#willezarr

@wille-zarr my friend, I hope this delivers ;)

1. I own a round Grogu pillow that looks like him sitting in his lil pod thing and iTs sO aDoRAblE

2. I DETEST dimly lit rooms. Especially when it's cloudy and grey outside

3. I write music (tho not a TON)

4. My computer top is COVERED in stickers

This is my first fanfiction in a long time so be gentle! I’m definitely rusty, but when I was listening to this Taylor Swift song I couldn’t get this concept out of my head. It takes place after the season finale so obvious spoilers. Its my OC Auden and she is the love interest of our favorite Mando. I wanted to write grief from my perspective since I lost my older brother years ago it still feels so real but writing helps me express so much. Anyways I hope yall like this! 

Catching my death, and I couldn’t be sure I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for Evermore.

You couldn’t breathe.

You felt everything in slow motion and all at once. You felt tears running down your cheeks and didn’t have the strength or the care to wipe them away. Your ever so tough exterior was tarnished forever. You made yourself a promise long ago to never let others see you cry. 

Oh hell it doesn’t matter much now anymore does it?

You watched the chaos scene in front of you as Din was making his final goodbyes to the child. The child or Grogu as you both came to know had completely stolen what was left of your heart which you thought was impossible. Your heart which was shattered many years ago when your parents abandoned you and your only sibling. Your older brother took care of you and raised you but by the time you turned 19 he was gone from your life too. Another victim of The Empire, another soul lost in the stars forever. After your world was turned upside down once again you were lost, completely on your own going from planet to planet with no plan for your future. You knew how to defend yourself and did odd jobs when you could to get by, but nothing felt right you were never at peace.

That all changed about 10 years later when you ran into a certain Mandalorian and his odd looking child one night. He saved you from a group of nasty men at a cantina who just wanted to take advantage of you since you were drunk and just looking for another distraction. You welcomed the empty company of a man any other time since it numbed the pain even if it was for just a moment. That life was enough. 

But you deserved more, the universe had other plans for you.

It took a long time but you began to fall in love with The Mandalorian and his child and you swore it over and over it would never happen to you but your heart began to heal, the grief and pain of losing your family started to be replaced by a newfound feeling. It took time but eventually you welcomed with it with open arms. You became a mother to the child, and all the motherly instincts came to you so naturally. 

Happiness

You never thought you could feel that again. 

and now as you come back to the present, you felt your blaster slip from your hands as you watched the Jedi turn away and leave with half of your heart. Finally you felt your legs and started to run, you didn’t give a damn about being defenseless in a enemy ship, you ran past Cara, Bo Katan and Finnec. 

You ran past Din.

Your eyes were filled with tears and your mind was going a mile a minute trying to catch up to the Jedi who was taking your life away. Again.

No. No I can’t do this again, I refuse to lose anyone else.  

You kept running down the never ending hall until you froze. You watched Grogu one last time as he made it out with the Jedi. You knew it was useless, he was gone. Even Din could let him go, and they had a bond like no other.

You were never good at letting go.

You collapsed on the floor in a heap of sobs and screams. Your grief overwhelming you once again like a tidal wave. You were drowning, and this time you didn’t want to fight it. It wasn’t worth it anymore, you had truly lost everything. 

Can’t remember what I used to fight for, I rewind the tape but all it does it pause. On the very moment all was lost. 

You didn’t realize a pair of strong arms picking you up, bringing you back into this moment. You knew who it was and was beyond grateful to feel the familiar coolness of baskar against your cheeks which were stained with tears. 

“Auden. Please look at me. Please, I’m right here its goin-g to be okay.”

Through blurry tear soaked eyes you gathered the strength to look up at the man who you do anything for.

You lost your breath again as your dark eyes met his own. Time stopped once again. You couldn’t find your voice, all you could do was stare. 

My gods he is beautiful. He’s everything I imagined he’d look like and more.

You reached up and touched that mysterious, beautiful face of the man you’ve fell in love with. He closed his eyes leaning into you as he started down the hall still determined to get you out of there and to be safe. 

“D-din you’re creed, what about the creed and everyth-.”

You were cut off by his mouth touching you lips. Nothing else needed to be said. Finally. Finally

You both embraced the kiss, it was long overdue and you swore you saw stars in your overwhelming amount of emotions. It was how a kiss should feel, powerful and full of life and passion.

You two broke apart reluctantly and just stared at each other. Even with your grief and loss still very real and raw, you just knew things would be okay. Maybe not everything but isn’t that just life?

“Come on Auden, lets get out of here. I’ll explain everything, I-I did want I had to. He needed to be safe, We I-I couldn’t give him that.” Din sighed, his brown eyes red and swollen from his own tears and inner torment.

“I know Din, I-I know it just caught me off again, I can’t stand to lose anyone else.”

Din looked down to you and gently put you down knowing you could feel your legs again.

“You’ll never lose me. Ever. That’s a promise I will keep, I love you.”

You took his gloved hand in your own and smiled. 

“I know.”

I couldn’t be sure I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain wouldn’t be for 

Darth Maul in The Clone Wars/Rebels:

Me:

Kinda makes Crosshair’s conflict in this scene hit a bit differently now... 😭 Crosshair is trapped in there somewhere-

screaming for his brothers.