#white+wolf

You should be surprised.

Really, you should.

But you truely- stupidly- perhaps…Impossibly thought that your crush on your leader/boss/mentor was completely and utterly under the rader

You couldn’t have tried harder in all honesty. You could’ve stared at him like you wanted his clothes to burn just to see the golden ray of JACKPOT hidden underneath. instead, forcing (with every fibre of your being) to look away within two seconds of spotting him enter any room, and perhaps that might count as the bare minimum, but when it comes to James Buchanan Barnes?

Who doesn’t want to see him naked.

You could’ve followed him around like a puppy with every step he takes- crowding yourself within his personal space just to be around him- but no, instead, you exit any room he enters that you so happen to be in as quick as water soaks a sponge. Going as far as sitting the furtherest away from him during briefings and meetings, avoiding him on missions and refusing to walk anywhere near his room

You’ve gotten so desperate to hide your feelings that you’ve gone as far as mesmerising his daily routine just to avoid him.

What times he wakes up so you can avoid the kitchen. What time he works out in the gym so you can avoid the whole second floor. What times he goes for runs, gets lunch, goes out and comes back, and it works- it really does, and of course…the biggest part of you hates that it works, that the universe isn’t shoving him into your face so you have no choice but to accept your object of desires.

All of this just so nobody will know of your crush

But somehow- some frustratingly, annoyingly- irritating to the point where you have a migraine and a fraction of breaking everything in sight way-

Yelena Belova, you hate to say….knows.

You’d been apart of the Avengers team for six months now- just like all of the others, falling into the palms of Valentina’s hands when she had you at your most vulnerable- sending you to end any person that was left breathing in the place you didn’t know she was sending to be your own demise too.

After You, Yelena and the others all saved eachother after back and forth trying to murder eachother, meeting Bob, and figuring out how to get out of there- it was a whole ordeal, meeting Alexi- figuring out a way to save Bob who…shot up into the sky

Then Bucky stupid Barnes showed up on his motorbike, 5 foot 9, hair like a bloody commercial, sunglasses on just for extra sexy points you suppose, revving the engine of his motorbike because why the hell wouldn’t he?

You weren’t even sure if ‘sexyback’ started playing on the limo radio when he flipped the tanks- or if it was all in your mind, either way, you definitely heard it playing

“Please don’t tell me you’re getting a lady boner for a man more ancient then John F Kennedy” You remember hearing John say, despite being relieved Bucky had showed up to save (or not save) the day

“Shut the hell up Walker” You had responded- right as Bucky….well…flipped the limo, sending you all unconscious, all awaiting into the hands of the Winter Soldier

Now, six months later, living in the same tower- breathing the same air- learning that he takes his coffee all black and he’s almost always buried in books or newspapers- You know that Bucky Barnes isn’t just a pretty face with a cute little bad boy attitude

He’s a man righting all the wrongs he never chose to wrong.

Somehow? It makes this all the more bittersweet. He just wanted to be a Congressman- because it was finally something HE got to choose- even if he was berated for his strange choice, and now he’s stuck back fighting more wars that aren’t his to fight, ripped from his campaign and position with the click of fingers- or cameras, should you say.

Even thought you were a vigilante, working for Valentina and doing things for money nobody should be doing, you always admired Bucky when he appeared on your television as an awkward freshman congressman with little to no words and more jaw ticking then answers

You admire the way he never had a nasty or controversial thing to say, part of you was sort of excited when you heard he had a particular interest in taking down Valentina De Fonte- your boss, part of you was scared too, that he would be your end.

Not physically of course, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he found out who you were and threw you behind prison bars, but he didn’t. He didn’t dare do anything to any of you- he could’ve- but he didn’t.

Last night you were avoiding everybody as per usual, studying on the towers balcony because fresh air is the best thing for a clear mind. It was cool, no need for light when you’ve got the city lights to use, no need for a blanket and no need for a fan. You realised that this might become your new study area- it’s perfect

You had decided to try and study law while doing all of this too- the whole ‘Avenger’ thing. It- definitely wasn’t easy, in-fact it felt near impossible sometimes- reading trials on your iPad while trying to take down some intergalactic space villain who’s trying to take over the world. Attending classes and having to rush out due to some global problem that ends up being Alexi not knowing how to use the new fancy coffee machine-

It’s all too much sometimes. Being questioned and made fun of by your fellow law students because of who you are and how badly your Avengers team has started going down with the press ever since Sam’s clear disapproval for the group-

Too much. Too fast.

So the balcony has become your safe haven, the one place in the tower you actually get to just- be, breathe, have some form of peace. The sound of sirens and honking and people below is your safety net- even if sometimes people call out at the tower because of you all who live inside it, some horrible, some not.

It was around 11:13, early for the others- late for you. On your third cup of coffee, some white noise playing on your phone while you studied for your upcoming exam- when the sliding door opened, quiet, reserved- yet loud enough that it caught your attention

Bucky stepped out, not noticing you yet, careful and light, holding a plant in his hands, wearing a simple black t-shirt and some dark grey sweatpants, hair longer then when you’d met him- face calm and soft, like he could finally let go of the stoic man you’re used to seeing, clearly used to being relaxed on his own and without the weight of everybody else on his shoulders

You watched as he placed the plant on the concrete table at the other end of the balcony, directly where the sun loves to shine- adjusting it so the leafs that were reaching out the most were in the shade to let the other smaller ones have a turn to shine.

Your heart was beating so fast you’re sure it was about to burst- how he grabbed a small water can from next to the tap- filling it up with water and slowly pouring it into his plant, slow and steady as to not over water it

“There you go” He murmured quietly, only meant for his own ears “I’ll get you some friends soon, as soon as I figure out how to take care of you”

He was so soft, so gentle, waiting until water begin to drain from the bottom of the plant until he finally set the watering can down, watching the plant silently, looking more reserved that you’ve ever seen, like a man who’s not holding onto the weight of his past for just a moment

You knew you should’ve stayed silent- maybe pretended you hadn’t noticed him- you couldn’t have snuck inside, he would’ve noticed you in the corner of his eye of course- but then- if that were true, how hadn’t he noticed you there yet?

“Does it have a name?”

He spun around as if you’d quite literally- shocked him. Eyes wide, hand instinctively gripping the balcony railing, back bumping the concrete table but not tipping it. You grimaced at the sight- probably not a good thing to do to a trauma ridden ex-Assassin…

“I didn’t know anyone else used this balcony…”

“I uhh- use it every morning” You mumble nervously “it’s the only place on this tower where I can get any quiet…”

He swallows, the gentleness vanishing and turning into his usual stoicism, hands awkwardly and instinctively reaching for the pockets of his leather jacket that he definitely isn’t wearing at the moment- so he opts for the pockets of his pants

“Your balcony too loud?” He offers awkwardly, eyes averting away and you nervously shift on the seat, you feel like you’ve been trapped into a corner

Maybe you jinxed yourself earlier when you said you wish the universe would shove him into your face- because now? You’re not used to socialising with him that it feels so strange and nerve wrecking

“Your balcony not big enough for your plant?” You offer back, not knowing what else to say, what else to do, where to put your hands or how to smile

“Doesn’t get sun” He says and you close your eyes for a moment- duh, his room is on the darkest side of the city- the side that never sees sun like yours does

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your space-“

“-I went for lucky.”

You were packing your things, ready to bolt and leave like you always do when Bucky Barnes is in proximity, when you smell his scent or hear his voice- and now? He’s the one heading to the door

“Pardon?” You mumble, bag halfway on your back- papers scattered in your hand- phone about to fall from your pocket

“My plant” He says softly, lingering halfway in and halfway out of the door “It’s name.” He simply says before stepping away, quiet and weightless

You were stunned. Frozen in place- bag finally falling from your shoulder, phone landing on the ground with a thud, papers slipping from your hands and scattering by your feet as your face turned red

Lucky?

God he’s adorable. The super soldier, 108 year old man with more baggage than an airport- is adorable.

You were quick to gather your papers, re-pocket your phone and pick up your bag, opting to evacuate the balcony in case Bucky came back to check on Lucky, blushing like a schoolgirl, butterflies in your stomach- horribly sweet smile on your face as you think about the fact that- that might be the first time you’ve actually talked to him about something other then saving the world, the weather, or the way Ava accidentally sleep-shifts

“Somebody’s got a crushhhhhhhh”

Re-dropping everything again- you’re horrified to find Yelena standing in the kitchen beside the balcony, tea in her hands, wearing a knowing grin as if she saw the whole transaction- and you know she did, unfortunately Bucky isn’t the only ex-assassin on the team

“I do NOT have a crush” You lie weakly. But six months of being under the same roof means she knows everything about you now, especially when you’re lying

“Come on” She scoffs playfully, rolling her eyes “Redder then a tomato, I bet you’ve got a zoo in your stomach-“ She makes a point to poke your side making you slap her hand away “Don’t be so embarrassed, It’s cute”

“Cute?” You scoff, placing your hands on your hips, ignoring your mess on the floor “Yelena nothing about this is cute-“

“-THIS? So you DO have a crush-“

“-please keep your voice down!” You beg, gripping her arms- tea not even flinching in her cup, she only smiles teasingly and tutters you

“My lips stay sealed? Hmm?” She winks “I’m no snitch, especially when it comes to uhh- what did you they call it back in his time? Oh yes…Courting”

“Lena” You groan, picking up your things one, last, time “Just drop this okay? Drop it” you say, walking away, leaving her grinning and of course, scheming.

Your heart flutters and you mentally beat yourself up for slipping up and allowing your feelings to get caught red handed. Maybe changing your schedule wasn’t a good idea- then again it’s not like Bucky taking care of plants was on his schedule either

Maybe if you had’ve been more careful, more stone faced, Yelena wouldn’t have found out

-

Three days later- you’re under fire, knives firmly in your hands while Yelena is above you- taking out drones with her gun, bricks and concrete dropping. Dodging them is a pain in the ass- but turning up with the wrong weapons is even worse

“I have to say- you’ve handled it well!” Yelena calls out over the ear piece, sounding mostly amused which nerves you as you’re busy trying not to get crushed to death.

Today was supposed to be a simple recon mission- Bucky and John were taking down enemies on the other side of the the building while you and Yelena were busy dealing with…Drones? For some annoying reason. Knives are kind of pointless against robots, especially flying ones

“Handled what?” You ask back on the ear piece, rolling just in time for Yelena to yell ‘SHIT’ as more of the buildings roof collapses- most likely due to whatever the hell Bucky and John are doing to take down the enemies across the building

“Your feelings!” She speaks hastily but also as if she has all the time in the world. You groan in annoyance, is she seriously talking about this right now? “It’s adorable really, I’ve seen it since he took us down the day we met- love hearts in your eyes” She giggles into the ear piece- legitimately giggles “You’re not very good at hiding it-“

“-okay I’m offended!” You call back out, urgently hiding behind a wall as drones begin shooting at you “I’ve done nothing but try to hide it, okay! I don’t look! I don’t go near him and I definitely don’t talk to him!”

“Babe, that’s even more obvious!” You watch her drop from the second floor- landing a few feet away, groans when she runs out of bullets. It’s your time to take over- catching the gun from her thigh holster she throws at you while she quickly ducks to reload her own gun “Fleeting glances? Feeling too nervous to be around him? All those romance novels make millions on that shit- you’re nothing but obvious”

Taking down drones left and right- you finally admit that she’s right. Maybe you’ve been too obvious while trying to be dead set inconspicuous

You never meant to avoid Bucky- well, maybe a little, but avoiding him seems more prideful then embarrassing yourself by saying the wrong thing

“Shit” You whisper to yourself, the word echoing on the ear piece

The roof finally collapses and you rush to Yelena, grabbing her arm as you both rush out of your side of the building that collapses just as you both jump to safety, landing two stories below, groaning and panting beside eachother

“You think Barnes doesn’t notice? Doesn’t look everytime you rush out like he’s a bomb about to detonate?” She pants out, rolling her side to look at you, rubble and dust coating her face “You’re hurting him ты идиот, He thinks you don’t like him, or worse- scared of him.”

Your heart sinks and you collapse fully onto your back, ignoring the headache- the forming dread in your stomach and the fact that John and Bucky’s side of the building is collapsing too- the both of them easily out of harms way, making their way to the jet to head home

“I’m not scared” You whisper to Yelena. You’re not at all surprised when she takes your hand and squeezes it supportively

“His birthday is next week you know?” She murmers softly, shrugging beside you “Maybe it’s finally time you jump head first, stop being so scared to just…be happy”

You hate the suggestion. Hate that you already know Bucky’s birthday like the back of your hand. Hate that you think about the plant- About his quirks and the idea of actually confessing to him about your feelings- but mostly?

You hate that….You’re going to do what she says.

-

You had spent the rest of the remaining week planning with Yelena, from what you were buying Bucky for his birthday up to what you were going to wear for the ridiculous extravagant party Valentina was throwing him for press and attention from the media despite the teams protests to let Bucky have a nice, stress free day.

The morning was casual. Pyjamas. Something silk- maybe a little teeth and tongue- you hated creating attention towards yourself- but you were okay if it meant that it was Bucky’s attention…or, maybe you weren’t, but you would be. This was all to ‘woo ’ him, or whatever Yelena mumbled about.

You had planned to be on the balcony, hopefully at the same time he’d come to water Lucky- but…he never came. For two hours you waited, sipping coffee and scribbling your notes about constitutional law- but he never came- and then you realised that maybe he was avoiding leaving his room due to the anxiety of the day being all about him, maybe he just wants peace- to be left alone

It aches to think about him being all alone when he should be celebrated and accepted, but you understood all too well the pressure attention can bring.

Afternoon swept around- he emerged from his room, jeans, leather jacket over the top of his black t-shirt, hair pulled back into a man bun and jaw clentched with irritation as he entered the kitchen where you were sitting at the counter, already stirring coffee

You hated the feeling in your stomach that he was preparing to be mobbed, that he glanced at you like he was waiting for something that wasn’t going to come- a ‘happy birthday’ wouldn’t hurt, right? Or maybe he’s hoping not to acknowledge the day at all

Despite your best efforts to remain silent, you can’t but offer a small smile even with his back turned and the sound of the kettle sizzling into his coffee cup

“One hundred and nine, huh?”

The silence is deafening. You hate how he freezes like you’ve struck him. How tension fills his posture and he deflates like a balloon. Setting the kettle down with a silent sigh

“Yep” He hums quietly, turning to face you. When he notices your smile- something he had never seen you wear so beautifully before since all you seem to do around him is run away and awkwardly grimace like his existence offends you- he can’t help but soften and realise that maybe you’re trying to be nice to him “Though technically, I’m only forty one”

You can’t help but smile more, loving how he can joke about his age and the fact that he doesn’t mind you talking to him about it either

“You don’t look a day over twenty”

That gets a laugh out of him. Surprising, Stomach fluttering- and beautiful. Something you wish you could hear on repeat for hours and hours.

“Yeah? Even with all the wrinkles and bad knees?”

“Especially then” You giggle back, the feeling so foreign with him yet so utterly natural it’s like it’s a common occurrence “Who on this team doesn’t have wrinkles and bad knees? John’s a dad- Alexi is heading into his elder title now, Yelena jumps from buildings all the time- Ava and Bob are constantly stressed out by Valentina and I’m so overwhelmed by this mid term I have coming up that I’m sure stress lines are now permanent on my face”

Bucky stares at you, hands curling into the counter behind him, coffee steaming and lips frowning a sort of pout that you just want to kiss away, then he shrugs softly and and grabs his coffee

“I guess I’m always thinking about my technical age that I forgot I’m only biologically a few years older then John” He admits, sipping his drink, the smell of it making a blush creep onto your cheeks because the smell of coffee will always remind you of the man standing infront of you “He’s what- 39? Served and was a Captian in the army, got married, had a kid, was Captain America- even if that was a fluke…And I’m only technically 41, with nothing to show for it-“

His vulnerability catches you off guard. You’re so used to his handsome scowl and professionalism that you’ve never once heard him talk about himself like this at all, though maybe that’s your fault, you’ve been so avoiding him worse than the plague that you’ve probably missed all the important moments

“-You served in World War Two and you were apart of the Howling Commanders. Not only did you survive Hydra and help take them down but you also helped defeat Thanos and bring back half of the worlds population, Bucky you…sell yourself short”

“I mean the simple stuff” He shrugs “The stuff that matters, the family- love- marriage and kids- that kind of thing. It sticks. It always sticks-“

John and Ava enter the room arguing before you and Bucky can continue your conversation and your heart sinks

Bucky offers you a one last glance and exits, nodding at John and Ava who mumble ‘Happy birthday fossil’ at the same time before bickering again.

-

His words swirl around your mind like a storm

‘the family- love- marriage and kids- that kind of thing. It sticks. It always sticks’

The vulnerability. The raw disappointment with himself. The self loathing for a life he never chose to live- the idea that he would’ve lived it so differently, with a wife back in the 40’s, maybe some Barnes running around

It’s all too much. To real. To raw.

You force yourself to enter the ‘gala room’ as Val calls it, wearing a dress too fancy for your liking and your hair down for once, sporting uncomfortable heels and lipstick that makes you feel like you’re already dreading the night. It all feels too little compared to Bucky’s words, to bittersweet, a party for a man who shouldn’t even be in this decade.

“Just remember- you have to try and sneak him out of the party” Yelena goes over with you again as crowds of people flood into the room, all dressed to impress because paparazzi and press will be here “This might be his birthday but it’s your night”

“Lena…” You say nervously as your eyes flicker between all the people and cameras. People already buzzing with alcohol and some even taking to the caterers. She grips your shoulders, shaking them to get your attention

“Get a grip! Your night, okay? Sneak him out. Give him the presents and tell him how you feel, just how we practiced yeah? I make distraction. You rush him out of here.”

It feels monumental, standing here with her while surrounded by a flood of people who don’t care about Bucky and only care about the fame and being seen interacting with heroes- attending a party for a man who was once Capitan America’s right hand man. For a man who wants a wife and family-

Yelena shakes you again- then cups your face, forcing your eyes to meet her own excited ones

“How will I know what the distraction is?” You ask, nervously shifting on your feet

“Oh trust me….” She grins, mischievous and knowing “You’ll know.”

You don’t like the sounds of that- but you also like the idea of not knowing- perhaps it’ll make the distinction more fun or noticeable- or maybe you just don’t want to know incase it’s something you definitely should not let go ahead

She’s walking away before you can stop or question her- and then you’re left on your own, dodging congress men and women. Purposefully trying to stay out of view from Valentina since she loves to parade you and the team around- But then you spot her…and her unfortunate victim

Bucky offers an awkward and uncomfortable smile, body tense, jaw clenched as he wears an elegant suit, bow tie tight and hair slicked back- impossibly neat. Valentina has her nails digging into his bicep, gripping it as if she had any right to do so

Infront of him are the press- asking questions that they have no right asking while Bucky lets Valentina handle it- clearly wanting to be anywhere else but there

Your heart beats faster, thighs embarrassingly pressing together at the sight of him. It’s one thing seeing him panting and restless during a mission- but like this? All neat and slick and shiny? Maybe you did make the right choice attending tonight

“Champagne?”

You grin as John hands you a glass without waiting for your response, leaning on the stair railing next to you, looking every bit of uneasy as you feel too, slacked in a half ironed dress shirt and jeans, clearly he didn’t feel like trying much

“Rough day?”

“Understatement” He bites back a scowl, downing his champagne in one go “You think Val dressed and dolled him up or you recon her assistant did that?”

You wince at his words

“Uhh neither?”

“Come on” John scoffs “Val’s up all our asses but Bucky? she has some sort of special thing for him or something” He says, shrugging with integrity as if anything he’s saying is right-

And it is.

Val has always been stranger with Bucky…more…influenced to be physical. Arm squeezes, gazing at him like she owns him- maybe it’s because of their shared history, him trying to take her down- maybe she’s just trying to stake her claim and remind him that she won, that he didn’t get the chance to take her down.

Or maybe-

“I agree with John” Ava says behind you, dressed in one of the waitresses uniforms so she can get by unnoticed by press and Val herself which is actually very smart and you’re mad you hadn’t thought of it fist “She’s touchier then a sensitive topic- and do you see the way she eyes his metal arm?”

“Val’s always like that-“

“-Look at the vice on her grip! Her feet are angled towards him!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“The theory about if somebody is into you their feet are always pointing at you-“

“-that is so dumb-“ You scoff, realising your feet are angled at where Bucky stands on the gala floor, hands clutching your champagne tighter with every second this horrible conversation lasts “This isn’t New Girl”

“-come on guys, it’s clear as day that it’s Mel” Bob cuts in shyly, appearing with Alexi by his side who’s giggling like a schoolgirl, clearly already halfway drunk

“Mel? Melissa? Val’s beloved assistant?” Alexi leans on the stairwell, his suit crumpled, balance worse then a toddlers “No no no, The Winter Soldier does not have time for all of that” He gestures to Mel “He would be more into- what is that they call it? Uhh! Cogars! You think a man from his time would-“ He hiccups “-Be into younger woman! No no no, the Winter Soldier is a cougar hunter- Val is his choice-“

“Cougar Hunter?” Ava scoffs with disgust

“Absolutely not” Bob shakes his head “Bucky and Val doesn’t even make any sense”

“Sure it does” John shrugs “Bucky would want a women who’s dangerous, lives on the edge” He gestures with his hands and your heart sinks

Dangerous? Lives on the edge?

You study law and watch plants as your hobbies- boring is basically your middle name- unfortunately you know deep down that Bucky would want a woman who’s unmovable, incapable of giving up or letting down

You’re the opposite of what he’d be into and as much as you hate to admit it- you just know.

The whole conversation is making you woozy- so much so that you’ve all been too busy gossiping to realise Val was making her way to you, Bucky beside her with a grimace and a look that says ‘please end my misery’

“Oh shit-“ Ava mumbles as you all try to scurry off- unfortunately too late as Val stops infront of you all and you all gather back together with smiles so fake they might as well be labeled plastic

“This is your fault” You whisper to John who huffs and nudges you with his shoulder which makes you accidentally nudge into Ava who then nudges you back- nudging Alexi in the process who then nudges Bob just for fun

“There’s my trusty superhero’s” Val says, fingers firmly around Bucky’s bicep as he stares off into space with the look of a man miles from this building “Come on, I want you all to make your rounds- Ava why are you wearing a waitress outfit? Anyway- I want to you all to make my people trust you-“

The lights go out. Rave music begins playing and a fire dancer appears in the middle of the gala making everybody gasp and turn to watch

Yelena is by the doors, holding a walkie talkie with a grin, clearing using it to communicate with the fire dancer and DJ

“This is your distraction, get moving little mouse” She mouths through the light of the fire and your eyes widen as you move before you think

“What the hell is this?” You hear Val whisper to Mel who’s desperately trying to figure out that exact question on her trusty iPad

Val let’s go of Bucky for just a moment, allowing you to swoop in and take his hand in yours, quickly leading him through the crowd of people

“Woah- okay-“ He murmurs behind you as you guide him to the exit of the doors, passing Yelena who winks at the both of you as you pass “What are you up to?” He asks Yelena as you push open the doors just as the lights turn back on and the fire dancer is escorted out by security, lead by Val who’s laughing nervously, trying to keep her cool

“Have fun, Birthday boy” Yelena simply says as the doors close behind you and Bucky.

The hallway feels loud in that eeary way. Sure- you and Yelena’s had planned everything…except for this, the whole after math part where you have to explain to Bucky how you’re a horrible communicator and you actually are only like a ticking time bomb around him because every aching minute you just want to jump his bones or kiss him breathless or admit that you’re pathetically in love with him

He looks at you with half admiration and half confusion, clearly still stunned about the fact that you and Yelena managed to pull something so elaborate off that you got him to slip away from Val for five seconds

“I’m assuming that was Yelena’s idea?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow

“Yeah” You smile shyly as you lead him down the hallway. He lingers by the closed doors, taking a minute to gather his thoughts before being tugged by you “You looked so miserable” You tease softly and he chuckles under his breath, a long flight away from his usual thousand yard stare “Didn’t think Val was going to let go at all tonight”

You hate the bitterness in your tone- the way you tense at your own remark as if you had any right to react like this

Bucky doesn’t respond and it makes your stomach sink- until you looking at him in your peripheral vision and notice the way his flesh hand nervously fixes the cuffs on his metal wrist, neatening his hair, trying to steady his breathing and your chest fills with hope

Is he trying to….impress you?

“I think I would’ve ended up faking a heart attack” He jokes and you chuckle, now nervous yourself, he hesitates for a moment, and then gently- ever so gently, you feel a coolness seeping between your fingers

Holy shit- you’ve been holding his hand this whole time!?

You completely forgot in the mitst of rushing him out of the gala like he was some damsel in distress- you hadn’t even had a second to let go. You blame your own selfish body and it’s wants and and needs, but….wait was he just adjusting his hold on your hand so your fingers are now intwining?

You meet his eyes and realise he had no intention of stopping, and god- you’re more than okay with that.

You fall into nervous silence as you reach the compound floor, messy in a neat way, windows still open allowing the cool air to seep throughout the floor

You sadly let go of Bucky’s hand only to allow him to take his suit jacket off, eyes never leaving yours

“I keep thinking about your words” You blurt out, nervously smoothing down your dress as he sets his suit jacket on the kitchen counter

“My words?” He opens the fridge to grab some water, grabbing two glasses

“About family, and love, and marriage, and-and kids” You mumble, turning red with embarrassment as he pauses what he’s doing to let out a shaky breath, placing the water down before looking up at you

“Not something you expected me to want?”

“No” You shake your head “I’m not sure it’s something any of us would admit to wanting- doesn’t mean half of us haven’t thought about it” You say quietly, sitting down on the couch as he grabs both glasses and moves to sit beside you

“It’s hard to want things you keep getting ripped away from” He admits, shrugging. You turn on the couch to face him, face softening with with confession as his eyes land on his hands “Congress wasn’t the best career choice for a man with my past” He begins “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it, even if I was uncomfortable because I can’t remember the last time I got to do something that I chose”

“You were good at it” You admit, sipping your water tentatively because if you don’t you might just reach out and touch him- do something but sit and act as if you don’t burn for him “I used to watch you on TV, how you acted, the way you spoke- nervous but correct” You shrug

“I was a mess” He chuckles and you laugh too, shaking his head as he shrugs “But I liked it. I really liked it. I liked doing anything other then fighting, then having to stop wars or creating more messes for the world to clean up” He sips his water, hand quivering with nerves “My point is…that job was my first bit of normal I’ve had in over decades, I saw myself…imagining things I never allowed myself to think about before, and then I became this and…it’s gone”

“It doesn’t have to be gone” You fight back softly, hand reaching for his own

For somebody who constantly avoids him. Refused to breathe in the same room as him and expected everything to be okay afterwards- bravery seems to be your bestfriend tonight.

You hate how confusion washes over Bucky’s face. How he politely doesn’t pull away from your touch but doesn’t lean into it either

“I thought you didn’t like me”

“What?” You mumble, partially shocked with how open he is about such a confrontational subject. Placing your water on the coffee table- his eyes meet yours and his face turns back to stoic. Back to the man you’re used to seeing, thousand yard stares and tension riddled within his body

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired, it’s been a long day” He sighs, pushing his hair from its face as his neat hair begins to grow weary “I kind of forgot what day it was” He chuckles, clearly not amused “Thankyou for being nice, it was good to talk to you”

“I’m not- this isn’t- I usually don’t-“

“-usually don’t ignore people and purposely go out of your way to avoid them?” He asks. Not harsh just…tired “I get it, no hard feelings, I’ll stay out of your way”

Your heart sinks when he stands. Falls even worse with every step away he takes away from you. How his head is hung low- the way he reaches for his suit jacket and doesn’t turn to look back at you to see if you’re affected at all by his departure- as if he expects you to not be, or worse, as if he expects you to be relieved

You let him go. For only a moment. Because his words- his vulnerability- the fact that it’s his birthday and all the feelings you’ve bottled up long before you met him finally come to surface, and then you’re finding your footing and rushing after him

Pride be dammed. You’re done pretending like you can live another day not knowing how he feels- how he tastes. If he likes his showers warm or cold. How he takes his nights- light on? Off, if he sleeps with his metal arm on or if he rests is on his bedside table

All the questions- all the selfish parts of you desperate to know all the answers- sure, he was right. It is his birthday, yes you are being nice to him and talking to him on this particular day- but it’s not a one time thing and it’s certainly not something you’re only doing to ‘be nice’ or ‘be charitable’

“Bucky!” You call out as he opens the door to his room- he turns, because of course he does, and his eyebrows knit together, blue eyes searching yours for answers you’re too out of breath give “You’re not an easy man to run after” you pant, shaking your head “Especially not in a dress and heels”

“Did I forget something?”

“No.” You take a deep breath “But I did”

Once again. His hand is in yours. And as much as he’d like to ease you away and promise you that you don’t have to prove yourself to him or continue to be nice just to make him feel better- he likes it. Likes how perfect your palm feels against his, how gentle you are and how determined you look to fix something he doesn’t need you to fix…even if he really wants you too deep down

He’s a little skeptical when you lead him towards the kitchen- even more so when you walk straight through it and to the balcony instead

The sliding door opens- Bucky expects to see nothing but stars and the moon- maybe you just needed fresh air and the only way to obtain that was by going to the balcony- but-

Balloons. Gentle hung fairy lights along the top of the balcony- small colourful banners along the balcony railing, and on the table- the table with ‘lucky’ on it…is some potting mix with a bow around it, some gardening tools, some seeds, and some pot plants- lots of them.

“I noticed you were afraid to get more plants because you’re scared that they’ll die” You explain nervously, fiddling with your fingers and only then does he miss the warmth of your hand in his “Lucky is all alone out here and looks like he needs some friends”

“You…you brought all this for me?” He ignores the way his words catch in his throat as if tears might take over, ignores the way his plant is left untouched- as if you knew it was something of his own and you wanted to support this hobby instead of taking over it, buying him the necessity’s for plants instead of buying him already potted and seeded plants, letting him choose what he wants to do

And right now? All he wants to do is to take you to his bedroom and give himself the birthday present he really wants

And by the way you’re looking at him- he’s assuming you want that too. The careful way you’re searching his face to see if he likes your gifts, the relief that crosses your face when his own eyes meet yours- the gasp that escapes your lips when his metal hand doesn’t reach for the plants- but reaches for you, cupping your cheek tenderly, thumb brushing across your skin that sends goosebumps across your arms

“I’m sorry” Your voice cracks through the silence, interlay sincere and apologetic “I was so scared of- of you or anybody finding out I-“ You shakily close your eyes “-I avoided you in order to keep myself from ruining you- ruining me- ruining the team-“

You expect him to interrupt, to tell you how you’re making no sense or call you out and tell you that he doesn’t want to hear it- but he’s listening, patient and understanding, eyes never leaving yours as his metal knuckles brush gently against your warm cheek

“Keep going” He encourages softly

“Yelena found out” You sniffle, because despite your best efforts- ever giving Bucky the impression that you dislike him in any shape of form breaks your heart, and you have nobody to blame for it but yourself “This whole night was a plan for me to confess my-“ Your breath hitches at your own words and then you remember everything

“The stuff that matters, the family- love- marriage and kids- that kind of thing. It sticks. It always sticks-“

“Val’s up all our asses but Bucky? she has some sort of special thing for him or something”

“Bucky would want a women who’s dangerous, lives on the edge”

All the conversations- all the realisations, all the haunted words lingering in your mind, your own insecurities and fears begin to surface right as the truth is on the tip of your tongue- and unfortunately tonight…you’re going to dissapoint Yelena

“Your?” Bucky brings you back to reality, and you realise that both of his hands are cupping your face now, grounding you when you hadn’t even realised you needed it

The way his eyes search yours- the way his face is mere inches away…hits something inside your brain that makes you finally realise…He’s scared too. Terrified, but because you can see that in his features- see that clearly something about this particular stance and conversation is affecting him-

It means he loves you too.

Maybe it’s not your smartest move- definitely your bravest, but not your smartest. Hands bracketing his shoulders, you lean in- and at the last second swerve from his lips and kiss his cheek instead, embarrassingly, slowly- so slow in fact that you’re sure a long ten seconds have passed

The feeling of scruff against your lips, how warm he feels- the warmth you’ve only ever imagined in your dreams

He doesn’t let you go very far when you pull back- his hands finding the back of your neck to pull you in for what might be the most delicate yet beautiful kiss you’ve ever experienced

Your heart is racing faster then formula one races, You’re not sure what to do with your hands so they slide down and grip his waist while his own hands move to pull you closer

You kiss him back tenderly, not daring to pull back in fear that this is some rouse or moment with a lapse of judgement

But when he backs you up against the balcony railing, the banner brushing your thighs as the kiss quickly turns heated? That’s when you know that there’s no lapse of anything, no miscommunicating this kiss

It’s real, and it is wanted.

“Bucky” You whisper as he pulls back for a breath, forehead resting against yours, chest heaving as he looks into your eyes, fingers moving to run through your hair

“Tell me what you had planned for this night” He murmurs quietly, tenderly brushing his nose against yours

“Confessing my feelings for you” You finally admit, fingers tightening on the back of his dress shirt

He kisses you again, hands moving to pick you up by your thighs making you gasp, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck

“Tell me you want this” He pleads, kissing you again, and again, and again

Your only response is the swipe of your tongue along his bottom lip and your own fingers moving to mess up his hair, the smell of him filling your nose and making your thighs instinctively squeeze around his hips making him groan into the kiss

His tongue quickly meets yours in an eager ‘hello’, you’ve never been more turned on in your life and you now know that there’s no questioning his feelings or your own

“Please Buck” You whisper, pulling back, lips swollen, aching to be touched by him in the way you’ve desired for over six months, wishing to know if he tastes sweet or salty, if his metal hand will feel better then his flesh one

Nothing in this moment can stop what you both need now, and the way his grips your thighs just a little bit tighter and grinds against you with furrowed eyebrows clearly shows that he needs you just as desperately

You do not need to beg or plead much longer, he’s already striding back inside the tower with purpose, you in his arms and his steps echoing within the silent floor

He kisses you again before you even make it to his bedroom, both of you now needy and uncaring of how unhidden you’re being- your back softly hits his closed door while his metal hand pulls away from your thigh just long enough to fumble with the handle of the door, opening it with a chuckle into the kiss when he nearly loses his balance

He kicks the door shut and moves to set you on his bed, pulling back to take off his dress shirt- his eyes never leaving yours

Your breathing hitches at the captivating sight, hands steadily moving to run across his chest, not daring to look away for a moment as your fingers trace his scars, sitting up to press a tender kiss to where his neck meets shoulder, lips moving around the delicate chain of his dog tag that hangs perfectly between his pecs

When you pull back only to look into his eyes and see that you hadn’t crossed any line- his blue is almost completely gone, pupils blown wide with lust and want that makes your body ache with need

You stop him when he reaches for your dress- shaking your head as you pull him closer by his pants until he’s straddling your hips

“Birthday boy gets a birthday present” You say, fingers already fumbling with his belt, still in awe with how quickly this night escalated

“You are my birthday present” He argues weakly, hands on either side of your head as his hair begins to fall infront of his face. You make quick work of his belt and then make quick work of tenderly pushing his hair behind his ears

“Let me taste you” You insist softly. He doesn’t argue, doesn’t tell you that he doesn’t need you to offer to do anything you don’t want to simply because it’s his birthday- because truthfully, the hungry look in your eyes is all the proof he needs to know that this is what you want

His breathing hitches when your fingers tangle in his belt- undoing it with shaky hands before sliding it out of his pants

His hands cover yours and gently guide you- easing your nerves and reminding you to stay grounded in the moment

“Don’t disappear on me” He coaxes softly as your fingers finally unzip his pants, his hands move to push your hair behind your ears, thumbs brushing across your temples as you shove his dress pants down, allowing him to stand up and shove them off leaving him in nothing but his boxers

“You…..you’re big” You mumble, seeing his length through his boxers which are now noticeably tight and showcasing everything

He blushes, glancing down at himself before looking back at you, hands moving awkwardly to his hips

“We don’t have to do anything you-“ His breath catches when you finally pull yourself together and shove his boxers down, pulling him closer by his thighs until the tip of his cock is inches from your face

He gasps as you start with kisses around his cock, brushing your lips along his thighs- marking him with faint lipstick that you’re shocked is still there after he kissed most of it away

His metal fingers hesitantly tangle in your hair and immediately sends a jolt between your legs- now you’re just interested in tasting him

The tip of his cock leaks onto your tongue the moment they collide, swirling around the sensitive head and tasting all he has to offer, salty yet not overly so. He tastes better then you imagined, so much so that you’re licking the underside of his cock while he mutters under his breath and tries to hold his cool

Pulling back only to plunge between his legs and lick a stripe along his balls- he gasps immediately, fingers tightening in your hair as he bites his bottom lip

“Sweetheart-“

You moan around his orb, swirling your tongue around it and watching as his cock leaks profusely, pulling back with a gentle smile before taking his cock back into your mouth again

Your fingers wrap around the base of his shaft, pumping it experimentally before getting the hang of moving your hand and using your mouth on him

There’s not much of him you can fit in your mouth of course- he makes it to the back of your throat and he’s not even halfway in yet, but you don’t mind- and he doesn’t seem to mind either by the way his head falls back and he lets out a groan so wrecked you suck harder just to coax another one out of him, and it works.

Bobbing your head, both hands now tangled in your hair, he spreads his legs wider and begins slowly thrusting his hips- not enough to give it to take over- just enough to help you multitask in his pleasure

“God- just like that doll” He groans, biting his lip as he watches you look up at him through your eyelashes “So pretty for me, pretty lips wrapped around me- fuck that feels so good”

His praises send your hand between your legs until you make contact with your wet heat through your panties, rubbing yourself, jerking the base of his length while taking his gentle thrusts into your mouth

Bucky’s never seen something so beautiful- so raw and intimate it makes him realise just how close he already is to cumming down your throat. You feel it too, in the way his hips stutter and his cock throbs in your mouth. He tries to pull back- much to your dismay

“I don’t mind” You mumble, thumbs stroking his thighs

“You….want me to-“

“-Please” You plead, nodding as you open your mouth again

He bites his bottom lip with lust as he guides his cock back into your mouth, thrusting his hips again and groaning, holding the back of your head- fingers gripping and twirling your hair softly

Within a minute you feel the warmth of him hit the back of your throat. Some spills out the corner of your mouth as you try to keep up and swallow it all- he looks awestruck and also guilty as he slowly pulls out, wincing as you choke a little but offer him a smile when you finally swallow it all

“You okay?” He asks tenderly, leaning down to kiss you before you can answer. He groans- tasting himself on your tongue as he slowly lies you down on his bed, happily falling on top of you

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time” You admit, pulling back to look into his eyes, your hands resting on his lower back “A good birthday present I hope?” You joke and he cracks a smile

“It was” He kisses the corner of your mouth “But what I really want- what would make this day the best birthday ever-“ He kisses down your neck, over your breasts through your dress making your breathing hitch “Is tasting you”

You don’t have a moment to collect your thoughts before he’s maneuvering you around- hands bracketing your thighs and immediately twisting you to lay on your stomach

His fingers make quick work of unzipping your dress and pulling it down, chest pressed to your back as he kisses along your bare shoulders with every inch revealed, smiling against your skin when your thighs instinctively press together

“Relax for me, I’ve got you” He coos softly, finally peeling your dress down your legs until it hits his floor beneath. Only then does he gently turn you back onto your back, taking all of you in

“I- didn’t expect this tonight” You admit with embarrassment as you look down at your boring panties and bra- nothing like lingerie or lace in sight, just plain old garnets covering your skin

You gasp when he surprises you by reaching underneath you, unclasping your bra before kissing you tenderly

“You could be wearing an inflatable dinosaur costume with a trash bag on underneath and I’d still find you the most enduring, beautiful, earthly woman I’ve ever met”

Your fingers move to his hair as he kisses down you stomach, pausing to take in your breasts before placing a kiss to each nipple making you gasp

“What about the ones you haven’t met?” You tease and he smiles agaisnt your nipple, looking up at you through his eyelashes

“You’re testing me doll” He whispers, kissing both nipples making you blush deeply. He trails his kisses down your stomach, looking up at you as he does so “I don’t see any other woman whenever you’re in my facinity” He murmurs, fingers smoothly pulling your panties down “I never see anybody else but you”

You gasp when he throws your legs over his shoulders and immediately dips down- tongue snaking between your folds with a hunger so eager it already has you arching- fingers moving to grip his hair

“B-Bucky-“ You gasp out in pleasure- shuddering as he circles your hole with his tongue before slipping a finger inside, sucking on your clit while he does so “Oh- oh right there-“

“-Here?” He murmurs into your flesh, tongue greedy and finger moving in and out, preparing you for god only knows what comes after this “Need another one doll?”

“Please” You whimper out, tugging a little harder on his hair as he adds a second finger inside of you, grinning into your heat smugly when you spread your legs wider with desperation, clenching around his fingers making him groan with pleasure into you

You’re a whimpering mess when he pulls his fingers out and plunges his tongue deep inside you, he’s quick to change the silence- making you gasp loudly when he suddenly flips you both over, hands gripping your hips until you’re now straddling his face, thighs on either side of his head

He pulls you down firmly onto his face, not allowing any other air then you to seep into his lungs, guiding you to move your hips with his hands while watching you with his darkened eyes

“B-Bucky-“ You moan, grinding your hips as he laps at your heat like a man gone mad, eyes squinted with lust- one glance over your shoulder and you see him already hard, leaking at the tip merely from eating you out

You cum the moment he swirls his tongue around your clit and murmurs ‘smother my face doll’, fingers digging into his palms that quickly move to steady you by your wrists, holding you upright as you fall apart on his face

He only removes you from off of him once you’re shaking and overstimulated, helping you onto your back beside him while you’re busy panting with shock and pleasure

“Still with me pretty?” He coos softly, swiftly moving behind you, kissing up your spine

“Barley”

“Hey- you wanna stop? We can stop”

“I don’t want to stop” You reassure softly, gripping his greedy hand that slides along your stomach as his hips bracket your own from behind, guiding his hand to your lips to kiss, kissing each knuckle and scar, not stopping until he turns your head to kiss you, stubble scratching deliciously

“How do you want me?” He asks softly, not daring to peel his eyes away from your own, kissing your jaw- cheek and chin, slow and steady, allowing you to recover with his tenderness and patience

“Whatever the birthday boy wants”

He smiles against your chin and gently helps you onto your back, moving between your legs, hands on your knees- leaning over to his drawer, and that’s when you notice him falter, freezing like he’s not sure what to do

“You okay?” You ask softly, scared that he’s overthinking this, or realising that he doesn’t want this after all-

“-I don’t….I haven’t- I don’t have any condoms” He murmurs nervously- or in embarrassment perhaps “Haven’t needed one”

“You’ve been celibate all this time?” You ask a little too bluntly and watch as he smiles in embarrassment, hands still on your knees but less so “I’m not meaning it like that- I just mean you’re so- you and- and how could any girl not have climbed you like a tree yet?”

He chuckles dangerously handsomely, shaking his head with amusement as his hair falls over his face and his dog tag glints with the moonlight

“You’re the first woman I’ve wanted since 1930” He admits softly, pouting his lips in thought “I’m not exactly an open book”

Leaning up- kissing him softly, he melts into you immediately and frowns when you pull back

“I’m on the pill, I’m sure we’ll go okay”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod. Laying back down as he kisses both of your knees and settles back between your legs

“You’re so beautiful” He praises as he guides the tip of his cock along your folds, coating himself in your wetness, groaning with pleasure when it nudges along your clit

“Buck-“ you moan, hips instinctively grinding against him until he finally pushes inside you, slow and steady

You both gasp- his fingers tangling with his own as he pushes further and further inside you

“God you feel-“ He cuts himself off with a groan, gasping when he’s fully seethed and meets your own dazed out eyes, clearly to drunk on him inside of you to care about anything else “Oh baby”

The nickname sends butterflies wild, you’re sure your cunt clenched around his cock with approval- and by the way he curses under his breath- you know you’re right

“You’re so- so-“

“-Use your words pretty girl” He teases, thrusting slowly, hands never leaving yours as his hair falls further into his face and his dog tag hits his chest with each thrust “That’s it sweetheart- keep your legs up for me”

Your legs oblige at his words as they seem to move on their own, spreading wider so he can hit deeper- thrust faster

“Bucky” You moan, arching your back as your eyes roll back- the moment his cock brushes your g-spot you feel like you could cum right on the spot

“Right there doll?” He asks, thrusting deeper- faster. Your breath gets caught in your throat when he leans down to fuck you harder, your leg hiking around his hip as he hungrily kisses you, never faltering his movements

You moan into the kiss, pulling your hands away from his own to dig your nails into his back making him groan with pleasure

You gasp in protest when he pulls back- immediately your cunt drips with excitement when he flips you onto your stomach and then helps you onto your hands and knees- immediately sliding back into you

“Fuck sweetheart” He groans, hands gripping your hips, cock nudging your spot deeper this way “You feel like home”

He spreads your legs wider and starts thrusting, his hips meeting your ass with each thrust, he leans down, kissing along your spine, dog tag brushing your skin as the room echos with your moans, his hands move to knead and squeeze your ass cheeks, giving a gentle snack making you clench around him

“I’m- I’m so-“

“-Me too” He promises, speeding up, hand snaking around to rub your clit in fast circles enough to send you spiraling. You clench around his cock as you cum, falling face first into the mattress as you shudder with pleasure. He thrusts a few more times before pulling out at the last minute and cumming onto your lower back, gripping your hips gently to stabilise himself “I’m sorry”

“Don’t apologise” You mumble as you weakly push yourself back onto your elbows while he immediately moves to grab tissues and clean you both up

He lays down on his bed, pulling you into his chest, apologetically kissing your head as if he had done anything wrong

“Stay the night?” He asks, metal fingers brushing along your bare back making you smile into his chest, nodding

“Least I could do”

He chuckles at your words and fluffs both pillows, helping you lay on the other side before you cuddle up again, his chest to your back, his nose brushing the back of your head, dog tag cool against your warm skin

“Can I tell you something?” He asks reluctantly and you nod tiredly, loving the feeling of his metal hand on your stomach while the warmth of him contrasts to the coolness of it “I don’t have feelings for you” He murmurs- quickly continuing before you can spiral into embarrassment or fear “I’m in love with you”

Your breathing stops and you close your eyes for a moment before opening them again to make sure this is real- that this isn’t a dream

“I…I’m in love with you too” You admit softly, feeling his chest relax with relief “If tonight wasn’t any hint of that then I’m not sure what is” You tease and he smiles against your head

“All this time…” He trails off, shaking his head “It doesn’t matter anymore, nothing else matters but this” He whispers, pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade “Best birthday ever doll, thank you.”

-

The next morning when you wake- Bucky is gone. The emptiness on his side of his bed is prominent- the sight of his wrinkled sheets and used pillow- but no him.

He’s left his clothes neatly folded on the nightstand beside you and you can’t help but smile and smell his shirt- asking the scent of his cologne before you slowly pull his shirt and a pair of his boxers on

It’s 6:23am so nobody should be awake to catch either of you- you can only imagine the scandals the team would have to say if they ever caught you in Bucky’s clothes

You exit his room, smiling at his bed one last time and praying to the gods that you’d end up sharing it with him permanently with time to come before you make your way around the compound quietly, checking the gym- the living room, your room- and lastly…the kitchen

You spot him through the glass doors, broad muscles on show for you and you alone, he looks so peaceful- so unlike the thousand yard stare man you’re used to seeing on his handsome face

And last night? That was a brand new Bucky that you’ve never seen before, and you loved it.

Stepping onto the balcony- you spot Bucky by his plant, blushing furiously with a smile as you realise he’s setting up the other plant pots you brought him- adding seeds and soil and watering them, putting them on the sunniest side of the table

“There you go” He murmurs to himself, softly patting the leafs “Now you have some friends Lucky”

Stepping up behind him, he immediately senses your presence. A blush creeping along his cheeks as he notices you wearing his shirt and a pair of his boxers

Your smile eases his uncertainty and he reaches for you, pulling you into his side, nose brushing your temple before pressing a gentle kiss there, your arm slipping around his waist like it belongs there

“Did you name them?”

He smiles against your temple, then tips your head back- fingers under your chin so he can press his lips to your own, tasting you- allowing himself to sink in the feeling of his new normal- his dream come true

Somebody clears their throat and you and Bucky pull away from the kiss- your faces flushed at the sight of being caught red handed by Yelena who’s standing in the kitchen with a grin, a clear view of the two of you while she bites into her avocado toast

“Good birthday Barnes?” She teases and Bucky’s metal hand finds your hip, thumb brushing back and forth as he smiles awkwardly at Yelena

“I owe you” He simply responds and Yelena winks, using her coffee cup to ‘cheers’ you both as she struts away with her breakfast, singing

“You owe her huh?” You tease him and his eyes meet yours as he smiles, kissing your nose

“She helped push you into my direction” He murmurs affectionately, kissing you again- slowly, tenderly, so full of emotions that it makes your heart race. Your hands move to wrap around his neck and his fingers tangle in his hair “Maybe…I can finally have those things that stick”

“The family? The wife?” You whisper hopefully, breath hitching as he nods, sure, affirmative yet nervous

“Only if you’d want that, only if you’d ever have me like that-“

“-In every timeline.” You cut him off “I want it all with you, whatever life gives us, yes. Everything-“

He kisses you passionately, hands bracketing your thighs until they’re wrapped around his waist and your own fingers cup the back of his head

You pull away this time to rest your forehead against his as he looks up at you, eyes watery with hope and fear, but most of all- love.

“I love you” He whispers softly, terrified that this is all a dream