#waterbreak

“Mmm… I think it's another one…” I said, wincing. It was getting stronger. I knew they were getting closer. But I couldn't bear the countdown. I trusted my friend to tell me when it was time to go. We agreed we’d wait until contractions were down to seven or so minutes apart. Last time I’d checked I was down to fifteen, but I knew I’d progressed since then.

I breathed. In through my nose, out through my mouth. It was starting to feel really intense. The pressure inside spiking as-

“Oh!” I felt a deep internal pop, something letting loose. I felt fluid running out of me. Before I knew it I was sitting in a puddle of my waters, the contractions ending.

Carefully, I stood up. “Do we, uhm… have time for me to take a shower?” My bestie looked at his phone. He was quiet a moment, considering, a few different expressions crossing his face. The. “Yea! Yea, that should be ok. Plenty of time. I'll sit right by the door to keep timing contractions.”

The warm water felt so nice on my straining body. I could feel the tension easing a bit. It was so nice to just brace myself against the wall, letting the weight of my belly hang down… breathing steadily, meditatively…

My focus was broken by a spike of pressure, a cramp strong enough that I gasped, gritted my teeth. I held my belly and it was rock hard, squeezing down so much. I could feel the stranger’s baby inside me, the cushioning of the fluid gone, its body pressing against me inside.

“I heard!” My friend called from outside the door. I rocked my hips back and forth, holding my bump, trying to make myself stay calm. It didn't matter how I felt about it, panicking wasn’t going to help anybody.

Finally, it released. I blinked back tears and asked “How close?” A beat of quiet, then “You still have plenty of time!”

I nodded, relieved. The water just felt so good. Even when the cramps came, squeezing so harshly, the pressure getting worse and worse down low, making me groan and pant, the heat drumming over me made it easier to bear.

I lost track of time. Riding through each interaction, knowing how close I was to finally getting this baby out of my body, to starting to get my life back, it helped take the edge off how much this hurt, how scared I was of giving birth. I was so looking forward to the epidural numbing me to the worst of it, if this is how bad it was getting before our cutoff point.

Every time, I checked in with my friend. Each time, he said we had plenty of time, that the contractions were plenty far apart, that I shouldn't rush, let my body take its time. His voice was strained, but I couldn't blame him. He was hearing his close friend panting and grunting and moaning her way into deeper and deeper labor with a baby he knew I didn't want. Of course he was anxious and worried.

I finally climbed out of the shower, only for another powerful cramp to drive the head against my cervix, hard. I groaned, whimpered at the sheer force of the sensation. “How close was that one?!” I asked, blinking back tears. It had to be almost time to go. It HAD to, everything felt so low, so intense.

“It’s still building up! I know it's a lot, but you have to stay calm. Going into labor takes time. I shook my head. “No way… how long was I in the shower for?! If felt like they were getting so close in there…” again, quiet for a moment, then “Oh, a while. I can't remember exactly when you went in, but it's been, like, an hour. At least.”

That felt off… I felt like I’d gone about as fast as I could between contractions… but I guess I was wrong? It was so hard to remember now, everything just felt like-

“NGH! Ah, a-another… Hooo, it's bad it’s bad, so much pressure, I feel so open… Hard to… talk… Wait, I… could swear the last one…” my friend opened the door. Stroked my back gently, tenderly, and my body responded, leaning into him. So many frantic thoughts melted away. “It’s ok…” he said, voice low, gentle, reassuring. “It's so easy to lose track and panic of how far apart contractions are. Just breathe. You’ve got me here for a reason, right? You’re gonna be ok. We’ll make sure you get to the hospital in time.”

I nodded. Breathed, as the contractions faded. My friend kept rubbing my back, and I guess I say there longer than I thought, because before I knew it my belly was getting hard, firm, and I was groaning out “they feel so close now! They feel so close, oh god it hurts so bad!”

The poor guy was breathing really heavy. It must have been so hard to see me in this sorry state. I appreciated his bravery, how calm and collected he was.

“Ok… tell you what. It's still a little early. But we can go to the hospital now, just to be safe. You get dressed, I’ll get the bag we packed, ok?” I nodded, as the contraction ended. “O-ok… thank you… for being here with me.” My friend nodded at me, smiling warmly, then left the bathroom.

Getting dressed was easier said than done. I must have been moving really slowly, because it felt like the contractions were getting unbearably close. I pulled on my panties, contraction. I pulled up my clean sweats, contraction. I pulled a shirt over my body, contraction. Each feeling stronger than the last, each leaving me feeling more vulnerable, more overwhelmed, more desperate to have this done. It felt like the baby could just fall out of me now, though I knew it wouldn't be so easy.

But each time, a chipper voice, along with fabric rustling, came from outside “no worries yet! Contractions are holding pretty steady!” It didn’t FEEL steady, it felt like this little accident could come any second. But I trusted him. I had to.

I waddled out of the bathroom, leaning on a wall. I could barely close my legs, my body was begging for me to be open, to settle in and let this bastard come, but I knew I probably had hours to go still. My friend was digging through the closet. “I’m having a hard time finding it. Just go wait in the car, I’ll be out in a sec!”

Slowly, gingerly, I made my way to the door. I had to stop once on the way there, feeling the pressure throb down, the pain driving the breath out of me. “Fuck fuck… is it supposed to hurt this much this early?! It's just so… so intense…” I vaugely heard “It can be, yea! Trust me, you’ll know when it's serious!”

Blinking back tears, I muttered, “it feels serious now… I don't know what more serious would feel like…” but the contraction ended. I got out the door, and before I could get into the passenger seat, I braced myself against the car, whimpering through another cramp. They had to be seven minutes now, right?! They had to be… this couldn't possibly be too early, am I moving that slow?

I climbed into the car, holding my belly. My leg kept bouncing, I was full of nervous energy, the pressure was echoing out through my arms, my legs. Every inch of me centered on this baby I never meant to have. I hadn't ever felt more pregnant, more burdened and helpless.

The labor pains didn't stop. Each time, I felt the head more solidly in my cervix. I tried to time them myself, but my count was all wrong. The numbers got all jumbled as the cramp came over me, and by the time I finished groaning and panting through it, I couldn't remember where I’d ended at. But I don't think I’d gotten much further than a count of one hundred between them. That had to be wrong though. That's so close, too close, like about to start actively having this baby any second now close.

Another. And release. “Where is he… how hard is it to find this bag?!” I growled, breathing heavily, sweat soaking into my clothes. I just felt so warm, so overwhelmed. “I can't do this… it feels like my butt is about to split open… it's just too much! NGGGHHH!!!”

Again. Squeezing down mercilessly. I hadn't even hit one hundred that time, I think? Maybe? Pressure was echoing all through my lower half, I could barely think…

The car door opened. The bag got tossed in the back, and my friend got into the driver's seat. “How’s it coming? You ok?” He asked, and he was blushing, smiling at me, breathing hard. He must have been going so fast.

“C-contractions… lotta contractions…” I managed to force out. My eyes didn't want to focus, and his voice sounded strange, far away. My body was all focusing in. It didn't want to have to deal with anything else unless I forced it to. Unfortunately for it, I needed to force it to.

“How many?” He asked, voice trembling. Fuck. I hadn't been counting. “uhm… like… s-seven? Or six? Something… it's so hard to remember now. It's just… mngh… whatever number… here is… another!”

My roommate watched me. “How bad is it?” He asked, and I managed to grunt “I can't do it! I can’t have this baby it's too big, too much! So much pressure! In my back, my… my everything! Just pressure!” He bit his lip. “Very bad then… very bad… poor thing…”

As the contractions ended, I looked up at him. “H-how… close… are they? S-seven minutes? Yet?” I panted, struggling to do anything but gulp in air. He nodded slowly. “Yea. You still have hours to go, so don't worry. Just… keep me updated on how everything feels, ok? No matter how big or small.”

I nodded. I was so glad he was here. It was such a relief. “It’s… pressing… I feel so open now. All the way open, I don't… know how much more the baby needs…” The cat started, and we pulled out of the driveway. “It needs so much.” He said, and his words were husky, intense. “So much from you. It needs you to be so brave and strong for it. You're doing so good.”

The words hurt and helped all at once. The movement of the car impacting my body. I felt it ramping up. “Another… another coming!” “Good… good, just like that… sooo close now… so close…” his voice had a tone to it… low… needy… but I didn't have time to think about it. My leg bounced hard, as I tried to breathe, wet whimpers escaping from me. “Nghhh… the pressure… it's… different… scary… wanna… I don't know…” I grunted, a harsh, gutteral sound.

My whole body felt so tense. It knew something important was happening. Wanted me to give into something… my friend all but moaned “Your body knows what it needs… listen to it. Don't fight it, this is natural.”

I did as he said the moment he said it. I hadn't realized I was tensing up, fighting what my body needed. The sensation clarified into a low, low pressure inside, throbbing through me. It needed out. Like I needed to use the bathroom or something. At this point, if I had an accident, I had an accident. I gave in utterly. Letting my muscles give into the pressure. Urging it down.

My eyes went wide. It was moving. “Moving! Down! Birth canal!” I managed, before my body gave over completely to an uncontrolled push. “Ngh yesss… good good… push, push for me… good, just like that… let his bastard come out of you… don't fight it…”

I didn't. I couldn't. It hurt so badly, but I let it come. “Thought I had… time!” I forced between my teeth as I bore down. “How is it… coming so fast?” I tried to say more, but I couldn't. A head was filling me up. His baby was really coming, I couldn't stop pushing even though I desperately wanted to.

The contraction ebbed away, and I fell back, panting. “It's so hard… I can't do this, I can't have some strangers baby… how far away is the hospital? I don't want to feel this thing come out of me!” My friend shook his head. “Far. And there might be traffic.

We hit a red light, and he looked at me. His eyes trailing over me. “You’re really having it… right now… it's coming here in the car… you look so amazing…” I felt frustration rising. “Thanks, I guess? Look at the road, not me! I don't want to do this here in the passenger seat, I… urgh… N-need to… get to… the hospital! Oh GOOODDD!!! My leg began to bounce rapidly again as I gripped the sides of the seat. I told myself not to push, told myself not to give in, but it was useless. I needed to. I couldn't stop myself, I bore down with absolutely everything I had.

My body rewarded me, after a few moments, with the feeling of my crotch starting to bulge. There was a horrific pressure just behind my lips. “Can’t… stop it… don't wanna… have it here… need to get epidural… how f-far?” I panted, as the contractions ended. It ached so badly down there. I had never felt more full in my life, vividly aware of how low the baby was, on the cusp of starting to come out of me.

God. I was having a baby. I was giving birth. This was really happening, right here and now. I could feel a baby inside my vagina, opening my body, coming out. My body was just forcing me to do this thing that seemed so impossible, but that so many other women through history had done.

The enormity of it, the inevitability, crashed into me, made me start crying. This was really happening. It didn't matter how I felt about it, if I wanted it. I could feel that I was going to push on the next contraction. I could feel that this baby coming was inevitable, and getting closer by the second, as it had been doing since that one night stand gone wrong. As it had been doing since I’d been born. Everything I’d ever done leading me to this moment. Here. Now.

My friend was looking at me again. Eyes wide, almost like he could see my thoughts, awestruck by the state I was in, how powerful yet violating what was happening to me was. “You’re so amazing…” he all but whispered. “How far down is it?”

Swallowing, tears running down my face, I managed “I can… feel it bulging… I think it's gonna come out really soon…” and he bit his lip. “It feels so intense, doesn't it? Hurting so bad?” I nodded, panting, and as I did, I saw the rest of his body. I could see the erection tenting his pants. But that… he didn't….

He started driving again, constantly glancing at me. “You don't want it to come here, huh? Natural. Desperate. Out of control and overwhelming… gods. Give a biiig push next one… Don't hold back… let it come out, no matter how bad you don't want it to…”

I could already feel the tension building. “No-no, I… the hospital-” “We’re not making it to the hospital.” He said, as he kept going. “It's too low, we have too far. It's coming. We’re gonna do this, just you and me.”

Shaking my head, I pleaded “You have to go faster, have to NGGGHHH!!!” Another agonized grunt exploded from me, the contraction so painful. I couldn't fight it. I pushed with all my might, giving in completely.

I could feel it. I could feel myself crowning. It burned so bad, the head opening me so wide. I could feel my panties pressing back against it. I knew my sweatpants were bulging, and my friend looked down at me. The man I trusted with everything, trusted to help me have this baby, let out a moan. “Fffuckkk I see it… I see it crowning… your panties are stretching around it… It was so worth it, you’re so beautiful right now… his baby is coming, push for me babe, push push push…”

The words drove into me and I obeyed, even as I sobbed a guttural “NNNOOO!!!” It just kept coming. My lips were pulled wider around it as the guy I trusted panted “yes… yes… big push…” while staring at me, only glancing at the road. I stopped, contraction ended, exhausted.

It was so hard… so unfair… I shouldn't have to do this, I’m meant to be numb and drugged up and doing this while barely aware of it. Not here, feeling every tiny bit of it, desperate and scared…

He reached over. Cupped my crotch, another sound of barely suppressed sexuality escaping him. “Ohhh I feel the head… it's almost here… you’re such a good mommy, letting your baby come… it was so worth it, its even better than I hoped…”

“What… was worth it…” I asked, barely able to think about anything but the burning between my legs, the pressure inside me. “Lying about your labor.” He answered, smiling. “You were ready to go when your waters broke… before, even… but you never questioned it… let me convince you, even as contractions were five minutes apart, then less, less…

“I lied about the bag too, I knew where it was already. I wanted this, exactly this to happen. I was so excited when I got back. They were two to one minute apart then. I knew we were never making it… knew you were gonna open your legs for me and push your little bastard out of you, just like this… unmedicated, unassisted, natural and perfect and completely out of your control, just how it should be…”

I was horrified. Disgusted. I hadn't known. I didn't even know this kind of stuff turned him on! “You’re… you’re a… MNPH!!!” He smiled, rubbed my belly. “It doesn't matter what I am… because you’re a mommy. And you’re having your baby. You can't stop it… push for me. Push it out, let it come… birth it right into your panties…”

The head strained against the fabric. I tried not to push, but it was useless. He was right. I couldn't make it stop. I have to read the jerk who knocked me up, had to give my former friend everything he wanted. I had to give birth right now, as he watched and indulged. I even saw his hand slip under his pants, he was touching himself to this.

Meanwhile, under my pants, things were progressing. The head slipped fully out of me, I could feel my underwear pull itself down my hips, the force of the baby too strong to be stopped or denied. I wasn't done yet, though.

I thought the contractions would end after the fluids had burst out of me, soaking everything between my legs and the car seat. But no. The baby rotated inside me as I continued to push, wailing in reluctant agony, completely prepared for how much this would hurt. The shoulders bulged forward, a bit at a time, held in place by my panties and sweatpants…

Then I got lucky. The wetness inside and my bearing down made the head shift to the side. One shoulder popped free, then the other. The whole thing slid into the leg of my shorts, a noticeable wet bulge in the fabric that immediately began to move, as I sagged back, exhausted, ashamed, feeling used.

I didn't pick it up. I couldn't bring myself to, even as my chest aches and began to leak while the baby cried, still attached to me through the cord.

The man I trusted with this terrifying process grunted, leaned over the wheel, clearly orgasming even as he kept driving. I finally looked around, realizing we’d be at the hospital soon. If he’d driven faster, or we’d left sooner…

But we didn’t. This was his plan. Had probably been since I told him I was pregnant. I couldn't stop it. From the moment I agreed to sleep with that stranger, this was going to be how it ended up.