3/16/25
189.9
I am sighing in relief as the terrible bloating I have been experiencing dissipates. The doctor says I am going thru perimenopause, but that is a huge weight fluctuation and is very uncomfortable.
Uncomff.
I am done with my class and I gave myself a day to fuck off. I am going to get to chores now, my house is a pit of despair.
To everyone out there.... this is a long process. This is the first time in my life I have had a smidgen of success. The only way I am getting thru is literally to keep resetting.
I am now the weight that most people start at. But it doesn't matter, I am just going to keep moving forward and not give up.
Focusing on health, happiness and balance.
I am so proud of myself for not going ham on the cake last night and not allowing a metric ton to come home with me. I don't know why I did not grow up with a capacity for moderation. It seems weird to be learning moderation in my 40's. But I am going to keep working on it.
It's ok to have cake.... just not the whole cake. It's ok to have a little bit. The party should be more about people and presence than food.
I am giving myself grace and compassion ✨️ for all my flaws and working on moving forward.
You were doing the best you can. Keep working on it 💪 you deserve a healthy life ✨️ and love ❤️ and compassion and grace. You are not a total screw up.
There were 2 birthdays 🎂 I started with 1 piece of cake and 1 piece of the cookie cake. There was a big emergency so I stayed longer than planned. When I got hungry again, I had cool ranch doritos (my favorite), some queso potato chips (to try), an apple, & another piece of the cookie cake.
I took a shot of ACV to get the taste of sweet out of my mouth. I took 1 piece of each home for mom. All these things are wins. This is a lot of yapping to say to all the folks with a higher starting weight..... you got this. You will learn from mistakes. Just keep going. You deserve the life you are dreaming of- playing with your kids, not getting winded on the stairs, maybe even a bikini or flattering swimsuit. You are greater than your obstacles. You deserve to love yourself enough to do better. Things will turn around. The process may be longer than social media would have you think but it doesn't matter, the time will pass anyway.
In my 30's at one of these birthday parties in March, I was 317 pounds and miserable. I couldn't imagine living another 10 years. I feel so much better. Take care of yourself. Go for walks. You are worthy of love & self-love














