Let me out of this place. Everything seems to be well, but in reality everything is spinning, every little detail of life is not right. At moments I am happy with life, I'm happy about where I am, and how I've gotten here. In the same thought I feel terrible, not because of one thing. Just overall the things that have happened. I can't stick around, I thought I could, but the truth is I need to go. I need to get out of here. The thoughts that run through my head are unbearable. I love my friends, but I no longer want to be around them. I'm not saying I'm better off alone, but at the moment its better than whatever "this" is. I don't want to go look for love either. I'm not ready, and the more I stick around with you I can't do it. The thoughts flood my head. Everytime. "Kiss her." "Hug her." "Feel her." Love her." "Don't let her go." But I know I have to. Eventually. I'm not one to give up, but I can't stick with something that will break me completely. I want to keep her as a friend but the thoughts of things we used to do. The things I want to do are... well it doesn't matter. My friends all they do is smoke weed. Yea we go out and have fun without it. Sometimes it just feels like that's what would end up keeping us around. The only thing I know is that I can at least trust them more than anyone else. They will have my back no matter what. Life throws some interesting things at you, I guess it's how you overcome them right?

5.) When The Lizzie Bennet Diaries ended I promised myself not to rewatch it until the DVDs arrived - maybe not my best decision. *sigh*