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feels strange to say because the leftenmost window and inside the mysterious cube have been my fav longforms ever since i got into shoot from the hip but honestly think what i found in the chimney may be up there with them or even my overall fav??? i loved it so much
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The Roman Numerals
One of the strangest things I found in the closet were the roman numerals. I don't remember seeing them when we first moved in, but one day there they were. I was getting dressed one morning and was looking through all of my dresses that were hung inside the closet. As I pulled aside the last one I saw them, scratched on the wall in the corner.
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X
Clearly, someone had been counting. The numerals after that were stranger
VII III I XI IV X VI XXII IX I
They were all written in what must have been a pen, that had carved into the drywall, making the marks more permanent.
I traced the numerals with my fingers and tried to imagine who had written them.
It wasn't until later I found out that exactly 10 people had gone missing in the neighborhood long ago. Their ages, in order of when they had gone missing were as follows: 7, 3, 1, 11, 4, 10, 6, 22, 9, and 1.
Someone in the closet had kept a record.
How could anyone ever be scared of a little girl
We are born to be innately cute with sweet golden curls
So how did I end up here?
It is so dark, maybe I disappeared
When I was small my mother would let me play on the beach
I would build castles and collect shells 'till waves licked my feet
All day I'd spend in the sun
Then come the dusk back to my mother I'd run
One day the the neighbor's boy was passing by and he asked to play
He said let's venture out past the tide pools, go exploring
Reluctantly I took his hand
How was I to know that I would never come back
He was much older, he was much strong, I was so scared
I don't remember much of what happened for lack of air
And he didn't know what to do
So he his me in the closet in his room
How could anyone ever be mean to a little girl?
Don't worry love there is no need to scream, you will not hurt
I'm sure that we can be friends
Just come a little deeper into the closet.
Bedtime Stories
As you can imagine, not long after my family moved into the house I began to greatly regret my choice in rooms. The closet scared me. At bedtime I began to ask my parents to check for monsters in my room before they left. My parents were very indulgent, and after reading me my bedtime story, tucking me in, and giving me a kiss, they would begin to check my entire room for monsters. They would check under the bed, behind the dresser, in each of the dresser drawers, the window ledge. They were quite comprehensive. However, even when prompted, they always passed by the closet. They said, "Darling, there is nothing in the closet, trust us. We just know. After all, we're grown ups." And then they would leave, and the closet would open.
The Light
I have a very, very faint first memory of the light. When I was very small I thought it was a dream. I'm not sure how long it was after my family had moved into the house, but I know it was after I had realized the closet was too dark to play in. The closet door was never quite able to close all the way, and even if my parents pushed it almost completely shut when they tucked me in at night, the door still would always drift open in the night making slow, eerie, whining noises as it moved. All I remember is one night I heard the door begin to creak, and even thought I was afraid, for some reason I opened my eyes and looked at the closet. Somewhere in the depths of the closet I saw a very faint light. I stared at the light for a long time, waiting. The light stared back, faint, yellow, and still. Eventually the door slowly creaked shut once more, and I was able to sleep. But every night I would be woken up by the door, and I would stare at the light, and eventually I realized that I wasn't dreaming.
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Little boys with chemistry sets
Learned how to make a bomb
They took it in the backyard
Now we can't find the dog
Oh tell me Mommy, where did Fido go?
The lawns covered in red stuff though it should be white with snow
And why does Bobby look so guilty these days?
Did you catch him jerking off or is there something he can't say?
I checked the basement to see if Fido was there
Daddy was snorting something so I left 'cause I was scared
Oh lovely Mommy why won't you speak to me?
You've been lying on the bathroom floor so long that it scares me
Oh where is Fido? What's a little girl to do?
No Dad, no dog, no Mommy
And Bobby said if I come near him he will shoot!
Darkness
When we first moved into the house I got to pick my room.The house had three levels and all the bedrooms were on the second floor. Mommy and Daddy had the master bedroom at the end of the hall, and then there was a bathroom, and then my sister's and my room across from each other on the other side of the staircase. I was older than my sister, I was five and she was three, so I got to pick my room. I picked my room especially because of the large closet. It was a walk in closet that smelled like ceder, even though there did not appear to be any ceder in the closet. It seemed so big, like it went on forever. I imagined using it as a playroom. But not long after I moved into the room I decided it was too difficult to play in the closet. The lights never worker and the closet was always dark. Always so dark. My parents said there must be something wrong with the electrical wiring, because no matter how many times they changed the bulb in the closet, the light would never work. And so the closet was always dark. Always so dark.
