#wanderingcas

This fic is going to be purely self-indulgence. It's all soft bois and feelings shit. Season 9 AU in which graceless!Cas, after being told he can't stay in the Bunker, uses his brain for 12 seconds instead of just being all sad and hurt, and proceeds to blow up Gadreel's whole spot.

Castiel got up and staggered to the stairs, ignoring Dean’s abrupt turn from soft apology to bitter shouting, saying it was just like Cas to have his head so far up his ass he couldn’t listen. He didn’t want Dean’s fucking money. He mounted the stairs and threw open the outer door to the bunker. A cold wind was whistling over the Kansas prairie and it shoved its clammy fingers under the stolen hoodie. Castiel was reminded once again that cold mattered to him, now, and a hoodie was not enough protection from the weather. Anger and shame pounded in him like a second heartbeat, making his ears roar and filling his face with hot blood, but the slap of the wind on his cheeks made him pause. If he had learned anything in the past two weeks, it was how fickle the feelings of being full and warm were. They would abandon one so quickly. He hesitated for mere seconds, but it was long enough for Dean’s clanging boots to catch up with him, and a firm hand to grip him by the elbow. “Cas, would you listen?” he shouted. “I was going to call Jody and ask if she could put you up for a while!” Castiel turned around and stared at him. “I’m just as much of a risk at Jody’s as I would be here,” he said. Dean pursed his lips, darted his eyes away. “Look, I…” “There’s something you’re not telling me, Dean,” Castiel said, suddenly realizing. Logic hadn’t suddenly deserted Dean—he was just keeping a secret. Castiel had let himself be blinded by his feelings, by the way they could grip his graceless body and toss it around just as effectively as the wind and rain could. He had failed to see it, but he saw it now. “Tell me the truth, Dean. Why can I be with other people you care about, but not with you?” Dean looked frightened. “Listen, Cas, don’t, please. Just. I’m sorry.” Castiel never liked to see Dean afraid, and there was a limited list of things that could scare him so much and cause such a change in him in a matter of hours. Castiel would go confront the only thing he could think of that might have caused this. Castiel hadn’t really had enough time to get used to how diminished he was; nor had Dean. When Castiel shoved past him and back down the stairs, it would have been easy for Dean to stop him, but neither of them really considered that. Castiel went marching back into the bunker shouting Sam’s name with Dean at his heels shouting his.

the game is to put your most recent ten fics and their first lines.

end in blood (2k)

May 2009 Dusty earth moves.

technically two lines but i think i can be forgiven due to the format.

handiwork (1k)

The World thrums.

can i say i like completely forgot i wrote that one. brain so melted.

there's my bloodhound (2k)

Lenore’s knees ache.

i think this is the only one on this list where the pov character is the subject of the first line. maybe one other?

surveil and punish (5k)

“I just wish I could… I need to make you understand.”

it's still kind of crazy to me that i finally finished and published this one after like four years sitting in my drafts. and i'm pretty happy with it, too!

miasma (5k)

Alex is already home.

tight skin (2k)

It is easy to untwist an angel.

one more thing you can do for me (400 words)

“Oh God, I’m Pattinson,” Dean says, looking away from him, and Cas doesn’t know what that means but there is so much anguish there, he just wants to reach out…

wow i've written a lot this year. it feels pretty unreal.

strings (3k)

You pick her because she’s got the look.

got distracted rereading this. i actually really like this one, i always forget. i wasn't expecting to necessarily like it when i wrote it because i'm not always happy with experiments. but i do like it.

lick (100 words)

He runs so hot.

fly fishing (600 words)

“Man, we could really go for another one of those crescent cookies,” the other one says as Mrs. Melina sniffles on your shoulder.

oh i forgot this one too.

anyway some really funny patterns popping up here. i'm addicted to starting my fics either in media res with dialogue or with like plain statements. my main character is only the subject (grammatical subject) in two out of these ten lol.

Song: Wasteland, Baby!

Author: @deaniewithalittleweanie

Artist: @deancodedcastielenby

Beta: @wanderingcas

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 46,326

Pairing/s: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Aaron Bass/Dean Winchester

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use

Additional Tags: Post-finale, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from The Empty, Endverse (5x04: The End), Endverse!Castiel

Summary:

With his dying breath, Chuck releases the Croatoan virus onto the world the Winchesters just tried to save from him. Fueled by rage, Dean rescues Castiel from The Empty, but the angel comes back with a screw knocked loose and most of his grace depleted. To both of them, Castiel’s confession before his death is best left unspoken of. In a world of destruction, chaos, and death, Dean has resigned himself to being chained by reality for the rest of his days.

That is, until Sam finds a lead on restoring a very weak Jack’s powers. The mission has Dean, Castiel, Jack, and Charlie criss-crossing the continental United States on the hunt for power and a cure for the virus that has destroyed civilization as it once was, all the while trying to repair the broken bonds between all of them.