#whatdoichoose

So currently I’m being guilt tripped into going and seeing some family, when they all know that I am trying to study for finals. Through the years of school my entire family has pushed me always telling me “School come first.” But now they are currently tell me “Family comes first.” 

To bring you in to the fold, into my trust -- I must tell you how I was raised. I was raised by a community. My mom was a single mother always telling me to make something of myself, to be selfish, to fight for what you want. 

You know what I want right now? My fucking degree. I put my life on hold for a year to help stabilize my family after my mother passed away. And now, my family has turned their back on me because I look like my mother, I act like my mother, I have my mother’s morals burned into my skull. For the past three years I have been on my own, fending for myself. Now my family is yet again requesting that I help them after three years of their backs being turned from me. No one willing to help me. 

I love my family, I always will. But they need to understand that just because they are family and need help -- it doesn’t mean I’m going to drop everything to go visit with them. They never dropped anything for me. Not once since Mom passed. 

So I’m going to choose my degree over my family right now.