#viviane

🩵🩵🤍🩵🩵

Your knees ached from kneeling on the cold marble for so long, your heart heavy from the prayers you’d been repeating in your head for over an hour.

You blessed me with such friendship, and cursed me with affection.

Please, just let me live without these feelings.

Let me stay with my friends.

Let them love me back.

Over and over, you prayed to the Mother to solve your problem. To keep you from being made to leave your court, to keep you with your oldest friends, the ones you love.

You had grown up in close proximity to both Kallias and Viviane, being an orphaned fae living in the Winter Court’s grand temple, connected to the High Lord’s palace. Your pale blue skin and curved, white horns on your head had made you feel out of place among so many High Fae, but Kal and Viv?

They had befriended you without a thought.

And while Viviane had moved away when you were all in your second century, the three of you had stayed thick as thieves, sneaking away every night before Winter Solstice to Kallias’s cabin, and any other night you could manage. You would stay up all night, catching up on the goings-on in your lives, drinking just enough spiced wine to warm your bodies against the inevitable blizzard raging outside.

Though even without the wine, or the blazing fire in the fireplace, their presence alone would have kept you plenty warm.

Your… Feelings for the pair had arisen on one of those nights, when the three of you had snuggled close under a blanket, Kallias and Viviane on either side of you. The closeness of them, the soft puff of their breath on your neck, the gentle brush of their hands.

Of course, it didn’t help that they were so kind and considerate, always willing to listen to you. And oh, how they brought you so much joy without even trying. Hearing about their day, or even the random, strange thoughts that would pop into their heads never failed to bring a smile to your face, spark the flame of joy within your chest.

And in the last century and a half, those feelings had never faded, only growing stronger with each passing day.

Of course, you had never spoken aloud your attraction, your love for either Kallias or Viviane, utterly afraid of rejection. You saw the way they looked at each other, the pure love in their eyes, even if they were too stubborn to admit it yet. Early on, you suspected that they were mates, with the way they were always on the same wavelength.

Kal had been busy being raised as the High Lord’s heir, most of his days crammed full of meetings and lessons. Viviane had been trained as a courtier, as well as honing her magical abilities with the help of Kallias, their powers so similar. And when Kal had sent her to a large border town, near the Summer Court, she had taken a position of leadership in their armed forces after excelling in physical combat, once given the chance to learn.

You had joined the priesthood early, as soon as you had been allowed by the High Priestess of Winter. She had taken you in at the age of two, the closest you had to a mother. In the four centuries you had been alive, you rose to the top of the ranks, your devotion to the mother and the people of Winter your top priority in every way. Just before the rule of Amarantha, you had earned the title of Head Priestess, just a step below the High Priestess, Jayna.

However… Amarantha had slaughtered most of the priestesses in Winter when your court had rebelled, along with the two dozen younglings who’d had their minds shattered by her daemati. Your near-mother, Jayna, had been among those killed.

In a cruel twist of fate, you had been given her position by Amarantha, her maniacal cackle still ringing in your ears some nights when she had appointed you, laughing about how distraught the Mother would be to see such pitiful scum, a lesser fae, in charge of one of her temples.

But when Kallias had been freed, nearly fifty years later?

He had officially appointed you as High Priestess, a new, more ornate circlet made for you to wear, made to fit easily around your curved horns - a detail that hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Before that, though, before he had given you your title, he had rushed to Viviane, confessing his love and asking for her hand in marriage. Not even a day later, you had married them using your title as High Priestess, your heart so, so happy, but so, so broken, three sharp, jagged pieces constantly digging into your chest.

You were so, unbelievably happy that your friends were married, and even happier that they were happily mated, their bond finally having come to life after the wedding night.

You only wished to be a part of it.

Over the past two years you had slowly withdrawn, leaving your friends space to learn their new relationship dynamic without your presence, an unwelcome third wheel.

Not that they’d indicated any discomfort with you being near them, but… You needed to give them space.

To give yourself space.

But earlier today, while you were taking your lunch, a note had arrived, sealed with Viviane’s personal seal.

Asking you to dinner, saying the three of you had something to discuss.

You’d managed to make your way through the rest of the day without giving away how utterly nervous you were feeling, performing blessings on those who came, seeking your help. An hour before you were due to arrive at the High Lord and Lady’s personal quarters, you sought the guidance of the Mother herself.

Well… Begged for guidance, help from the Mother. She had never led you wrong before, though you wish she’d allowed you more power to save those who had been under your care during Amarantha’s rule.

But now?

She was giving you nothing, no hints as to what to do in this situation.

And you were out of time.

With a sigh, you stood from your kneeling position at the altar, lowering your invoking stone back to your chest, resting over silvery blue robes.

You knew the way to their shared rooms so well, you could have walked the path with your eyes shut. But the closer you came to their door, the slower your steps, the more your nerves told you to turn around.

That wasn’t a possibility, though. You have to face them, even if it’s for the last time, for them to kick you out of their court.

You took a deep breath when you stood before their door, preparing yourself for whatever may happen once you enter. One knock and the door swung open, your hand still poised to knock again.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Viviane exclaimed, throwing her arms around you and squeezing you tightly, her vanilla and cinnamon scent washing over you as her silver hair bounced over your shoulders. She pulled back to look at you with her sparkling blue eyes before saying, “I feel like it’s been forever! And your hair looks gorgeous, by the way.” Her fingers ran through the ends of your hair, half an inch longer than when she’d last seen you, the natural curls of your azure hair a bit more noticeable.

“Thank you, Viv, and yes… It’s been a bit since we’ve met, just the three of us,” you said as she tugged you inside, closing the door behind you.

Their private dining table, made to seat four, was already set with dinner, steam rising from the roast chicken, and you could spy potatoes, carrots, and onions in the dish surrounding the bird. Kallias was busy pouring the wine, sparkling white, your favorite.

He looked up when you and Viviane approached him, a warm smile crossing his face when he saw you. “Y/N, it’s lovely to see you again dear,” he said before setting the bottle down on the table and approaching you, arms outstretched.

Even with your promise to yourself to give them space, you couldn’t help but melt into his hold, inhaling his refreshing pine and snow scent greedily.

“It’s good to see you too, Kal,” you said with a nervous smile when you pulled away. “The food looks lovely.”

Viviane smiled brightly at you before tugging you to the table, settling you into a chair before taking the one to your right, Kallias sitting to your left. He began carving the roast while Viviane dishes out the roasted vegetables and cut a fresh loaf of bread into thick slices.

Your hands rested uselessly in your lap as you watched them work, twitching every so often when it looks like they need help, but they never truly do.

And by the time the food was plated, your stomach was so twisted in knots all you could do was push food around your plate, occasionally taking a bite when you could manage.

It took maybe ten minutes for one of them to knock you out of your stupor.

“Y/N, is something wrong?” Kallias asked, concerned enough that your eyes snapped from a roast carrot to his ice blue eyes, fear in your heart that you’d been caught.

“Wha- what do you mean is something wrong?” you laughed nervously. “Nothing’s wro-”

“Don’t say that,” Viviane interrupted, a sharp look in her eye. “You’ve been avoiding us for the past year whenever you can, and don’t say you haven’t because you have.” She fixed you with a stare when you opened your mouth to deny the accusation. “And now you’ve barely eaten a thing, and you can’t even look me in the eye,” Viviane noted sadly.

“Don’t try to act like she’s not stating the facts, Y/N,” Kallias said gently, taking one of your hands into his. “We miss you, and we just want to know why. Why you’re pulling away from us.”

With both of them staring at you, their beautiful, concerned eyes watching your every move, you fell apart. You wrenched your hand from Kallias’s grasp to bury your face in both of them, wanting to hide the tears welling in your eyes, even if you knew it was useless in the long run.

You were still here, in their rooms, with few ways to escape the conversation other than fleeing the court entirely. And you weren’t willing to do that, unless you had to.

“Hey,” Viviane said softly, a delicate hand pulling yours away from your face, revealing red eyes with tears pooled in them. One fell down your cheek and Kallias’s thumb brushed it away. “Please, Y/N?”

More tears fell at her plea, and you shook your head. You wouldn’t - couldn’t tell them.

“Will you at least let us tell you the reason we invited you for dinner?” Kallias asked quietly, a hand cupping your cheek gently.

Tell you something? Probably that you’re banished from the court, your mind hissed at you.

But you needed to hear one way or the other.

So you nodded your head.

Viviane took a deep, calming breath before speaking. “I-I wanted to tell you that I love you, Y/N. And I… I’ve loved you for a long time,” she whispered.

Your heart caught in your throat - this couldn’t be real, could it?

Kallias turned your gaze from Viviane to him with a gentle hand on your chin. “I have loved you since we were younglings, Y/N, barely old enough to wander the city without guards accompanying me. I have loved you, and I wish that the mating bond would snap to include you to, I care for you so deeply. And Viv has told me the same, we just…” Kallias sighed.

“We can’t live without you, Y/N. Please, please come back to us,” Viviane pleaded as she held one of your hands tightly in hers.

You could hardly believe what you were hearing - Kallias and Viviane, your friends, your longtime crushes - they had felt the same way about you as you did them for years? A giggle left your lips at the idea, the sheer stupidity of the three of you.

The swish of Viv’s hair told you that she and Kal had made eye contact at the noise, likely exchanging concerned looks.

“Is… Is everything… Okay?” Viv asked shyly.

You giggled again. “Everything is- oh, Mother!” you laughed. “You’re telling me that we could have been happy together all this time?” You looked at the two of them, eyes bright. “Really?”

Viviane grinned at you. “Really,” she breathed.

“When you put it like that, the three of us do seem a bit foolish,” Kal chuckled before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “So? Will you have us?”

You smiled wide as you answered. “Yes!”

Immediately you were pulled from your chair as the two pushed it back, pulling you into their arms. “Oh, thank the Mother,” Kallias sighed.

It was Viviane who kissed you first, her soft, pink lips pressing gently to yours. Kallias’s followed shortly after, pressing more firmly to yours, more sure.

Tears filled your eyes for an entirely different reason.

Perhaps the Mother sent you no sign, no course of action for a reason. To be here.

The Mother knows best, after all.

🩵🩵🤍🩵🩵