#welpe

(bonus for welpe nation)

av11: lemahieu once again failing to give me my contract mandated cuddle time. 🤬

djl26: we have a volpesitting roster and i'm not on it today. go bother rodon.

mf34: hey how i get on this roster??

aj99: trust me, you don't want this job

av11: 🥲🥲🥲

aw28: hey judge you remember that time you got too baked and tried to talk me into being al borland for halloween?

aj99: ha. yeah, good times

aw28: al borland is a good role model. great with a hammer.

av11: go on baby stand up for me

aw28: besides, getting on the volpesitting roster gives him an excuse to hang out with rodon. and with that beard god damn who can blame him

gs27: i take it back, i am no longer the best wingman on this team. wingmanning, threats of physical violence, calling my mans handsome on main? respect.

aj99: disappointed in you man. i though you being around all the time meant you'd make the kid better, not that he'd make you worse!

And finally, Volpe!

Condescending asshole, at least when someone pisses him off. He’s really good at not showing it, and instead will just laugh and make them feel crazy. He takes ‘gaslight gatekeep girlboss’ to heart.

He’s the biggest trash talker since Bryce Harper. But he gets away with it because he’s a manipulative son of a bitch who manages to make the other person angry first so he isn’t technically in the wrong despite having clearly goaded them into it. But once he has an excuse, he will day the nastiest shit.

He’s very clingy and affectionate. Physical affection is very important for him.

He isn’t embarrassed about caring about people. He will say the most touching thing you’ve ever heard without any shame. He would also rather die than cry in front of someone.

He’s accepted that he’s not funny and leaves that to Austin, who is a lot funnier than him.

He is spiritually somewhat of a leader for the team despite it only being his 3rd year in the league. He just genuinely cares about his teammates and goes out of his way to be a great teammate, and so he’s earned their respect.

Will not celebrate his achievements at all until they win it all. But he will certainly beat himself up for his shortcomings in the regular season even if they don’t end up mattering.

Guys he’s a bottom. Be real with yourselves. But he’s definitely not a sub, he’s more of a ‘topping from the bottom’ type thing.

He’s also a freak and convinces Austin to put up with it

He’s very babygirl but it’s unintentional and he hates it.