#watcher shyan

(Please note that this post is just meant for silly and depraved fanficcy shenanigans and that all of the quotes are real but I have edited the screenshots for crosstalk etc. Anyway, PROCEED). So, like you do on the Internet in 2023, I'm just listening to a podcast alone in my living room and minding my own goddamn business when, with MINUTES to spare:

Omo fans be like:

THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION DURING THE EP WAS A LOT BUT AT THE VERY END THEY JUST HAD TO ESCALATE IT LIKE...BRUH.

I have to wonder what the crew thinks when these absurd conversations are going on...anyway, Shane goes on to say he thinks Ryan is being a bit too uptight about this and--

WE ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!

HOW TF DID THIS ESCALATE TO GOLDEN SHOWERS LIKE EXCUSE ME???? There were points being made about peeing in the shower vs. not peeing in the shower but I know I am not the only one who was just sitting there like

SHANE WTF SIR THIS IS A WENDYS

I KNOW WHAT HE WAS GETTING AT BUT OF *ALL* THE WORDINGS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN

Hmmm....

I have been utterly unable to speak or even think coherently since I found out about “Ghost Files” so I’ll just re-post this instead: 

Ryan said this comment strictly for Shane and I will be accepting no alternative explanations at this time. 

The way they can’t turn off the heart eyes, even when they’re on someone else’s channel <3 

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE GIF’D RYAN HERE.

Apparently Shane’s answer to “When are you going to eat me?” is today. 

Courtney’s face during the “Ovipositor” convo XD

She is so done with Shane’s crap at this point XD

Clappin’ buddies ;-;

Ryan clenched his fists so tightly in terror while watching Ian spit into the trash can. 

I wonder if that’s how he eats asspples.

More heart eyes Bergara over here. 

Y’ALL

ANOTHER WATCHER GMM CROSSOVER?!?! 

We start this episode with Daddy!Rhett yup sure okay nothing to see here (and also Shane touching Ryan’s shoulderrrrrrr). 

Dude, don’t get Shane started on cousins...

UGH LOOK HOW CLOSE THEY ARE SITTING. They’ve come so far from “two guys, just sittin’ in a tub, in their swim trunks ‘cause they’re not gay” to being so much more comfortable with each other and I JUST...BYE.

RHETT STOPS LINK FROM INJURING HIMSELF WITH THE KNIFE WITH A SINGLE FINGER ON HIS WRIST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Someone needed to see these two side by side as well. (It’s me. I’m someone, but I also wanna know who the someone was that edited this). 

O.O

I’m sorry...you what now?

I seriously thought it was just me being my own filthy minded self during this scene until things...well...escalated lmao.

Ryan you are a man of chaos. 

...WHY WERE THEY ALL SO H*RNY?!?!

I can’t...this is literally like some sort of start to a cheesy film made for adults. Notice Rhett’s palm flat on Link’s arm. It was such a gentle push I’m--

...AM I EVEN ALLOWED TO BE WATCHING THIS ON YOUTUBE?!?! 

Ryan follows Rhett’s example, Shane pokes at the tip, and Link is too hot and bothered to take it so he turns away. 

RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?!

I am looking (dis)respectfully. 

It’s the (quiet guitar music) for me tbh...

JEESUS Rhett. 

AND THAT LITTLE SMIRK AFTER. THE MAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING. 

...is this real life right now? I feel like I need to stick the B*razzers logo in the lower right corner next to the Watcher logo. 

THIS IS NOT EVEN AN EDIT, RHETT STARTED HIS SENTENCE OFF WITH THIS AND RYAN JUST BURST INTO LAUGHTER. THE MAN KNOWS. HE KNOWS. 

Wait, what? How did we get here? How did we get from the banana to the a*us? 

RHETT DON’T YOU MFING PRETEND THAT YOU DON’T HEAR THIS ISH ON THE DAILY ON GMM AND BTS SIR. DONT YOU EVEN PRETEND. YOU JUST WANT HIM TO TALK ABOUT IT MORE. I SEE YOU.

LINK. Pls stop gesturing at the dinner table. 

...

Sir, this is a Wendy’s. 

(Yeah they are the same caption ‘cause part of the sentence is a close up of Link gesturing, and the second pic is Link gesturing as he faces Internet Jesus and his faithful disciples). 

THE WAY RYAN IS JUST LEANING INTO SHANE AS IF IT IS NOTHING. I STG THE PERSON ON THE WATCHER CREW WHO WAS LIKE “LET’S GET THE SMALLEST TABLE WE CAN FOR TWO OF THE TALLEST GUYS ON THE INTERNET WHOSE WING SPAN COULD FILL AN ENTIRE AIRPLANE RUNWAY AND THEIR BUFF COMPANIONS WHO BASICALLY HAVE FREAKING BOULDERS ON THEIR ARMS.” 

(By the way, this screenshot leads into): 

Also I cannot tell if this is a lie or not because this is where we are in November in the year of our Lord in 2022 

EX

FREAKING

‘SCUSE ME. 

SHANE GOT HIS HOLLONDAISE SAUCE ON RYAN’S LAP. I--

HOW IS THIS--

THEY MAY AS WELL HAVE HAD ONE OF THEM WEARING SKIMPY OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT, PRETENDING TO KNOCK ON THEIR FRONT DOOR, SAYING HE’S THE REPAIR MAN WHO HAS COME TO FILL IN THE CRACKS IN THEIR WALLS. 

I have never heard this phobia phrased this way. Did he need to phrase it that way? No, but the air was so thick with UST, that here we are. 

So this is Rhett’s solution to that. I just--

WHAT EVEN WAS THIS EPISODE Y’ALL.

Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like...this...I guess...

The name of their Just 4 Fans page. 

Oh, and if you were wondering about the one word Link chose to describe this dish? It was SUBTEXT. ONE HE IS LIKELY ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH. THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. ON THE GHOST FILES PHONE.

And the final dish is just...okay then, we’re gonna go super blatant with this and try to ignore Shane talking about his love of mayo like some sort of Midwestern ambrosia salad making mom whose “Macaroni Madness” wins every year at the county fair. 

I mean tbf, that is the face the collective audience makes when we watch y’all but DANG Ryan you didn’t have to SAY IT in front of ALL OF OUR SALADS that you and Shane, and Rhett and Link are just off in your own LITTLE BUBBLES THAT HAVE RUBBED THEIR BUBBLY CHEEKS TOGETHER FOR THIS DOUBLE DATE OF AN EPISODE. 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C