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Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
â genre: android!au becauSe for some reason android aus are popping up everywhere, the usual heaping serving of fluff and comedy, N S F W like reALLY nsfw i poPPED OFF this time i donât know even know what happened,,, forgive me god for i have sinned, a n g s t, i definitely teared up a little writing this because i was listening to kim bum sooâs i miss you and it made me 100x more emo
â trigger warnings: this does get a little intense! beware!!Â
â wordcount: 24k like that bruno mars song
â note:Â um,,,,, this is literally 24k+ words i donât even know what to say,,, how did i write so much without realising???? but ya a lot of android aus have been popping up on my dashboard and iâm seeing a lot of android!jungkook but i feLt like android!yoongi was more fitting?? aLso thank u so much for the love n support for ceo!yoongi i 100% was not expecting it to get as many likes and reblogs as it did so you guys are truly the best!!!!!!!! anyways i had a loT of fun writing this and i hope u guys like android!yoongi as much as i do :-)))Â
pst if u wanna talk to android yoongs u know what to do ;-)Â
(gif isnât mine!) ((i had such a hard time choosing a gif because he looks so boyfriend-y in all of them but i ended up going with this one because at one point in the fic he feeds u with chopsticks))Â
(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesnât work on mobile ://Â i am sorry donât attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))
âoh, absolutely fucking not.â
ây/n, please.â
âno.â
âpLEASEâ
ânamjoon, no!!!!â you slam your fork down on the table and clear your throat when you get a couple glances from other customers near you
âcâmon, why not???â
âi have a life!! iâm not going to babysit a robot-â
âitâs a humanoid android. actually the professional term for it is a human mind model adaptive super android.â
âright, iâm not going to babysit a roBOT for you because you wanna see if you can make a profit selling weird robot slaves.â
âtheyâre not weird! and iâve been working on them for a long time - since the beginning of freshmen year! we finally have a prototype and i thought youâd be the perfect human for Y00NGI.â
âdonât give it a name, youâre humanising it. and what kind of a name is Y00NGI, anyways??â
âitâs supposed to be a take on you and i. get it??â
âthatâs terrible and i hate that with my entire soul. i just donât get why i have to take care of it. canât you get jin to take care of it? heâs like 100x more responsible than i am.â
ây/n, the purpose of this robot is to be like⊠a helper. jin doesnât need any help with anything. you on the other handâŠ.. i know you hate it when i say this but youâve kind ofâŠ. youâve been a mess since your breakup with kihyun and i just thought itâd be good for you to have Y00NGI around to help out!! someone to pick up your takeaway boxes and someone to wake you up so you get to work on damn time for once and aLso someone to force you out of the house because of how socially awkward you-â
âiâm not socially awk- why didnât you name it Y00NI instead? thatâs more like you and i than Y00NGI.â
youâre like hiGHKEY offended that namjoon thinks youâre unable to take care of yourself and that youâre socially awkward like you can make a REALLY good grilled cheese sandwich and youâre like okay-ish at interacting with other people your age
sure one time you accidentally threw in a red sock into the whites and all your sheets turned pink but that doesnât mean you canât freaking take care of yourself
and pink sheets are totally trendy right now
okay about kihyun
first things first youâve been a single lady for a couple months now
yes you admit that you kind of turned into a liTTle bit of a hot mess after kihyun broke up with you
to be fair he was the one who always cooked and cleaned and made you interact with his friends
but you always tried your best to make meals for him and you always had a smile on your face whenever the two of you hung out with hIS friends - he ended the relationship because he felt like you were holding him back
you donât like to get into it
but youâre better now!!!!!!
you sort of know the basics of the washing machine and you can also make pretty good spaghetti so sUCK on that kihyun
plus you just liked staying home rather than going out to party but that didnât make u socially awkward
âlook, it was a creative decision on my part, alright? i donât see what the big deal is.â
âyou know how i feel about technology, joon. i got freaked out when you asked your alexa thing to tell you a joke and she not only told you a horrible joke but also had a very demon-y laugh.â Â
âyou know... jungkook thinks Y00NGI is pretty cool.â
you perk up at the mere mention of jungkook
long story short you have the FATTEST crush on jungkook and you would honestly probably kill someone for him
after your nasty breakup with kihyun he always found ways to cheer you up
you work at the library at bangtan laboratories and jungkook always brought you lunch and snacks and came up to tell you stories and keep you company
so it wasnât a huge surprise when one day you felt your heart flutter when he smiled at you in his adorable bunny way
namjoonâs the only one who knows considering heâs ur best friend but now heâs just using it against you
âso jungkook should take care of it.â
âhe lives with jimin - he doesnât need a helper. iâm sure heâd visit your place a LOT if you took Y00NGI in.â namjoon smirks to himself and takes a sip of his coffee when he notices your change in expression
okay well
taking care of an android-humanoid-thing wouldnât be too bad
itâs only for a couple of months so that namjoon can see if his creation actually works
you wonât have to cook for yourself or clean for yourself
and jungkook might pop over more often as namjoon said
hm
âwell- fine. only because iâm⊠a good person and a good friend. thatâs the only reason why iâm helping you out.â
namjoonâs like loL okay ya sure
the rest of lunch goes by and namjoonâs just excited that heâll finally be able to see if his android will actually work
a week goes by and you get daily texts from namjoon telling you Y00NGI is almost ready for you and you hATE that because it sounds like heâs sending Y00NGI to assassinate you
like literally one of the texts you got was just
âsoon.â
and you wanted to murder namjoon because it freaked you out so much
itâs sunday morning and youâre enjoying a nice bowl of cinnamon toast crunch while watching cartoons when you hear your doorbell
you wipe the sprinkles of sugar off your mouth as you rush to the door and
holy shit
âiâve got a package here for miss y/l/n?â
youâre tempted to tell the mailman that miss y/l/n lives somewhere else because jeSUS this is a HUGE box
âthatâs, uh, thatâs me i guessâ
he hands you a clipboard and you sign off on it and he wheels the damn thing into the middle of your living room and then is just like peace out
so now youâre standing in the middle of your living room with this big ass cardboard box
the first thing you do is call namjoon
âhello?â his voice is groggy which indicates he was still asleep
âwhy didnât you tell me this box was so big!! how big is this thing!!!â
âheâs not a thing, donât be rude. heâs a little taller than you and a little shorter than me. the box is big because i put like a bunch of packaging peanuts and styrofoam in so he wouldnât be damaged when he arrived!!! heâs not cheap you know!!!!!!!â
âi thought he was made out of like metalâ
âheâs not a tin man, y/n. his outer layer is made out of this synthetic silicon so he feels exacTLY like a human and i wanted to get him to you without a single scratchâ
that is⊠sO FREAKY R U KIDDING ME
you donât really want to open this package
what if it tries to kill you
âanyways youâll have to charge him up for a little while because i didnât recharge him before i packaged him up.â
âdo i plug him in like a phone??? where do i even- omg do i plug the thing up his butt or somethi-â
âheâs in a charging pod right now. thatâs another reason why the package is so big. you just have to plug the pod into the wall itâs not that hard.â
ânamjoon i canât moVE this thing alone-â
âomg youâre so whiney okay fine iâm coming overâ namjoon hangs up on you and ur like the auDAcity of this man
while you wait for namjoon you get a box cutter and slice the sides of the box open
the sides of the box plop down onto the ground and your whole floor is littered in package peanuts and you see-
well it kinda looks like a fridge
but like a ~futuristic~ fridge
and on the front of the door you see Y 0 0 N G I
you see a little symbol blinking underneath his name
itâs an empty battery symbol and itâs bright red telling u that heâs out of juice
phEW
that means he wonât be able to murder you anytime soon
you kind of want to open the door and see what this Y00NGI thing looks like but youâre scared
god why did you agree to do this
so now instead of watching cartoons youâre shovelling cereal into your mouth and keeping an eye on the charging booth to make sure nothing suspicious happens
about 15 minutes go by and youâre so relieved when namjoon walks in and the other boys are trailing behind him and heâs like ur lucky i love u i would rather be asleep
and youâre like yOUâre lucky i love yOU otherwise i would never have agreed to this
namjoon: iâm also lucky you love jung-
you: âŠ.juST help me move this stupid thing hHAAHhaa
you greet the other boys good morning
and youâre especially sweet to jungkook
heâs like :) hi y/n!!! i hope u slept well
heâs so cuTE you want to RIP OUT YOUR HEART and give it to him
ahem
namjoon wants to leave Y00NGI in your living room but thereâs no way in hell youâre going to leave it here
what if you wanna get water in the middle of the night but then you have this pill-shaped fridge just blocking your path
âmove it into the spare bedroom - if it freaks me out iâll just lock it in.â
âitâs a HE y/n respect him!!!!â taehyung smacks your arm and nudges you aside so that he can help namjoon move the pod âjin-hyung and i spent a long time designing his face and his body so you better not do anything to fuck it upâ
you kinda feel bad that youâre not helping the boys move the pod because it looks pretty heavy and all their faces are going red
but they think youâre a klutz and youâll drop it on the way to the bedroom and chip something so they were all like nO you canât help us please just sit down and donât move
it takes the six of them ten minutes to move it into the guest bedroom down the hall and youâre sweating on their behalf and youâre like wOO that was tough good job guys while youâre just lounging on the couch and theyâre all glaring at you lmao
âi plugged the pod into the wall for you - iâll pay your electricity bills, so donât worry about that. he takes up a lot of power.â namjoon mentions and gives you a sheepish smile when youâre like excuse mE whaT
âhow long does he take to charge?â
âdepends on how much battery he has. heâll be ready by tonight since heâs completely outta batteryâ namjoon shrugs and plops down next to you
âi programmed him especially for you he knows like everYthing there is to know about youâ
ââŠhow much does he knowâ
âwhich hospital you were born at what your favourite food is what time you wake up what time you go to sleep what your favourite shampoo is what your motherâs maiden name is what your-â
âokAY i get itâ
itâs safe to say that you are very much freaked out
as much as you like jungkook youâre not sure if this is even worth it anymore
this hunk of metal charging up in your room knows you better than you know yourself
itâs just eery because itâŠ. well itâs a robot
you could peel its face back and youâd just see a freaky metal skeleton
you shudder to yourself but youâre like u know what we already went over the benefits of having this helper robot here so itâll be fine
âyou have to bring him to the lab every two weeks so i can check on his diagnostics and see if anything needs tweakingâ
ââŠdo i need to carry him and his pod thereâ
ânah the two of you can just walk overâ
itâs still weird that theyâre referring to the robot as if it was an actual human being rather than a machine but whatever youâll get used to it
the lab is like a ten minute walk away from your place so itâs fine
you live in this pretty nice neighbourhood anD your apartment is pretty big anD youâre close to the lab so you can see why namjoon chose your place
âalso youâll have to wear this 24/7.â jungkook appears out of nowhere and takes your hand and youâre like omG his hands are so soft but then heâs clipping this bracelet around your wrist and youâre like wat
it looks like itâs made out of glass and you can see all the different coloured wires inside
and thereâs a little Y00NGI etched on it
your eyes widen in surprise when the Y00NGI suddenly lights up and the bracelet gives you a little zap
âah, there we goâ
âow! what the-â you try to shake it off but you canât
itâs like
attached to you somehow
itâs snug around your wrist
not snug enough to be considered uncomfortable but snug enough to make you aware of its presence
âitâs so Y00NGI can keep track of where you are and also if youâre ever sick heâll be able to know your temperature and nurse you back to healthâ
âcan i not take this thing off??â
âwell⊠you can,,, with this keyâ he holds up a key and puts it back into his pocket âbuT you lose things really easily and this bracelet is very very very expensive so nO you are not allowed to take this thing offâ
âbut-â
âitâs waterproof and sweatproof and everything in between so youâll be fine!!â jungkook flashes you a sweet smile and youâre like okAy iâll keep it on because u said so
âokay let me tell you a little bit about Y00NGI before we head offâ
âarenât you going to stay here until he wakes up??â
âthatâll take too long and weâre working on some more prototypes at the labâ
namjoon and the boys plop down on your couch and you sit opposite to them on your sofa chair
âas i mentioned before, Y00NGI is a human mind model adaptive super androidâ
âi know what each of those words mean but i donât know what they mean when you put them all together like thatâ
âbasically heâs programmed to learn things and grow smarter - so i donât want you being a bad influence on- well, actually, he has more common sense than you do so i guess i donât have to worry about thatâ
gasp
namjoon is so lucky you adore him otherwise he wouldnât be getting away with all these snarky dIGS
âhe knows the basic emotions like happy and sad and angry or whatever but the more time he spends with you the more emotions heâll pick up-â
âi just hope he doesnât become as dramatic as youâ
âoh says yoUâ you scowl at jin but now youâre wondering how the heck a robot can even feEL things in the first place
âso if i pinched him would he feel it?â
âof course heâd feel itâ
âso he hurts too?â
ââŠ.why does this sound mildly threateningâ
ânO iâm just curious iâm not going to hurt your robot friendâ
namjoon wants to scream Y00NGI IS NOT JUST A ROBOT HEâS A HUMAN MIND MODEL-
âlooK weâve been working on Y00NGI for a long time and even though heâs built to withstand pretty much anything i still want you to be careful with himâ
obviously youâll be careful with him youâre not a monster
âyou donât have to feed him. of course heâs designed to ingest human food but like,, it wonât do anything for him lol he also doesnât need to use the washroom either!!â while namjoonâs talking to you he unlocks your phone and plugs it into his laptop
âhey!!!!! what do you think youâre doingâ you reach forward and namjoon smacks your hand away
âiâm installing Y00NGIâs app on your phone. iâm sorry itâs not available on the app store for you to downloadâ he snorts and his fingers fly over the keyboard before he hits enter and you see a brand new app pop up on your home screen
âwhatâs the purpose of this app? it better not be like that app you downloaded on my phone last time that gave you full access to my texts-â
âi already told you i only did it because you were mad at me and i diDNâT know why and you werenât talking to me so i really didnât have a choice loOK the point is this isnât another hacking app youâre fineâ
âokay so tell me what it doesâ
âit monitors Y00NGIâs battery levels, Y00NGI can even send you a message on here if he wants!! also if thereâs like a loose wire somewhere the app will show you where it is on his body and where youâre supposed to plug it back inâ
namjoon spends a little more time telling you about Y00NGI and youâre still kind of freaked out but at the end of the day youâre proud of joon and the boys for inventing this human computer⊠android adaptor charger⊠robot.. man (is that what itâs called?? u already forgot)
âwell weâll be on our way now!! text me when Y00NGI wakes upâ namjoon gives you a quick hug and the other boys are saying goodbye before you know it
you spend the rest of the day tidying up a little and doing some chores
for some reason you feel like you need to impress this hunk of metal thatâs going to be living with you for the next eight months
youâre intimidated to go into his room and check if heâs fully charged so you can finally turn him on
so you promise yourself youâll turn him on after dinner (which is pizza!!!!!!!)
youâre nibbling on your fourth slice of pizza and you pop the rest of the crust into your mouth and c r o n c h  thoughtfully
and then your phone buzzes next to you
Notification: Y00NGI APP - BATTERY FULLY CHARGED.
ok
ok cool
no need to be nervous
after all yoU are the one in control here
you are de captain of this ship
yoongiâs YOUR helper
you dust your hands off and stand up and head towards yoongiâs room
the door opens with a creak and you quickly turn the lights on
you end up staring at the yoongi refrigerator for like one whole minute but you shake your nerves off
itâs now or neVer
you donât know why but you glance over your shoulder for some reason before you open up the pod door and
holy moly
taehyung and jin really put a lot of effort into designing Y00NGIâs face because he is literally the prettiest boy you think youâve ever seen and youâre friends with jin and jimin and jungkook etc
a phrase to describe this face: boyfriend material
youâre kind of squatting down because his head is bent over since heâs standing upright and then your thighs start to burn from standing like this just staring up at Y00NGI so you cup his face and hold it up
youâre close enough to see each individual pore on his face
he has soft black tousled hair and it kind of shines in the light of the guest bedroom
his lashes cast a shadow over his cheeks
his lips are so cute
he even has a couple ear piercings
namjoon was right he does feel exactly like a human
youâre kind of having fun just squishing his face and washing his lips purse and unpurse because ??? heâs very VERY lifelike itâs almost concerning
they really went all out when they were designing Y00NGI
you can already tell that these BTS2500 androids are going to be popular when namjoon releases them if theyâre as pretty as Y00NGI
âalright yoongi letâs see how to turn you on⊠oh yEsâ you remember namjoon showing you where Y00NGIâs power button is
you wrap a hand around the back of his neck and blindly feel around for the button that should be on the nape of his-
you jump when Y00NGI powers up immediately as you hit the button
you take a step back and you see that heâs definitely awake but it looks like heâs still warming up a little because you can see his pupils dilating and constricting rapidly
and then he blinks once and his eyes settle on you
âHello. I am Y00NGI. M1N Y00NGI.â
his eyes scan over your entire figure
âYou are Y/N Y/L/N.â
ââŠya thatâs meâ youâre still kind of shook because you donât⊠really know what to DO âdo you⊠do you wanna stay in your pod or should iâŠâ
how do you even talk to a robot???
you gesture to the wire thatâs plugged into the nape of his neck underneath his power button which youâre assuming is his charging cord
âyou got enough juice in you?? my app tells me youâre at 99.9% but i can let you chill here until it-â
âI would like to inspect my surroundings.â you nod and reach forward and gently yank the cord out and youâre like :00000 when you see a flap of skin suddenly cover up the charging port and now it looks like a normal neck
yoongi steps out and then his pupils suddenly light up and thereâs like a hologram of a blueprint that beams out of his eyes
âScan complete. Location secure.â and then heâs walking out of the room and youâre not sure if you should turn the pod off to save battery or
âwaiT yoongi where are you goi-â you canât even finish your question because heâs already going down your hallway to the living room
heâs standing there just staring at the TV so you move past him to sit on the couch
you donât know where to go from here so you decide to continue eating your dinner
âPizza is unhealthy.â
âbut itâs good.â
youâre about to offer him a slice when he speaks up again
âOne pepperoni pizza is approximately 2269 calories. Total fat: 83 grams. Total saturated fat: 38 grams. Cholesterol: 145 mg. Sodium: 5100.9 mg. Sugars: 31g.â yoongi starts naming off all the nutritional value facts of pizza while staring right at you and youâre like omg sTOP I GET IT
âAre you still hungry?â
ânot really i mean i already had four slices soâ
âGood.â
yoongi bends down and picks up the pizza box and proceeds to throw it into the bin
he looks over his shoulder at tilts his head slightly
âI am sensing that you are upset. Why are you upset?â
âyou threw away my dinner!!!!!!â
even though youâre pretty full like you had four slices so youâre fine but stILL you liked eating cold leftover pizza for breakfast the next day
âOh.â he looks down at the bin. âI suppose that is something you will have to deal with, then.â
and youâre like
excUSE ME
why is this android so,,,, sassy
namjoon did mention that jin was the one who programmed his personality so
like father like son
âYou must sleep soon. The time now is 10:41PM.â he pauses and his eyes do that weird glitchy thing again âMy database tells me that you have a very unhealthy sleeping schedule.â
UM
youâre getting roasted by a damn hunk of metal and you donât even have a witty comeback
âiâm an adult, yoongi. iâll go to bed whenever i want.â you snort and snuggle back into the couch and you hit play on the- âoH MY GOD PUT ME DOWNâ suddenly everythingâs spinning and you realise yoongi just threw you over his shoulder and is marching you down the hallway
youâre still flailing over his shoulder as he enters the washroom and picks up your toothbrush and squeezes some toothpaste on it for you
finally he lets you down but before you can say anything he shoves the toothbrush into your mouth and turns you over so that youâre facing the mirror
âi wuz goinf to eat some icfe cream after the pizza, you knowâ
âWhat kind of ice cream?â
youâre pleasantly surprised that he seems curious about your ice cream
âstrawberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream itâs my fAvourite and-â
âOne cup of strawberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream contains approximately-â you roll your eyes and drown him out by turning on the tap as you brush your teeth and rinse your mouth out
once youâre done he follows you to your bedroom and then he nudges you in and immediately shuts the door without saying a word
âoh so youâre nOT going to tuck me in????â you feel obligated to ask him that considering heâs been treating you like a child
yoongi opens the door and pokes his head in a little as youâre about to get into bed
âYou are an adult. Tuck yourself in.â and then he shuts the lights off and slams the door again and oOH you are so tempted to just hit that power-off button on the back of his neck so you wonât have to deal with him anymore
damn
how did namjoon rope you into doing this
8 damn months
âTime to wake up.â
youâre still half asleep even when yoongi pulls the blanket off of you causing you to whine and kick and blindly reach for your blanket
âYou have to be at the lab in one hour.â
âwhat time is it??â
âIt is 7:00AM.â
you rub the sleep out of your eyes and wince at the early morning sunlight
yoongi already opened up your curtains and you hATE being woken up by blinding sunlight
âi only need like half an hour to get ready let me sleep for another fifteen minutesâ you drop your head back onto your pillow and shut your eyes again and- âoH jESUS is this going to become a regular thing because i am noT a fan of thisâ yoongi has you over his shoulder again and when he plops you down youâre staring at your crusty morning face in the bathroom mirror
âYou donât have ingredients in your fridge required for a nutritional breakfast. However, I made a cup of coffee for you. Please come to the kitchen in 20 minutes.â yoongi shuts the washroom door and you see that heâs hung your work uniform up behind it
dang
usually youâre reaching into your hamper and digging through it for your wrinkly blouse and trousers but
youâve never seen your uniform look so neat and crisp before
and that coffee stain on the sleeve is gone
âalright, robot. you win this time.â you mumble to yourself and then youâre washing up and getting ready for the day
âIt is now 7:35. According to my maps, we are ten minutes away from Bangtan Laboratories. I suggest you leave within the next five minutes to avoid tardiness.â
âiâm usually five or ten minutes late and no sane person would want to come check out books at eight in the morning so iâm not in a rushâ you plop down on the couch and turn on your cartoons and then you take a sip of the coffee that- âoH good god what the hell is this????â you look down at the sludge in your cup and wince before setting it down on the coffee table
so you definitely need to teach yoongi how to make a cup of coffee if heâs going to be making your coffee for the next 8 months
âIs something the matter?â
âhow did you make my coffee??â
âI ground up coffee beans and mixed some water into it. According to my database, coffee is essentially a mixture of C. arabica and water.â
âC. arabi- what is C. ara- okay you know what iâll teach you how to make coffee when i get back from work todayâ hopefully you can get jimin to give you a cup of coffee free of charge
youâre trying to enjoy your morning cartoons but itâs hard when yoongiâs kind of just standing there staring at you blankly
ââŠwanna watch some cartoons with me?â you scoot over a little and pat the seat next to you
âIt is now 7:38. I recommend that you leave in two minutes to avoid-.â
âthis episode is nearly done just come and sitâ yoongi blinks twice but then he nods and comes and sits next to you
âDo not slouch. It is bad for your posture.â
you let out a sigh and roll your eyes and stand up
âyou knoW what youâre right i should leave now thanks for the coffee yoongsâ you offer him a smile while youâre lacing your shoes up âuh, i guess you can watch TV all day if you want?? there are a couple books in your room that you can read as well. namjoon picked them out for you so expect some classic literature and poetry and all that jazzâ
âMy name is Y00NGI. Not âYoongsâ.â yoongi blinks at you and you groan internally heâs just so ???????? heâs the complete opposite of you heâs so stiff and orderly and boring but of course you suck it up because youâre doing this for the boys and maybe you can ask jin to tweak his personality a little bit heeehee
âbyE yOOnGSâ you slam the door behind you before he can respond and you start your walk to work
yoongi stares at the door after you leave and then the corner of his lips twitch up in a small smile
heâs trying to replicate your bright smile but the most he can muster is a teeny little smile
âYoongs.â he mutters to himself and then he returns his attention to the TV
when you come home that night you are surprised to see that your dinky apartment is,,, spotless
and now that itâs clean it makes it seem like your place is a loT bigger
and wow your coffee table is supposed to be thAt colour?? crazy
âuh, hello? iâm homeâŠâ youâre about to kick your shoes off and dump your jacket on the ground and yoongi suddenly appears in front of you and stops you before you can do so
âYou have a coat rack for a reason. You also have a shoe rack. Please use them.â you sigh and place your shoes on the rack and hang your jacket up before turning to yoongi and going like r u happy now u neat freak android
âdo you eat human food?â
âI donât. I could. But I prefer not to, otherwise Iâll have to open up my stomach compartment and empty it. Which is not ideal.â you cringe and ur like yuck okay fair enough
âokay, well⊠iâm going to order dinner for myself, so i guess you can just sit hereâ
yoongi grabs your wrist before you can scurry off to the drawers where you usually stash all the takeout menus
âI threw out all of your takeout menus. You cannot live off Chinese food and pizza every day.â
âyou whA-â you press your lips together to keep yourself from screaming at yoongi but your preCIOUS MENUS ARE GONE
okay look
he cleaned your apartment for you which was actually pretty nice of him
but
piZZA!!!!!
âI ordered groceries while you were gone. Your fridge is now stocked with fruits, vegetables, almond milk - everythingâs natural and organic, and most importantly - good for you.â
âalmond milk- yOongi look that was really nice of you and stuff but iâm not- i donât drink nUT milk i drink cow milk and also??? i hate fruits and i hate vegetablesâ
âI can see that, considering the state of your skin.â Yoongi hums and his eyes light up before he scans over your face slowly âMild acne. Very common. The lack of pizza will hopefully clear up your skin soon. Youâre looking a little swollen in the face, too. Must be all the sodium. Come - Iâve steamed some vegetables for you.â
yoongi disappears into the kitchen and youâre standing there like
eXCUSE YOU
you turn and look into the mirror hanging by the door and u know what heâs right youâre looking a lil more bloated than usual and your skin is kind of splotchy and woW that pimple wasnât there this morning
your periodâs coming!!! so thatâs your excuse to pig out a little because you always need junk food for your cramps  Â
you know what youâre going to give that robot a piece of your mind and show him whoâs boss here because it certainly isnât hiM
âokay, listen here-â you swing open the kitchen door and storm over to yoongi whoâs standing by the stove with your steamed vegetables âi know youâre supposed to be taking care of me and everything but i refuse to eat these damn vegetables because- mmph!â
yoongi shoves a floret of broccoli into your mouth and you automatically chew
oh
this isnât half bad
thereâs some minced garlic in here
mm
âSit. Eat.â yoongi nudges you to sit down on the stool and sets the plate of veggies in front of you âFinish it all.â
your stomach grumbles and you frown a little
you were really craving some juicy fried chicken tonight
maybe some yam fries with that really good chipotle mayo
dang
as soon as you finish your dinner (which was a lot better than u thought itâd be) you dial namjoonâs number into your phone and look over your shoulder to make sure yoongi isnât there
âhello?â
âyour robot just made me eat a plate of vegetablesâ
âhe did? wow! heâs better than i thought heâd be because you never eat vegetablesâ
âwha- namjoon, the point here is that heâs being a control freak!! i want pizza!!â
âitâs all part of the test, y/n. if thereâs a flaw in his system weâll fix it up when you bring him in at the end of the month.â
âoh, there are pLenty of flaws in his system. iâd like to take a pair of scissors and just snIP-â
âAhem. Put your plate into the dishwasher when youâre done. And Iâm cutting off your phone usage. According to my database, youâre on your phone most hours of the day.â
âyouâre not my dad so-â all of a sudden yoongi grabs your phone from you and shuts it off and then heâs pointing to the dishwasher
heâs literally acting like your dad and itâs infuriating
âgive me my phone!â you ignore him and hold your hand out for your phone âwho do you think you are??â
âY00NGI. Who are you?â
âi-â okay you shouldâve seen that coming âjust gimme my phone!!â
unsurprisingly
this little argument ends with you not getting your phone and you being sent into your room early
you feel like a child and itâs ridiculous
and you canât even complain to namjoon about his stupid android because said android hAS your phone
âIt is 7:00AM. You have work in an hour.â
it feels like deja vu when you wake up to the sound of that monotonous voice and the feeling of someone ripping a blanket off of you and also your blinds are up so the sun is bLINDING you
âitâs 7am you have work in an hourâ you mock grumpily and yelp when yoongi smacks you with a pillow
and so
you and yoongi fall into this routine
he wakes you up
you grumble curses at him
you go to work
you come back home
yoongiâs there with your dinner
yoongi scolds you for watching cartoons
yoongi scolds you for sneaking some chips onto your dinner plate
yoongi catches you with a pint of ice cream in your grubby little hands Â
how??? did he not catch that??
maybe if he was more observant he wouldâve noticed that one of your boobs was significantly bigger than the other
yoongi clicks the TV off and sends you to wash up
you go to bed
yoongi cleans up the living room and puts the ice cream away
yoongi heads to his charging pod for the night and powers off
two weeks go by and you have to admit that youâve gotten pretty used to having yoongi there 24/7
finally the day comes where you have to bring yoongi into the lab so namjoon can see if everythingâs running smoothly
âarenât you excited?? this is your first time out!!â
âThere are more productive things that I could be doing right now. You interrupted me while I was uploading the entire Oxford dictionary into my hard drive.â even though you have your fingers wrapped around yoongiâs wrist and youâre tugging pretty hard to get him to move faster heâs still moving as slow as a snail so thatâs gr8 for u
âyou can upload it to your brain when we head back to my place. namjoon needs to see you so itâs not really my faultâ you push him into the lift and he turns around and scowls at you
âWhy do you manhandle me like that? Just because Iâm a robot doesnât mean you can treat me like this. Didnât you notice the âfragileâ sticker on my box?â youâre tempted to roll your eyes because youâve come to realise that yoongi can be very dramatic sometimes but like
he makes a fair point
you havenât really been the nicest person to him in the last two weeks
he just
gets on your nerves!!!!!!!
âfair enough. iâm sorry. i think i⊠i was just kind of offended that namjoon wanted you to take care of me because iâm like⊠a grown woman and itâs embarrassing.â
yoongi blinks at you and then turns to face the doors as the elevator goes up âThereâs nothing to be embarrassed about. Iâm just here to help you. Plus, you need someone to take care of you. You canât just eat pizza every night for dinner. And you canât just wash your face with water and hand soap every night.â
âŠâŠhe makes a fair point once again
âY00NGI, if you could just lie down here that would be greatâ namjoon points to the silver bed and youâre like low-key scared because it looks like an operating table
yoongi lies down and makes himself comfortable and rests his hands on his stomach
âiâm just going to be performing a basic electroencephalogram on you. iâm putting you to sleep now.â
a basic electroelephant-what-gram
you want to ask namjoon what the hell an electroscopicphahalalagram is but he looks pretty focused right now
yoongiâs eyes flutter shut and hoseok and jin work to place the small metal discs on his scalp and theyâre all hooked up to some machines
suddenly a bunch of what youâre assuming to be yoongiâs statistics appear on namjoonâs monitor screen
all the information on there would be normal for a human except for the B A T T E R Y : 8 7 % part
âwhatâs that? and that? and that?â
namjoonâs been friends with you for a loNg long time so heâs learned to just drown you out whenever you getâŠ. annoying
âis that his heartbeat? itâs pretty slow. whatâs his heart made of? does he even have a heart? also - i have a questionâ you raise your hand and look around at the other boys expecting them to ask you what your question is but they never do
âi have a qUES-â
âwHAT y/n what is your question??â namjoon spins around and glares at you and you smile at him sheepishly
âif i cut yoongi open would he bleed??â
thatâs
slightly concerning
âiâm sorry whatâ
âwhat iâm asking is does yoongi have.. like⊠human.. bodily fluids tooâŠâ
âi mean, like, yes? and no? his pee isnât actually pee like if you gave him water to drink then he would just pee out water and maybe some motor oil if he has a loose screw but ya thatâs itâ
âoH you know what though i actually, uh,â taehyung stifles a laugh âokAy look i wanted to make him more realistic so like i bought a bottle of⊠fake semen and so thereâs a little tank of semen inside of yoongiâ
namjoon groans and turns to look at the younger boy âi told you not to!!!â
âiâm sorry!!!! i couldnât help myself!!!! i promise itâs the good stuff tho like you can swallow it and it wouldnât even-â
âoH my god iâm not talking about this. y/n, yoongi bleeds and kind of pees. and apparently he can ejaculate now.â
âso if you ever wanna hop on that diCK feel free to-â
âsHUT UP what if he can hear you!!!!â you slap your hands over yoongiâs ears âand yoongi isnât even my type so i would never hoP on that dickâ
thatâs a blatant lie if yoongi hit on you at a club u would immediately drop to your knees
âstop talking about my androidâs dick!!!!! whY did we even give him a dick in the first place!!!!â
âi had sO much fun moulding his dick out like lemme tell ya itâs just 7 inches of puRe girth-â
âSTOPâ
eventually everyone gets back to work and youâre entertaining yourself by spinning yourself around and around on a stool and also jimin gave you a pair of stethoscopes to play with and jin gave you a lollipop to suck on
(ur a literal child)
namjoon nods to himself because everythingâs going according to plan
in fact yoongi is picking things up much faster than he thought
âemotional development is good.. heY look at that heâs already learned a couple new emotions!!!â
and youâre like ! dang heâs a fast learner what did he learn
you wheel over so that youâre right next to yoongi
âone of his new emotions are... irritationâ
âŠ..
THIS BITCH
you reach over and smack his cheek gently and ur like >:-) because heâs sleeping and he canât feel you poking and prodding at him you can do whatever you want to take your frustrations out
âCould you be so kind as to release my face?â you jump when yoongi powers up out of nowhere and youâre just sitting there squishing his cheeks together
âwhy is your new emotion irritation?â
âBecause iâve been feeling it a lot as of late.â
âwhy?â
âI just have.â
âwhy?â
ââŠBecause of a particular individual.â
âwho?â
yoongiâs eye twitches and namjoonâs like lol because he can see the negative emotion bar rising higher and higher on the screen
âaLright alright cut it out y/nâ jin scowls and pulls you away from yoongi before you have the opportunity to pull all the metal discs off his scalp
yoongi finds you absolutely infuriating
out of ALL the humans in the world he couldâve been assigned to
why did you have to be HIS human
youâre messy
lazy
irresponsible (heâs pretty sure you only have your job because youâre good friends w namjoon)
loud
manipulative
when he feels his hard drive overheating he tells himself to calm down
only a couple more months to go and then he can actually go and do something worth his time
like helping out at a hospital
working at a bank
maybe become like a teacherâs assistant or something
somEthing that helps society
helping a twenty something year old pick up her animal crackers off the floor is not a way to help society
âyoongi have you seen my reading glassesâ yoongiâs in the middle of drying off the dishes when you pop into the kitchen âbecause i swear i left them in here but theyâre not in here so then i thought they were in my bedroom but theyâre not in my bedroom sO theN-â
âTheyâre on your head.â
âoh!!! ur right teeheeâ
yoongi grips onto the dish so hard it cracks a little
seven and a half more months
seven and a half
a month goes by and guess what
itâs that time again folks
you have to be an Adult and actually Socialize with your Adult Friends
youâre heading out with a couple of gal friends from your school days tonight
you know what though youâre just glad that you get a couple of hours away from yoongi
youâre kind of in a like-hate relationship with him
like you appreciate that heâs always there for you and he does a great job taking care of you and making sure you donât spend too much time with your face in front a screen or overdose on animal crackers
but like
heâs alwAys hovering over you
like just now you were getting ready to do your makeup and yoongi was kind of just hanging out in the hallway pretending to dust the floors but you know itâs just because he doesnât want you to accidentally stab your eyeball with your mascara wand again
it was pretty nasty cleaning black ink out of your eyeball Â
also
side note
knowing that yoongi knows your exact location at any given moment is kind of creepy
and you kind of just wanna have a goOd time tonight okay
you look down at the bracelet around your wrist and watch the Y00NGI blink back at you
you consider smashing the damn thing to pieces because it is just made out of glass
you give it a test tap on the edge of the counter
clink
hm
your eyes widen when you see a teeny weeny little crack
huh
you raise your arm about to literally smash your wrist into the counter when suddenly
âMake sure to stay hydrated. Drink water after you consume alcohol of any kind.â yoongi appears behind you in the mirror and you quickly pull your arm back down and pretend like youâre just stretching out your limbs
âi know, yoongs. iâve gone out partying before.â
âWho are you going out with?â
âa couple of girls i went to school with - you donât know themâ you purse your lips and apply a layer of lip gloss and yoongi watches you in the mirror
âI donât know them?â
âof course you donât know them youâve never met themâ you scoff
yoongiâs eyes turn into a shade of blue and if you look close enough you can see digits whizzing around in there
and suddenly
âEmma, Lauren, Hailey, Anna, and⊠Faith.â
your eyebrows furrow and you turn to face him
âhow the hell did you-â
âHailey seems to be a fan of partying. Be careful. Out of all of these girls the only one that is acceptable is Faith. I trust her. I have faith in her.â
jin mustâve snuck some kind of dad joke implant into yoongi because that was awful
yoongi turns and leaves the washroom and youâre like ????? how?????wat???? how did?????
about twenty minutes later youâre all dolled up and ready to go and you see yoongi rifling through your purse as you enter the living room
âiâll take that, thank u very muchâ you snatch your purse from him and swing it over your shoulder before going to get your heels
âI was just making sure you have everything you need.â
âwhat do i need?â
âTissues. Chapstick. A bottle of water. Your wallet. Your identification card. Your house keys.â he pauses for a second and then looks back at the tv âA pack of that godawful fruity, sugary gum you like so much.â
your heart warms a little that he packed your things for you anD heâs actually letting you have your juicy fruit gum
maybe you shouldnât smash your bracelet into pieces
also jungkook did say it was expensive so thereâs that
you slip into your heels and check to make sure you donât have any lip gloss in your teeth in the mirror Â
âWhat time should I expect your return?â
âwhen i come backâ you respond simply and shut the door behind you and scurry over to the elevator as quickly as possible to avoid more of yoongiâs nagging
âPushing the button aggressively like that will not make the elevator move any faster.â you groan quietly and turn around to see yoongi poking his head out of the front door at the end of the hall
the doors open and you shoot him a quick thumbs up before getting in
âAlways carry your belongings with you. Do not accept drinks from strangers. Be aware of-â
when the doors close youâre like thANK god because your head couldâve exploded from yoongiâs irritating tips
heâs acting like youâve never gone out a day in your life
sometimes you forget how rambunctious your girl-friends are
âiâm sorry you bought a whAtâ you tilt your head in curiosity and hailey leans in a little more
youâve been at the bar for like ten minutes and the conversation topic has already swerved into the ~sexual zone~
âi said i bouGHT A SEX BOTâ everyone bursts into giggles and youâre like ohHH gotcha âi honestly donât even need to hook up with anyone anymore because my bot totally does the job - thank god for technology. heâs better than all the boyfriends iâve ever had - and he makes reALLY good pancakes in the morningâ
âcheers for technology!!â emma raises her glass and everyone follows suit and clinks glasses
you didnât even know sex bots were a thing
all the prostitutes in town must be fuming
âsex botâŠâ you trail off and now u canât help but wonder if namjoonâs ever made a sex bot
âŠis yoongi supposed to be yOUR sex bot
âbut like⊠u donât think thatâs kinda weird?? being in a relationship with a robot and all thatâ you purse your lips and everyone looks at you weirdly
ây/n - whatâs wrong with you, girl? this is the 21st century! a robot-human relationship nowadays is totally normalâ anna snorts and takes a sip of her drink
âya but the relationship youâre talking about is purely a sexual relationshipâŠ. what about like,,, a real relationshipâ you purse your lips before reaching for the small bowl of peanuts in the middle
âi mean i donât really see the problem with that tbh like date who you wanna date even if your significant other is made out of metalâ
âhey, y/n! maybe if your little crush on jungkook doesnât work out we can get a sex bot for youâ
âi doNât- i donât want a sex bot, thanksâ you laugh awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck
âwhy not!!!! itâs been like a trillion years since u got laidâ
âi,,, i know but iâm not like actively seeKing to get laid i just⊠i been busy u know how it beâ
itâs true!! youâve been super busy
sex hasnât really been a priority
plus one night stands really arenât ur thing
you canât see yourself having sex with a stranger
itâs just so
intimate
âyou have to get yourself out there!!!! otherwise your pussyâs going to dry up and shrivel up into nothingâ you wince at the crude language spilling out of emmaâs mouth and ur like u know what i think my⊠i think my pee-pee is doing just fine
âseriously tho!!! câmon you should live a little~! letâs find a cutie for you tonight to take homeâ lauren grins and looks over at the bar âhow about the bartender?? he was totally checking out ur boobs when we were over thereâ
âyou guys i- no, iâm really notâŠâ
itâs pretty obvious youâre kind of uncomfortable by the way youâve shrunken into yourself and started gnawing on your bottom lip
âhey hey hEy okay maybe not!â faith slaps laurenâs arm and she scowls in pain âletâs just have a girls night, hm? letâs just get wASted and not think about stupid boys for once!!! the guys here arenât even thAT hot - second round of drinks are on me!â she waves a server over and hailey automatically orders a round of shots for the table
âthanks for thatâ you murmur quietly and nudge faithâs side after the conversation changes from you getting laid to lauren and hER desire for a sex bot too
âdonât mention itâ she hums and reaches over to pinch your cheek
so
turns out these drinks are actually preTty strong and everyoneâs tolerance for alcohol is preTty low
an hour later
everyone is a hot fuckign mess
âlizten listen listen n to me faithy honey taehyUng is totally into you but hshhshhhh dontâ tell him donât tell him heâll kill me if i tell youâ you slur and slap a hand over faithâs mouth when you see her face light up with excitement
âomg reALLy because iâm super into him too heâs sO attractiveâ she squeals excitedly âbut like did he teLL you that he was into me because it totally doesnât count if itâs just a rumourâ
âoh NO itâs like itâs like for sure real like i went into his office and he was fully jacking off to your instagram picturesâ you hiccup and in the back of ur mind u know youâve exposed a little too much but itâs too late now
and faith doesnât exactly seem to mind learning that tidbit of information
ââŠ..iâM GONNA SEND HIM A NUDEâ
ânOâ you snatch faithâs phone and put it on the other side of the table
âhow do you make such hot friends?? i want hot boy-friends!!!!â nicole whines and downs the rest of her drink
âmaybe weEEEE should all apply for jobs at bangtan laboratoriesâ
âdibs on jin and his broad shoulders!!!!!â
âwell if you take jin iâm taking jiMINâ
âi wANT JIMIN,, anD junGKOOKâ
âi want jungkookâs kOOkâ Â
âi wanna get all up in namjoonâs dimplez heâs so cute â
âwell i want namjoon to get all up in MY GUTSâ
âiâm taking hoseok!!!!!!â
âi will FIGHT YOU FOR HIMâ
âI WANT THEM ALLâ
another hour goes byâŠ
[jeopardy theme song plays in the background]
âlOOK look itâs like fused to me and jungkook is the only one with the keyâ you raise your wrist so everyone can see your Y00NGI bracelet
âso likeâŠâŠ.. you got a robot helper at homeâ
âyaâ
âand he knows where u are all the time and ur temperature and ur heart rate and all thatâ
âyaâ
âyoU shouldnât- youshoulndât let these MEN control you like thizâ faith hiccups and you nod quickly in agreement
she grabs your wrist and flails it around âthis bracelet donât even gO with any outfits itâs so stupidâ
âi donât even- i should just smash it into smithereensâ you slur and rest your head on her shoulder
all of you exchange looks and then everyoneâs looking at the glass bracelet on your wrist
there is that little crack in it from when you tried smashing it earlier
âsmash itâ anna whispers
and then it starts
the satanic chanting
âsmash it, smash it, smash it, smASH IT SMASH IT SMACHI T SMASHCIT SMASCHITSMACIHTâ everyoneâs slamming their glasses down on the table rhythmically
with all the energy in the atmosphere and the mojitos coursing through your veins you find yourself raising your arm and suddenly
huLK smASH
you grin when you raise your wrist and shake off the shattered shards of glass and everyone whoops and clinks glasses again
wow
giRL POWER
meanwhile
yoongi perks up immediately and blinks twice
it feels like a wire short-circuited inside of him somewhere
hm
itâs about 2:57 now
itâs very very late
now would be a good time to check up on you
he checked on you about an hour ago
you seemed fine but he could sense a loT of alcohol flowing through your veins
hopefully youâre hydrating yourself with water and not just mojitos
okay time to check up on u
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
nothing
okay
no need to panic
maybe the bracelet glitched or something
he can track you via your phone
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
thereâs no signal
your phone must be out of fuckign battery agAIN
you never charge it!!!! why!!!!
okay great
whatâs the plan
he jumps when his phone suddenly starts ringing and he notices itâs FaceTime call request from an unknown number
he lets out a sigh of relief when your pixelated face suddenly appears on the screen
âyoongi!!!!!!â
âY/N? Whose phone are you-â
âmy phone is outta battery and also i broke my bracelet because you mEN canât control meâ
he hears a lot of giggling in the background
âWhat? Control you? The purpose of your bracelet is so that I can check up on- Oh my god.â you raise your wrist in triumph to reveal a couple loose wires wrapped around it and yoongiâs like oâŠ..o no âNamjoon is going to kill you.â
you hiccup and lean against annaâs shoulder
âi gotta peeâ
âAre you on your way back now?â
âare you on your way back now?â
âIâm serious, Y/N. Itâs almost 3 in the morning.â
âiâm seriouz y/n iâs almost threeeee in the morningâ
yoongi lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose
youâre a mess and youâre in no state to come home by yourself so late into the night
âIâm coming to pick you up.â
âu donât know where i AMâ
âI always know where you are. Stay put. And go pee.â
yoongi fishes your car keys out of the side drawer and tucks his phone into his back pocket
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
DRIVING 101 MANUAL: DOWNLOAD COMPLETE
okay cool now he knows how to drive
âyouâre right he IS cuteâ anna gasps after yoongi hangs up on you
âright??? if hE hit on me tonight i would totally go home with himâ you grin and hand hailey back her phone
âhis lips are real prettyâ
âhis hair looks so softâ
âand that voice??? sO sexy are you kidding me???â
âi wish someone would take care of me like yoongi takes care of y/n :â((â
âyou guys stop talking about y/nâs manz like that!!!â
âhe is not- he is most definitely noT my mansâ you laugh and shake your head
okay well like
he kinda is your mans
but heâs not at the same time
you felt a twinge of jealousy after all ur friends started gushing about how cute yoongi is
ahem
âhow about one last round of shOTs before yoongi the party pooper comes n gets me!!!!â you change the subject and everyone bursts into cheers
one last round of shots turn into three last rounds of shots so
everyoneâs stumbling in their heels when you guys finally leave the bar
lauren has an arm wrapped around your waist keeping you stable because your alcohol tolerance is the lowest out of everyoneâs
and then you see a familiar looking bot heading towards you
âyOONGs my prince in scarily realistic silicone skin!!!!!!!!â you practically throw yourself at yoongi when you see him and immediately press wet kisses to his cheek
heâs not surprised that youâre an affectionate drunk
âAlright, alright. Whereâs your purse?â youâre like aLL over yoongi and his eyes are going crazy trying to keep track of you
âi dunNo i want a piggyback rideâ thank god yoongi was programmed to have superhuman reflexes because if he didnât then you definitely would have fallen flat on your butt
yoongi sighs before reaching back to clasp under your knees and he accidentally gropes your butt before his hands quickly slip back under your knees and you canât help but giggle
âbuy me dinner before u touch me there u naughty boyâ
âWhereâs your p-â
ây/n, donât forget your- oh!!! oh!!! you must be yoOngi!!!!â yoongiâs suddenly overwhelmed when a group of tipsy girls approach him
he does a quick scan of each of their faces and recognises them as your friends
âYes, Iâm Y00NGI. M1N Y00NGI, Y/Nâs personal human mind model adaptive super android.â he likes to keep it professional when meeting new people
âwell, min yoongi. hereâs y/nâs purse.â yoongi expects you to reach out and take it yourself under he realises youâve fallen asleep and youâre definitely drooling on his shoulder âsorry about y/n - we let her get a little crazy tonight.â
âyoUâre just as hot as y/n said you were!!!!â yoongi blushes immediately and diverts his gaze before letting out a small chuckle
heâs definitely going to use that against you when you sober up tho lmao
he turns his head and his nose nudges into your cheek making you stir before youâre nuzzling your nose into his neck obviously seeking warmth
âShould I call you ladies a cab?â
âoh, and heâs a gentleman too. i need me one of these yoongiâs.â
âweâre fine, thank you. we already called for an uber. thank you for taking care of y/n for us. we were kind of worried about her after her breakup with kihyun, but itâs nice to see that sheâs in good hands.â lauren smiles and places a hand on yoongiâs shoulder
yoongi nods and offers her a smile
âIt was nice meeting all of you. Have a safe trip home.â Â
âY/N, wake upâŠâ yoongi gently grasps your arm and shakes you a little
you let out a soft sigh and your nose wrinkles and yoongiâs like o,,,,oh myâŠ.. how cute,,,⊠wait waT is wrong w mE omg
âCâmon, we gotta get you out of your dress and brush your teeth and all that.â
you whine and shake your head before settling even further into the front seat
yoongi sighs and shoves the car keys into his back pocket before bending down and scooping you up in his arms
you immediately melt against his chest as he wraps one of your arms around his neck
yoongi winces when he accidentally knocks your head against the frame of your bedroom door
âYou better not have a random leg spasm otherwise youâll take out one of my eyes.â yoongi mutters and takes your heels off before setting them aside
somehow he manages to change (peel) you out of your dress and he wipes your makeup off aND he brushes your teeth anD he puts on your moisturiser without you waking up
you truly are a deep sleeper
he tucks you into bed and heâs about to leave the room when suddenly youâre reaching out and gripping onto his wrist
âOut of all the moments to wake up, you wake up now?â yoongi teases and bends down next to you
âstay with meâ you pout and tug on his wrist and yoongi feels his fake heart go boom boom
he brushes some of your hair out of your face and lets out a sigh âI have to charge up.â
âmy app told me u were at 76% when i last checkedâ you pat the empty side of the bed âstay with meâ
somehow yoongi finds himself settling into bed next to you and he kinda just lies there like a statue
âu have to get under the blankets foolâ yoongi sighs and tucks himself under the blankets
and heâs 110% sure youâre still a little tipsy because the next thing he knows youâre snuggling up to him
âyouâre warmâ
âThanks. Itâs my generator.â he clears his throat and shifts to get a little more comfortable Â
you donât respond and he assumes youâve already fallen asleep
âthanks for taking care of me all the timeâ
yoongi lies awake the entire night feeling a little warmer than usual
âokay, we re-modified your bracelet. now, instead of glass, we used a basically indestructible metal. we shouldâve gone with the metal in the first place because this particular type is a pretty good conductor which means faster connections and-â
âbut this oneâs ugly the glass one was prettierâ you interrupt namjoon and scrunch your nose at the chunky metal bracelet around your wrist
ââŠwell you shouldâve thought about that before smashing it into piecesâ
âmy friends are very convincingâ you mutter sheepishly and twist the bracelet around your wrist before tracing your fingers over the engraved Y00NGI
jungkook comes over and takes your wrist to look at the bracelet and you canât help but feel your heart go boom boom a littLe because heâs standing so close to you right now omg
youâre swinging your legs back and forth and you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth as you watch jungkook fiddle with the bracelet
yoongi glances at you and furrows his brows a little
heâs already synced up to your bracelet so he should be able toâŠ
yEp
your endorphins are shooting through the roof right now
yoongi feels an unfamiliar emotion bubbling inside of him
oh
itâs jealousy
âThe braceletâs already synced up to me. I donât think you need to look at it anymore.â yoongi steps in between you and kook and he tilts his head at jungkook and jungkookâs like ohHO okay well iâm just doing my job
âkook get over here and help me with these damn triplex wiresâ jin calls jungkook over and he excuses himself but looks at yoongi a little weirdly
âwhat was that?? we were totally vibingâ
âIf by âvibingâ, you mean you drooling over Jungkook while he fiddled with your bracelet - then yes, you were totally vibing.â
you scoff and look at yoongi before leaning back a little and crossing your arms
âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âare you jealous of jungkook?â
yoongi trips over his words and he refuses to look you in the eye
âThatâs ridiculous. Why would I ever be jealous of Jungkook? What is there to be jealous of?â
âyou know⊠youâre the only human mind model adaptive super android for me, right?â you coo and reach up to pinch yoongiâs cheek and then heâs growling and swatting your hand away
you find yourself finally warming up to yoongi as time passes
you start enjoying his company instead of dreading it
and he feels the same way
:~)
maybe the next couple of months wonât be too bad after all
youâre in the middle of cataloguing some new books that just came in when suddenly you feel someone hovering over you
âhi can i help you find som-â you look up and stop talking when you see /??? yoongi?? behind the counter
âwhat the- how did you- how are you here right now??â you furrow your brows in confusion and yoongi plops a little bento box on the countertop
âiâm not-â your stomach growls right on cue and yoongi gives you a pointed look before opening up the bento box
âPork and vegetable dumplings, and pan-fried chive pancakes. The dipping sauce is here. I added some sesame oil, soy sauce, and sriracha to the vinegar because you seem to like that combination. Animal crackers for later. Later. And a juice box. The flavour is organic apple and grape.â your stomach growls again at the sight of this goOD food and you swear you almost start drooling
âaw yoongs you didnât have to make all of this for meâŠâ yoongi hands you a pair of chopsticks
âYes, I did. Otherwise, youâd be having a chocolate bar and a can of coke for lunch. Iâll go home now.â yoongi turns to leave and before you know it you quickly lean over the countertop and grab his arm
yoongi stops and looks down at your hand gripping his arm before looking back up at you
âwAit maybe you,,, you can stay here? with me? iâm all alone here and iâm sure thereâs not a lot to do at home besides cook and clean and all that.â you clear your throat when yoongi tilts his head and blinks owlishly at you âor,,, notâŠâ
âNo. Iâll stay. And then we can go home together.â
home
usually he says âyour placeâ or something like that like from that night you broke your bracelet
but he just said âhomeâ
âCâmon, eat up. I didnât slave over the stove for nothing.â yoongi joins you behind the desk and immediately picks up the thickEst book from the pile that you were reorganising before he got there âHistory of KoreaâŠâ
you shove a dumpling into your mouth and your eyes roll to the back of your head because goddAmn this is good
you are fully having a foodgasm right now
just when youâre about to shove a second dumpling into your mouth you jump when you hear the sound of a book slapping shut
âWell, that was interesting. What other books can I read?â
wat
you turn to look at yoongi and heâs rifling through the other books on your desk
âwait- you- did you finish reading that already???â there are question marks floating above your head because you aRE conFuSIoN
yoongi responds with a hum and picks up a second book
this oneâs the history of russia
âI think Iâll read all the history books today.â
âall of- yoongi there are like 1000 or moRe history books in this library i doubt youâll be able to read them allâ you snort and dip your dumpling in some sauce
about twenty minutes later your stomach is full of dumplings and chive pancakes and you couldnât be happier
youâre leaning back against your chair and patting your stomach happily and yoongiâs having a good time sitting next to you with his nose in a book
âSo how many books have you read in the last twenty minutes? 500?â you snort while packing up the box and putting everything back into the lunch bag
âNah, Iâm still on book 496.â yoongi sighs and shuts the book âIâm not fully charged and itâs messing with my speed.â
âI believe thatâs 10 points to me, and 0 to you.â yoongi smirks when another paper ball lands right into the bin and you groan in frustration
you finished cataloguing the books faster than you thought and thatâs how you ended up having a paper ball throwing competition with yoongi
it was his suggestion surprisingly
but now you know he only suggested it because he would win the competition
you probably shouldâve taken into account that he can calculate the perfect angle and the perfect speed at which to throw the ball at
âthis is a dumb gameâ
âNo, itâs not. Throw your ball into the waste bin.â
yoongi scowls when you throw your ball at his head and in retaliation he leaps over and immediately begins to dig his fingers into your sides
âyOONGI stop!!!!!â there are tears in your eyes from how hard youâre laughing and you crumple to the floor in defeat bringing yoongi down with you
yoongi laughs but eventually shows some mercy and stops tickling you
and now the two of you are realising that he is very much on top of you
youâre both kind of panting and your cheeks flush a little when he tilts his head and smirks
âyouâre meanâ
âIâve been told.â
âGive me the keys, Iâll drive.â
âitâs my car iâm drivingâ
âYou drive like a maniac. Keys.â arguing with yoongi never ends well for you so you grumble before plopping your keys into his open palm
you hear the beep beep of your car unlocking and yoongi opens your door for you
âah, thank you, kind sirâ you get in and toss your purse into the back before reaching down to take your shoes off
âSeatbelt⊠mâlady.â yoongi slams his door shut and you buckle your seatbelt and lean against the window
âWhere are we going now?â
âWeâre heading back home, obviously.â
there it is again
âhomeâ
his eyes flicker up to where youâre flipping and unflipping the sun-visors
âStop doing that.â he reaches up and slams it shut and you pout then lean back against the seat again
yoongi thinks you might actually have the mentality of a six year old child
âWha- What is this?â after putting your shoes away and hanging your coat up yoongi walks into the living room and sees you sprawled out on the couch with your eyes glued to the screen watching some duMb brain-melting cartoon show
âspongebob squarepants reruns.â you answer simply and shift your position until youâre upside down lying flat on your back with your legs hanging off the top of the couch
your face is turning red from all the blood going right to your head
ur an idiot
âYou are not watching this. You should watch something more educational.â
âiâve been out of school for like two years i donât- hEeeeEyâ you start whining immediately when yoongi grabs the remote and switches it to the national geographic channel
omG all these documentaries are so boring
âHere, this one. Itâs called⊠Beneath the Water.â he pauses and you recognise his thinking face
his thinking face is when he blanks out and like downloads a shit ton of information into his database Â
âBeneath the Water is a mini documentary-series focusing on the history of mythological, underwater creatures. Tonightâs episode is about mermai-â
âmermaids??? jesus yoongi how old do u think i amâ
âYou were just watching Spongebob Squarepants.â
âIâll go and make dinner.â you watch yoongi disappear into the kitchen and you immediately reach for the remote
âDonât even try!â
oh my GoD
yoongiâs like a babysitter from hell
ââŠi hate documentariesâ you mutter to yourself but you donât seem to have a choice so you lean back and make yourself comfortable
spongebob squarepants scene transition ~wun hour latier~
yoongi has to remind you to chew your food because your attention is fully on the documentary right now
he has his elbow propped up on the arm of the couch and heâs just watching you sitting cross-legged behind the coffee table with your stir-fried vegetables and fried (brown) rice ((because itâs healthier and has less sugar))
he smiles to himself when he sees you try to feed yourself while keeping your eyes on the screen
a carrot chunk falls off your chopsticks but you stick the chopsticks in your mouth anyway and you??? start chewing??? yoongiâs staring at you and heâs like thereâs nothing in your moUTH
âMaybe you can continue watching the documentary after you finish your dinner.â you literally growl at yoongi when he reaches for the remote and he raises his hands in defence immediately
âYour rice is getting cold. Eat up.â yoongi sighs when you shove like three grains of rice into your mouth and the rest of it spills onto the tableÂ
âOkay, I didnât think it would have to come to this.â
yoongi gets off the couch and squeezes in next to you and pulls your plate and your bowl towards him
âwhat are you doing??â you whine because your food is being snaTCHED
âIâm feeding you because youâre incapable of feeding yourself. The sunâs going to come up by the time you finish your meal and you need to be in bed in an hour and a half. You havenât showered yet, either. Open.â yoongi holds up a hearty spoonful of rice and youâre hesitant at first because now you really feel like a baby and you feel kinda silly but then heâs nudging it against your lips and you open your mouth automatically
and of course your head turns right back to the screen while you eat happily
âŠactually you could probably get used to this lol
you are now realising how lazy you are
hm
one month later
itâs a lazy friday night and you and yoongi are in the middle of a documentary marathon but of course you got distracted and started talking about something else
you two were actually supposed to go out tonight (thereâs this adorable ice cream parlour youâve been begging yoongi to go to) but then yoongi predicted that it was going to rain because apparently âHumidity levels are at 75% right now.â
âso the vine goes âroad work ahead? yeah, i sure hope it doesâ!â you burst into laughter and when you calm down yoongiâs staring at you like youâre crazy âdonât you get it? because the sign said that the road works ahead and-â
âYep. I get it. I just donât get it, you know? Is this what humans find humorous?â
âwell ya i guess soâ
âOh. What a sad, sad world we live in.â
okay so yoongi obviously isnât a fan of vine humour
maybe you can find something else to talk about
âdid namjoon make like a girl version of you?? maybe heâs making a lil girlfriend for you back at the labâ you wink and nudge his side playfully
âI did overhear a conversation between Namjoon and Seokjin about creating a female version of me. M1N Y00NJI will be her name, I believe.â
âoh. so sheâs not a girlfriend, sheâs like⊠sheâs like your sisterâ
âYes. And incest is highly inappropriate.â
âand super gross.â
âAnd super gross.â yoongi nods in agreement
thereâs a moment of silence and the two of you stare at the documentary playing on the screen until yoongi breaks the silence
âDo you have a significant other?â
âme? oh god, no. i mean, like, i used to, but then-â
âItâs okay. I know all about him. You donât have to explain.â yoongi hands you the bowl of popcorn when you reach out and make grabby hands at it
another moment of silence goes by
âDo you have feelings for Jungkook?â
now thAt gets your attention
you clear your throat and turn to face yoongi before pursing your lips
you were pretty sure you still had a teeny weeny crush on jungkook but youâre 100% confident that itâs not as intense as it used to be
like sure sometimes you still fantasise about kissing jungkook and holding his hand and all that gooey stuff but like
most of the time youâre with yoongi and in the couple of months that youâve gotten to know him you realise how thoughtful and sweet and caring he is underneath his cold demeanour
and you had a fleeting thought that maybe your romantic feelings for jungkook had transferred over to yoongi but
well that would be silly
after all
yoongiâs not even human
âi⊠i mean, kind of? but i know heâd never go for someone like me, so I-â
âWhy not?â yoongi keeps staring ahead âYouâre very nice. Youâre funny. Youâre thoughtful. Youâre kind. And you always share your snacks with other people even though I know you would much rather hog your crackers and juice to yourself.â
you laugh a little at that and then shrug your shoulders
âi dunno. if he was interested in me then he wouldâve made a move butâŠâ you continue rambling and yoongi drowns you out a little
yoongi is in a little bit of a sticky situation
last week he kind of developed a new emotion and heâs not exactly sure what it is
itâs a positive emotion for sure
and for some reason he only feels it when heâs around you
but he knows that it isnât right
he shouldnât be feeling like this with you
itâs not appropriate and itâs not fair to you if he suddenly told you that he felt a certain way about you
as disappointing as it is at the end of the day he is just⊠an android
âYou should tell him that you like him. You only live once, you know.â yoongi suddenly cuts you off and he swallows thickly
he already regrets telling you that
âHeâs working late at the lab tonight. Maybe you can bring him a drink. You still have the 6-pack of banana milk that you were saving for when he comes over.â
yep
heâs definitely regretting this
he turns to look at you and he can see the gears clicking in your head
heâs not just doing this for you
heâs doing this for himself
seeing you with someone else will help him control this new emotion
so this is a good plan
yep
âi donât⊠i donât know, yoongs. i donât think itâs a good idea.â you scratch the back of your neck and jump when yoongi turns off the tv suddenly
âY/N, you have to do this. You like him.â
yoongi is right
you do⊠like jungkook
âŠdonât you?
when yoongi shuts the door after you leave he lets out a small breath and ignores the new feeling growing in his chest
he feels a pang of pain within him
but this is good
he canât be with you and thatâs just the way things are
you donât think youâve ever run so quickly in your entire life but there you are practically sprinting to the labs in the middle of a fuckign thunderstorm (it was fine the first two minutes and then suddenly there was a rumble and it starting raining cats and dogs) because youâre about to confess your feelings of ~romance~ to jungkook
your heart tingles a little at the thought of jungkookâs smile
and the sound of his laugh
itâs kind of hard to see with the rain pouring down on you and your hair in your eyes but you manage to find your employee card in your wallet
âcâmon, donât let me down nowâ you swipe your employee card in the access bar and it blinks from red to green and you hear the kachunk of the front doors unlocking
your shoes squeak down the hallway as you run towards the direction of the genius lab
you slow down as you approach the two white doors and you let out a shaky breath
you can hear jungkook talking to someone and you automatically assume heâs on the phone with taehyung or someone else
this is going to be great
youâre gonna be fine
you have high hopes!!!!
you give yourself a mini pep-talk before nodding confidently and striding towards the white doors
there are little circle-shaped windows on the door and as you walk closer you start to see the top of jungkookâs cute lil head
and just as youâre about to push open the doors
you see it
jungkook and ji-eun
theyâre laughing at something but you donât know what
the smile slowly fades from your face and you feel your heart drop to your stomach
all you notice is her hand on his thigh and the way theyâre leaning into each other as they giggle
jungkookâs cheeks are flushed and so are ji-eunâs and he stares at her likeâŠ
like he loves her
heâs never looked at you like that before
and suddenly ji-eunâs leaning in and planting her lips against jungkookâs
and for some reason
nothing
you feel nothing
well
thatâs a lie
you feel a little twinge of heartbreak because youâve been crushing on jungkook for so long and heâs woW they are definitely making out right now
as you head back the only boy on your mind is yoongi
because yoongiâs always there for you at the end of the day no matter what
on the trek back home youâre suddenly hit with the depressing thought of âwell, it happened again. you thought someone liked you and it turns out that they liked someone else aka you got rejected for the millionth time in your lifeâ
that kind of dampens your mood and suddenly
youâre just⊠really, really sad
why does this always happen to you?
you get your hopes up only to have them shot down at the end
and each time you think something different will happen but you always get the same result
damn
âHey! How did it g- Woah.â yoongi shoots up from the couch when he hears the front door open and the familiar sound of you kicking your shoes off and tossing your keys on the table
youâre soaking wet from the rain and youâre still clutching the six pack of banana milk to your chest
and usually you greet yoongi when you get home but youâre just silently peeling your jacket off and running a hand through your tangled hair
that can only mean
oh
yoongi knows you more than anything else in the world so he knows that the last thing you want is to talk about what just happened
so he acts natural
âYouâre going to catch a cold if you keep standing around like that. Come - Iâll draw a bath for you.â he picks up your wet jacket before grasping your wrist and leading you towards the bathroom
âwith bubbles?â you murmur quietly and if yoongi had a heart it would clench right now because heâs never seen you look so defeated before
âWith all the bubbles in the entire world.â
yoongi dips his hand into the water to test the temperature before pulling it out and shaking some bubbles off
âAlright, I think weâre good to go.â he gets up off his knees before wiping his hands off on his shirt
you toss the dirty makeup wipe in the bin before reaching down to undo the knot of your robe and yoongiâs like okAy i guess thatâs my cue to leave
âIâll be in the living room. We⊠we can have ice cream after your bath if you want.â
âstrawberry cheesecake?â
âMhm. Donât stay in for too long or youâll become wrinkly.â yoongi shuts the door behind him and heads towards the living room
his goal tonight is to cheer you up from this damn jungkook fiasco
he hates to see you upset
you donât deserve to have your heart broken
youâre a sweet girl and youâre funny and kind and adorable and yoongi⊠yoongi really, really has taken a liking to you
he doesnât know when it happened
but one day when you were telling him about your day he kinda just had a weird feeling
he noticed that he was paying more attention to the way your lips would curl around certain words and the way your nose would crinkle slightly whenever you laugh
itâs been almost six months since he first met you
you with your (still) mismatched socks and your greasy pizza
he shakes his head and hurries to get the living room ready and comfortable for you for after your bath
things are different now.
âyou forgot to get my PJs for me so i just grabbed your hoodie out of the hamperâ yoongi jumps when he hears your voice from behind him
he turns around and it takes everything within him not to explode from all the uwus right now
your cheeks are rosy and your hair is a lil damp but you look so cute wearing his hoodie and a pair of mismatched fuzzy socks
âCome sit. I have ice cream and a whole line-up of your favourite romantic comedies we can watch.â
âyou really know the way to my heartâ you sigh happily and plop down next to yoongi and heâs fully aware that heâs overheating a little bit right now
his face is sO hot
about half an hour passes and yoongi figures heâd give it a go
it is good to get your feelings out after all
âSo⊠you gonna tell me what happened?â
âin the movie? havenât you been paying attention?â
âNot in the movie, dummy. With⊠Jungkook?â
thereâs a moment of silence and you slowly set the tub of ice cream down before clearing your throat
yoongi lowers the volume of the tv
âyeah, i donât know.. it was stupid of me to think that jungkook would be interested in me soâŠi dunno iâm not that bummed out about it for some reason??â you scratch the back of your neck and lean back against the couch
thereâs another moment of silence before yoongi speaks up
âYou should be with someone more compatible with you.â you donât know if itâs just the light playing tricks on your eyes but you swear you see yoongiâs cheeks heat up a little âAccording to your common interests, personality type, and even astrological signs - you and Jungkook are a mere 36% romantically compatible.â
âthat makes senseâŠ.. out of all the boys whoâs the most compatible with me? just curiousâ you lean back against the couch and you canât help but smile when you see yoongi and his concentration face
he definitely picked it up from you because your eyebrows scrunch together and your lips purse slightly and heâs doing exactly that
âYou and Namjoon: 62%. You and Seokjin: 51%. You and Hoseok: 28%. You and Jimin: 72%. You and Taehyung: 69%.â yoongi pauses and he looks like he wants to say something ââŠYouandme:98%.â
âyou know i really thought that joon and i would be more compatible considering weâve known each other since- wait whatâ
did he just
you and him??????? are 98% compatible???????/?
the two of you are kind of just staring at each other and for the first time yoongiâs the one who averts his gaze and he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck
woW he really did pick up your habits no wonder you guys are compatible
you like yoongi but heâs a robot and youâre a human and sure in todayâs society itâs pretty normal for humans to seek comfort and companionship in an android but you never thought youâd be one of them
like you always saw yourself being with another human that was why you pined after jungkook so much but
what you needed was right in front of you this whole time
and yes you have to admit that at some point in time your feelings for yoongi shifted from platonic to romantic but you thought you were just getting attached because of the lack of romance in your life
and yes youâve gotten used to yoongi waking you up every morning and sending you off with a cup of coffee and then when you get home heâs always there with dinner and heâs always down to cuddle
and you remember how roboT-y and coldhearted he was eight months ago but heâs a completely different android now
heâs a big softie and heâs sweet and kind and funny and charming
oh god
you like yoongi
but
heâs not even
heâs not even a person heâs a robot
âIâm sorry. That was inappropriate of me. Iâm sensing discomfort from you. Please forget I said anything. I must head back and recharge. My battery is low.â yoongi quickly gets up from the couch and before you can say anything heâs dashing off to his room and you can hear him shut the door quietly
you check his app on your phone
his battery is at 72% only
that night you find yourself standing outside of yoongiâs room with your fist raised to the door
you canât bring yourself to knock because what the heck are you going to say????
you decide that the best thing to do for now is just leave yoongi alone
itâll be good for the both of you to have a little alone time
let you think things out and all that
yeah
you nod to yourself and head to your bedroom before shutting the door behind you
youâll see yoongi tomorrow
you wake up by yourself the next morning
your bodyâs used to waking up early now which is good but a part of you wanted to wake up to see yoongi pushing open your curtains or even getting your clothes ready for you
you make a cup of coffee for yourself and spend about twenty minutes watching some tv and sipping quietly on your coffee
youâre hoping the fact that youâre watching cartoons will lure yoongi out of his room but
nothing
âyoongi? iâm leaving for work now. iâll see you later?â youâre standing in front of yoongiâs room with your hand on the door handle
you get silence in response
âyoongs?â you push down the door handle and your brows furrow in confusion when you realise the doorâs been locked
your heart clenches a little
heâs never locked the door before
he doesnât even want to talk to you
and you donât want to bother him and make it worse
fuck
your phone buzzes and you pull it out to see that you have to leave now if you want to be on time
okay
maybe youâll see him when you come back??
âmorning, y/n!â you nearly drop the stack of books in your arms when jungkook appears out of nowhere
âoh, hey kookâ you muster a smile and set the books down carefully
âi brought you a coffee and a muffinâ he puts it down on the countertop before shooting you a signature smile
and for some reason your heart doesnât flutter in the same way it usually does because all you can think about it yoongi
âthanks, kook.â you sigh and plop down on your chair âwhatâs up?â
âyouâre a girl, right?â
ouch
you look down at your boobs
âlast time i checked, yesâ
he blushes and immediately chuckles before scratching the back of his neck
âi-i mean, like, youâre a girl, so you would know what girls likeâ
âuh-huhâ
âsince youâre a girl-â
âas youâve established multiple timesâ
âwhere would you want to go? on like, a first date kinda scenarioâ
huh
this must be for ji-eun
âiâm pretty basic, so a dinner and a movie would suffice! even like a netflix binge at home would make me happy. yoongi and i have been binge watching these nature documentaries and he doesnât usually want me eating on the couch because one time i accidentally got spaghetti all over the pillows and-â you immediately cut yourself off and the smile kinda fades from your face
you miss yoongi so much
âum, yeah - dinner and a movie.â you clear your throat and shrug
âyou okay?â jungkook furrows his brows and looks at you in a concerned manner
âya! yeah, iâm fine. sorry, i just⊠went off on a tangent there.â you laugh nervously
maybe you should tell jungkook about yoongi
but then heâd ask you what happened and you donât want to have to explain the whole thing to him
itâll be fine youâll figure something out
âyou should probably head back. thank you for the coffee and the muffin!!â
the rest of the day kind of drags on slowly
you find yourself looking at the clock very frequently waiting for it to hit 5:30 so you can leave and go home and hopefully see yoongi
but you donât see him when you get back
and you donât see him the next day
or the next day
or the next day
your concern grows as the days go by
yoongi literally hasnât come out of his room in days
you decided youâd leave him alone mainly because you didnât know how to approach the situation yourself
you knocked on his door a couple times to remind him to charge up but each time you were just met with silence
another three days go by and yoongi still hasnât come out of his room
youâve been doing everything to try and get him to come out
you turned on all the stoves
you left all the lights on
you even left the door unlocked one night which was terrifying because anyone could just walk in
you also accidentally sliced your finger when you were making a sandwich one afternoon and you were bleeding all over the place but yoongi didnât rush out with a first aid kit like he usually does
you check your Y00NGI app on your phone everyday and everyday it says heâs 100% charged so at least you donât have to worry about that
but tonight
something just doesnât feel right
youâre not exactly sure what it is
you can barely focus on the nature documentary playing on the TV
you twist your bracelet around your wrist and youâre like okay thatâs it i gotta check on yoongi
you open all the kitchen drawers and finALLy find the key to yoongiâs room
âyoongi? iâm coming in,â you sigh and shove the key into the hole before twisting and-
holy shit
âyoongi!â you gasp and immediately scramble over and fall to your knees
yoongiâs on the ground and heâs completely pale
you can see all the lines and wires and digits lighting up under his skin
you grasp his face and see that his irisâ and pupils are milky Â
âoh god oh god oh god oh godâ you manage to yank the power chord down from his pod and you shove it into the nape of his neck and your phone automatically syncs up with the pod
N O Â S I G N A L
âwhat?? no signal??â you unplug it and shove it into yoongiâs neck again and still youâre met with the blinking red  N O  S I G N A L
âno no nonononono yoongi please câmonâ you grab his shoulders and shake him hard but he remains⊠lifeless âoh god, fuCkâ
quickly, you dial namjoonâs number and the next thing you know you feel a lump growing in your throat and your eyes are starting to well up with tears
âhello?â
ânamjoon, help, i- i donât know what happened- yoongi, he- i just came in and-â youâre stuttering all over the place and namjoon has no idea whatâs happening
ây/n, slow down - whatâs wrong?â
âi-i donât know! i donât know whatâs wrong with him, i shouldâve checked on him earlier but - oh god, namjoon, somethingâs wrong with yoongi h-his eyes are all milky and-â
âwhat? y/n - bring him to the lab, okay? weâll meet you there and see what we can doâ
âo-okayâ
âitâs going to be fine, yoongiâs going to be fine. hurry, okay?â
âyeah, okayâ you hang up and tuck your phone into your pocket and you give yourself a second to calm down
itâll be fine
yoongiâs going to be fine
âcâmon, yoongiâ you grunt and you end up basically dragging yoongi down the hallway and out the door
how the hell did this even happen?
how did he make it seem like he was 100% charged and his vitals were good???
this is literally all your fault
you shouldâve said something the night he told you that you two were the most romantically compatible
you shouldâve told him you felt the same way but nO you were too scared of what other people might think of you being in a relationship with a damn robot
being in a relationship with an android is sO normal nowadays
what were you thinking?? you shouldâve said something to him instead of letting him lock himself up in his room
you look at the front mirror and see yoongi just slouching over in the back and his head his bobbing up and down
you quickly wipe your tears as you speed down the highway
the last thing you need is to get into a car crash so you canât be sobbing and driving at the same time
when you get to the lab youâre relieved to see all of the boys waiting outside with a gurney
you practically stumble out of the car and the boys are quick to get yoongi out
âon the count of three - one, two, three-!â jungkook and jin lift yoongiâs limp body onto the gurney and goD knowing that yoongiâs in this state makes you want to cry even more
hoseok immediately plugs a power line into yoongiâs neck
yoongiâs veins all light up momentarily before disappearing and he seizes up
âwhat happened??â namjoon gives you a quick hug before pulling away to look at you with worry
âi.. i donât know - itâs my fault, he said something to me and i- i shouldâve said something back but i didnât and-â
namjoon rushes over and shines a flashlight into yoongiâs eyes
âhis pupils arenât respondingâ hoseok mutters and namjoon nods in acknowledgement âwhat the hell happened?â
âhe overcharged himself. his wires are fried.â namjoon murmurs in response and turns yoongiâs head to inspect his charging port ây/n, how long did he lock himself up for?â
âi donât know, it mustâve been like⊠like 10 days?â namjoon curses to himself
an android overcharging itself almost never happens
unless yoongi did it on purpose
âokay. letâs get him into the lab and see what we can do.â
you grip onto yoongiâs hand as everyone heads into the building
âiâŠi think we might have to reboot his system because i honestly have no idea what other option we haveâ
âwait hyung but if we reboot his system wonât that wipe his database clean-â
âitâs going to be fine.â namjoon gives jimin a warning look and jiminâs like eughghhhh okayyyYy aND looks at you worryingly
once they wipe yoongiâs database thereâs a high chance heâll forget everything
including you
theyâre about to bring yoongi into the lab but then namjoon notices youâre still holding his hand and heâs like okay you have to wait outside y/n iâm sorry
âbut i wanna go inside tooâ you whimper and step even closer to the gurney
âi know you do but we canât have anyone besides us in the lab when weâre rebooting a botâ
âwhy not??â
ây/n we just canât itâs the rule-â
âno. iâm going inside too because-â
ây/n we love you but we seriously canât let you in, okay? you can see yoongi afterwards.â jin cuts in and looks at you seriously and reaches down to pull your hand away from yoongi
your grip on him only tightens and with each passing moment you get more and more distraught and the boys have no idea what to do
ây/n, we donât have time-â
âno please i wanna go inside i wanna be with yoongiâ youâre sobbing at this point and namjoonâs heart clenches at the sight of how distraught you are
they all give each other looks of acknowledgement
the plan is to make you let go and then theyâll all move quickly into the lab
namjoon reaches down quickly and yanks your hand off and jungkook and hoseok work to push the gurney into the lab with jimin and jin holding the doors open
the moment you feel yoongiâs hand slip from your grasp you immediately go into a panic mode and you chase after joon and the others but suddenly taehyungâs grabbing you from behind keeping you in the waiting area
âcâmon, jagi, itâs okay,â you feel taehyung wrap an arm around you from behind but that only serves to make you struggle and freak out even more
ânO NO NO PLEASE PLEASE NAMJOON LET ME GO IN DONâT TAKE YOONGI AWAY FROM ME-â namjoon shakes his head and drowns you out as he shuts and bolts the door behind him
he can still hear you sobbing and he hears poor taehyung trying to console you Â
âiâm sorry, iâm sorry,â both you and tae are on the floor and heâs wrapped you up in a hug and is stroking your hair
his own eyes are welling up with tears because he hates seeing his friends in pain like this
âitâs all my fault,â you hiccup and taehyung shakes his head quickly
âitâs not. nothing is your fault. you didnât know.â
âbut what if they canât reboot him and he doesnât make-â
ây/n, your friends are all geniuses, okay? yoongiâs going to be fine.â
you spend the next two hours cuddled up to taehyung in the waiting room
youâre going in and out of sleep because itâs nearly 3AM and still no word from namjoon
âi think i should take you home, jagiâ taehyung whispers and you shake your head quickly
âi canât leave him againâ you sniffle and rub at your eyes because god damnit you feel yourself crying again
âyou need to sleepâ
âiâll sleep hereâ
âtae?â you perk up when you see hoseok poke his head out of the lab doors âwe need you in hereâ
taehyung turns to look at you and youâre like itâs okay you can go iâll be fine
âif you need anything just page one of usâ taehyung hands you his pager before quickly going into the lab Â
about twenty minutes pass and suddenly you feel your phone buzz
Notification: Y00NGI APP - (6) MESSAGES
you furrow your brows because how are you getting a message from yoongi right now
turns out there was a glitch in the app and you arenât getting these messages until now
your eyes start watering again when you read the messages
âIâm sorry. I should not have said those things to you. It was entirely inappropriate of me. I just wanted you to know that you deserve to be with someone who loves you just as much as I do.â
âI have never felt this way before. I did not even know I was capable of feeling such emotions. You make me feel overwhelmingly happy all the time. I have thoroughly enjoyed being your caretaker and more importantly, your companion.â
âI know that you feel the same way about me as I feel about you. But I also know how you feel about android-human relationships. Iâm going to do something that I think will be for the best.â
âY/N. Iâm sorry. Donât forget about me. I wonât forget about you.â
âLive a long and happy life.â
âYours forever, Yoongi.â Â
you bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from sobbing
youâre just so emotionally and physically drained right now
you hate yourself
you just want yoongi back
you sniffle and rub furiously at your eyes because you feel them welling up again
okay you need a distraction
the wifi isnât working for some reason so you end up flipping through your camera roll
and oh
there are so many pictures of yoongi on your roll
you canât help but laugh quietly to yourself
he sure does love his selfies
your pretty boy-bot
a yawn escapes you and you stretch your aching limbs out a little before turning to lie down on the hard bench
the boys really need to invest in like a sofa or something
soon enough you fall asleep on the bench clutching your phone to your chest
ây/n?â your eyes pop wide open when you hear namjoon open the lab doors
âhow is he?? is he okay??â you scramble off the seat and run up to namjoon
âwell, we managed to replace some of the wires in his neck. we replaced his eyes, too. canât have a blind android. luckily not everything was destroyed when he overcharged himself. we didnât have to completely reboot him butâŠâ
âbut?â namjoonâs eyes flicker down to his clipboard
âhe actually developed a new emotion.â
wat
why is he telling you this right now
âthatâs great joonie but i just wanna know if heâs alive or notâ
âheâs fine - donât worry, heâs fine. i just⊠why donât you come in and see for yourself?â namjoon lets you in and youâre shocked to see yoongi hooked up to a bunch of different computers and machines
you immediately walk over to look at him and
he still looks the same
heâs still your yoongi
âokay, you ready?â
âmmâ
namjoon hits a button on one of the machines
you jump when yoongiâs eyes open and light up and suddenly a bunch of videos appear around the room like holograms
and all of the videos are of you
like when yoongi patched up your knee and your hands and pressed a kiss to your knuckles - that was the first time he learned to give affection
or when he scolded you for coming home late and taking your bracelet off - his first time displaying emotions of frustration and worry
the two of you watching beneath the water for the tenth time in a row because you pulled out your puppy dog eyes and yoongi canât resist them
there are just multiple videos hovering around the room and all of the videos are just of you
âi think⊠i think Y00NGI loves youâ namjoon is genuinely shocked because he wasnât expecting thIS as a result of him building yoongi in the first place
âbut thatâs- thatâs not possible, right??? i mean heâs a robot and robots donâtâŠ. they donât loveâ
ânot usually - obviously there are robots out there for companionship or for sex or whatever but iâve never heard of a case where the android was capable of loving someone⊠i donât know if i should label yoongi as faulty because i seriously was noT expecting thisâŠâ
youâre half listening to namjoon and half just watching all the videos that are playing around you
âof course - Y00NGI isnât like other androids⊠i built him so that he learns from people and adapts to his environmentâŠ. heâs around you most of the time and⊠i suppose it is possible for an android to love??? heâs just so lifelike now i canât tell if this is a failure or a successâ
âheâs not a failure!!! isnât it better for him to be more lifelike? then the companionship and the romantic aspect of it becomes more realisticâ
âi donât know y/n⊠i donât know if i want mY bots like⊠falling in love with their clients⊠the purpose of the androids are to help people not fall in love with peopleâ
âwhy canât they do both??â
now that has namjoon thinking
hm
maybe youâre right
maybe he can start a line of ..,, relationship robots??
namjoon hits the button again and yoongiâs eyes immediately shut
âhow come heâs not⊠is he in a coma or something?â
âi donât know, y/n. i think we should give him a couple days - he probably needs to get used to the new hard drive.â
you sit down on the stool and you grip yoongiâs hand and bring it up to your mouth to plant a tiny kiss on his knuckles
yoongi might be in love with you
no
according to namjoon yoongi is definitely in love with you
and you love him
more than anything in the entire world
you scoot up a little so that youâre closer to his face and you reach over to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes
you purse your lips in frustration and boop yoongiâs nose
you miss his voice
you miss his laugh
you miss his touch
you miss those pretty brown eyes
âyoongs,â you whisper so sO quietly and lean in to press a tiny kiss to his cheek âi love youâ
for now itâs just the sound of machines whirring and beeping
and then it happens
yoongiâs finger twitches ever so slightly
âyoongi??â you stand up quickly and the others rush over
youâre all hovering over yoongi when he opens his eyes and a breath of relief leaves everyone and the boys are all high-fiving and fist-bumping each other
oh thank god
thank GOD
you immediately scramble on top of yoongi so you can hug him and itâs kind of an awkward position but youâre making it work
he sits up from the table while youâre still cruSHing him in a hug
âoh my god yoongi i-i thought i lost you forever iâm so sorry i shouldâve done something sooner-â
âHello. I am M1N Y00NGI.â
you pull away immediately and look at his face in confusion
âwha⊠what?â
his eyes scan your face momentarily
âYou are Y/N Y/L/N. I am your personal human mind model adaptive super android.â Â
you turn to look at namjoon and your eyes begin welling up with tears
âjoon he doesnât- he doesnât remember who i am? i thought you said you didnât reboot his systemâ you whimper and namjoonâs frantically flipping through the papers on his clipboard
âh-hold on y/n weâll be back we need to check what wires we used on yoongiâ taehyung squeezes your arm and you nod and then theyâre all leaving the lab whispering things to each other
you turn to look at yoongi again and his eyes are justâŠ
empty
looking into his eyes is like looking into a void
he doesnât remember you
âno⊠no, please, you know me, you know who i amâ you sniffle and reach up to cup his cheeks
âYou are Y/N Y/L/N. I am M1N Y00NGI. I am your personal human-âÂ
âyeah yeah youâre my personal human mind model adaptive super android but youâre moRe than M1N Y00NGI youâre my best friend a-and you take care of me and every morning you wake me up at seven every morning and you bring me lunch everyday and we read together and we watch nature documentaries together because you hate it when i watch cartoons and- donât you remember???â youâre frantic at this point and youâre grasping at his shirt tightlyÂ
âI am sorry. I am afraid I do not understand.âÂ
âyouâre more than just Y00NGI youâre mY yoongiâÂ
âI am sorry. I am afraid I do not understand. I am your Y00NGI?â you nod desperately as a tear rolls down your cheek
âyes, yes, youâre my yoongi, and iâm your y/n, a-and youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me and i love you more than anything in this entire world but please pLease you have to try and remember meâ you sob and yoongi remains stone still even as youâre pushing and smacking at his chestÂ
âYou love me?âÂ
âi love you, i love you,â you whimper and rest your head on his shoulder in defeat
youâve lost him
heâs gone forever and itâs all your damn fault
âTook you long enough to say it, you dolt.â
wait what
you pull away from yoongiâs shoulder and look at his face and his eyes have returned to their warm shade of caramel brown
your yoongi
this is your yoongi
âI thought itâd be funny to play a prank on you but I think I mightâve taken it a step too far.â
âyOONGI!!!!!!!!â
yoongiâs still trying to adjust himself to this new hard drive but itâs hard to do that with you kissing his face everywhere
he chuckles places his hands on your hips as you cup his face and just look at him
âyouâre a dickâ you sniffle and rub at your swollen eyes
yoongi smiles and wipes a tear away before pinching your cheek playfully
âIâve been told. Hi.â
âhiâ you mumble
yoongi takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and his eyes flicker down to your mouth
youâre about to ask him how heâs feeling and ambush him with questions but he holds a finger up to your lips
âSay it.â
âsay what?â
âYou know what.â
âyouâre going to have to be more specificâ you tease and yoongi gives you a look
you press your lips together and wrap your arms around yoongiâs neck
âWell?â
âwell whatâ
âI literally almost died and youâre still going to put me through-â
yoongiâs eyes go wide and his computer-brain basically short circuits when you suddenly lean in and plant your lips on his
god your lips are soft
and yoongiâs like
so this is a human kiss
totally worth it
yoongiâs eyes flutter shut when he feels you tug at his wrist to get him to respond and then heâs kissing you back with such love and affection and tenderness that it makes both of your guys heads spin
you pull away and yoongi feels himself overheating when you nudge your nose against his
âi love you.â
yoongi doesnât even hesitate to respond
âI love you too.â
âgive the man some space y/n we just resurrected himâ jungkook walks in and the other boys are behind him
you immediately blush and move to get off of yoongi but his arm slithers around your waist and he pulls you in closer
âwere you people in on this sick prank????â you scowl and squish your cheek against yoongiâs as you wrap your arms around his neck
âweâre sorry!!! it was all yoongiâs idea okAYâ jimin raises his hands in defence
how are you holding up, champ?â namjoon walks over and gives yoongi a pat on the back âfeeling okay?â
âmm, iâm feeling good. you really tightened my wires, didnât you?â yoongi tilts his head and cracks his neck before wincing
âyeah - theyâre extra durable so you canât fucking overcharge yourself like an idiot againâ yoongi gets a smack across the head from each of the boys and you whine and swat their hands away before cradling his head and bringing him down to rest against your chest
and yoongiâs like teehee because his face in between your boobs
âleave him alone! heâs gone through an exhausting 48 hours. âŠbut i agree, you fuckign idiotâ you swat yoongiâs head and he groans out in pain before reaching up and rubbing at the back of his head
ây/n, i gotta talk to you about something câmere for a secâ namjoon calls for you and you nod before carefully crawling off of yoongi
before you get a chance to walk over yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a teeny kiss
âomg u have plenty of time to kiss each other later go to namjoon so we can double check yoongiâs wiringâ jin smacks your arm and you scowl before hopping over to joon
âwhatâs up?â
âokay, you have to promise not to get mad.â
ââŠwhat did you doâ
namjoon presses his lips together and tucks a pen behind his ear before leaning back against the table
âabout a month after you took yoongi in, i actually got a request from⊠a really, really wealthy girl - she⊠well⊠next month will be your seventh month with yoongi.. and technically your- our - contract terminates automatically after eight monthsâŠâ
you furrow your brows in confusion
namjoonâs never brought this up before
âikindofsortofmaybesoldyoongitothisgirlâ
wow
this day just keeps getting better
âyouâŠâ
ââŠâ
âYOU DID WHAT- OOF IâM GONNA FUCKGIN KILL YOU GET OVER HEREâ the next thing namjoon sees is you lunging at him and suddenly youâre chasing him around the lab and yoongi and the boys are all like um wtf is happening
namjoon has string bean legs so obviously heâs getting away from you pretty easily but you still run as fast as you goddamn can
ây/N WAIT JUST LET ME EXPLAINâ somehow you and namjoon end up standing at opposite ends of a table with vERY SHArp tools
âYOUâVE DONE PLENTY OF EXPLAINING GET OVER HEREâ when you round the table to get to namjoon he moves quickly and ends up where you were just standing
âlisten liSTEN i can laBEL HIM AS FAULTY and tell her i have to make anoTHER model for her!!â you donât even register what namjoonâs saying because you are positively fumING
if you were in a cartoon smoke would be coming out of your ears
you pick up whatâs closest to you which happens to be a pair of long tweezers
âiâm going to pluck your eyES OUT NAMJOONâ
âyou can keEP YOONGI FOR CHRISTâS SAKESâ jungkook grabs you before you can hop over the table to strangle namjoon and youâre like wait what
âyou can keep yoongiâ he breathes out and presses a hand over his chest âpeople are willing to pay miLLions of dollars for yoongi but iâm going to label him as faulty so you can keep him - for frEE.â
good god youâre terrifying when youâre angry Â
âohâ
âuh-huhâ
âthen why even bring it up in the first place?â
âyou⊠yoongiâs going to be your permanent responsibility and i need to know that you can handle it. he is my first creation after all. yoongiâs my baby! even though heâs technically older than me. you know⊠i⊠you wonât have to bring him in for check ups every two weeks anymore but i need to know that youâll be able to handle any given situationâ namjoon scratches the back of his neck
your heart warms a little because namjoOn cares thAT much about yoongi
âlike what if he has a loose wire somewhere and-â
âjoon, i promise you i will take care of yoongiâ you hold a hand to your chest and youâre about to reassure him even more but yoongi butts in
âUm, is everyone forgetting that Iâm like, a genius android? I could perform brain surgery if I really wanted to. Iâm sure Iâll be able to take care of a loose wire.â
ââŠfair enoughâ namjoonâs like :â) iâm so proud of my android baby :â) but here y/n take this basic manuscript on how to rewire wires :â)
âi canât believe you made me cry like thatâ after namjoon and the others triple-check that yoongiâs good to go they give you the green light to head home
âIâm sorry, baby. It wonât happen again. I love you.â yoongi squeezes your hand and your heart flutters in your chest
you swing your arms back and forth before stopping and standing in front of yoongi and yanking him down to kiss you
âi love me tooâ yoongi scowls and digs his fingers into your side making you giggle âi love u tooâ
âshould we get pizza to celebrate?â Â
ââŠIn your dreams.â
>:-(
the two of you head over to the car and once youâre buckled in you turn to face yoongi with your hands on the steering wheel
âso where are we heading now?â
ââŠHome.â
home :)
you donât like to admit it but sometimes you like to take advantage of the fact that yoongi is an android
especially when heâs in the middle of his charging time
âwe shouldnât have had a harry potter marathon because it drained all the battery out of meâ yoongi winces as you plug his cord into his neck a little too roughly
you apologize and give him a lil kiss before moving to sit on the bed
the two of you decided itâd be a good idea to move yoongiâs fridge (âStop calling it a fridge, Y/N. Itâs my charging pod.â â...issa fridgeâ) into the bedroom now that you two are,,, together
â...iâm going to go eat some lucky charms nowâ
âOkay, but- wait, what? Lucky charms? I threw them out last week. Nice try, hiding the box under the bed.â
âuh-huh, under the bed.â you smirk and stand up before heading over to the bedside drawer
âI donât like that look on your face. What are you up to?â yoongi furrows his brows when he sees you pull out a tampon box out of the drawers âAre you ovulating? My calendar tells me that youâre not supposed to-â he immediately stops talking when you open up the box to reveal noT tampons but just straight up lucky charms
and itâs not even lucky charms itâs just lucky charm MARSHMALLOWS
âOh my god.â
âoh my god indeedâ you grin and shovel a handful of marshmallows into your mouth and yoongi winces when he senses your blood sugar shOOt up
âY/N, no.â he gives you a stern look and you shrug innocently before popping another marshmallow into your mouth and crunching down on it
ây/n, yes. iâm going to eat ALL OF THESE RIGHT NOWâ you zip out of the room and yoongi groans loudly and reaches up to pull the plug out of his neck Â
but heâs stuck there because the cord wonât unplug until heâs up to at least 30% charged
he really needs to do a more thorough check of the bedroom next time
of course karmaâs a bitch so you end up drinking the blandest chicken soup for dinner that night to âflush out the toxins and chemicalsâ
sometimes you have ⊠depressing thoughts
like you know that itâs impossible for you and yoongi to grow old together and that youâre going to turn into a sack of wrinkly prunes one day and heâs still going to look like heâs 25
somewhere down the line youâll have to end things with yoongi and find an actual human being because you want to have a family and yoongiâs fake semen isnât going to get you anywhere
or maybe you can ask namjoon to make robot-human babies if thatâs even possible
that sounds terrifying actually
but you know what
youâre just living your best life right now
youâre young and you donât have a care in the world
the world of android-human relationships is a completely normal concept in this century
youâre having fun with your android-boyfriend!!! enjoy the present :-))))
speaking of your android-boyfriend
dating yoongi includes ((but is not limited to!!)) lazy make-out sessions because thatâs just who he is
like youâll be watching some documentary and youâll be cuddled up to yoongiâs chest
these nature documentaries have become your favourite thing to watch but whenever yoongiâs busy with something you sneak away to watch your cartoons because you could never give up adventure time
anyways
yoongi gets pretty bored quickly with these documentaries mainly because everything the narratorâs saying,,, he already knows
you have your head on his chest and he likes to hook a finger under your chin and bring your face up to his before pressing his lips against yours
and usually you entertain him for a second and kiss him back but your eyes are still glued on the screen while youâre kissing him
and thaTâs when he gets pouty
âBaby, pay attention to me.â yoongi sighs and taps your cheek gently and you turn to glance at him quickly
âi paid attention to you alreadyâ you give him a chaste kiss and he leans in to chase after your mouth but youâre already pulling away and settling back against his chest
âIâm bored.â
âyoU chose this documentaryâ
âI know, but Iâm bored. And there are better ways to pass the time, you know.â
âlike wha-yOongi!â the next thing you know yoongiâs pulling you onto his lap and you have your legs on either side of him and he already has his face in between your boobs âwell this isnât convenient for me because now i have to twist my back to look at the screenâ
yoongi rolls his eyes and pauses the documentary before tossing the remote to the opposite end of the couch
âand you say iâm the one with the out of control hormonesâ yoongi hums and you squeak when you feel him grope your butt
what a gentleman
yoongi tells you make-out sessions are actually good for him because it allows him to learn more and stuff but ur like what kind of skills do u gain from making out with someone
itâs just because heâs a horn-dog
âmy salmonâs going to burn in the oven, yoongiâ you giggle against his lips and yoongi literally whines when you pull away which is sO adorable
âThe salmon wonât burn. According to my timer, itâll be cooked perfectly in 10 minutes.â
âoOH yeah baby keep talking technology to me mMmâ
yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes but pulls you back in for another kiss
sometimes you forget yoongi is a super-intelligent robot and can pick up things like really reALLy quickly
âyoongi, oh goD yoongiâ yoongiâs hands slide down to grip your ass as he continues helping you to push your hips down against his thigh
âIs that good, baby? Gonna cum all over my thigh? Greedy little thingâŠâ hearing his low, raspy voice murmur that right into your ear would be enough to make you cum but also
where the HELL did he learn to talk like this Â
âwhereâd you- yoongi, ah - where the hellâd you learn how to talk like that?â
yoongi pauses and pulls away before looking at you and blinking
âI downloaded an archive off of Pornhub.com so that I would be fully equipped with the skills required for you to have an orgasm. Is it not working?â
âno, itâs working, i just wasnât expecting itâ youâre still kind of breathless because you were literally riding his thigh for the last two minutes
and now youâre just perched on his lap casually having a conversation
âOh. But you like it, right?â
âyaâ
âThen whyâd you stop me, dummy?â yoongi shifts under you and your eyes widen when you feel him press himself right against your core âNow be quiet and let me make you cum on my thigh.â
ah
your sweet yoongi
ever the romantic
also
um
tongue technology
âJagi - if you keep squirming like that, Iâm gonna have to hold you down harder and I might cause bruising which isnât ideal.â
âi canât help itâ you whine and your hips automatically raise up from the bed
yoongi rolls his eyes and digs his fingers into your plush hips before forcing you down and woW you underestimated his strength because u literally canât even move
âWell, help it.â he shrugs and proceeds to bury his face in between your legs again
he groans against you when you cry out in pleasure
something that youâve learned about yoongi is the fact that he loves to tease
like seriously he teases so much itâs kind of concerning
âYou have to tell me what you want, baby.â
âbut i-â you pout and whine underneath yoongi because heâs not giving you what you wANT
âNuh-uh, donât start whining now.â
and what he says next has your insides melting
âTell daddy what you want.â
âdaddy, pleaseâŠiâŠâ
âHm? Couldnât hear you, doll.â yoongi sighs and leans down to press a kiss against your inner thigh before blowing gently on your core and you instantly twitch
âThat wasnât so hard, was it?â yoongi has to admit he himself is getting a little impatient so he bends down and proceeds to eat you out as if he were starving
one of your hands slithers down to his hair while the other reaches back to grip at the headboards
god bLESS taehyung and his talent for designing yoongi  Â
the first time u and yoongi have sex
noW you see the hype with sex bots (even tho yoongi technically isnât a sex bot but daMn heâd be a hit if he was marketed as one)
of course it starts off sweet and romantic because it is your first time with him after all
yoongi showers you with sweet n soft kisses and is so sO gentle with you
heâs positioned in between your legs snugly and has his fingers intertwined with yours with one hand while the other is propping him up a little
his forehead is pressed against yours and all of your senses are just flooded with yoongi yoongi yoongi
âyOongi, ah-â you whimper and arch your back when he thrusts and hits that spot
âMm, there?â yoongiâs nipping at your collarbone before he trails kisses up your neck and along your jaw and you nod desperately
âthere, right thEreâ a gasp slips past your lips and yoongi canât help but smirk to himself proudly when he hits it again
âDoes that feel good?â his voice is all low and raspy and good goD you could die right then and there
âyEaH yeah that f-feels good, feels really good, yoOngi- oh, god, i love y-yoUâ your sharp nails bite into his back and yoongi bites down on your shoulder as payback Â
yoongi thanks the android gods above because heâs able to capture the image of you having an orgasm and he can play it over and over and over again
your sweet little cries and moans and pants of pleasure
all for him
âNngh- you okay?â yoongi shudders when you squeeze around him from the overstimulation
you nod bashfully and look away and yoongi think itâs sO adorable how shy you get post-sex
âDonât get shy on me now, jagi.â yoongi coos and presses his lips against yours
you kiss back obediently but then youâre pushing at his chest gently âi wanna make you feel good tooâ
âItâs okay baby, you really donât have to -â itâs too late because youâre already pushing yoongi onto his back and crawling on top of him
âbut i want toâ
ââŠOnly because you said so.â yoongi sits up eagerly and you canât help but giggle at how quickly he changed his mind
so remember how sweet and romantic u guys were like twenty minutes ago
yeah
yEET
âOh, fuck- youâre doing so good, baby, so good for me,â yoongi groans and his grip tightens on your hips and you cry out when he bucks up into you
âYeah? Gonna cum again? Cum all over daddyâs cock?â yoongi has a hand in between your legs and is rubbing quick circles on your already sensitive clit
you nod quickly and furrow your brows before arching your back against him
âw-want you to cum i-insideâ you breathe out and yoongi growls when you squeeze around him
oh god
yep
yoongiâs gonna exploDE
yoongi delivers a slap to your backside making you arch your back and cry out
âBeg for it, pretty girl.â
you get all bashful again and nuzzle into the crook of his neck and yoongi barely hears your little á”ËĄá”á”Ëąá” á¶á”á” á¶ŠâżËąá¶Šá”á” á¶Š Ê·á”âżá” á¶Šá” Â
âYou werenât this shy a second ago, babyâŠâ you let out a pathetic whine in response and yoongi figures heâll let you get away with it just oncE
he grips a handful of your ass and hooks a finger under your chin then pulls you closer so he can kiss you Â
you kiss him back enthusiastically and your thighs are on fiRE but u know dis shit is gon be worth it so you power through
itâs a pretty messy and uncoordinated kiss and yoongiâs tongue is fully in your mouth
yâall are FREAKS
âY/N, fuck, fuck, itâs happening, h-happeningâŠâ yoongiâs fingers dig into the flesh of your hip and he tosses his head back
the next thing you know both you and yoongi are seeing stars
yoongi feELs like heâs short circuiting thatâS how good this orgasm is
âhuhâ
âwhatâs wrongâ you wheel over to namjoon and the two of you look at an unconscious yoongi
namjoon has his neck flap opened so you can see all the wires running through yoongi
âthis wireâs been burnt to a crispâ
âhow?â you look at in in concern and ya namjoonâs right one single wire is split and completely fried
âitâs weird because this wire is the wire connected to, uh,, u knowâŠâ
âto the whatâ
âyou and yoongi have.. sex, right?â
you blush instantly and clear your throat before pretending that you got a notification on your phone
âimeanlikeyeahiguesssoâ
âoH donât worry thereâs nothing wrong with that thatâs totally fineâ joon reassures you before picking up a pair of tweezers âthis particular wire being all burnt up and crispy makes more sense nowâ
âwhat do u meanâ you raise an eyebrow and pick up your bottle of water
âhand me the scissorsâ namjoon pauses and holds his hand out and you grab the scissors for him ââŠyou made him nut so hard he busted a wireâ he shrugs casually and you choke on your water
omg LOL
âiâm sorry whAtâ
namjoonâs brows furrow as he ties the two loose ends together hoPefully that will fix it til the wires come âjimin - can you bring three single-strand wires? i have to replace yoongiâs triplex wire-â he turns and raises an accusing brow at you and you huff âyeah, that one. the blue one. this should do the trick for now⊠i thinkâ Â
âhere ya goâ
âthank you- anyways yoongi wasnât made to be a sex bot-â
âheâs noT A sex bot u know what sometimes heâS the one with the out of control hormones i like to think that he wants it more than i do-â
âso i guess i better pick up some more durable wires seeing that your guysâ relationship probably isnât ending anytime soonâ namjoon clicks yoongiâs neck flap shut and you have no idea how this silicone shit works but now it looks like a normal neck again âthe wires will probably take two weeks to get here so,,, iâm sorry u sex fiend but no sex with yoongi for two weeks otherwise he might actually burst into flamesâ
taehyung comes over wearing a monocle looking thing and proceeds to do his part to yoongi which is just the ~outer appearance~
he doesnât have to do much considering yoongi is pretty much perfect
âiâm on joonâs side - as much as i love and support this relationship iâm gonna need you to slow down a littleâ taehyung pauses to tweeze one of yoongiâs eyebrow hairs âbecause iâve gone to the sex shop to buy fake semen so many times they asked me if i wanted an industrial sized juG of itâ
yoongiâs learned to be very affectionate because of you but he has his limits
âY/N, itâs time to wake upâŠâ yoongiâs stroking some hair out of your face before he pokes your cheek gently
you grumble something under your breath and swat at his hand
âCâmon, jagi. Youâre going to be late for work.â he sighs and reaches down to pull your (his) shirt down because it always rides up
you groan and flip over on your stomach
âBabyâŠâ yoongi sighs and leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder
another grunt
okay thatâs it
yoongi sighs and gets off the bed before grabbing the blanket and literally riPPINg it out from under you causing you to roll off and flop right onto the floor
âoW WHY DID U-â you sit up and rub your forehead before glaring at your dumb boyfriend
What do you think people will say about you at your funeral?
Like Iâd ever let that bizarre custom be held for me, even if I was going to die. But seeing as how Iâll still be here long enough for the last funeral to be held, maybe I can find you and bless you with a few words at yours?