we used to share music with each other all the time. It was like peering through a window of your soul and heart whenever you sent me songs that you've been enjoying. You were always full of excitement to share a part of your daily life with me. I had such a privilege to know an intimate part of you. As our relationship continued, the act of sharing songs with each other slowed down. We barely made playlists or shared music with each other. It kills me to think about it, because at one point, all I could think about all day was how sweet it was to share music with somebody who actually understood and enjoyed what I listened to. It is a deep and personal part of me, and I miss sharing it with you. You were the only person who I would be happy to curate playlists for and share songs with. I still remember the first song that played in the background inside my car for our first kiss. I will never forget it. There are so many songs that completely breaks me down because of the flood of strong emotions and bittersweet memories associated with it. I miss you asking to play music in my car and putting me on while we drove to our dates. You always had such a cheerful look on your face whenever you asked, and I wish to see that luminous smile again. It warmed up my soul and nobody can ever replace that.

💙