#wedding2017

So, here’s what’s been happening since my last entire.

This just continues from the last entire as I’m writing all of this after I got back to the UK: the previous one, this one and the next entire. These are the only once so far that have been written in one day.

So, after the Easter day my mum went full wedding mood. Everything she did after that was for the wedding. I didn’t know that she had been in wedding mood for a while now, she just paused for the holiday. So, from Monday till Wednesday I became the driver. I would pick up and drop of everything that my mum would need. It was a little tiring but this was a wedding, I knew I would have to work. Thursday was a pre-wedding event. This one was at our house and it was just for women. I didn’t know my mum had invited 120 people so by lunch our house was over run. People where packed, our house couldn’t handle 20 people non-the less 120, but my mum said if you cared about someone you just wanted to be around them, the space didn’t really matter. Guess she was right. We were all running around so me and my little brother didn’t have lunch till like 4. Partly it was our fault, we wanted to go out for lunch and we couldn’t do that till the work load had decreased, but as soon as it did we ran for it. We went to Sishu. An amazing burger place which was a little expensive for Addis but there is a good chance that it’s the best burger place in town so it was worth it. There I opened Pandora’s box. I started asking my little brother about school and his friends. I came to understand that 17 years old isn’t little anymore. He told me about things I wish I could forget it was traumatizing. He was no longer a kid, I knew that I just never really processed that. The more we talked the more I wanted to jump out of the car. But, I was really glad he could talk to me about this stuff, it took a little pushing now and again but he told me a lot. I could have gone another few years without knowing those things but I’m happy he trusts me enough to tell me those things.

Then without a warning it was Saturday, it was the day of the wedding. This was such a long day. We had to wake up at 4 and start our day. We ran around finishing last minute errands, I ended up having to drop from the ox meat to the hotel. Let me explain this better. See here people eat raw beef. That pretty normal but it still makes me a little queasy. But on Friday my uncle managed to get export quality beef, this meant a 500kg ox. Only thing is that so that’s its fresh they had to buy the ox and do the butchering the day of the wedding. So, at 5am on Saturday day my mums brother uncle brought the butcher and they did what they had to. I couldn’t look. But by 10 am it was time for the meat to be taken to the hotel. This task feel to me because I had the pick-up that day. Me and the butcher had to carry the meet into the car and I had to take it to the hotel. The hotel was 10 minutes away so it wasn’t too bad, yet I was still a little annoyed. I wanted nothing to do with this but it was my aunt’s wedding and I was the only one that could have done it at the time. But anyway, I let it go and delivered the meat at the hotel and came back home. As soon as I got home I got dressed ( I looked hella sexy in my 3-piece suit) and I told the people that where in house that I was the one taking them to wedding and we headed out.

The day was just getting started. As soon as I got to the hotel gate the security started making a fuss of the traditional drink I was delivering to the ceremony. I told him we should talk inside after I dropped the people in the car, they were older women and shouldn’t have to get stuck in car while we talked. He agreed. I dropped the women off and as I was parking my car my dad saw me. He wasn’t happy that the drink wasn’t already delivered and being served. As I was explaining to him what was happening one of security guards come up and said “you can’t bring that in”. First thing that came to me as he said that “you F***ed up man”. My dad doesn’t take kindly to “you can’t”. It can be anything, he hates it when people say it, especially if they don’t know what they are talking about. So as soon as he heard that my dad lost it, turned around and screamed “Really? And you are going to stop me? STOP ME.” I knew what was happening so I handed over the car keys and took a few steps back. Poor security guard didn’t know what he had done. He started to talk but I didn’t hear a word he said I was more focused on my dad jumping into the car. As soon as the guard saw this he turned to me and said “is what he doing right? This is not what supposed to happed. Let me explain to you..” I cut him off. I smirked. I wasn’t stupid, I’m not going anywhere close to my dad. I said “I’m only the driver, I don’t know anything”. This poor security guard kept digging a hole for himself, he turned around to my dad and screamed “Sir, do not move! Don’t move this car. You can’t bring this drink into this place.” I just stepped away. There was no way my dad was going to listen. He started the engine of the car, turned around and said, “Stop me and I will have you fired” and drove to the back of the hotel. I just walked away. I knew that we had already talked to the mangers about the drink. It had already been paid for and been allowed. And what’s worse was that the manger was close friend to the family. My dad has known him for years. The security guard didn’t know that, and I didn’t know how to tell him that, plus the wedding had my dad stressed so this poor guy just happened to poke the bear. Later, he saw me walking around and called me to talk me. He said the cutes dumbest thing ever, he looked straight at me as said “Just because he is wearing a suit he thinks he is better than me? I have a suit too. I’m just not wearing it. He has no respect.” I smiled and walked away.  I was thinking to myself “Really? If only he knew the things I did. My dad was just annoyed. You’re lucky he wasn’t really mad” and I went on with my day.

This is when the wedding takes a left turn for me. For the first 3 hours of the wedding I oversaw the plates at the buffet. Like every close family member, I had to work to make the day pass smoothly. I had to count and make sure the catering staff don’t charge us extra for the plates by saying we used more than we had. I stood there until 450 people finished being served and verified the plate count. Then I went up to enjoy the remainder of this wedding. Or so I thought. Maybe a half an hour after I left the buffet my mums uncle gave me another task. Take the remaining meet back home and get it refrigerated. This wasn’t a hard task, people had already loaded it on the car and there were people back home to unload and refrigerator it. But I just didn’t want to leave yet, so every time he asked I would make up an excuse: ‘car keys weren’t with me’, ‘need to tell my mum something’, ’on my way out now’. Finally, he got frustrated and told my dad. Total d**k move by the way. My dad found me and told me head out, so I did. As soon as I found the car and was about to leave, my mums uncle, same guy, asked if I could drop him o, his friends and the butchers (also his drinking buddies) off at their neighborhood. I hated this. I knew that this meant I was going to miss the ending of the wedding but I couldn’t say no, my dad had asked me to do this. This made me so angry, and when I get angry and don’t have a way to let it out I get teary and start to shake. The whole ride back my face was just full of tears and me randomly cursing things out. I couldn’t believe I came here for the wedding and ended up missing it.

To make things worse 50m from my house the neighbors had blocked the road for a party and they were cleaning up. I couldn’t handle it. I just wanted to get home and let this day be over.  While I was waiting for the neighbors to move the chairs and let me pass another neighbor comes up to talk to me. He is an old retired man that used to be cornel in the army. He is a very chatty neighbor and I’m sure doesn’t have couch at home because he always just standing outside his door, every time I leave the house he is there waving.   Anyway, he was so drunk that night he was just talking shit. He came and told me that “I could not pass” he said to leave my car here and go. I was not in the mood for this bullshit. He kept saying things I wasn’t in the mood to hear, “what if they say they won’t move it, then what? So just leave your car here and I will get people to look after it” or “you’re just being disrespectful and you sound uneducated leave the car here and go”. This drove me insane but I couldn’t say anything, he was an old man and worse my parents neighbor. After 10 minutes of this crap, his daughter come out and took him away and apologized on his behalf. I didn’t really care for it, I wasn’t mad at him I just didn’t want to talk to him.

Finally, I got home, I was the first one in. A few minutes later my mum, dad and little brother followed. And then just like that all that pent-up anger bubbled up. I started getting teary and shaking. Told them what happened and told them I never wanted to see or hear from my mum’s uncle again. I was so furies I said if he ever asks me to do anything for him again I would hit him. Big mistake. As I said this everyone else walked in. My uncles, my aunt and bunch of other family members. They had heard enough for it to have made sense. They were not happy with me. My uncles took me to my room and talked to me for an hour. They told me how this uncle ( my mums uncle I had to drop off) was d**k, but only to the people he loves. They told me how he would never, even if his life depended on it, ask his niece and nephews (my mums cousins) for anything. They kept talking about how he spoke highly of me and my brother and that he only did this because he loved us. Not going lie at this point I wanted to say, “that’s what someone that being abused tells themselves to make themselves feel better” but I wasn’t stupid. I just smiled and nodded. I didn’t know which parts of what they were saying was true and which parts where the lie you tell someone to calm them down. It didn’t really matter. Most of what I had said was just because I was angry. I am not really going to hit a family member, non-the less a family member that is in his late 50-60’s not sure. But I did learn something about everyone that day. The family really took care of one another. The way they described him, all of them hated him. I have seen him insult and belittle them yet here they stood there arguing for him telling me to calm down and that I was wrong. The wedding was shit, but that moment opened my eyes, made me grow up of sorts.

So, after the wedding ceremony there, is two more official ceremonies left, and like whatever number more unofficial ones. I stayed for one more official one. The one on Monday, it was a dinner party, with only 150 people. And it went off without a hitch. We ate and danced and didn’t even work. The highlight of the evening was the dancing. I can’t dance our traditional dance and that’s sucks specially for this night as I couldn’t seat it out. Whenever my uncles and aunts went on me and my little brother followed. It was a sad attempt at the dance but man was it fun. I got to do the coolest thing ever (at least to me). The tradition dance is done in a big circle, but sometimes people in that big circle make smaller once and dance in them. I ended up in a smaller circle. The greatest part was that It ended up being my dad, my brother and two of my dad’s brothers, the ones that come for holidays. It felt so cool and we were all so happy, nothing else on anyone’s mind. All of us just smiling. The night went on to be awesome. Really glad I was there for this night.  

Next time I will be telling you about the flight back to the UK, don’t want one post to be too long but this one defiantly is. But what can I say.