#w0w

“they’re not weird! and i’ve been working on them for a long time - since the beginning of freshmen year! we finally have a prototype and i thought you’d be the perfect human for Y00NGI.”

“don’t give it a name, you’re humanising it. and what kind of a name is Y00NGI, anyways??”

“it’s supposed to be a take on you and i. get it??”

“that’s terrible and i hate that with my entire soul. i just don’t get why i have to take care of it. can’t you get jin to take care of it? he’s like 100x more responsible than i am.”

“y/n, the purpose of this robot is to be like… a helper. jin doesn’t need any help with anything. you on the other hand….. i know you hate it when i say this but you’ve kind of…. you’ve been a mess since your breakup with kihyun and i just thought it’d be good for you to have Y00NGI around to help out!! someone to pick up your takeaway boxes and someone to wake you up so you get to work on damn time for once and aLso someone to force you out of the house because of how socially awkward you-“

“i’m not socially awk- why didn’t you name it Y00NI instead? that’s more like you and i than Y00NGI.”

you’re like hiGHKEY offended that namjoon thinks you’re unable to take care of yourself and that you’re socially awkward like you can make a REALLY good grilled cheese sandwich and you’re like okay-ish at interacting with other people your age

sure one time you accidentally threw in a red sock into the whites and all your sheets turned pink but that doesn’t mean you can’t freaking take care of yourself

and pink sheets are totally trendy right now

okay about kihyun

first things first you’ve been a single lady for a couple months now

yes you admit that you kind of turned into a liTTle bit of a hot mess after kihyun broke up with you

to be fair he was the one who always cooked and cleaned and made you interact with his friends

but you always tried your best to make meals for him and you always had a smile on your face whenever the two of you hung out with hIS friends - he ended the relationship because he felt like you were holding him back

you don’t like to get into it

but you’re better now!!!!!!

you sort of know the basics of the washing machine and you can also make pretty good spaghetti so sUCK on that kihyun

plus you just liked staying home rather than going out to party but that didn’t make u socially awkward

“look, it was a creative decision on my part, alright? i don’t see what the big deal is.”

“you know how i feel about technology, joon. i got freaked out when you asked your alexa thing to tell you a joke and she not only told you a horrible joke but also had a very demon-y laugh.”  

“you know... jungkook thinks Y00NGI is pretty cool.”

you perk up at the mere mention of jungkook

long story short you have the FATTEST crush on jungkook and you would honestly probably kill someone for him

after your nasty breakup with kihyun he always found ways to cheer you up

you work at the library at bangtan laboratories and jungkook always brought you lunch and snacks and came up to tell you stories and keep you company

so it wasn’t a huge surprise when one day you felt your heart flutter when he smiled at you in his adorable bunny way

namjoon’s the only one who knows considering he’s ur best friend but now he’s just using it against you

“so jungkook should take care of it.”

“he lives with jimin - he doesn’t need a helper. i’m sure he’d visit your place a LOT if you took Y00NGI in.” namjoon smirks to himself and takes a sip of his coffee when he notices your change in expression

okay well

taking care of an android-humanoid-thing wouldn’t be too bad

it’s only for a couple of months so that namjoon can see if his creation actually works

you won’t have to cook for yourself or clean for yourself

and jungkook might pop over more often as namjoon said

hm

“well- fine. only because i’m… a good person and a good friend. that’s the only reason why i’m helping you out.”

namjoon’s like loL okay ya sure

the rest of lunch goes by and namjoon’s just excited that he’ll finally be able to see if his android will actually work

a week goes by and you get daily texts from namjoon telling you Y00NGI is almost ready for you and you hATE that because it sounds like he’s sending Y00NGI to assassinate you

like literally one of the texts you got was just

’soon.’

and you wanted to murder namjoon because it freaked you out so much

it’s sunday morning and you’re enjoying a nice bowl of cinnamon toast crunch while watching cartoons when you hear your doorbell

you wipe the sprinkles of sugar off your mouth as you rush to the door and

holy shit

“i’ve got a package here for miss y/l/n?”

you’re tempted to tell the mailman that miss y/l/n lives somewhere else because jeSUS this is a HUGE box

“that’s, uh, that’s me i guess”

he hands you a clipboard and you sign off on it and he wheels the damn thing into the middle of your living room and then is just like peace out

so now you’re standing in the middle of your living room with this big ass cardboard box

the first thing you do is call namjoon

“hello?” his voice is groggy which indicates he was still asleep

“why didn’t you tell me this box was so big!! how big is this thing!!!”

“he’s not a thing, don’t be rude. he’s a little taller than you and a little shorter than me. the box is big because i put like a bunch of packaging peanuts and styrofoam in so he wouldn’t be damaged when he arrived!!! he’s not cheap you know!!!!!!!”

“i thought he was made out of like metal”

“he’s not a tin man, y/n. his outer layer is made out of this synthetic silicon so he feels exacTLY like a human and i wanted to get him to you without a single scratch”

that is… sO FREAKY R U KIDDING ME

you don’t really want to open this package

what if it tries to kill you

“anyways you’ll have to charge him up for a little while because i didn’t recharge him before i packaged him up.”

“do i plug him in like a phone??? where do i even- omg do i plug the thing up his butt or somethi-“

“he’s in a charging pod right now. that’s another reason why the package is so big. you just have to plug the pod into the wall it’s not that hard.”

“namjoon i can’t moVE this thing alone-“

“omg you’re so whiney okay fine i’m coming over” namjoon hangs up on you and ur like the auDAcity of this man

while you wait for namjoon you get a box cutter and slice the sides of the box open

the sides of the box plop down onto the ground and your whole floor is littered in package peanuts and you see-

well it kinda looks like a fridge

but like a ~futuristic~ fridge

and on the front of the door you see Y 0 0 N G I

you see a little symbol blinking underneath his name

it’s an empty battery symbol and it’s bright red telling u that he’s out of juice

phEW

that means he won’t be able to murder you anytime soon

you kind of want to open the door and see what this Y00NGI thing looks like but you’re scared

god why did you agree to do this

so now instead of watching cartoons you’re shovelling cereal into your mouth and keeping an eye on the charging booth to make sure nothing suspicious happens

about 15 minutes go by and you’re so relieved when namjoon walks in and the other boys are trailing behind him and he’s like ur lucky i love u i would rather be asleep

and you’re like yOU’re lucky i love yOU otherwise i would never have agreed to this

namjoon: i’m also lucky you love jung-

you: ….juST help me move this stupid thing hHAAHhaa

you greet the other boys good morning

and you’re especially sweet to jungkook

he’s like :) hi y/n!!! i hope u slept well

he’s so cuTE you want to RIP OUT YOUR HEART and give it to him

ahem

namjoon wants to leave Y00NGI in your living room but there’s no way in hell you’re going to leave it here

what if you wanna get water in the middle of the night but then you have this pill-shaped fridge just blocking your path

“move it into the spare bedroom - if it freaks me out i’ll just lock it in.”

“it’s a HE y/n respect him!!!!” taehyung smacks your arm and nudges you aside so that he can help namjoon move the pod “jin-hyung and i spent a long time designing his face and his body so you better not do anything to fuck it up”

you kinda feel bad that you’re not helping the boys move the pod because it looks pretty heavy and all their faces are going red

but they think you’re a klutz and you’ll drop it on the way to the bedroom and chip something so they were all like nO you can’t help us please just sit down and don’t move

it takes the six of them ten minutes to move it into the guest bedroom down the hall and you’re sweating on their behalf and you’re like wOO that was tough good job guys while you’re just lounging on the couch and they’re all glaring at you lmao

“i plugged the pod into the wall for you - i’ll pay your electricity bills, so don’t worry about that. he takes up a lot of power.” namjoon mentions and gives you a sheepish smile when you’re like excuse mE whaT

“how long does he take to charge?”

“depends on how much battery he has. he’ll be ready by tonight since he’s completely outta battery” namjoon shrugs and plops down next to you

“i programmed him especially for you he knows like everYthing there is to know about you”

“…how much does he know”

“which hospital you were born at what your favourite food is what time you wake up what time you go to sleep what your favourite shampoo is what your mother’s maiden name is what your-“

“okAY i get it”

it’s safe to say that you are very much freaked out

as much as you like jungkook you’re not sure if this is even worth it anymore

this hunk of metal charging up in your room knows you better than you know yourself

it’s just eery because it…. well it’s a robot

you could peel its face back and you’d just see a freaky metal skeleton

you shudder to yourself but you’re like u know what we already went over the benefits of having this helper robot here so it’ll be fine

“you have to bring him to the lab every two weeks so i can check on his diagnostics and see if anything needs tweaking”

“…do i need to carry him and his pod there”

“nah the two of you can just walk over”

it’s still weird that they’re referring to the robot as if it was an actual human being rather than a machine but whatever you’ll get used to it

the lab is like a ten minute walk away from your place so it’s fine

you live in this pretty nice neighbourhood anD your apartment is pretty big anD you’re close to the lab so you can see why namjoon chose your place

“also you’ll have to wear this 24/7.” jungkook appears out of nowhere and takes your hand and you’re like omG his hands are so soft but then he’s clipping this bracelet around your wrist and you’re like wat

it looks like it’s made out of glass and you can see all the different coloured wires inside

and there’s a little Y00NGI etched on it

your eyes widen in surprise when the Y00NGI suddenly lights up and the bracelet gives you a little zap

“ah, there we go”

“ow! what the-“ you try to shake it off but you can’t

it’s like

attached to you somehow

it’s snug around your wrist

not snug enough to be considered uncomfortable but snug enough to make you aware of its presence

“it’s so Y00NGI can keep track of where you are and also if you’re ever sick he’ll be able to know your temperature and nurse you back to health”

“can i not take this thing off??”

“well… you can,,, with this key” he holds up a key and puts it back into his pocket “buT you lose things really easily and this bracelet is very very very expensive so nO you are not allowed to take this thing off”

“but-“

“it’s waterproof and sweatproof and everything in between so you’ll be fine!!” jungkook flashes you a sweet smile and you’re like okAy i’ll keep it on because u said so

“okay let me tell you a little bit about Y00NGI before we head off”

“aren’t you going to stay here until he wakes up??”

“that’ll take too long and we’re working on some more prototypes at the lab”

namjoon and the boys plop down on your couch and you sit opposite to them on your sofa chair

“as i mentioned before, Y00NGI is a human mind model adaptive super android”

“i know what each of those words mean but i don’t know what they mean when you put them all together like that”

“basically he’s programmed to learn things and grow smarter - so i don’t want you being a bad influence on- well, actually, he has more common sense than you do so i guess i don’t have to worry about that”

gasp

namjoon is so lucky you adore him otherwise he wouldn’t be getting away with all these snarky dIGS

“he knows the basic emotions like happy and sad and angry or whatever but the more time he spends with you the more emotions he’ll pick up-“

“i just hope he doesn’t become as dramatic as you”

“oh says yoU” you scowl at jin but now you’re wondering how the heck a robot can even feEL things in the first place

“so if i pinched him would he feel it?”

“of course he’d feel it”

“so he hurts too?”

“….why does this sound mildly threatening”

“nO i’m just curious i’m not going to hurt your robot friend”

namjoon wants to scream Y00NGI IS NOT JUST A ROBOT HE’S A HUMAN MIND MODEL-

“looK we’ve been working on Y00NGI for a long time and even though he’s built to withstand pretty much anything i still want you to be careful with him”

obviously you’ll be careful with him you’re not a monster

“you don’t have to feed him. of course he’s designed to ingest human food but like,, it won’t do anything for him lol he also doesn’t need to use the washroom either!!” while namjoon’s talking to you he unlocks your phone and plugs it into his laptop

“hey!!!!! what do you think you’re doing” you reach forward and namjoon smacks your hand away

“i’m installing Y00NGI’s app on your phone. i’m sorry it’s not available on the app store for you to download” he snorts and his fingers fly over the keyboard before he hits enter and you see a brand new app pop up on your home screen

“what’s the purpose of this app? it better not be like that app you downloaded on my phone last time that gave you full access to my texts-“

“i already told you i only did it because you were mad at me and i diDN’T know why and you weren’t talking to me so i really didn’t have a choice loOK the point is this isn’t another hacking app you’re fine”

“okay so tell me what it does”

“it monitors Y00NGI’s battery levels, Y00NGI can even send you a message on here if he wants!! also if there’s like a loose wire somewhere the app will show you where it is on his body and where you’re supposed to plug it back in”

namjoon spends a little more time telling you about Y00NGI and you’re still kind of freaked out but at the end of the day you’re proud of joon and the boys for inventing this human computer… android adaptor charger… robot.. man (is that what it’s called?? u already forgot)

“well we’ll be on our way now!! text me when Y00NGI wakes up” namjoon gives you a quick hug and the other boys are saying goodbye before you know it

you spend the rest of the day tidying up a little and doing some chores

for some reason you feel like you need to impress this hunk of metal that’s going to be living with you for the next eight months

you’re intimidated to go into his room and check if he’s fully charged so you can finally turn him on

so you promise yourself you’ll turn him on after dinner (which is pizza!!!!!!!)

you’re nibbling on your fourth slice of pizza and you pop the rest of the crust into your mouth and c r o n c h  thoughtfully

and then your phone buzzes next to you

Notification: Y00NGI APP - BATTERY FULLY CHARGED.

ok

ok cool

no need to be nervous

after all yoU are the one in control here

you are de captain of this ship

yoongi’s YOUR helper

you dust your hands off and stand up and head towards yoongi’s room

the door opens with a creak and you quickly turn the lights on

you end up staring at the yoongi refrigerator for like one whole minute but you shake your nerves off

it’s now or neVer

you don’t know why but you glance over your shoulder for some reason before you open up the pod door and

holy moly

taehyung and jin really put a lot of effort into designing Y00NGI’s face because he is literally the prettiest boy you think you’ve ever seen and you’re friends with jin and jimin and jungkook etc

a phrase to describe this face: boyfriend material

you’re kind of squatting down because his head is bent over since he’s standing upright and then your thighs start to burn from standing like this just staring up at Y00NGI so you cup his face and hold it up

you’re close enough to see each individual pore on his face

he has soft black tousled hair and it kind of shines in the light of the guest bedroom

his lashes cast a shadow over his cheeks

his lips are so cute

he even has a couple ear piercings

namjoon was right he does feel exactly like a human

you’re kind of having fun just squishing his face and washing his lips purse and unpurse because ??? he’s very VERY lifelike it’s almost concerning

they really went all out when they were designing Y00NGI

you can already tell that these BTS2500 androids are going to be popular when namjoon releases them if they’re as pretty as Y00NGI

“alright yoongi let’s see how to turn you on… oh yEs” you remember namjoon showing you where Y00NGI’s power button is

you wrap a hand around the back of his neck and blindly feel around for the button that should be on the nape of his-

you jump when Y00NGI powers up immediately as you hit the button

you take a step back and you see that he’s definitely awake but it looks like he’s still warming up a little because you can see his pupils dilating and constricting rapidly

and then he blinks once and his eyes settle on you

“Hello. I am Y00NGI. M1N Y00NGI.”

his eyes scan over your entire figure

“You are Y/N Y/L/N.”

“…ya that’s me” you’re still kind of shook because you don’t… really know what to DO “do you… do you wanna stay in your pod or should i…”

how do you even talk to a robot???

you gesture to the wire that’s plugged into the nape of his neck underneath his power button which you’re assuming is his charging cord

“you got enough juice in you?? my app tells me you’re at 99.9% but i can let you chill here until it-”

“I would like to inspect my surroundings.” you nod and reach forward and gently yank the cord out and you’re like :00000 when you see a flap of skin suddenly cover up the charging port and now it looks like a normal neck

yoongi steps out and then his pupils suddenly light up and there’s like a hologram of a blueprint that beams out of his eyes

“Scan complete. Location secure.” and then he’s walking out of the room and you’re not sure if you should turn the pod off to save battery or

“waiT yoongi where are you goi-“ you can’t even finish your question because he’s already going down your hallway to the living room

he’s standing there just staring at the TV so you move past him to sit on the couch

you don’t know where to go from here so you decide to continue eating your dinner

“Pizza is unhealthy.”

“but it’s good.”

you’re about to offer him a slice when he speaks up again

“One pepperoni pizza is approximately 2269 calories. Total fat: 83 grams. Total saturated fat: 38 grams. Cholesterol: 145 mg. Sodium: 5100.9 mg. Sugars: 31g.” yoongi starts naming off all the nutritional value facts of pizza while staring right at you and you’re like omg sTOP I GET IT

“Are you still hungry?”

“not really i mean i already had four slices so”

“Good.”

yoongi bends down and picks up the pizza box and proceeds to throw it into the bin

he looks over his shoulder at tilts his head slightly

“I am sensing that you are upset. Why are you upset?”

“you threw away my dinner!!!!!!”

even though you’re pretty full like you had four slices so you’re fine but stILL you liked eating cold leftover pizza for breakfast the next day

“Oh.” he looks down at the bin. “I suppose that is something you will have to deal with, then.”

and you’re like

excUSE ME

why is this android so,,,, sassy

namjoon did mention that jin was the one who programmed his personality so

like father like son

“You must sleep soon. The time now is 10:41PM.” he pauses and his eyes do that weird glitchy thing again “My database tells me that you have a very unhealthy sleeping schedule.”

UM

you’re getting roasted by a damn hunk of metal and you don’t even have a witty comeback

“i’m an adult, yoongi. i’ll go to bed whenever i want.” you snort and snuggle back into the couch and you hit play on the- “oH MY GOD PUT ME DOWN” suddenly everything’s spinning and you realise yoongi just threw you over his shoulder and is marching you down the hallway

you’re still flailing over his shoulder as he enters the washroom and picks up your toothbrush and squeezes some toothpaste on it for you

finally he lets you down but before you can say anything he shoves the toothbrush into your mouth and turns you over so that you’re facing the mirror

“i wuz goinf to eat some icfe cream after the pizza, you know”

“What kind of ice cream?”

you’re pleasantly surprised that he seems curious about your ice cream

“strawberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream it’s my fAvourite and-“

“One cup of strawberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream contains approximately-“ you roll your eyes and drown him out by turning on the tap as you brush your teeth and rinse your mouth out

once you’re done he follows you to your bedroom and then he nudges you in and immediately shuts the door without saying a word

“oh so you’re nOT going to tuck me in????” you feel obligated to ask him that considering he’s been treating you like a child

yoongi opens the door and pokes his head in a little as you’re about to get into bed

“You are an adult. Tuck yourself in.” and then he shuts the lights off and slams the door again and oOH you are so tempted to just hit that power-off button on the back of his neck so you won’t have to deal with him anymore

damn

how did namjoon rope you into doing this

8 damn months

“Time to wake up.”

you’re still half asleep even when yoongi pulls the blanket off of you causing you to whine and kick and blindly reach for your blanket

“You have to be at the lab in one hour.”

“what time is it??”

“It is 7:00AM.”

you rub the sleep out of your eyes and wince at the early morning sunlight

yoongi already opened up your curtains and you hATE being woken up by blinding sunlight

“i only need like half an hour to get ready let me sleep for another fifteen minutes” you drop your head back onto your pillow and shut your eyes again and- “oH jESUS is this going to become a regular thing because i am noT a fan of this” yoongi has you over his shoulder again and when he plops you down you’re staring at your crusty morning face in the bathroom mirror

“You don’t have ingredients in your fridge required for a nutritional breakfast. However, I made a cup of coffee for you. Please come to the kitchen in 20 minutes.” yoongi shuts the washroom door and you see that he’s hung your work uniform up behind it

dang

usually you’re reaching into your hamper and digging through it for your wrinkly blouse and trousers but

you’ve never seen your uniform look so neat and crisp before

and that coffee stain on the sleeve is gone

“alright, robot. you win this time.” you mumble to yourself and then you’re washing up and getting ready for the day

“It is now 7:35. According to my maps, we are ten minutes away from Bangtan Laboratories. I suggest you leave within the next five minutes to avoid tardiness.”

“i’m usually five or ten minutes late and no sane person would want to come check out books at eight in the morning so i’m not in a rush” you plop down on the couch and turn on your cartoons and then you take a sip of the coffee that- “oH good god what the hell is this????” you look down at the sludge in your cup and wince before setting it down on the coffee table

so you definitely need to teach yoongi how to make a cup of coffee if he’s going to be making your coffee for the next 8 months

“Is something the matter?”

“how did you make my coffee??”

“I ground up coffee beans and mixed some water into it. According to my database, coffee is essentially a mixture of C. arabica and water.”

“C. arabi- what is C. ara- okay you know what i’ll teach you how to make coffee when i get back from work today” hopefully you can get jimin to give you a cup of coffee free of charge

you’re trying to enjoy your morning cartoons but it’s hard when yoongi’s kind of just standing there staring at you blankly

“…wanna watch some cartoons with me?” you scoot over a little and pat the seat next to you

“It is now 7:38. I recommend that you leave in two minutes to avoid-.”

“this episode is nearly done just come and sit” yoongi blinks twice but then he nods and comes and sits next to you

“Do not slouch. It is bad for your posture.”

you let out a sigh and roll your eyes and stand up

“you knoW what you’re right i should leave now thanks for the coffee yoongs” you offer him a smile while you’re lacing your shoes up “uh, i guess you can watch TV all day if you want?? there are a couple books in your room that you can read as well. namjoon picked them out for you so expect some classic literature and poetry and all that jazz”

“My name is Y00NGI. Not ‘Yoongs’.” yoongi blinks at you and you groan internally he’s just so ???????? he’s the complete opposite of you he’s so stiff and orderly and boring but of course you suck it up because you’re doing this for the boys and maybe you can ask jin to tweak his personality a little bit heeehee

“byE yOOnGS” you slam the door behind you before he can respond and you start your walk to work

yoongi stares at the door after you leave and then the corner of his lips twitch up in a small smile

he’s trying to replicate your bright smile but the most he can muster is a teeny little smile

“Yoongs.” he mutters to himself and then he returns his attention to the TV

when you come home that night you are surprised to see that your dinky apartment is,,, spotless

and now that it’s clean it makes it seem like your place is a loT bigger

and wow your coffee table is supposed to be thAt colour?? crazy

“uh, hello? i’m home…” you’re about to kick your shoes off and dump your jacket on the ground and yoongi suddenly appears in front of you and stops you before you can do so

“You have a coat rack for a reason. You also have a shoe rack. Please use them.” you sigh and place your shoes on the rack and hang your jacket up before turning to yoongi and going like r u happy now u neat freak android

“do you eat human food?”

“I don’t. I could. But I prefer not to, otherwise I’ll have to open up my stomach compartment and empty it. Which is not ideal.” you cringe and ur like yuck okay fair enough

“okay, well… i’m going to order dinner for myself, so i guess you can just sit here”

yoongi grabs your wrist before you can scurry off to the drawers where you usually stash all the takeout menus

“I threw out all of your takeout menus. You cannot live off Chinese food and pizza every day.”

“you whA-“ you press your lips together to keep yourself from screaming at yoongi but your preCIOUS MENUS ARE GONE

okay look

he cleaned your apartment for you which was actually pretty nice of him

but

piZZA!!!!!

“I ordered groceries while you were gone. Your fridge is now stocked with fruits, vegetables, almond milk - everything’s natural and organic, and most importantly - good for you.”

“almond milk- yOongi look that was really nice of you and stuff but i’m not- i don’t drink nUT milk i drink cow milk and also??? i hate fruits and i hate vegetables”

“I can see that, considering the state of your skin.” Yoongi hums and his eyes light up before he scans over your face slowly “Mild acne. Very common. The lack of pizza will hopefully clear up your skin soon. You’re looking a little swollen in the face, too. Must be all the sodium. Come - I’ve steamed some vegetables for you.”

yoongi disappears into the kitchen and you’re standing there like

eXCUSE YOU

you turn and look into the mirror hanging by the door and u know what he’s right you’re looking a lil more bloated than usual and your skin is kind of splotchy and woW that pimple wasn’t there this morning

your period’s coming!!! so that’s your excuse to pig out a little because you always need junk food for your cramps    

you know what you’re going to give that robot a piece of your mind and show him who’s boss here because it certainly isn’t hiM

“okay, listen here-“ you swing open the kitchen door and storm over to yoongi who’s standing by the stove with your steamed vegetables “i know you’re supposed to be taking care of me and everything but i refuse to eat these damn vegetables because- mmph!”

yoongi shoves a floret of broccoli into your mouth and you automatically chew

oh

this isn’t half bad

there’s some minced garlic in here

mm

“Sit. Eat.” yoongi nudges you to sit down on the stool and sets the plate of veggies in front of you “Finish it all.”

your stomach grumbles and you frown a little

you were really craving some juicy fried chicken tonight

maybe some yam fries with that really good chipotle mayo

dang

as soon as you finish your dinner (which was a lot better than u thought it’d be) you dial namjoon’s number into your phone and look over your shoulder to make sure yoongi isn’t there

“hello?”

“your robot just made me eat a plate of vegetables”

“he did? wow! he’s better than i thought he’d be because you never eat vegetables”

“wha- namjoon, the point here is that he’s being a control freak!! i want pizza!!”

“it’s all part of the test, y/n. if there’s a flaw in his system we’ll fix it up when you bring him in at the end of the month.”

“oh, there are pLenty of flaws in his system. i’d like to take a pair of scissors and just snIP-“

“Ahem. Put your plate into the dishwasher when you’re done. And I’m cutting off your phone usage. According to my database, you’re on your phone most hours of the day.”

“you’re not my dad so-“ all of a sudden yoongi grabs your phone from you and shuts it off and then he’s pointing to the dishwasher

he’s literally acting like your dad and it’s infuriating

“give me my phone!” you ignore him and hold your hand out for your phone “who do you think you are??”

“Y00NGI. Who are you?”

“i-“ okay you should’ve seen that coming “just gimme my phone!!”

unsurprisingly

this little argument ends with you not getting your phone and you being sent into your room early

you feel like a child and it’s ridiculous

and you can’t even complain to namjoon about his stupid android because said android hAS your phone

“It is 7:00AM. You have work in an hour.”

it feels like deja vu when you wake up to the sound of that monotonous voice and the feeling of someone ripping a blanket off of you and also your blinds are up so the sun is bLINDING you

“it’s 7am you have work in an hour” you mock grumpily and yelp when yoongi smacks you with a pillow

and so

you and yoongi fall into this routine

he wakes you up

you grumble curses at him

you go to work

you come back home

yoongi’s there with your dinner

yoongi scolds you for watching cartoons

yoongi scolds you for sneaking some chips onto your dinner plate

yoongi catches you with a pint of ice cream in your grubby little hands  

how??? did he not catch that??

maybe if he was more observant he would’ve noticed that one of your boobs was significantly bigger than the other

yoongi clicks the TV off and sends you to wash up

you go to bed

yoongi cleans up the living room and puts the ice cream away

yoongi heads to his charging pod for the night and powers off

two weeks go by and you have to admit that you’ve gotten pretty used to having yoongi there 24/7

finally the day comes where you have to bring yoongi into the lab so namjoon can see if everything’s running smoothly

“aren’t you excited?? this is your first time out!!”

“There are more productive things that I could be doing right now. You interrupted me while I was uploading the entire Oxford dictionary into my hard drive.” even though you have your fingers wrapped around yoongi’s wrist and you’re tugging pretty hard to get him to move faster he’s still moving as slow as a snail so that’s gr8 for u

“you can upload it to your brain when we head back to my place. namjoon needs to see you so it’s not really my fault” you push him into the lift and he turns around and scowls at you

“Why do you manhandle me like that? Just because I’m a robot doesn’t mean you can treat me like this. Didn’t you notice the ‘fragile’ sticker on my box?” you’re tempted to roll your eyes because you’ve come to realise that yoongi can be very dramatic sometimes but like

he makes a fair point

you haven’t really been the nicest person to him in the last two weeks

he just

gets on your nerves!!!!!!!

“fair enough. i’m sorry. i think i… i was just kind of offended that namjoon wanted you to take care of me because i’m like… a grown woman and it’s embarrassing.”

yoongi blinks at you and then turns to face the doors as the elevator goes up “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m just here to help you. Plus, you need someone to take care of you. You can’t just eat pizza every night for dinner. And you can’t just wash your face with water and hand soap every night.”

……he makes a fair point once again

“Y00NGI, if you could just lie down here that would be great” namjoon points to the silver bed and you’re like low-key scared because it looks like an operating table

yoongi lies down and makes himself comfortable and rests his hands on his stomach

“i’m just going to be performing a basic electroencephalogram on you. i’m putting you to sleep now.”

a basic electroelephant-what-gram

you want to ask namjoon what the hell an electroscopicphahalalagram is but he looks pretty focused right now

yoongi’s eyes flutter shut and hoseok and jin work to place the small metal discs on his scalp and they’re all hooked up to some machines

suddenly a bunch of what you’re assuming to be yoongi’s statistics appear on namjoon’s monitor screen

all the information on there would be normal for a human except for the B A T T E R Y : 8 7 % part

“what’s that? and that? and that?”

namjoon’s been friends with you for a loNg long time so he’s learned to just drown you out whenever you get…. annoying

“is that his heartbeat? it’s pretty slow. what’s his heart made of? does he even have a heart? also - i have a question” you raise your hand and look around at the other boys expecting them to ask you what your question is but they never do

“i have a qUES-“

“wHAT y/n what is your question??” namjoon spins around and glares at you and you smile at him sheepishly

“if i cut yoongi open would he bleed??”

that’s

slightly concerning

“i’m sorry what”

“what i’m asking is does yoongi have.. like… human.. bodily fluids too…”

“i mean, like, yes? and no? his pee isn’t actually pee like if you gave him water to drink then he would just pee out water and maybe some motor oil if he has a loose screw but ya that’s it”

“oH you know what though i actually, uh,” taehyung stifles a laugh “okAy look i wanted to make him more realistic so like i bought a bottle of… fake semen and so there’s a little tank of semen inside of yoongi”

namjoon groans and turns to look at the younger boy “i told you not to!!!”

“i’m sorry!!!! i couldn’t help myself!!!! i promise it’s the good stuff tho like you can swallow it and it wouldn’t even-”

“oH my god i’m not talking about this. y/n, yoongi bleeds and kind of pees. and apparently he can ejaculate now.”

“so if you ever wanna hop on that diCK feel free to-“

“sHUT UP what if he can hear you!!!!” you slap your hands over yoongi’s ears “and yoongi isn’t even my type so i would never hoP on that dick”

that’s a blatant lie if yoongi hit on you at a club u would immediately drop to your knees

“stop talking about my android’s dick!!!!! whY did we even give him a dick in the first place!!!!”

“i had sO much fun moulding his dick out like lemme tell ya it’s just 7 inches of puRe girth-“

“STOP”

eventually everyone gets back to work and you’re entertaining yourself by spinning yourself around and around on a stool and also jimin gave you a pair of stethoscopes to play with and jin gave you a lollipop to suck on

(ur a literal child)

namjoon nods to himself because everything’s going according to plan

in fact yoongi is picking things up much faster than he thought

“emotional development is good.. heY look at that he’s already learned a couple new emotions!!!”

and you’re like ! dang he’s a fast learner what did he learn

you wheel over so that you’re right next to yoongi

“one of his new emotions are... irritation”

…..

THIS BITCH

you reach over and smack his cheek gently and ur like >:-) because he’s sleeping and he can’t feel you poking and prodding at him you can do whatever you want to take your frustrations out

“Could you be so kind as to release my face?” you jump when yoongi powers up out of nowhere and you’re just sitting there squishing his cheeks together

“why is your new emotion irritation?”

“Because i’ve been feeling it a lot as of late.”

“why?”

“I just have.”

“why?”

“…Because of a particular individual.”

“who?”

yoongi’s eye twitches and namjoon’s like lol because he can see the negative emotion bar rising higher and higher on the screen

“aLright alright cut it out y/n” jin scowls and pulls you away from yoongi before you have the opportunity to pull all the metal discs off his scalp

yoongi finds you absolutely infuriating

out of ALL the humans in the world he could’ve been assigned to

why did you have to be HIS human

you’re messy

lazy

irresponsible (he’s pretty sure you only have your job because you’re good friends w namjoon)

loud

manipulative

when he feels his hard drive overheating he tells himself to calm down

only a couple more months to go and then he can actually go and do something worth his time

like helping out at a hospital

working at a bank

maybe become like a teacher’s assistant or something

somEthing that helps society

helping a twenty something year old pick up her animal crackers off the floor is not a way to help society

“yoongi have you seen my reading glasses” yoongi’s in the middle of drying off the dishes when you pop into the kitchen “because i swear i left them in here but they’re not in here so then i thought they were in my bedroom but they’re not in my bedroom sO theN-“

“They’re on your head.”

“oh!!! ur right teehee”

yoongi grips onto the dish so hard it cracks a little

seven and a half more months

seven and a half

a month goes by and guess what

it’s that time again folks

you have to be an Adult and actually Socialize with your Adult Friends

you’re heading out with a couple of gal friends from your school days tonight

you know what though you’re just glad that you get a couple of hours away from yoongi

you’re kind of in a like-hate relationship with him

like you appreciate that he’s always there for you and he does a great job taking care of you and making sure you don’t spend too much time with your face in front a screen or overdose on animal crackers

but like

he’s alwAys hovering over you

like just now you were getting ready to do your makeup and yoongi was kind of just hanging out in the hallway pretending to dust the floors but you know it’s just because he doesn’t want you to accidentally stab your eyeball with your mascara wand again

it was pretty nasty cleaning black ink out of your eyeball  

also

side note

knowing that yoongi knows your exact location at any given moment is kind of creepy

and you kind of just wanna have a goOd time tonight okay

you look down at the bracelet around your wrist and watch the Y00NGI blink back at you

you consider smashing the damn thing to pieces because it is just made out of glass

you give it a test tap on the edge of the counter

clink

hm

your eyes widen when you see a teeny weeny little crack

huh

you raise your arm about to literally smash your wrist into the counter when suddenly

“Make sure to stay hydrated. Drink water after you consume alcohol of any kind.” yoongi appears behind you in the mirror and you quickly pull your arm back down and pretend like you’re just stretching out your limbs

“i know, yoongs. i’ve gone out partying before.”

“Who are you going out with?”

“a couple of girls i went to school with - you don’t know them” you purse your lips and apply a layer of lip gloss and yoongi watches you in the mirror

“I don’t know them?”

“of course you don’t know them you’ve never met them” you scoff

yoongi’s eyes turn into a shade of blue and if you look close enough you can see digits whizzing around in there

and suddenly

“Emma, Lauren, Hailey, Anna, and… Faith.”

your eyebrows furrow and you turn to face him

“how the hell did you-“

“Hailey seems to be a fan of partying. Be careful. Out of all of these girls the only one that is acceptable is Faith. I trust her. I have faith in her.”

jin must’ve snuck some kind of dad joke implant into yoongi because that was awful

yoongi turns and leaves the washroom and you’re like ????? how?????wat???? how did?????

about twenty minutes later you’re all dolled up and ready to go and you see yoongi rifling through your purse as you enter the living room

“i’ll take that, thank u very much” you snatch your purse from him and swing it over your shoulder before going to get your heels

“I was just making sure you have everything you need.”

“what do i need?”

“Tissues. Chapstick. A bottle of water. Your wallet. Your identification card. Your house keys.” he pauses for a second and then looks back at the tv “A pack of that godawful fruity, sugary gum you like so much.”

your heart warms a little that he packed your things for you anD he’s actually letting you have your juicy fruit gum

maybe you shouldn’t smash your bracelet into pieces

also jungkook did say it was expensive so there’s that

you slip into your heels and check to make sure you don’t have any lip gloss in your teeth in the mirror  

“What time should I expect your return?”

“when i come back” you respond simply and shut the door behind you and scurry over to the elevator as quickly as possible to avoid more of yoongi’s nagging

“Pushing the button aggressively like that will not make the elevator move any faster.” you groan quietly and turn around to see yoongi poking his head out of the front door at the end of the hall

the doors open and you shoot him a quick thumbs up before getting in

“Always carry your belongings with you. Do not accept drinks from strangers. Be aware of-“

when the doors close you’re like thANK god because your head could’ve exploded from yoongi’s irritating tips

he’s acting like you’ve never gone out a day in your life

sometimes you forget how rambunctious your girl-friends are

“i’m sorry you bought a whAt” you tilt your head in curiosity and hailey leans in a little more

you’ve been at the bar for like ten minutes and the conversation topic has already swerved into the ~sexual zone~

“i said i bouGHT A SEX BOT” everyone bursts into giggles and you’re like ohHH gotcha “i honestly don’t even need to hook up with anyone anymore because my bot totally does the job - thank god for technology. he’s better than all the boyfriends i’ve ever had - and he makes reALLY good pancakes in the morning”

“cheers for technology!!” emma raises her glass and everyone follows suit and clinks glasses

you didn’t even know sex bots were a thing

all the prostitutes in town must be fuming

“sex bot…” you trail off and now u can’t help but wonder if namjoon’s ever made a sex bot

…is yoongi supposed to be yOUR sex bot

“but like… u don’t think that’s kinda weird?? being in a relationship with a robot and all that” you purse your lips and everyone looks at you weirdly

“y/n - what’s wrong with you, girl? this is the 21st century! a robot-human relationship nowadays is totally normal” anna snorts and takes a sip of her drink

“ya but the relationship you’re talking about is purely a sexual relationship…. what about like,,, a real relationship” you purse your lips before reaching for the small bowl of peanuts in the middle

“i mean i don’t really see the problem with that tbh like date who you wanna date even if your significant other is made out of metal”

“hey, y/n! maybe if your little crush on jungkook doesn’t work out we can get a sex bot for you”

“i doN’t- i don’t want a sex bot, thanks” you laugh awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck

“why not!!!! it’s been like a trillion years since u got laid”

“i,,, i know but i’m not like actively seeKing to get laid i just… i been busy u know how it be”

it’s true!! you’ve been super busy

sex hasn’t really been a priority

plus one night stands really aren’t ur thing

you can’t see yourself having sex with a stranger

it’s just so

intimate

“you have to get yourself out there!!!! otherwise your pussy’s going to dry up and shrivel up into nothing” you wince at the crude language spilling out of emma’s mouth and ur like u know what i think my… i think my pee-pee is doing just fine

“seriously tho!!! c’mon you should live a little~! let’s find a cutie for you tonight to take home” lauren grins and looks over at the bar “how about the bartender?? he was totally checking out ur boobs when we were over there”

“you guys i- no, i’m really not…”

it’s pretty obvious you’re kind of uncomfortable by the way you’ve shrunken into yourself and started gnawing on your bottom lip

“hey hey hEy okay maybe not!” faith slaps lauren’s arm and she scowls in pain “let’s just have a girls night, hm? let’s just get wASted and not think about stupid boys for once!!! the guys here aren’t even thAT hot - second round of drinks are on me!” she waves a server over and hailey automatically orders a round of shots for the table

“thanks for that” you murmur quietly and nudge faith’s side after the conversation changes from you getting laid to lauren and hER desire for a sex bot too

“don’t mention it” she hums and reaches over to pinch your cheek

so

turns out these drinks are actually preTty strong and everyone’s tolerance for alcohol is preTty low

an hour later

everyone is a hot fuckign mess

“lizten listen listen n to me faithy honey taehyUng is totally into you but hshhshhhh dont’ tell him don’t tell him he’ll kill me if i tell you” you slur and slap a hand over faith’s mouth when you see her face light up with excitement

“omg reALLy because i’m super into him too he’s sO attractive” she squeals excitedly “but like did he teLL you that he was into me because it totally doesn’t count if it’s just a rumour”

“oh NO it’s like it’s like for sure real like i went into his office and he was fully jacking off to your instagram pictures” you hiccup and in the back of ur mind u know you’ve exposed a little too much but it’s too late now

and faith doesn’t exactly seem to mind learning that tidbit of information

“…..i’M GONNA SEND HIM A NUDE”

“nO” you snatch faith’s phone and put it on the other side of the table

“how do you make such hot friends?? i want hot boy-friends!!!!” nicole whines and downs the rest of her drink

“maybe weEEEE should all apply for jobs at bangtan laboratories”

“dibs on jin and his broad shoulders!!!!!”

“well if you take jin i’m taking jiMIN”

“i wANT JIMIN,, anD junGKOOK”

“i want jungkook’s kOOk”  

“i wanna get all up in namjoon’s dimplez he’s so cute ”

“well i want namjoon to get all up in MY GUTS”

“i’m taking hoseok!!!!!!”

“i will FIGHT YOU FOR HIM”

“I WANT THEM ALL”

another hour goes by…

[jeopardy theme song plays in the background]

“lOOK look it’s like fused to me and jungkook is the only one with the key” you raise your wrist so everyone can see your Y00NGI bracelet

“so like…….. you got a robot helper at home”

“ya”

“and he knows where u are all the time and ur temperature and ur heart rate and all that”

“ya”

“yoU shouldn’t- youshoulnd’t let these MEN control you like thiz” faith hiccups and you nod quickly in agreement

she grabs your wrist and flails it around “this bracelet don’t even gO with any outfits it’s so stupid”

“i don’t even- i should just smash it into smithereens” you slur and rest your head on her shoulder

all of you exchange looks and then everyone’s looking at the glass bracelet on your wrist

there is that little crack in it from when you tried smashing it earlier

“smash it” anna whispers

and then it starts

the satanic chanting

“smash it, smash it, smash it, smASH IT SMASH IT SMACHI T SMASHCIT SMASCHITSMACIHT” everyone’s slamming their glasses down on the table rhythmically

with all the energy in the atmosphere and the mojitos coursing through your veins you find yourself raising your arm and suddenly

huLK smASH

you grin when you raise your wrist and shake off the shattered shards of glass and everyone whoops and clinks glasses again

wow

giRL POWER

meanwhile

yoongi perks up immediately and blinks twice

it feels like a wire short-circuited inside of him somewhere

hm

it’s about 2:57 now

it’s very very late

now would be a good time to check up on you

he checked on you about an hour ago

you seemed fine but he could sense a loT of alcohol flowing through your veins

hopefully you’re hydrating yourself with water and not just mojitos

okay time to check up on u

…

…

…

nothing

okay

no need to panic

maybe the bracelet glitched or something

he can track you via your phone

…

…

…

there’s no signal

your phone must be out of fuckign battery agAIN

you never charge it!!!! why!!!!

okay great

what’s the plan

he jumps when his phone suddenly starts ringing and he notices it’s FaceTime call request from an unknown number

he lets out a sigh of relief when your pixelated face suddenly appears on the screen

“yoongi!!!!!!”

“Y/N? Whose phone are you-“

“my phone is outta battery and also i broke my bracelet because you mEN can’t control me”

he hears a lot of giggling in the background

“What? Control you? The purpose of your bracelet is so that I can check up on- Oh my god.” you raise your wrist in triumph to reveal a couple loose wires wrapped around it and yoongi’s like o…..o no “Namjoon is going to kill you.”

you hiccup and lean against anna’s shoulder

“i gotta pee”

“Are you on your way back now?”

“are you on your way back now?”

“I’m serious, Y/N. It’s almost 3 in the morning.”

“i’m seriouz y/n i’s almost threeeee in the morning”

yoongi lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose

you’re a mess and you’re in no state to come home by yourself so late into the night

“I’m coming to pick you up.”

“u don’t know where i AM”

“I always know where you are. Stay put. And go pee.”

yoongi fishes your car keys out of the side drawer and tucks his phone into his back pocket

…

…

…

DRIVING 101 MANUAL: DOWNLOAD COMPLETE

okay cool now he knows how to drive

“you’re right he IS cute” anna gasps after yoongi hangs up on you

“right??? if hE hit on me tonight i would totally go home with him” you grin and hand hailey back her phone

“his lips are real pretty”

“his hair looks so soft”

“and that voice??? sO sexy are you kidding me???”

“i wish someone would take care of me like yoongi takes care of y/n :’((”

“you guys stop talking about y/n’s manz like that!!!”

“he is not- he is most definitely noT my mans” you laugh and shake your head

okay well like

he kinda is your mans

but he’s not at the same time

you felt a twinge of jealousy after all ur friends started gushing about how cute yoongi is

ahem

“how about one last round of shOTs before yoongi the party pooper comes n gets me!!!!” you change the subject and everyone bursts into cheers

one last round of shots turn into three last rounds of shots so

everyone’s stumbling in their heels when you guys finally leave the bar

lauren has an arm wrapped around your waist keeping you stable because your alcohol tolerance is the lowest out of everyone’s

and then you see a familiar looking bot heading towards you

“yOONGs my prince in scarily realistic silicone skin!!!!!!!!” you practically throw yourself at yoongi when you see him and immediately press wet kisses to his cheek

he’s not surprised that you’re an affectionate drunk

“Alright, alright. Where’s your purse?” you’re like aLL over yoongi and his eyes are going crazy trying to keep track of you

“i dunNo i want a piggyback ride” thank god yoongi was programmed to have superhuman reflexes because if he didn’t then you definitely would have fallen flat on your butt

yoongi sighs before reaching back to clasp under your knees and he accidentally gropes your butt before his hands quickly slip back under your knees and you can’t help but giggle

“buy me dinner before u touch me there u naughty boy”

“Where’s your p-“

“y/n, don’t forget your- oh!!! oh!!! you must be yoOngi!!!!” yoongi’s suddenly overwhelmed when a group of tipsy girls approach him

he does a quick scan of each of their faces and recognises them as your friends

“Yes, I’m Y00NGI. M1N Y00NGI, Y/N’s personal human mind model adaptive super android.” he likes to keep it professional when meeting new people

“well, min yoongi. here’s y/n’s purse.” yoongi expects you to reach out and take it yourself under he realises you’ve fallen asleep and you’re definitely drooling on his shoulder “sorry about y/n - we let her get a little crazy tonight.”

“yoU’re just as hot as y/n said you were!!!!” yoongi blushes immediately and diverts his gaze before letting out a small chuckle

he’s definitely going to use that against you when you sober up tho lmao

he turns his head and his nose nudges into your cheek making you stir before you’re nuzzling your nose into his neck obviously seeking warmth

“Should I call you ladies a cab?”

“oh, and he’s a gentleman too. i need me one of these yoongi’s.”

“we’re fine, thank you. we already called for an uber. thank you for taking care of y/n for us. we were kind of worried about her after her breakup with kihyun, but it’s nice to see that she’s in good hands.” lauren smiles and places a hand on yoongi’s shoulder

yoongi nods and offers her a smile

“It was nice meeting all of you. Have a safe trip home.”  

“Y/N, wake up…” yoongi gently grasps your arm and shakes you a little

you let out a soft sigh and your nose wrinkles and yoongi’s like o,,,,oh my….. how cute,,,… wait waT is wrong w mE omg

“C’mon, we gotta get you out of your dress and brush your teeth and all that.”

you whine and shake your head before settling even further into the front seat

yoongi sighs and shoves the car keys into his back pocket before bending down and scooping you up in his arms

you immediately melt against his chest as he wraps one of your arms around his neck

yoongi winces when he accidentally knocks your head against the frame of your bedroom door

“You better not have a random leg spasm otherwise you’ll take out one of my eyes.” yoongi mutters and takes your heels off before setting them aside

somehow he manages to change (peel) you out of your dress and he wipes your makeup off aND he brushes your teeth anD he puts on your moisturiser without you waking up

you truly are a deep sleeper

he tucks you into bed and he’s about to leave the room when suddenly you’re reaching out and gripping onto his wrist

“Out of all the moments to wake up, you wake up now?” yoongi teases and bends down next to you

“stay with me” you pout and tug on his wrist and yoongi feels his fake heart go boom boom

he brushes some of your hair out of your face and lets out a sigh “I have to charge up.”

“my app told me u were at 76% when i last checked” you pat the empty side of the bed “stay with me”

somehow yoongi finds himself settling into bed next to you and he kinda just lies there like a statue

“u have to get under the blankets fool” yoongi sighs and tucks himself under the blankets

and he’s 110% sure you’re still a little tipsy because the next thing he knows you’re snuggling up to him

“you’re warm”

“Thanks. It’s my generator.” he clears his throat and shifts to get a little more comfortable  

you don’t respond and he assumes you’ve already fallen asleep

“thanks for taking care of me all the time”

yoongi lies awake the entire night feeling a little warmer than usual

“okay, we re-modified your bracelet. now, instead of glass, we used a basically indestructible metal. we should’ve gone with the metal in the first place because this particular type is a pretty good conductor which means faster connections and-“

“but this one’s ugly the glass one was prettier” you interrupt namjoon and scrunch your nose at the chunky metal bracelet around your wrist

“…well you should’ve thought about that before smashing it into pieces”

“my friends are very convincing” you mutter sheepishly and twist the bracelet around your wrist before tracing your fingers over the engraved Y00NGI

jungkook comes over and takes your wrist to look at the bracelet and you can’t help but feel your heart go boom boom a littLe because he’s standing so close to you right now omg

you’re swinging your legs back and forth and you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth as you watch jungkook fiddle with the bracelet

yoongi glances at you and furrows his brows a little

he’s already synced up to your bracelet so he should be able to…

yEp

your endorphins are shooting through the roof right now

yoongi feels an unfamiliar emotion bubbling inside of him

oh

it’s jealousy

“The bracelet’s already synced up to me. I don’t think you need to look at it anymore.” yoongi steps in between you and kook and he tilts his head at jungkook and jungkook’s like ohHO okay well i’m just doing my job

“kook get over here and help me with these damn triplex wires” jin calls jungkook over and he excuses himself but looks at yoongi a little weirdly

“what was that?? we were totally vibing”

“If by ‘vibing’, you mean you drooling over Jungkook while he fiddled with your bracelet - then yes, you were totally vibing.”

you scoff and look at yoongi before leaning back a little and crossing your arms

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“are you jealous of jungkook?”

yoongi trips over his words and he refuses to look you in the eye

“That’s ridiculous. Why would I ever be jealous of Jungkook? What is there to be jealous of?”

“you know… you’re the only human mind model adaptive super android for me, right?” you coo and reach up to pinch yoongi’s cheek and then he’s growling and swatting your hand away

you find yourself finally warming up to yoongi as time passes

you start enjoying his company instead of dreading it

and he feels the same way

:~)

maybe the next couple of months won’t be too bad after all

you’re in the middle of cataloguing some new books that just came in when suddenly you feel someone hovering over you

“hi can i help you find som-“ you look up and stop talking when you see /??? yoongi?? behind the counter

“what the- how did you- how are you here right now??” you furrow your brows in confusion and yoongi plops a little bento box on the countertop

“Public transportation. Eat. You’re hungry.”

“i’m not-“ your stomach growls right on cue and yoongi gives you a pointed look before opening up the bento box

“Pork and vegetable dumplings, and pan-fried chive pancakes. The dipping sauce is here. I added some sesame oil, soy sauce, and sriracha to the vinegar because you seem to like that combination. Animal crackers for later. Later. And a juice box. The flavour is organic apple and grape.” your stomach growls again at the sight of this goOD food and you swear you almost start drooling

“aw yoongs you didn’t have to make all of this for me…” yoongi hands you a pair of chopsticks

“Yes, I did. Otherwise, you’d be having a chocolate bar and a can of coke for lunch. I’ll go home now.” yoongi turns to leave and before you know it you quickly lean over the countertop and grab his arm

yoongi stops and looks down at your hand gripping his arm before looking back up at you

“wAit maybe you,,, you can stay here? with me? i’m all alone here and i’m sure there’s not a lot to do at home besides cook and clean and all that.” you clear your throat when yoongi tilts his head and blinks owlishly at you “or,,, not…”

“No. I’ll stay. And then we can go home together.”

home

usually he says ‘your place’ or something like that like from that night you broke your bracelet

but he just said ‘home’

“C’mon, eat up. I didn’t slave over the stove for nothing.” yoongi joins you behind the desk and immediately picks up the thickEst book from the pile that you were reorganising before he got there “History of Korea…”

you shove a dumpling into your mouth and your eyes roll to the back of your head because goddAmn this is good

you are fully having a foodgasm right now

just when you’re about to shove a second dumpling into your mouth you jump when you hear the sound of a book slapping shut

“Well, that was interesting. What other books can I read?”

wat

you turn to look at yoongi and he’s rifling through the other books on your desk

“wait- you- did you finish reading that already???” there are question marks floating above your head because you aRE conFuSIoN

yoongi responds with a hum and picks up a second book

this one’s the history of russia

“I think I’ll read all the history books today.”

“all of- yoongi there are like 1000 or moRe history books in this library i doubt you’ll be able to read them all” you snort and dip your dumpling in some sauce

about twenty minutes later your stomach is full of dumplings and chive pancakes and you couldn’t be happier

you’re leaning back against your chair and patting your stomach happily and yoongi’s having a good time sitting next to you with his nose in a book

“So how many books have you read in the last twenty minutes? 500?” you snort while packing up the box and putting everything back into the lunch bag

“Nah, I’m still on book 496.” yoongi sighs and shuts the book “I’m not fully charged and it’s messing with my speed.”

“I believe that’s 10 points to me, and 0 to you.” yoongi smirks when another paper ball lands right into the bin and you groan in frustration

you finished cataloguing the books faster than you thought and that’s how you ended up having a paper ball throwing competition with yoongi

it was his suggestion surprisingly

but now you know he only suggested it because he would win the competition

you probably should’ve taken into account that he can calculate the perfect angle and the perfect speed at which to throw the ball at

“this is a dumb game”

“No, it’s not. Throw your ball into the waste bin.”

yoongi scowls when you throw your ball at his head and in retaliation he leaps over and immediately begins to dig his fingers into your sides

“yOONGI stop!!!!!” there are tears in your eyes from how hard you’re laughing and you crumple to the floor in defeat bringing yoongi down with you

yoongi laughs but eventually shows some mercy and stops tickling you

and now the two of you are realising that he is very much on top of you

you’re both kind of panting and your cheeks flush a little when he tilts his head and smirks

“you’re mean”

“I’ve been told.”

“Give me the keys, I’ll drive.”

“it’s my car i’m driving”

“You drive like a maniac. Keys.” arguing with yoongi never ends well for you so you grumble before plopping your keys into his open palm

you hear the beep beep of your car unlocking and yoongi opens your door for you

“ah, thank you, kind sir” you get in and toss your purse into the back before reaching down to take your shoes off

“Seatbelt… m’lady.” yoongi slams his door shut and you buckle your seatbelt and lean against the window

“Where are we going now?”

“We’re heading back home, obviously.”

there it is again

‘home’

his eyes flicker up to where you’re flipping and unflipping the sun-visors

“Stop doing that.” he reaches up and slams it shut and you pout then lean back against the seat again

yoongi thinks you might actually have the mentality of a six year old child

“Wha- What is this?” after putting your shoes away and hanging your coat up yoongi walks into the living room and sees you sprawled out on the couch with your eyes glued to the screen watching some duMb brain-melting cartoon show

“spongebob squarepants reruns.” you answer simply and shift your position until you’re upside down lying flat on your back with your legs hanging off the top of the couch

your face is turning red from all the blood going right to your head

ur an idiot

“You are not watching this. You should watch something more educational.”

“i’ve been out of school for like two years i don’t- hEeeeEy” you start whining immediately when yoongi grabs the remote and switches it to the national geographic channel

omG all these documentaries are so boring

“Here, this one. It’s called… Beneath the Water.” he pauses and you recognise his thinking face

his thinking face is when he blanks out and like downloads a shit ton of information into his database  

“Beneath the Water is a mini documentary-series focusing on the history of mythological, underwater creatures. Tonight’s episode is about mermai-“

“mermaids??? jesus yoongi how old do u think i am”

“You were just watching Spongebob Squarepants.”

you grumble out a ‘touché’ and switch positions so you’re actually sitting on the couch

“I’ll go and make dinner.” you watch yoongi disappear into the kitchen and you immediately reach for the remote

“Don’t even try!”

oh my GoD

yoongi’s like a babysitter from hell

“…i hate documentaries” you mutter to yourself but you don’t seem to have a choice so you lean back and make yourself comfortable

spongebob squarepants scene transition ~wun hour latier~

yoongi has to remind you to chew your food because your attention is fully on the documentary right now

he has his elbow propped up on the arm of the couch and he’s just watching you sitting cross-legged behind the coffee table with your stir-fried vegetables and fried (brown) rice ((because it’s healthier and has less sugar))

he smiles to himself when he sees you try to feed yourself while keeping your eyes on the screen

a carrot chunk falls off your chopsticks but you stick the chopsticks in your mouth anyway and you??? start chewing??? yoongi’s staring at you and he’s like there’s nothing in your moUTH

“Maybe you can continue watching the documentary after you finish your dinner.” you literally growl at yoongi when he reaches for the remote and he raises his hands in defence immediately

“Your rice is getting cold. Eat up.” yoongi sighs when you shove like three grains of rice into your mouth and the rest of it spills onto the table 

“Okay, I didn’t think it would have to come to this.”

yoongi gets off the couch and squeezes in next to you and pulls your plate and your bowl towards him

“what are you doing??” you whine because your food is being snaTCHED

“I’m feeding you because you’re incapable of feeding yourself. The sun’s going to come up by the time you finish your meal and you need to be in bed in an hour and a half. You haven’t showered yet, either. Open.” yoongi holds up a hearty spoonful of rice and you’re hesitant at first because now you really feel like a baby and you feel kinda silly but then he’s nudging it against your lips and you open your mouth automatically

and of course your head turns right back to the screen while you eat happily

…actually you could probably get used to this lol

you are now realising how lazy you are

hm

one month later

it’s a lazy friday night and you and yoongi are in the middle of a documentary marathon but of course you got distracted and started talking about something else

you two were actually supposed to go out tonight (there’s this adorable ice cream parlour you’ve been begging yoongi to go to) but then yoongi predicted that it was going to rain because apparently ‘Humidity levels are at 75% right now.’

“so the vine goes ‘road work ahead? yeah, i sure hope it does’!” you burst into laughter and when you calm down yoongi’s staring at you like you’re crazy “don’t you get it? because the sign said that the road works ahead and-“

“Yep. I get it. I just don’t get it, you know? Is this what humans find humorous?”

“well ya i guess so”

“Oh. What a sad, sad world we live in.”

okay so yoongi obviously isn’t a fan of vine humour

maybe you can find something else to talk about

“did namjoon make like a girl version of you?? maybe he’s making a lil girlfriend for you back at the lab” you wink and nudge his side playfully

“I did overhear a conversation between Namjoon and Seokjin about creating a female version of me. M1N Y00NJI will be her name, I believe.”

“oh. so she’s not a girlfriend, she’s like… she’s like your sister”

“Yes. And incest is highly inappropriate.”

“and super gross.”

“And super gross.” yoongi nods in agreement

there’s a moment of silence and the two of you stare at the documentary playing on the screen until yoongi breaks the silence

“Do you have a significant other?”

“me? oh god, no. i mean, like, i used to, but then-“

“It’s okay. I know all about him. You don’t have to explain.” yoongi hands you the bowl of popcorn when you reach out and make grabby hands at it

another moment of silence goes by

“Do you have feelings for Jungkook?”

now thAt gets your attention

you clear your throat and turn to face yoongi before pursing your lips

you were pretty sure you still had a teeny weeny crush on jungkook but you’re 100% confident that it’s not as intense as it used to be

like sure sometimes you still fantasise about kissing jungkook and holding his hand and all that gooey stuff but like

most of the time you’re with yoongi and in the couple of months that you’ve gotten to know him you realise how thoughtful and sweet and caring he is underneath his cold demeanour

and you had a fleeting thought that maybe your romantic feelings for jungkook had transferred over to yoongi but

well that would be silly

after all

yoongi’s not even human

“i… i mean, kind of? but i know he’d never go for someone like me, so I-“

“Why not?” yoongi keeps staring ahead “You’re very nice. You’re funny. You’re thoughtful. You’re kind. And you always share your snacks with other people even though I know you would much rather hog your crackers and juice to yourself.”

you laugh a little at that and then shrug your shoulders

“i dunno. if he was interested in me then he would’ve made a move but…” you continue rambling and yoongi drowns you out a little

yoongi is in a little bit of a sticky situation

last week he kind of developed a new emotion and he’s not exactly sure what it is

it’s a positive emotion for sure

and for some reason he only feels it when he’s around you

but he knows that it isn’t right

he shouldn’t be feeling like this with you

it’s not appropriate and it’s not fair to you if he suddenly told you that he felt a certain way about you

as disappointing as it is at the end of the day he is just… an android

“You should tell him that you like him. You only live once, you know.” yoongi suddenly cuts you off and he swallows thickly

he already regrets telling you that

“He’s working late at the lab tonight. Maybe you can bring him a drink. You still have the 6-pack of banana milk that you were saving for when he comes over.”

yep

he’s definitely regretting this

he turns to look at you and he can see the gears clicking in your head

he’s not just doing this for you

he’s doing this for himself

seeing you with someone else will help him control this new emotion

so this is a good plan

yep

“i don’t… i don’t know, yoongs. i don’t think it’s a good idea.” you scratch the back of your neck and jump when yoongi turns off the tv suddenly

“Y/N, you have to do this. You like him.”

yoongi is right

you do… like jungkook

…don’t you?

when yoongi shuts the door after you leave he lets out a small breath and ignores the new feeling growing in his chest

he feels a pang of pain within him

but this is good

he can’t be with you and that’s just the way things are

you don’t think you’ve ever run so quickly in your entire life but there you are practically sprinting to the labs in the middle of a fuckign thunderstorm (it was fine the first two minutes and then suddenly there was a rumble and it starting raining cats and dogs) because you’re about to confess your feelings of ~romance~ to jungkook

your heart tingles a little at the thought of jungkook’s smile

and the sound of his laugh

it’s kind of hard to see with the rain pouring down on you and your hair in your eyes but you manage to find your employee card in your wallet

“c’mon, don’t let me down now” you swipe your employee card in the access bar and it blinks from red to green and you hear the kachunk of the front doors unlocking

your shoes squeak down the hallway as you run towards the direction of the genius lab

you slow down as you approach the two white doors and you let out a shaky breath

you can hear jungkook talking to someone and you automatically assume he’s on the phone with taehyung or someone else

this is going to be great

you’re gonna be fine

you have high hopes!!!!

you give yourself a mini pep-talk before nodding confidently and striding towards the white doors

there are little circle-shaped windows on the door and as you walk closer you start to see the top of jungkook’s cute lil head

and just as you’re about to push open the doors

you see it

jungkook and ji-eun

they’re laughing at something but you don’t know what

the smile slowly fades from your face and you feel your heart drop to your stomach

all you notice is her hand on his thigh and the way they’re leaning into each other as they giggle

jungkook’s cheeks are flushed and so are ji-eun’s and he stares at her like…

like he loves her

he’s never looked at you like that before

and suddenly ji-eun’s leaning in and planting her lips against jungkook’s

and for some reason

nothing

you feel nothing

well

that’s a lie

you feel a little twinge of heartbreak because you’ve been crushing on jungkook for so long and he’s woW they are definitely making out right now

as you head back the only boy on your mind is yoongi

because yoongi’s always there for you at the end of the day no matter what

on the trek back home you’re suddenly hit with the depressing thought of ‘well, it happened again. you thought someone liked you and it turns out that they liked someone else aka you got rejected for the millionth time in your life’

that kind of dampens your mood and suddenly

you’re just… really, really sad

why does this always happen to you?

you get your hopes up only to have them shot down at the end

and each time you think something different will happen but you always get the same result

damn

“Hey! How did it g- Woah.” yoongi shoots up from the couch when he hears the front door open and the familiar sound of you kicking your shoes off and tossing your keys on the table

you’re soaking wet from the rain and you’re still clutching the six pack of banana milk to your chest

and usually you greet yoongi when you get home but you’re just silently peeling your jacket off and running a hand through your tangled hair

that can only mean

oh

yoongi knows you more than anything else in the world so he knows that the last thing you want is to talk about what just happened

so he acts natural

“You’re going to catch a cold if you keep standing around like that. Come - I’ll draw a bath for you.” he picks up your wet jacket before grasping your wrist and leading you towards the bathroom

“with bubbles?” you murmur quietly and if yoongi had a heart it would clench right now because he’s never seen you look so defeated before

“With all the bubbles in the entire world.”

yoongi dips his hand into the water to test the temperature before pulling it out and shaking some bubbles off

“Alright, I think we’re good to go.” he gets up off his knees before wiping his hands off on his shirt

you toss the dirty makeup wipe in the bin before reaching down to undo the knot of your robe and yoongi’s like okAy i guess that’s my cue to leave

“I’ll be in the living room. We… we can have ice cream after your bath if you want.”

“strawberry cheesecake?”

“Mhm. Don’t stay in for too long or you’ll become wrinkly.” yoongi shuts the door behind him and heads towards the living room

his goal tonight is to cheer you up from this damn jungkook fiasco

he hates to see you upset

you don’t deserve to have your heart broken

you’re a sweet girl and you’re funny and kind and adorable and yoongi… yoongi really, really has taken a liking to you

he doesn’t know when it happened

but one day when you were telling him about your day he kinda just had a weird feeling

he noticed that he was paying more attention to the way your lips would curl around certain words and the way your nose would crinkle slightly whenever you laugh

it’s been almost six months since he first met you

you with your (still) mismatched socks and your greasy pizza

he shakes his head and hurries to get the living room ready and comfortable for you for after your bath

things are different now.

“you forgot to get my PJs for me so i just grabbed your hoodie out of the hamper” yoongi jumps when he hears your voice from behind him

he turns around and it takes everything within him not to explode from all the uwus right now

your cheeks are rosy and your hair is a lil damp but you look so cute wearing his hoodie and a pair of mismatched fuzzy socks

“Come sit. I have ice cream and a whole line-up of your favourite romantic comedies we can watch.”

“you really know the way to my heart” you sigh happily and plop down next to yoongi and he’s fully aware that he’s overheating a little bit right now

his face is sO hot

about half an hour passes and yoongi figures he’d give it a go

it is good to get your feelings out after all

“So… you gonna tell me what happened?”

“in the movie? haven’t you been paying attention?”

“Not in the movie, dummy. With… Jungkook?”

there’s a moment of silence and you slowly set the tub of ice cream down before clearing your throat

yoongi lowers the volume of the tv

“yeah, i don’t know.. it was stupid of me to think that jungkook would be interested in me so…i dunno i’m not that bummed out about it for some reason??” you scratch the back of your neck and lean back against the couch

there’s another moment of silence before yoongi speaks up

“You should be with someone more compatible with you.” you don’t know if it’s just the light playing tricks on your eyes but you swear you see yoongi’s cheeks heat up a little “According to your common interests, personality type, and even astrological signs - you and Jungkook are a mere 36% romantically compatible.”

“that makes sense….. out of all the boys who’s the most compatible with me? just curious” you lean back against the couch and you can’t help but smile when you see yoongi and his concentration face

he definitely picked it up from you because your eyebrows scrunch together and your lips purse slightly and he’s doing exactly that

“You and Namjoon: 62%. You and Seokjin: 51%. You and Hoseok: 28%. You and Jimin: 72%. You and Taehyung: 69%.” yoongi pauses and he looks like he wants to say something “…Youandme:98%.”

“you know i really thought that joon and i would be more compatible considering we’ve known each other since- wait what”

did he just

you and him??????? are 98% compatible???????/?

the two of you are kind of just staring at each other and for the first time yoongi’s the one who averts his gaze and he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck

woW he really did pick up your habits no wonder you guys are compatible

you like yoongi but he’s a robot and you’re a human and sure in today’s society it’s pretty normal for humans to seek comfort and companionship in an android but you never thought you’d be one of them

like you always saw yourself being with another human that was why you pined after jungkook so much but

what you needed was right in front of you this whole time

and yes you have to admit that at some point in time your feelings for yoongi shifted from platonic to romantic but you thought you were just getting attached because of the lack of romance in your life

and yes you’ve gotten used to yoongi waking you up every morning and sending you off with a cup of coffee and then when you get home he’s always there with dinner and he’s always down to cuddle

and you remember how roboT-y and coldhearted he was eight months ago but he’s a completely different android now

he’s a big softie and he’s sweet and kind and funny and charming

oh god

you like yoongi

but

he’s not even

he’s not even a person he’s a robot

“I’m sorry. That was inappropriate of me. I’m sensing discomfort from you. Please forget I said anything. I must head back and recharge. My battery is low.” yoongi quickly gets up from the couch and before you can say anything he’s dashing off to his room and you can hear him shut the door quietly

you check his app on your phone

his battery is at 72% only

that night you find yourself standing outside of yoongi’s room with your fist raised to the door

you can’t bring yourself to knock because what the heck are you going to say????

you decide that the best thing to do for now is just leave yoongi alone

it’ll be good for the both of you to have a little alone time

let you think things out and all that

yeah

you nod to yourself and head to your bedroom before shutting the door behind you

you’ll see yoongi tomorrow

you wake up by yourself the next morning

your body’s used to waking up early now which is good but a part of you wanted to wake up to see yoongi pushing open your curtains or even getting your clothes ready for you

you make a cup of coffee for yourself and spend about twenty minutes watching some tv and sipping quietly on your coffee

you’re hoping the fact that you’re watching cartoons will lure yoongi out of his room but

nothing

“yoongi? i’m leaving for work now. i’ll see you later?” you’re standing in front of yoongi’s room with your hand on the door handle

you get silence in response

“yoongs?” you push down the door handle and your brows furrow in confusion when you realise the door’s been locked

your heart clenches a little

he’s never locked the door before

he doesn’t even want to talk to you

and you don’t want to bother him and make it worse

fuck

your phone buzzes and you pull it out to see that you have to leave now if you want to be on time

okay

maybe you’ll see him when you come back??

“morning, y/n!” you nearly drop the stack of books in your arms when jungkook appears out of nowhere

“oh, hey kook” you muster a smile and set the books down carefully

“i brought you a coffee and a muffin” he puts it down on the countertop before shooting you a signature smile

and for some reason your heart doesn’t flutter in the same way it usually does because all you can think about it yoongi

“thanks, kook.” you sigh and plop down on your chair “what’s up?”

“you’re a girl, right?”

ouch

you look down at your boobs

“last time i checked, yes”

he blushes and immediately chuckles before scratching the back of his neck

“i-i mean, like, you’re a girl, so you would know what girls like”

“uh-huh”

“since you’re a girl-“

“as you’ve established multiple times”

“where would you want to go? on like, a first date kinda scenario”

huh

this must be for ji-eun

“i’m pretty basic, so a dinner and a movie would suffice! even like a netflix binge at home would make me happy. yoongi and i have been binge watching these nature documentaries and he doesn’t usually want me eating on the couch because one time i accidentally got spaghetti all over the pillows and-“ you immediately cut yourself off and the smile kinda fades from your face

you miss yoongi so much

“um, yeah - dinner and a movie.” you clear your throat and shrug

“you okay?” jungkook furrows his brows and looks at you in a concerned manner

“ya! yeah, i’m fine. sorry, i just… went off on a tangent there.” you laugh nervously

maybe you should tell jungkook about yoongi

but then he’d ask you what happened and you don’t want to have to explain the whole thing to him

it’ll be fine you’ll figure something out

“you should probably head back. thank you for the coffee and the muffin!!”

the rest of the day kind of drags on slowly

you find yourself looking at the clock very frequently waiting for it to hit 5:30 so you can leave and go home and hopefully see yoongi

but you don’t see him when you get back

and you don’t see him the next day

or the next day

or the next day

your concern grows as the days go by

yoongi literally hasn’t come out of his room in days

you decided you’d leave him alone mainly because you didn’t know how to approach the situation yourself

you knocked on his door a couple times to remind him to charge up but each time you were just met with silence

another three days go by and yoongi still hasn’t come out of his room

you’ve been doing everything to try and get him to come out

you turned on all the stoves

you left all the lights on

you even left the door unlocked one night which was terrifying because anyone could just walk in

you also accidentally sliced your finger when you were making a sandwich one afternoon and you were bleeding all over the place but yoongi didn’t rush out with a first aid kit like he usually does

you check your Y00NGI app on your phone everyday and everyday it says he’s 100% charged so at least you don’t have to worry about that

but tonight

something just doesn’t feel right

you’re not exactly sure what it is

you can barely focus on the nature documentary playing on the TV

you twist your bracelet around your wrist and you’re like okay that’s it i gotta check on yoongi

you open all the kitchen drawers and finALLy find the key to yoongi’s room

“yoongi? i’m coming in,” you sigh and shove the key into the hole before twisting and-

holy shit

“yoongi!” you gasp and immediately scramble over and fall to your knees

yoongi’s on the ground and he’s completely pale

you can see all the lines and wires and digits lighting up under his skin

you grasp his face and see that his iris’ and pupils are milky  

“oh god oh god oh god oh god” you manage to yank the power chord down from his pod and you shove it into the nape of his neck and your phone automatically syncs up with the pod

N O   S I G N A L

“what?? no signal??” you unplug it and shove it into yoongi’s neck again and still you’re met with the blinking red  N O   S I G N A L

“no no nonononono yoongi please c’mon” you grab his shoulders and shake him hard but he remains… lifeless “oh god, fuCk”

quickly, you dial namjoon’s number and the next thing you know you feel a lump growing in your throat and your eyes are starting to well up with tears

“hello?”

“namjoon, help, i- i don’t know what happened- yoongi, he- i just came in and-“ you’re stuttering all over the place and namjoon has no idea what’s happening

“y/n, slow down - what’s wrong?”

“i-i don’t know! i don’t know what’s wrong with him, i should’ve checked on him earlier but - oh god, namjoon, something’s wrong with yoongi h-his eyes are all milky and-”

“what? y/n - bring him to the lab, okay? we’ll meet you there and see what we can do”

“o-okay”

“it’s going to be fine, yoongi’s going to be fine. hurry, okay?”

“yeah, okay” you hang up and tuck your phone into your pocket and you give yourself a second to calm down

it’ll be fine

yoongi’s going to be fine

“c’mon, yoongi” you grunt and you end up basically dragging yoongi down the hallway and out the door

how the hell did this even happen?

how did he make it seem like he was 100% charged and his vitals were good???

this is literally all your fault

you should’ve said something the night he told you that you two were the most romantically compatible

you should’ve told him you felt the same way but nO you were too scared of what other people might think of you being in a relationship with a damn robot

being in a relationship with an android is sO normal nowadays

what were you thinking?? you should’ve said something to him instead of letting him lock himself up in his room

you look at the front mirror and see yoongi just slouching over in the back and his head his bobbing up and down

you quickly wipe your tears as you speed down the highway

the last thing you need is to get into a car crash so you can’t be sobbing and driving at the same time

when you get to the lab you’re relieved to see all of the boys waiting outside with a gurney

you practically stumble out of the car and the boys are quick to get yoongi out

“on the count of three - one, two, three-!” jungkook and jin lift yoongi’s limp body onto the gurney and goD knowing that yoongi’s in this state makes you want to cry even more

hoseok immediately plugs a power line into yoongi’s neck

yoongi’s veins all light up momentarily before disappearing and he seizes up

“what happened??” namjoon gives you a quick hug before pulling away to look at you with worry

“i.. i don’t know - it’s my fault, he said something to me and i- i should’ve said something back but i didn’t and-“

namjoon rushes over and shines a flashlight into yoongi’s eyes

“his pupils aren’t responding” hoseok mutters and namjoon nods in acknowledgement “what the hell happened?”

“he overcharged himself. his wires are fried.” namjoon murmurs in response and turns yoongi’s head to inspect his charging port “y/n, how long did he lock himself up for?”

“i don’t know, it must’ve been like… like 10 days?” namjoon curses to himself

an android overcharging itself almost never happens

unless yoongi did it on purpose

“okay. let’s get him into the lab and see what we can do.”

you grip onto yoongi’s hand as everyone heads into the building

“i…i think we might have to reboot his system because i honestly have no idea what other option we have”

“wait hyung but if we reboot his system won’t that wipe his database clean-“

“it’s going to be fine.” namjoon gives jimin a warning look and jimin’s like eughghhhh okayyyYy aND looks at you worryingly

once they wipe yoongi’s database there’s a high chance he’ll forget everything

including you

they’re about to bring yoongi into the lab but then namjoon notices you’re still holding his hand and he’s like okay you have to wait outside y/n i’m sorry

“but i wanna go inside too” you whimper and step even closer to the gurney

“i know you do but we can’t have anyone besides us in the lab when we’re rebooting a bot”

“why not??”

“y/n we just can’t it’s the rule-“

“no. i’m going inside too because-“

“y/n we love you but we seriously can’t let you in, okay? you can see yoongi afterwards.” jin cuts in and looks at you seriously and reaches down to pull your hand away from yoongi

your grip on him only tightens and with each passing moment you get more and more distraught and the boys have no idea what to do

“y/n, we don’t have time-”

“no please i wanna go inside i wanna be with yoongi” you’re sobbing at this point and namjoon’s heart clenches at the sight of how distraught you are

they all give each other looks of acknowledgement

the plan is to make you let go and then they’ll all move quickly into the lab

namjoon reaches down quickly and yanks your hand off and jungkook and hoseok work to push the gurney into the lab with jimin and jin holding the doors open

the moment you feel yoongi’s hand slip from your grasp you immediately go into a panic mode and you chase after joon and the others but suddenly taehyung’s grabbing you from behind keeping you in the waiting area

“c’mon, jagi, it’s okay,” you feel taehyung wrap an arm around you from behind but that only serves to make you struggle and freak out even more

“nO NO NO PLEASE PLEASE NAMJOON LET ME GO IN DON’T TAKE YOONGI AWAY FROM ME-“ namjoon shakes his head and drowns you out as he shuts and bolts the door behind him

he can still hear you sobbing and he hears poor taehyung trying to console you  

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” both you and tae are on the floor and he’s wrapped you up in a hug and is stroking your hair

his own eyes are welling up with tears because he hates seeing his friends in pain like this

“it’s all my fault,” you hiccup and taehyung shakes his head quickly

“it’s not. nothing is your fault. you didn’t know.”

“but what if they can’t reboot him and he doesn’t make-“

“y/n, your friends are all geniuses, okay? yoongi’s going to be fine.”

you spend the next two hours cuddled up to taehyung in the waiting room

you’re going in and out of sleep because it’s nearly 3AM and still no word from namjoon

“i think i should take you home, jagi” taehyung whispers and you shake your head quickly

“i can’t leave him again” you sniffle and rub at your eyes because god damnit you feel yourself crying again

“you need to sleep”

“i’ll sleep here”

“tae?” you perk up when you see hoseok poke his head out of the lab doors “we need you in here”

taehyung turns to look at you and you’re like it’s okay you can go i’ll be fine

“if you need anything just page one of us” taehyung hands you his pager before quickly going into the lab  

about twenty minutes pass and suddenly you feel your phone buzz

Notification: Y00NGI APP - (6) MESSAGES

you furrow your brows because how are you getting a message from yoongi right now

turns out there was a glitch in the app and you aren’t getting these messages until now

your eyes start watering again when you read the messages

“I’m sorry. I should not have said those things to you. It was entirely inappropriate of me. I just wanted you to know that you deserve to be with someone who loves you just as much as I do.”

“I have never felt this way before. I did not even know I was capable of feeling such emotions. You make me feel overwhelmingly happy all the time. I have thoroughly enjoyed being your caretaker and more importantly, your companion.”

“I know that you feel the same way about me as I feel about you. But I also know how you feel about android-human relationships. I’m going to do something that I think will be for the best.”

“Y/N. I’m sorry. Don’t forget about me. I won’t forget about you.”

“Live a long and happy life.”

“Yours forever, Yoongi.”  

you bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from sobbing

you’re just so emotionally and physically drained right now

you hate yourself

you just want yoongi back

you sniffle and rub furiously at your eyes because you feel them welling up again

okay you need a distraction

the wifi isn’t working for some reason so you end up flipping through your camera roll

and oh

there are so many pictures of yoongi on your roll

you can’t help but laugh quietly to yourself

he sure does love his selfies

your pretty boy-bot

a yawn escapes you and you stretch your aching limbs out a little before turning to lie down on the hard bench

the boys really need to invest in like a sofa or something

soon enough you fall asleep on the bench clutching your phone to your chest

“y/n?” your eyes pop wide open when you hear namjoon open the lab doors

“how is he?? is he okay??” you scramble off the seat and run up to namjoon

“well, we managed to replace some of the wires in his neck. we replaced his eyes, too. can’t have a blind android. luckily not everything was destroyed when he overcharged himself. we didn’t have to completely reboot him but…”

“but?” namjoon’s eyes flicker down to his clipboard

“he actually developed a new emotion.”

wat

why is he telling you this right now

“that’s great joonie but i just wanna know if he’s alive or not”

“he’s fine - don’t worry, he’s fine. i just… why don’t you come in and see for yourself?” namjoon lets you in and you’re shocked to see yoongi hooked up to a bunch of different computers and machines

you immediately walk over to look at him and

he still looks the same

he’s still your yoongi

“okay, you ready?”

“mm”

namjoon hits a button on one of the machines

you jump when yoongi’s eyes open and light up and suddenly a bunch of videos appear around the room like holograms

and all of the videos are of you

like when yoongi patched up your knee and your hands and pressed a kiss to your knuckles - that was the first time he learned to give affection

or when he scolded you for coming home late and taking your bracelet off - his first time displaying emotions of frustration and worry

the two of you watching beneath the water for the tenth time in a row because you pulled out your puppy dog eyes and yoongi can’t resist them

there are just multiple videos hovering around the room and all of the videos are just of you

“i think… i think Y00NGI loves you” namjoon is genuinely shocked because he wasn’t expecting thIS as a result of him building yoongi in the first place

“but that’s- that’s not possible, right??? i mean he’s a robot and robots don’t…. they don’t love”

“not usually - obviously there are robots out there for companionship or for sex or whatever but i’ve never heard of a case where the android was capable of loving someone… i don’t know if i should label yoongi as faulty because i seriously was noT expecting this…”

you’re half listening to namjoon and half just watching all the videos that are playing around you

“of course - Y00NGI isn’t like other androids… i built him so that he learns from people and adapts to his environment…. he’s around you most of the time and… i suppose it is possible for an android to love??? he’s just so lifelike now i can’t tell if this is a failure or a success”

“he’s not a failure!!! isn’t it better for him to be more lifelike? then the companionship and the romantic aspect of it becomes more realistic”

“i don’t know y/n… i don’t know if i want mY bots like… falling in love with their clients… the purpose of the androids are to help people not fall in love with people”

“why can’t they do both??”

now that has namjoon thinking

hm

maybe you’re right

maybe he can start a line of ..,, relationship robots??

namjoon hits the button again and yoongi’s eyes immediately shut

“how come he’s not… is he in a coma or something?”

“i don’t know, y/n. i think we should give him a couple days - he probably needs to get used to the new hard drive.”

you sit down on the stool and you grip yoongi’s hand and bring it up to your mouth to plant a tiny kiss on his knuckles

yoongi might be in love with you

no

according to namjoon yoongi is definitely in love with you

and you love him

more than anything in the entire world

you scoot up a little so that you’re closer to his face and you reach over to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes

you purse your lips in frustration and boop yoongi’s nose

you miss his voice

you miss his laugh

you miss his touch

you miss those pretty brown eyes

“yoongs,” you whisper so sO quietly and lean in to press a tiny kiss to his cheek “i love you”

for now it’s just the sound of machines whirring and beeping

and then it happens

yoongi’s finger twitches ever so slightly

“yoongi??” you stand up quickly and the others rush over

you’re all hovering over yoongi when he opens his eyes and a breath of relief leaves everyone and the boys are all high-fiving and fist-bumping each other

oh thank god

thank GOD

you immediately scramble on top of yoongi so you can hug him and it’s kind of an awkward position but you’re making it work

he sits up from the table while you’re still cruSHing him in a hug

“oh my god yoongi i-i thought i lost you forever i’m so sorry i should’ve done something sooner-“

“Hello. I am M1N Y00NGI.”

you pull away immediately and look at his face in confusion

“wha… what?”

his eyes scan your face momentarily

“You are Y/N Y/L/N. I am your personal human mind model adaptive super android.”  

you turn to look at namjoon and your eyes begin welling up with tears

“joon he doesn’t- he doesn’t remember who i am? i thought you said you didn’t reboot his system” you whimper and namjoon’s frantically flipping through the papers on his clipboard

“h-hold on y/n we’ll be back we need to check what wires we used on yoongi” taehyung squeezes your arm and you nod and then they’re all leaving the lab whispering things to each other

you turn to look at yoongi again and his eyes are just…

empty

looking into his eyes is like looking into a void

he doesn’t remember you

“no… no, please, you know me, you know who i am” you sniffle and reach up to cup his cheeks

“You are Y/N Y/L/N. I am M1N Y00NGI. I am your personal human-“ 

“yeah yeah you’re my personal human mind model adaptive super android but you’re moRe than M1N Y00NGI you’re my best friend a-and you take care of me and every morning you wake me up at seven every morning and you bring me lunch everyday and we read together and we watch nature documentaries together because you hate it when i watch cartoons and- don’t you remember???” you’re frantic at this point and you’re grasping at his shirt tightly 

“I am sorry. I am afraid I do not understand.” 

“you’re more than just Y00NGI you’re mY yoongi” 

“I am sorry. I am afraid I do not understand. I am your Y00NGI?” you nod desperately as a tear rolls down your cheek

“yes, yes, you’re my yoongi, and i’m your y/n, a-and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i love you more than anything in this entire world but please pLease you have to try and remember me” you sob and yoongi remains stone still even as you’re pushing and smacking at his chest 

“You love me?” 

“i love you, i love you,” you whimper and rest your head on his shoulder in defeat

you’ve lost him

he’s gone forever and it’s all your damn fault

“Took you long enough to say it, you dolt.”

wait what

you pull away from yoongi’s shoulder and look at his face and his eyes have returned to their warm shade of caramel brown

your yoongi

this is your yoongi

“I thought it’d be funny to play a prank on you but I think I might’ve taken it a step too far.”

“yOONGI!!!!!!!!”

yoongi’s still trying to adjust himself to this new hard drive but it’s hard to do that with you kissing his face everywhere

he chuckles places his hands on your hips as you cup his face and just look at him

“you’re a dick” you sniffle and rub at your swollen eyes

yoongi smiles and wipes a tear away before pinching your cheek playfully

“I’ve been told. Hi.”

“hi” you mumble

yoongi takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and his eyes flicker down to your mouth

you’re about to ask him how he’s feeling and ambush him with questions but he holds a finger up to your lips

“Say it.”

“say what?”

“You know what.”

“you’re going to have to be more specific” you tease and yoongi gives you a look

you press your lips together and wrap your arms around yoongi’s neck

“Well?”

“well what”

“I literally almost died and you’re still going to put me through-“

yoongi’s eyes go wide and his computer-brain basically short circuits when you suddenly lean in and plant your lips on his

god your lips are soft

and yoongi’s like

so this is a human kiss

totally worth it

yoongi’s eyes flutter shut when he feels you tug at his wrist to get him to respond and then he’s kissing you back with such love and affection and tenderness that it makes both of your guys heads spin

you pull away and yoongi feels himself overheating when you nudge your nose against his

“i love you.”

yoongi doesn’t even hesitate to respond

“I love you too.”

“give the man some space y/n we just resurrected him” jungkook walks in and the other boys are behind him

you immediately blush and move to get off of yoongi but his arm slithers around your waist and he pulls you in closer

“were you people in on this sick prank????” you scowl and squish your cheek against yoongi’s as you wrap your arms around his neck

“we’re sorry!!! it was all yoongi’s idea okAY” jimin raises his hands in defence

how are you holding up, champ?” namjoon walks over and gives yoongi a pat on the back “feeling okay?”

“mm, i’m feeling good. you really tightened my wires, didn’t you?” yoongi tilts his head and cracks his neck before wincing

“yeah - they’re extra durable so you can’t fucking overcharge yourself like an idiot again” yoongi gets a smack across the head from each of the boys and you whine and swat their hands away before cradling his head and bringing him down to rest against your chest

and yoongi’s like teehee because his face in between your boobs

“leave him alone! he’s gone through an exhausting 48 hours. …but i agree, you fuckign idiot” you swat yoongi’s head and he groans out in pain before reaching up and rubbing at the back of his head

“y/n, i gotta talk to you about something c’mere for a sec” namjoon calls for you and you nod before carefully crawling off of yoongi

before you get a chance to walk over yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a teeny kiss

“omg u have plenty of time to kiss each other later go to namjoon so we can double check yoongi’s wiring” jin smacks your arm and you scowl before hopping over to joon

“what’s up?”

“okay, you have to promise not to get mad.”

“…what did you do”

namjoon presses his lips together and tucks a pen behind his ear before leaning back against the table

“about a month after you took yoongi in, i actually got a request from… a really, really wealthy girl - she… well… next month will be your seventh month with yoongi.. and technically your- our - contract terminates automatically after eight months…”

you furrow your brows in confusion

namjoon’s never brought this up before

“ikindofsortofmaybesoldyoongitothisgirl”

wow

this day just keeps getting better

“you…”

“…”

“YOU DID WHAT- OOF I’M GONNA FUCKGIN KILL YOU GET OVER HERE” the next thing namjoon sees is you lunging at him and suddenly you’re chasing him around the lab and yoongi and the boys are all like um wtf is happening

namjoon has string bean legs so obviously he’s getting away from you pretty easily but you still run as fast as you goddamn can

“y/N WAIT JUST LET ME EXPLAIN” somehow you and namjoon end up standing at opposite ends of a table with vERY SHArp tools

“YOU’VE DONE PLENTY OF EXPLAINING GET OVER HERE” when you round the table to get to namjoon he moves quickly and ends up where you were just standing

“listen liSTEN i can laBEL HIM AS FAULTY and tell her i have to make anoTHER model for her!!” you don’t even register what namjoon’s saying because you are positively fumING

if you were in a cartoon smoke would be coming out of your ears

you pick up what’s closest to you which happens to be a pair of long tweezers

“i’m going to pluck your eyES OUT NAMJOON”

“you can keEP YOONGI FOR CHRIST’S SAKES” jungkook grabs you before you can hop over the table to strangle namjoon and you’re like wait what

“you can keep yoongi” he breathes out and presses a hand over his chest “people are willing to pay miLLions of dollars for yoongi but i’m going to label him as faulty so you can keep him - for frEE.”

good god you’re terrifying when you’re angry  

“oh”

“uh-huh”

“then why even bring it up in the first place?”

“you… yoongi’s going to be your permanent responsibility and i need to know that you can handle it. he is my first creation after all. yoongi’s my baby! even though he’s technically older than me. you know… i… you won’t have to bring him in for check ups every two weeks anymore but i need to know that you’ll be able to handle any given situation” namjoon scratches the back of his neck

your heart warms a little because namjoOn cares thAT much about yoongi

“like what if he has a loose wire somewhere and-“

“joon, i promise you i will take care of yoongi” you hold a hand to your chest and you’re about to reassure him even more but yoongi butts in

“Um, is everyone forgetting that I’m like, a genius android? I could perform brain surgery if I really wanted to. I’m sure I’ll be able to take care of a loose wire.”

“…fair enough” namjoon’s like :’) i’m so proud of my android baby :’) but here y/n take this basic manuscript on how to rewire wires :’)

“i can’t believe you made me cry like that” after namjoon and the others triple-check that yoongi’s good to go they give you the green light to head home

“I’m sorry, baby. It won’t happen again. I love you.” yoongi squeezes your hand and your heart flutters in your chest

you swing your arms back and forth before stopping and standing in front of yoongi and yanking him down to kiss you

“i love me too” yoongi scowls and digs his fingers into your side making you giggle “i love u too”

“should we get pizza to celebrate?”  

“…In your dreams.”

>:-(

the two of you head over to the car and once you’re buckled in you turn to face yoongi with your hands on the steering wheel

“so where are we heading now?”

“…Home.”

home :)

you don’t like to admit it but sometimes you like to take advantage of the fact that yoongi is an android

especially when he’s in the middle of his charging time

“we shouldn’t have had a harry potter marathon because it drained all the battery out of me” yoongi winces as you plug his cord into his neck a little too roughly

you apologize and give him a lil kiss before moving to sit on the bed

the two of you decided it’d be a good idea to move yoongi’s fridge (“Stop calling it a fridge, Y/N. It’s my charging pod.” “...issa fridge”) into the bedroom now that you two are,,, together

“...i’m going to go eat some lucky charms now”

“Okay, but- wait, what? Lucky charms? I threw them out last week. Nice try, hiding the box under the bed.”

“uh-huh, under the bed.” you smirk and stand up before heading over to the bedside drawer

“I don’t like that look on your face. What are you up to?” yoongi furrows his brows when he sees you pull out a tampon box out of the drawers “Are you ovulating? My calendar tells me that you’re not supposed to-“ he immediately stops talking when you open up the box to reveal noT tampons but just straight up lucky charms

and it’s not even lucky charms it’s just lucky charm MARSHMALLOWS

“Oh my god.”

“oh my god indeed” you grin and shovel a handful of marshmallows into your mouth and yoongi winces when he senses your blood sugar shOOt up

“Y/N, no.” he gives you a stern look and you shrug innocently before popping another marshmallow into your mouth and crunching down on it

“y/n, yes. i’m going to eat ALL OF THESE RIGHT NOW” you zip out of the room and yoongi groans loudly and reaches up to pull the plug out of his neck  

but he’s stuck there because the cord won’t unplug until he’s up to at least 30% charged

he really needs to do a more thorough check of the bedroom next time

of course karma’s a bitch so you end up drinking the blandest chicken soup for dinner that night to ‘flush out the toxins and chemicals’

sometimes you have … depressing thoughts

like you know that it’s impossible for you and yoongi to grow old together and that you’re going to turn into a sack of wrinkly prunes one day and he’s still going to look like he’s 25

somewhere down the line you’ll have to end things with yoongi and find an actual human being because you want to have a family and yoongi’s fake semen isn’t going to get you anywhere

or maybe you can ask namjoon to make robot-human babies if that’s even possible

that sounds terrifying actually

but you know what

you’re just living your best life right now

you’re young and you don’t have a care in the world

the world of android-human relationships is a completely normal concept in this century

you’re having fun with your android-boyfriend!!! enjoy the present :-))))

speaking of your android-boyfriend

dating yoongi includes ((but is not limited to!!)) lazy make-out sessions because that’s just who he is

like you’ll be watching some documentary and you’ll be cuddled up to yoongi’s chest

these nature documentaries have become your favourite thing to watch but whenever yoongi’s busy with something you sneak away to watch your cartoons because you could never give up adventure time

anyways

yoongi gets pretty bored quickly with these documentaries mainly because everything the narrator’s saying,,, he already knows

you have your head on his chest and he likes to hook a finger under your chin and bring your face up to his before pressing his lips against yours

and usually you entertain him for a second and kiss him back but your eyes are still glued on the screen while you’re kissing him

and thaT’s when he gets pouty

“Baby, pay attention to me.” yoongi sighs and taps your cheek gently and you turn to glance at him quickly

“i paid attention to you already” you give him a chaste kiss and he leans in to chase after your mouth but you’re already pulling away and settling back against his chest

“I’m bored.”

“yoU chose this documentary”

“I know, but I’m bored. And there are better ways to pass the time, you know.”

“like wha-yOongi!” the next thing you know yoongi’s pulling you onto his lap and you have your legs on either side of him and he already has his face in between your boobs “well this isn’t convenient for me because now i have to twist my back to look at the screen”

yoongi rolls his eyes and pauses the documentary before tossing the remote to the opposite end of the couch

“and you say i’m the one with the out of control hormones” yoongi hums and you squeak when you feel him grope your butt

what a gentleman

yoongi tells you make-out sessions are actually good for him because it allows him to learn more and stuff but ur like what kind of skills do u gain from making out with someone

it’s just because he’s a horn-dog

“my salmon’s going to burn in the oven, yoongi” you giggle against his lips and yoongi literally whines when you pull away which is sO adorable

“The salmon won’t burn. According to my timer, it’ll be cooked perfectly in 10 minutes.”

“oOH yeah baby keep talking technology to me mMm”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes but pulls you back in for another kiss

sometimes you forget yoongi is a super-intelligent robot and can pick up things like really reALLy quickly

“yoongi, oh goD yoongi” yoongi’s hands slide down to grip your ass as he continues helping you to push your hips down against his thigh

“Is that good, baby? Gonna cum all over my thigh? Greedy little thing…” hearing his low, raspy voice murmur that right into your ear would be enough to make you cum but also

where the HELL did he learn to talk like this  

“where’d you- yoongi, ah - where the hell’d you learn how to talk like that?”

yoongi pauses and pulls away before looking at you and blinking

“I downloaded an archive off of Pornhub.com so that I would be fully equipped with the skills required for you to have an orgasm. Is it not working?”

“no, it’s working, i just wasn’t expecting it” you’re still kind of breathless because you were literally riding his thigh for the last two minutes

and now you’re just perched on his lap casually having a conversation

“Oh. But you like it, right?”

“ya”

“Then why’d you stop me, dummy?” yoongi shifts under you and your eyes widen when you feel him press himself right against your core “Now be quiet and let me make you cum on my thigh.”

ah

your sweet yoongi

ever the romantic

also

um

tongue technology

“Jagi - if you keep squirming like that, I’m gonna have to hold you down harder and I might cause bruising which isn’t ideal.”

“i can’t help it” you whine and your hips automatically raise up from the bed

yoongi rolls his eyes and digs his fingers into your plush hips before forcing you down and woW you underestimated his strength because u literally can’t even move

“Well, help it.” he shrugs and proceeds to bury his face in between your legs again

he groans against you when you cry out in pleasure

something that you’ve learned about yoongi is the fact that he loves to tease

like seriously he teases so much it’s kind of concerning

“You have to tell me what you want, baby.”

“but i-“ you pout and whine underneath yoongi because he’s not giving you what you wANT

“Nuh-uh, don’t start whining now.”

and what he says next has your insides melting

“Tell daddy what you want.”

“daddy, please…i…”

“Hm? Couldn’t hear you, doll.” yoongi sighs and leans down to press a kiss against your inner thigh before blowing gently on your core and you instantly twitch

“i said i…”

“you?”

“ᶦ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᵒⁿᵍᵘᵉ”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” yoongi has to admit he himself is getting a little impatient so he bends down and proceeds to eat you out as if he were starving

one of your hands slithers down to his hair while the other reaches back to grip at the headboards

god bLESS taehyung and his talent for designing yoongi    

the first time u and yoongi have sex

noW you see the hype with sex bots (even tho yoongi technically isn’t a sex bot but daMn he’d be a hit if he was marketed as one)

of course it starts off sweet and romantic because it is your first time with him after all

yoongi showers you with sweet n soft kisses and is so sO gentle with you

he’s positioned in between your legs snugly and has his fingers intertwined with yours with one hand while the other is propping him up a little

his forehead is pressed against yours and all of your senses are just flooded with yoongi yoongi yoongi

“yOongi, ah-“ you whimper and arch your back when he thrusts and hits that spot

“Mm, there?” yoongi’s nipping at your collarbone before he trails kisses up your neck and along your jaw and you nod desperately

“there, right thEre” a gasp slips past your lips and yoongi can’t help but smirk to himself proudly when he hits it again

“Does that feel good?” his voice is all low and raspy and good goD you could die right then and there

“yEaH yeah that f-feels good, feels really good, yoOngi- oh, god, i love y-yoU” your sharp nails bite into his back and yoongi bites down on your shoulder as payback  

yoongi thanks the android gods above because he’s able to capture the image of you having an orgasm and he can play it over and over and over again

your sweet little cries and moans and pants of pleasure

all for him

“Nngh- you okay?” yoongi shudders when you squeeze around him from the overstimulation

you nod bashfully and look away and yoongi think it’s sO adorable how shy you get post-sex

“Don’t get shy on me now, jagi.” yoongi coos and presses his lips against yours

you kiss back obediently but then you’re pushing at his chest gently “i wanna make you feel good too”

“It’s okay baby, you really don’t have to -“ it’s too late because you’re already pushing yoongi onto his back and crawling on top of him

“but i want to”

“…Only because you said so.” yoongi sits up eagerly and you can’t help but giggle at how quickly he changed his mind

so remember how sweet and romantic u guys were like twenty minutes ago

yeah

yEET

“Oh, fuck- you’re doing so good, baby, so good for me,” yoongi groans and his grip tightens on your hips and you cry out when he bucks up into you

“Yeah? Gonna cum again? Cum all over daddy’s cock?” yoongi has a hand in between your legs and is rubbing quick circles on your already sensitive clit

you nod quickly and furrow your brows before arching your back against him

“w-want you to cum i-inside” you breathe out and yoongi growls when you squeeze around him

oh god

yep

yoongi’s gonna exploDE

yoongi delivers a slap to your backside making you arch your back and cry out

“Beg for it, pretty girl.”

you get all bashful again and nuzzle into the crook of his neck and yoongi barely hears your little ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᶜᵘᵐ ᶦⁿˢᶦᵈᵉ ᶦ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᶦᵗ  

“You weren’t this shy a second ago, baby…” you let out a pathetic whine in response and yoongi figures he’ll let you get away with it just oncE

he grips a handful of your ass and hooks a finger under your chin then pulls you closer so he can kiss you  

you kiss him back enthusiastically and your thighs are on fiRE but u know dis shit is gon be worth it so you power through

it’s a pretty messy and uncoordinated kiss and yoongi’s tongue is fully in your mouth

y’all are FREAKS

“Y/N, fuck, fuck, it’s happening, h-happening…” yoongi’s fingers dig into the flesh of your hip and he tosses his head back

the next thing you know both you and yoongi are seeing stars

yoongi feELs like he’s short circuiting that’S how good this orgasm is

“huh”

“what’s wrong” you wheel over to namjoon and the two of you look at an unconscious yoongi

namjoon has his neck flap opened so you can see all the wires running through yoongi

“this wire’s been burnt to a crisp”

“how?” you look at in in concern and ya namjoon’s right one single wire is split and completely fried

“it’s weird because this wire is the wire connected to, uh,, u know…”

“to the what”

“you and yoongi have.. sex, right?”

you blush instantly and clear your throat before pretending that you got a notification on your phone

“imeanlikeyeahiguessso”

“oH don’t worry there’s nothing wrong with that that’s totally fine” joon reassures you before picking up a pair of tweezers “this particular wire being all burnt up and crispy makes more sense now”

“what do u mean” you raise an eyebrow and pick up your bottle of water

“hand me the scissors” namjoon pauses and holds his hand out and you grab the scissors for him “…you made him nut so hard he busted a wire” he shrugs casually and you choke on your water

omg LOL

“i’m sorry whAt”

namjoon’s brows furrow as he ties the two loose ends together hoPefully that will fix it til the wires come “jimin - can you bring three single-strand wires? i have to replace yoongi’s triplex wire-“ he turns and raises an accusing brow at you and you huff “yeah, that one. the blue one. this should do the trick for now… i think”  

“here ya go”

“thank you- anyways yoongi wasn’t made to be a sex bot-“

“he’s noT A sex bot u know what sometimes he’S the one with the out of control hormones i like to think that he wants it more than i do-“

“so i guess i better pick up some more durable wires seeing that your guys’ relationship probably isn’t ending anytime soon” namjoon clicks yoongi’s neck flap shut and you have no idea how this silicone shit works but now it looks like a normal neck again “the wires will probably take two weeks to get here so,,, i’m sorry u sex fiend but no sex with yoongi for two weeks otherwise he might actually burst into flames”

taehyung comes over wearing a monocle looking thing and proceeds to do his part to yoongi which is just the ~outer appearance~

he doesn’t have to do much considering yoongi is pretty much perfect

“i’m on joon’s side - as much as i love and support this relationship i’m gonna need you to slow down a little” taehyung pauses to tweeze one of yoongi’s eyebrow hairs “because i’ve gone to the sex shop to buy fake semen so many times they asked me if i wanted an industrial sized juG of it”

yoongi’s learned to be very affectionate because of you but he has his limits

“Y/N, it’s time to wake up…” yoongi’s stroking some hair out of your face before he pokes your cheek gently

you grumble something under your breath and swat at his hand

“C’mon, jagi. You’re going to be late for work.” he sighs and reaches down to pull your (his) shirt down because it always rides up

you groan and flip over on your stomach

“Baby…” yoongi sighs and leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder

another grunt

okay that’s it

yoongi sighs and gets off the bed before grabbing the blanket and literally riPPINg it out from under you causing you to roll off and flop right onto the floor

“oW WHY DID U-“ you sit up and rub your forehead before glaring at your dumb boyfriend

“It is 7AM. You have work in an hour.”