#waysofcopingwithanger

We have all experienced anger at some level and even at times felt out of control with it. Anger is one of those emotions that we most likely do not want to experience, either as the one overwhelmed with anger or as the one it's being directed at. So, how do we deal with these moments of anger. In order to do that, I believe that a closer look of anger and what usually causes anger is in order. Let us start with the definition of anger. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. This is the definition of anger according to Google Dictionary. So, what causes anger? That is something that is needed to know in order to figure out how to properly deal with anger and learn ways to better cope with it when it comes along. First of all we need to understand that not all anger is bad. We always label it as bad because we don't really like this emotion much. Anger is our way of seeing something as a threat. To put it mildly, anger is triggered when we feel threatened. This is good because it has many great effects that can be helpful when threats are around. When in a state of anger, our senses are so much sharper giving us so much more detail about our surroundings. Not to mention the shot of adrenaline one gets from being angry. When in dangerous situations this can come in hand. The problem is, not all situations, that we may perceive as dangerous, can be helped by this response. A lot of times this kind of reaction can create a lot more problems than it solves. I am not saying to suppress this emotion when it rears it's head. Doing this will only create more problems than you already have. Let's look at some of things that can make us feel threatened, since that is what triggers this response. By understanding what causes this response we can better come up with a plan that can give ourselves better control over our reactions to Anger. Have you ever wondered why you are often short tempered when feeling impatient? The more hurried and rush we feel, the less patient we are with not only ourselves but also with those around yourself. So the saying "Patience is a virtue," were not lying. One way of solving this is by finding ways to give ourselves the amount of time we need to accomplish the task at hand and focus only on that task. The idea that stressing how long something is taking and how late you are for a task that is not going on at this time only eats away at your level of patience, pushing one on the brink of uncontrollable anger. One way to deal with a situation like this is first, allow yourself the amount of time you will need to comfortably complete the task with time to spare in case things mess up. Example of a mess up is a flat tire, dead battery, cat tore a whole in your favorite shirt, or dog at your shoe. Give yourself time to deal with minor set backs and delays so that you don't feel stressed for time where your patience won't be the best. Also, realize that even good plans can go to waist. No matter what we do, just going to the doctors can be taxing on us especially when the visit takes 4 hours instead of the 30 minutes it should have took; making it impossible to get to the dentist that you scheduled 2 and a half hours after the doctors visit. This was done so that you had time to do both and maybe go out for lunch too. It does no good stress about that dentist appointment while your at the doctors. Just call and reschedule that dentist appointment and keep your focus on the doctors office. Keeping your thoughts on the here and now will help keep you from losing your patience and thus keeping from having to lose control of your temper all because things didn't go as planned. Plans change, learn to breathe through the issues and look for ways to have the time that you need for the current set back and delay. It is also wise to know what things trigger responses of anger that are from a source of past trauma. We often will have a response of anger to things that remind us of things that hurt us before. We all have pasts to work through, and just because someone hurt us in the past doesn't meant that the people in our life now are doing the same. Sometimes it could be the way the light hits our eyes, a smell or even a sound. So many things can be triggers and it is extremely important to know yours if you find this is the case for you. A therapist may be needed to help you better understand why different things work as a trigger for you and healthy ways of coping when you encounter them.

This is just a couple examples of things that can trigger a response of anger and lead to negative results. If you find yourself prone to responding to situations with anger, you may need to spend time reflecting on each time you acted in anger and look at what triggered that response. Look for why you felt angry and better ways to handle situations similar to those in the future. Also, pay attention to early warning signs to your anger and come up with a game plan to calm yourself down including taking a time out and coming back to a situation when in a much calmer state. Concentrating on your breathing can go a long way to taking yourself from death com 5 down to at least low alert. Self care is also a good way of keeping oneself calm and better able to handle situations that normally trigger your anger. Often you may find that the only way to deal with your anger is by being physical. This is alright. Many people feel this way. This is when physical activity like weight lifting, running, bike riding, punching a bag and any number of physical exorcises. Regular exercise is important for a healthy heart. So take the time out you need and get physical in a healthy way. You will find this a good way to let off that steam that just seems to keep building up.