#wingingit

Dick always blames himself for things that aren’t his fault.

[The New Titans (1988) #57]

Dick even goes to therapy (pre52) to help himself but maybe Dick continues to think everything is his fault because whenever he saves anyone from impossible circumstances he’s always told things like:

[Nightwing (2016) Vol:4 #8]

“I jumped because I knew you’d catch me”.

[Red Robin #12]

“You’re my brother Dick.  You’ll always be there for me”.

Even though they clearly didn’t really know if Dick could have made it in time.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m so glad people put their faith in Dick and his abilities but this sort of compliment really diminishes how hard he works to help.  ‘I knew you would be there’ when he couldn’t have puts a lot of pressure on Dick and Dick never corrects anyone from having that belief and so it keeps going in a vicious cycle of higher and higher expectations when the truth is Dick can’t always be there so when the time comes when he’s not there (because he’s only human and can only be in one place at a time) it’s automatically a guilt trip for him.

Sometimes he doesn’t get a thank you, lots of times he gets blamed for not helping out fast enough and no acknowledgement for his hard work.

[Teen Titans: Year One #3]

So even if he becomes aware of it himself he’s always still falling back into the mindset where he thinks he should have the ability to save everyone even in impossible circumstances and that’s why he always blames himself for things he couldn’t have helped even though he knows he couldn’t do anything.  

For Dick failure is his biggest fear.  Failure to help people, failure to live up to the incredibly high standards Bruce put on him and then the even higher standards he put on himself. (This issue was a scenario in which he had to face his biggest fear.  Failure and admitting failure.)

[Teen Titans (1966) #38]

But that’s why it’s also important to note that Dick does his best to acknowledge his failures and even shoulders blame for things that weren’t his fault or he couldn’t have helped.

[Grayson #15]

Everyone expects to be saved by him or expects him to be there for them so when he comes up short of their expectations and/or makes mistakes they lash out at him.  The thing is it seems like he lets them because he feels guilty.

That’s another thing that irks me. The Batfamily may not do it intentionally but along with enabling Dick to believe he can save everyone when he can’t they also lash out at him and he let’s them hurt him.  Personally it’s happened too many times for me to think that Dick doesn’t allow them to hit him sometimes.  Even when he doesn’t let them do it on purpose he thinks he deserves it either way and/or he tells himself and everyone else that it’s not his family’s fault but his own.  Dick will even defend his family members right after they hit him and none of them ever acknowledge this as a problem Dick has. You’re not supposed to be able to bounce back that quickly after someone you love and trust punches you that hard.

Dick Grayson – the Bat family punching bag

[Grayson #12]

Dick isn’t as put together as he lets them believe and people shouldn’t condemn him for every time he couldn’t be there for someone or does something wrong.  There are even times when he’s really trying his best but still comes up short and he realizes and gets frustrated at himself as well even though he couldn’t possibly have made everyone happy in the situation he was in.  

He also admits his failures, many times seemingly very easily, and that makes others feel like it’s not a big deal when really the hardest thing for Dick is failing and having people know he’s failed.

“In that moment, you feel true love wrapping it’s arms around you with this overwhelming sense of gratitude.” When you’re pregnant you cannot wait to experience all the joys of motherhood; holding your baby for the first time, building your bond, baby giggles and so much more. There’s not a possession in this world that can make you happier than that. But, along with the joy comes a band of…