#wilkes

• Mulciber used to call everyone by their surname, even when they were already on first-name terms. Even his closest friends got the surname treatment. Evan used to tell him to drop the act because he only did it to strut around like a cock of the walk, but Mulciber never gave a single fuck and kept calling him Rosier.

• Severus had a seriously twisted sense of humour that he could never let loose around Lily because he knew she’d be scandalised. Strangely enough, whenever he cracked jokes about his father beating the shit out of him or about the consequences of coming from a long line of alcoholics, Mulciber, Avery and Wilkes found it absolutely hilarious. Rosier usually pulled a face, but he never quite seemed uncomfortable.

• Wilkes gave offensive nicknames to pretty much everyone in the school so he could talk about them out loud without anyone realising. For example, he called Peter Pettigrew the Slimy Balloon and Remus Lupin the Syphilitic Wanker. In both cases, part of the nickname was based on their physical appearance and the other on some aspect of their personality.

• Avery had a very explosive personality and was completely incapable of sitting still. It was common for Slytherin to lose dozens of points because of his behaviour.

• Evan Rosier tended to stay out of the fights Mulciber usually picked with other people, because he thought that kind of behaviour was incredibly lacking in class. That said, he did enjoy scrapping with the Marauders from time to time, because he thought they were a bunch of spineless pricks who always went after Snape when he was on his own but never dared try anything when he was with a group. So he often teamed up with Avery to wind them up behind their backs.

• Regulus Black didn’t usually hang around with them, partly because they were a year older and partly because he wasn’t really a group person. Still, he loved drifting over to them whenever his brother was around, because he knew Sirius couldn’t stand seeing him with that lot and it drove him up the wall. He’d also tip them off from time to time when he knew the Slytherins were planning something against those Gryffindors.

• Evan Rosier was a cousin of the Black sisters, and he greatly admired Lucius Malfoy, who tasked him with keeping an eye on Snape, as he believed the boy could become a very valuable recruit for the cause.

• Severus thought Mulciber was a thick-headed idiot and that Avery would probably end up dead sooner or later, but he let it slide because they were people who accepted him. On the other hand, he always had a great deal of respect for Rosier, whom he considered the most intelligent of the lot.

• Everyone knew that Mary Macdonald was a shameless Marauders suck-up because she was hopelessly in love with Sirius Black to a degree that was honestly embarrassing. She was one of their regular groupies, and whenever they went after Snape she was always the first to cheer them on—hence why Avery and Mulciber decided to teach her a lesson.

• Some time after that, Rosier also had his bit of fun by enchanting all her clothes so that whenever she was near Black, a message would appear on her outfit reading: “I’d kill my parents for your cock.”

Sure they were friends, and I'm being generous with that term to describe the complicated web that was the relationship between all of them, but they had a very defined structure.

Rosier was probably the "leader" of it, or the closest there was to a main leading figure in the group, with Avery being the closest second in charge. Why? Because they both are pure bloods, AND members of a sacred twenty eight family. Rosier is only slightly above Avery in the hierarchy because the Rosier family is richer than the Averys and he is more level headed than Avery who acts first and thinks later.

Below them it would be Mulciber and Wilkes, Mulciber has a higher ground than Wilkes simply because, again, he is richer than Wilkes and while he can be a little bit brutish by, like Avery, acting first and then thinking later, he is at least directly active against anyone who comes for them. Wilkes honestly doesn't do shit, he can't fight, but he can manipulate people and social settings like an instrument.

And then, there is Snape. Poor, half-blood, spiteful, a rightful bastard but utterly brilliant. They appreciate him like anyone would to a disheveled grumpy feral cat who you can't exactly get rid off because he is useful catching mice (or in Snape's case, a genius in potions and a swot in general with a sick and dark sense of humour all of them found funny as hell) but won't let you pet it without being risked a severe scratch.

Avery: When's the last time you slept? Severus: Uh... a few days ago, I think. Avery: A few- how many?! Severus: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers... Avery: What you need is sleep!

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Wilkes: What’s your favorite high school memory? Evan: LEAVING. FUCKING LEAVING!

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Lucius: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Severus: Killed without hesitation.

Regulus: SEV!

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Avery: When I was married, you know what Regulus often said to me? Mulciber: Please stop sleeping with other people?

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Severus: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

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Okay, this is coming from my canon compliance view. Lol

I believe wizards and witches aren't really raised with men do this and women do this aside the fact about who should produce heirs and who doesn't. So let me introduce this:

"What's that toy?" Avery points out.

"This? It must be a barbie toy some kid put on my trolley."

"It looks so strange. I've seen many more muggle kids with that toy." Wilkes adds.

Rosier shrugs "So just some muggle toy."

Severus puts down his book "It's not just any muggle toy, Evan. It's the toy of muggles. Barbie can be anything and everything. She can be a nurse, an astronaut, a CEO, you name it."

Barty lifts his face. "Sooooo... She's like a pureblood! Why didn't you tell us sooner. Look at how beautiful she is."

Black blurts "I feel like you want to fuck the toy, please dont." Barty glows red trying to come up with a restort but only end up like a stammering mess, licking his lower lip as the others laugh at him.

They expect Severus to tell more but that was it really. There wasn't much to the story aside the fact that barbie could be anything she wants if she puts her mind to it. They keep his muggle toy..... For ridiculing purposes of course. Definitely not admiration.

He gets bothered around every corner about what versions are available of her now. He wasn't that interested. His dad bought him a set out of peer pressure once. He looked like a girl and pointed out while walking with his dad that he wanted one. When he said no, he got these strange looks. Even after he sputtered that Severus was a boy, he got an even worse disdainful look... As if he was trying to lie about his gender so he didn't have to buy the toy. That day, he got a beating but it was worth it. It wasn't the latest version of barbie but all he wanted was the dress up version anyway.

He couldn't answer them and only more anticipation grew towards the doll definitely being of the pureblood kind, they ventured into the muggle world to buy their Barbie stuff. They were met with these strange looks of men and women that they couldn't really understand. A muggle woman asked if they bought it for their sister or niece.

Seeing muggles as savages. Evan covered his stuff and spat "No, they're mine. It's all for me."

Mulciber chimed in as Snape stood there shaking his head in disbelief. They would have bought entire stocks but of course. Severus held them back and it felt like dealing with kids when they threw tantrums about getting more while the sale is there. "People will look at you weirdly, carrying each 3 carts full of barbie supplies with magic."

Crouch groans "Fine, By Salazar's scraggly beard. Fine. Two carts."

"Isn't th-"

"Nuh, uh, no, I have two hands. Each hand can carry their weight after being proven useless so many times." Wilkes threatens with an impatient gaze. The shopowner lied on the spot that each could only purchase 10 bags. Because, you know. Boys purchasing girly stuff for themselves must be weird. Severus knew the real reason but didn't have the heart to tell them and he does want to sleep well, thank you very much.

Then they went back and came across the Gryffindor group that had DC and Marvel items. Also holding toys of ugly creatures. Lily wasn't on speaking terms for sure but who wouldn't say something with 6 purebloods, each holding barbie items. "Barbie?"

"None of your business mudblood."

James and Mary would jump in "Don't talk to her that way, and yes, why do you have barbie."

Trying to deescalate this, Snape answers "They adore Barbie because she can be anything and they think that only purebloods can be that."

Avery spat "Think? I know."

Severus pats his shoulder and smiles "Sure you do. We should be going back." He left them first as the 6 purebloods hurried after him. He felt extremely uncomfortable with Lily. Not because he hates her, but.... It felt awkward now. She's dating his bully so that's that.

Back in their dorm they talk about how Gryffindors would obviously like idiots and muggles would love ugly freaks such as Hulk. Waiting for Severus to explain their nice looking stuff. Severus became the clothing maker. Creating outfits for them if they pay him nicely. A trick he learned from his mother. Slowly the Barbies became more magical, they could talk, move on their own and had robes and quidditch outfits.

One day, regulus sits up right "Why isn't there a male barbie?"

"There is one called Ken Carson. But the barbie is more meant to shine herself. She can do everything herself. The boyfriend is either supportive, an accessory.... Kind of just there to explore her story more. Not her exploring Ken's story."

The others hear it too and thought about their moms. It made sense. Their dad's kind of hover there while their moms are bossing around. Regulus finishes writing his letter to tell Narcissa and Lucius about this pureblood doll. They look exactly like them. He knew his niece would just want to have one too.

At night, Severus thinks of the barbies. And turns to Mulciber. "Why do you think Barbie is a pureblood. Can only purebloods be everything?"

Bruce turned to him "It's not really as bad as it sounds. Because do I have to take my father position in the laws? Why can't I be something else? If she can be anything as a pureblood... So can I." Aware of how insecure Severus felt about his blood.

"Oh" Severus didn't think of it like that. It really isn't as bad as it sounds when it's put like that.

Mulciber breathes softly, holding Severus his hands. "I am sure the others think this way too."

Severus looked closer now. Evan wanted to become a surgeon, Barty wanted to discover the stars, Mulciber wanted something to be something involving plants, Avery was always nagging him about potions and apparently wants to be a potion master, Wilkes wanted to be an auror and Regulus.... Well Regulus wanted to stay the rich heir.

Abraxas Malfoy

Alastor Moody

Alecto Carrow

Alice Fortescue

Amelia Bones

Amos Diggory

Amycus Carrow

Andromeda Tonks [R]

Antonin Dolohov

Argus Filch

Arthur Weasley

Augusta Longbottom

Augustus Rookwood

Aurora Sinistra

Avery

Bartemius Crouch Sr.

Barty Crouch Jr.

Bellatrix Lestrange

Benjy Fenwick

Bertha Jorkins

Bertram Aubrey

Caradoc Dearborn

Charity Burbage

Corban Yaxley

Cuthbert Binns

Cygnus Black III

Daisy Hookum

Davey Gudgeon

Dirk Cresswell

Dolores Umbridge

Dorcas Meadowes

Doris Purkiss

Druella Black

Edgar Bones

Emma Vanity

Emmeline Vance

Euphemia Potter

Evan Rosier

Fabian Prewett

Fenrir Greyback

Filius Flitwick

Fleamont Potter

Frank Longbottom

Gideon Prewett

Gilderoy Lockhart

Glenda Chittock

Greta Catchlove

Hestia Jones

Hope Lupin

Horace Slughorn

Irma Pince

James Potter [R]

Kingsley Shacklebolt

Lily Evans

Lucius Malfoy

Ludo Bagman

Lyall Lupin

Mafalda Hopkirk

Marlene McKinnon

Mary Macdonald

Minerva McGonagall

Molly Weasley

Mulciber

Narcissa Black

Orion Black

Otto Bagman

Pandora

Peter Pettigrew

Pomona Sprout

Poppy Pomfrey

Rabastan Lestrange

Regulus Black [R]

Remus Lupin [R]

Rita Skeeter

Rodolphus Lestrange

Rolanda Hooch

Rubeus Hagrid

Septima Vector

Septimus Weasley

Severus Snape

Silvanus Kettleburn

Sirius Black [R]

Sturgis Podmore

Sybill Trelawney

Ted Tonks

Thorfinn Rowle

Walburga Black

Wendy Slinkhard

Wilkes

Xenophilius Lovegood

they had jobs

its mad, I know, very unrealistic, but imagine the potential of all of the characters working in the same quarter of the shopping centre.