#vodblogging

Today, the very minute I get to work:

My lungs: eewwwuuueegg what the fuck is this

Me: oxygen. You know, the entire reason u even exist?

Lungs: its gross tho? I don’t want it.

Me: bitch, you HAVE to. it is not a matter of preference, it is a matter of survival

Lungs: hm. no, i dont think i will. but thanks for offering ig

Me: ok fuck you. *sprays with the breathing steroids*

Lungs:

Also government: (pockets padded padded with all the bribe money that the monopolies give them) Anyway, we have decided that the Not-Monopoly you are trying to sue cannot be sued or found fault in for the instance of their customers’s bank accounts being bled completely dry via the third party access that occurred after the business deal between the Not-Monopoly and said third party. The collection and sale of your data itself was completely legal because we’ve spent the past several decades rewriting all the laws to remove customer protections and any wording that would put any sort of limitations on Not-Monopolies. The Not-Monopolies can do whatever they want because we said so. Also the banks also lost all that money, and we have to prioritize helping them out. You know, for the economy.

Government: And, like, after that, there just is not enough money left over to compensate you and every single affected customers for the loss of your entire life savings. You’re just asking for too much at this point. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and figure it out yourself. That’s the American Way, and you’re not acting very American right now, which we don’t like to see. Hurts our feelings. You know how it is.

Government: Anyway, that will be 75k for the court bill, which you have to pay now since you lost this case, and if you don’t pay it due to not having enough money then you’ll be taken outside and shot, and your grieving family will be settled with the debt plus the fee we charged you for not paying the debt when we told you to.