So I was up late last night listening to the Frozen soundtrack (not willingly, I'll add, my sister can't sleep without it so I'm stuck listening to it every night), and I just got hit with like this idea.
Dale and Warren would fit pretty well into the frozen universe.
Dale would be Elsa, the older sibling under a ton of pressure who is so terrified of hurting his little brother that he isolates himself, hell, even runs off to the mountains to try and live a life where he's so far away that he can't hurt anybody.
Warren would be Anna, he'd absolutely go after Dale even after Dale started a winter apocalypse by accident, and he even has the white hair.
Vanessa would be Kristoff, the love interest of Warren, who is annoyed by him at first but eventually grows to care about him, and also probably sells ice.
Seth would be Olaf. No explaination needed. (he's not a snowman just some random kid btw)
Tanu would be Wandering Oaken, again just based on vibes.
Kendra would also just be there.
The character Hans would probably stay Hans, but he'd be planted by the Sphinx in an attempt to overthrow the kingdom or something.
Yeah anyway that was what I was thinking about at 3am lol...
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Vanessa and Warren had been sent to rural Poland on a quick mission. But, when a freak snow storm buries their hotel (which, coincidentally, had only one bed available), they’re trapped over the Christmas holiday. With so much downtime, the two end up becoming a lot more than just mission partners.
“You're taking the floor.”
“It's freezing in here,” Warren said as he fell onto the other side of the bed. “Absolutely not.”
Vanessa sighed. “If only my mission partner was a gentleman.”
“I believe in equality, and a person’s inalienable right to blankets, pillows, and a mattress.”
***
Ever since running away from her very Italian, (and consequently very Catholic) home as a teenager, Vanessa Santoro had neglected to celebrate Christmas. It simply had not been on her mind. From Society missions to her double agent status with the Knights of the Dawn, she stayed booked and busy. And, even if she had time and remembered the holidays, who would she celebrate with? Just herself in her home alone?
That would make the holidays even more depressing than usual.
For all these reasons, she barely realized it was December 22nd until she looked up from her uncomfortable airport seat to spot Warren towing his luggage complete with felt antlers and the ugliest Christmas sweater she had ever seen.
“Oh my god.” Vanessa took off her sunglasses and looked him up and down. “Santa has lost one of his elves.”
Warren sat down in the seat across from her. “Now, why aren’t you dressed up?”
“I’m not quite sure that was a requirement in the mission file.”
“You’re a scrooge.” He flicked a hidden switch on his sleeve, and the lights on his sweater turned on. Acclaimed pop hit Santa Baby began to play, presumably from some speaker on the accursed sweater.
Vanessa shot to her feet immediately. “I cannot be seen with you.”
Warren accompanied her on her brisk walk. “Why not?”
She sent him a look that hopefully conveyed the irrationality of such a statement. “There should be a car waiting at Terminal C to take us to the hotel. Let's go so you can change out of this as soon as possible.”
Warren laughed and slung an arm over her shoulder. Heat burned where their skin met.
If Vanessa knew anything, it was that Warren Burgess was not a name she would be forgetting any time soon. This was their fifth mission together ever since she had joined the Knights as an undercover agent six months ago.
They were slowly becoming permanent mission partners as their missions ended up significantly more successful than any other combination of Knights.
Together, Vanessa and Warren were even faster, more efficient, and smarter than they were on their own. And that was saying something considering how highly rated the agents were as individuals.
Simply, they were a dream team.
As Vanessa plucked his blinking, musical arm off her shoulder, she tried to ignore the voice that said there was something more than just efficiency going on.
-Seth is constantly just. Gone. Nobody knows where he ran off to, but he always finds everyone else within a few seconds of them starting to ask each other if they’ve seen him recently
-Bracken and Kendra spend an inordinate amount of time playing the carnival games. Kendra’s arms are steadily getting more and more full of stuffed animals
-Warren joins Bracken & Kendra at the carnival games for a bit, wins a prize, gives it to Vanessa, and then steers her away from the rest of the group to go and order way too many sugary treats for everyone to share
-Dale gets tired of losing track of Seth and threatens to put one of those child-proof wristbands on him which will connect both of their wrists so the kid can’t wander off anymore
-Tanu tells Dale to chill and let the kid be a kid. And then proceeds to put an AirTag in Seth’s shoulder-pack-thing that he carries around
-Warren tells Seth about the AirTag and helps the kid plant it in Tanu’s pocket
-Vanessa rides all of the huge rollercoasters
-Tanu joins Vanessa, Dale does ~not~
-Warren joins Tanu and Vanessa
-Tanu gets sick
-Seth takes Tanu’s place
-Bracken & Kendra do the typical cutesy couple-y things like riding on the carousel and the Ferris wheel at sunset
-Everyone figures out later that Seth kept disappearing to the bumper cars and go-karts and those rides that spin you around in circles at high speeds. He creams everyone at go-kart racing
-Dale takes pictures of everyone and makes sure everyone eats actual food and drinks water. #momfriend
-Tanu helps round everyone up at the end of the night, makes a comment about how Seth must’ve discovered the AirTag, doesn’t see Warren scoff, and Seth pops up out of nowhere to ask everyone why they’re taking so long to get into the car
-Overall it’s chaos and fun and everyone has a great time
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Is it a coincidence that the burgess men fall for magical beings with not so great reputations? patton falls for lena who is a naiad and warren falls for vanessa whos a blix?
A few disclaimers: I am in no way trying to actually judge you for your ships (probably), this is just meant to be a fun light hearted post. If you want to start shipping feuds, kindly do it in your own goddamn DM's.
Brackendra: You like to keep things canon, and you just want Kendra to be happy. I feel like you eat unseasoned chicken, though
Ronodra: Be honest with me here, you use Kendra as a self insert, don’t you? You consider enemies to lovers & witty banter to be the pique of romance, and who can blame you?
Gavindra: You're a slut for love-hate relationships, and you're still salty over the fact that Gavarog was killed right after the reveal. You get PTSD whenever you see the phrase "last updated: 2011"
Garrethdra: You think forbidden love and pretty boys are neat
Verlendra: I have never actually seen one of you in the wild, but you probably unironically use the phrase "uwu soft bean boi 🥺"
Raxendra: You just want Raxtus to be happy, and I cannot blame you
Kendralyssa: You do it for the girls and the gays, thats it. Friends to lovers is your bread and butter
Warrendra: Hm.
Eveth: You think dumb kids in love is the best trope
Raxeth: You just want Raxtus to be happy (but gay this time), and I cannot blame you
Verleth: You like the popular kid x nerd trope, also you unironically use the phrase "uwu soft gay bean boi 🥺"
Warrenessa: Two disaster bisexuals is your ideal romance
Warren x Tanu: You love a good bickering married couple
Viselle: You wanted to ship Vanessa with a girl, and Giselle was the closest you could get your hands on
Newel x Doren: Your ideal relationship is one of those "bro" posts from 2015
Mara x Elise: You think there should be more lesbians in the world
Pattlena: You vehemently believe in love at first sight, and you also sobbed at the end of book 3
Mr Lich x The Sphinx: You think there should be more gay right hand men in the world
