#volaskis

to clarify this isn’t an “amber is autistic” post. i am very aware that she’s not, i just want to put forth some traits i see in her & relate to as an autistic person. don’t take this as canon, don’t vaguepost me, and ESPECIALLY don’t pull the “You’re Attributing Regular Human Behaviour To Autism, Not Everyone Has To Be Autistic!” bullshit because i am NOT in the mood. this is my self indulgence post and if you disagree then please let’s talk about it Nicely in the comments of the post as god intended.

more points. it’s 5am and i’m lazy so we’re going sourceless, i’m taking for granted that you have a good enough grasp of the source material and autism to understand what i’m talking about when i reference specific canon events & symptoms of high-masking autism. i’m also largely talking about fellowship amber because i like her, and i won’t cover everything here because there’s a lot!!! here is a summary of my thoughts & some traits in no specific order.

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— hangups on fairness.

obviously amber doesn’t play fair in the competition, but her rule-breaking never Actively goes against the Overarching Rules house has set about the competition. the car wash & dog collar stunts are two examples; it’s her way of eliminating the competition from within, but she never Forces her targets to leave. in a similar way, she doesn’t seem to begrudge cole or brennan for their tactics, nor does she hesitate in getting cuddy’s thong in an underhand way.

her issues arise when the Win Condition ITSELF is changed— when kutner changes his number, and when terzi suddenly takes a spot— and BOTH instances make her mad, because it’s not Fair. it’s not FAIR that kutner just gets to come back, and it’s not FAIR that terzi gets a free pass. THAT’S why she gets so hung up on both.

— social ineptitude.

amber is BLUNT as FUCK.

“oh, but nick!” i hear you cry, “amber doesn’t count because she’s rude on purpose!”. and yes, this is true Sometimes— with thirteen, for example, she is Obviously acting cruel on purpose— but there are several instances where she’s around people she’s trying to please and she actively brown-noses them so much that it actively makes them dislike her.

i mentioned it in this post which has explicit quotes— particularly noting the cuddy & cameron ones— but she also does it to chase once, and house Several Times. and yes, i know what you’re thinking— you absolutely CAN put this down to neurotypical social messups— but that brings me to…

— “cutthroat bitch” as a mask

gets its own section. amber has that speech mid-s4 about always having to choose between love and respect, which itself is a very autistic sentiment (the idea that Being Yourself means people will inherently perceive you as lesser— hello?!?!?!).

it also, however, brings up the idea of “Cutthroat Bitch” being The Method By Which Amber Gets That Respect— “if you want to win, you want cutthroat” or whatever she says. because if you can’t naturally garner love from people through her personality— which, well, seems like it’s not her strong suit— then the other option is being so good you garner respect instead.

amber is not an inherently cruel person— cruelty is a means to an end for her to reap the benefits a normal person would get from social aptitude and kindness. which leads nicely onto…

— “if they don’t like you, you gotta be right, or you’re not worth anything.”

like house, she is laser-focused on Winning and Being Right. her one-track mind and black-and-white views on patients (which are both traits, btw!!!) are literally what get her fired. she’s also generally stubborn and competitive (see; Her Whole Thing, but the whole kutner betting thing comes to mind).

she is So focused on winning that getting fired genuinely makes her burst into tears. and sure, you can argue that she’s just sensitive, but… is she??? because it definitely feels more like frustration in the context; she did everything right, she even acted Suitably House-ian, and then got nerfed for the same logical one-track mind that hinged her own worth as a human being on her success in the fellowship competition.

DON’T MISINTERPRET ME. i am NOT saying she shouldn’t have been fired— house had EVERY REASON to fire her. what i am saying is that, in the context of the previous point re; “cutthroat bitch” being a means to an end, amber’s firing serves as a proof that being Right and Independent and Better— something that she relied upon as a substitute for Love— was Never Enough on its own. she cannot be liked OR respected, she is chopped AND unc, yadda yadda yadda.

— safety in control

kind of unrelated to the previous points, since it concerns wamber-amber… and i will admit, this is more of a Theory or one of those highly fantastical watsonian points where the doylist explanation is undoubtedly “the writers didn’t care enough to think about her character like that”. but wilson-relationship-era amber— aka, amber after having the Curse Broken and being Healed By Love— is the one looking after wilson. she puts his feelings before her own, she takes care of him… hell, she even takes care of house in the events leading up to house’s head.

i think the idea of her being autistic would offer a good explanation for this— because amber likes to Be Right, as demonstrated— likes to Know The Score, to have some kind of objective metric to make herself feel Worth Something (which she’s just lost on account of being fired). wilson, in all of his needy glory, perfectly provides that for her— because he NEEDS someone to be gentle with him, and who can Fight for him like amber does. his weakness/willingness to let her take the reins gives her a kind of control & safety in the romance which she is in desperate need of after the sheer Lack Of It she was left with at the end of the fellowship competition.

*in spite of my personal dislike of the ship, i am quite biased towards this interpretation, because Amber Benefitting From Wamber By Wilson Allowing Her Control is quite possibly the only way i have found to read the romantic relationship between them as Mutually Beneficial. it also offers a deeper reason for amber’s upset re; the water bed thing— because the foundations of the relationship are actively disturbed by wilson NOT trusting and relying upon her. i hope i’m explaining this clearly because i don’t know how else to phrase it in a way that makes sense— but tldr; control makes her feel safe and wanted, so wilson’s neediness lets her feel secure or whatever

— random miscellaneous points

she’s not very good with hiding her expressions. taub telling her “shiksas are for practice” & amber (slight delayed reaction time) going 🤢 is one example. Surprised Pikachu Face amber is another. her smile when terzi is fired and her elation whenever she solves a case, her Abject Disgust when kutner checks her out… she’s generally just a goofball. i’m too lazy to get these gifs so this is a #trustmebro situation

in the rare moments she does actively try to connect in a vulnerable way, she is awkward— her blurting out “i hate thirteen!” in an attempt to please house is crazy. there’s also this scene, which is kind of giving I-Love-How-You-Can-See-Quackity’s-Emotions-On-His-Face Meme— it’s literally just her trying to butter up thirteen— but her body language here vs how little of a fuck thirteen gives DOES fry me, so i WILL gif it:

she doesnt care girl……. girl ur doing too much… im sorry…….

she generally Goes Places Most Self-Respecting People Wouldn’t Go for the job— you could put it down to competitiveness, but i’m making a case for social disregard. would you go commando for a job? would you climb through the window of an oncologist’s office MID-MEETING??? WOULD YOU BRING COFFEE AND DONUTS FOR AN APPOINTMENT TO DIG UP A GRAVE?!?!?!?!

& a point for high-intelligence but low common sense/social perception— letting a smoking addict alone in a room with an oxygen tank. NOT HER FINEST MOMENT!!!

sorry that this was so rambly and probably ooc!!! i had fun writing it though. like i said before if you have any harsh criticisms please either phrase them nicely or keep them to yourself (i am normally up for debate but i’m kind of sensitive to this one so please be nice to me <\3).

there is also def more i’m not thinking about rn so if u have any additional thoughts feel free to leave them. i am very normal about amber volakis can you tell??? i like amber volakis a normal amount