#virilmisia

my mom hasn’t seen my chest post-op at all because the idea of it is so awful to her that the one time we took my bandages off with her present, she ran across the hotel room to hide from it and started crying to my brother about it (yes, with actual tears). she drove an hour and a half with us at 5:30am to my post-op just to sit in the waiting room because she refused to come in and see me after the surgeon took the bandages off. my dad has been the only one helping me with recovery things like changing bandages and monitoring healing because she still won’t look at my chest.

A classic sentiment ofc but the replies really show how much the community is blind to/ignores VERY COMMON acts of transphobia to transmascs.

“You won’t ever see trans men accused of transitioning to indulge some “sick fetish””

Gay trans men face literally face that all the damn time.

“Trans men don’t get accused of transitioning to access male spaces”

This is a joke right?

This part of the thread is op having no clue of the extremity of infantilization. Terms believing transmascs shouldn’t have their own bodily autonomy is not “empathy”, it’s viewing transmascs as less than and thus incapable of making their own decisions.

“They mourn infertile wombs and removed breast”

yeah whilst ridiculing phalloplasty and top surgery. And even if it was just mourning and no mocking, that is still just as bad. They’re mourning our infertile wombs because to them, we’re not accessible baby factories anymore, and with no breast, we’re not sexually appealing anymore. Again downplaying ensues.

Yea trans women are accused of erasing women, but here’s a shocker, SO ARE TRANS MEN, CONSTANTLY. Every time we ask to be included, we’re told to shut up. To me op is just living in their own world and refuses to step out of their echo chamber or something because this is one of the most ridiculous threads I’ve come of cross.

Viewing the oppression of trans men and trans women in this binary mindset is ridiculous. “Trans men ONLY get infantilized and trans women ONLY get demonized”

“Trans men ONLY get “empathy”, and trans women ONLY get mocked”.

You're fresh out of luck. The transmasc community have already tried transmisandry, transmisia, antimasculism, virilmisia, virilphobia and anti transmasculinity to name a few and people have found "problems" with all of them. Hell, people complain if we try to call it misogyny or just plain old transphobia. It doesn't matter what language we use, people just want us to sit down and shut up.

I might not word this the right way but if anyone gets this and wants to add to this but watching it continue after all these years make it very hard to be in the community. But yea let's talk about a few:

The amount of jokes that revolve around physically harming trans men/transmascs and then played of as "oh silly men it's only a joke because how terrible yall are".

When said jokes are brought up about how terrible / pushing the idea that trans men/transmasc = cis men in terms of privileges - responses are "jfc of course men do this" and in a way are reinforces the "gender traitor" terf rhetoric that you left behind womanhood and community for privileges.

No trans experience is the same and acting like all trans men/transmasc = just aiming to be a cis man and successfully become a cis man. Bringing up the complexities and various intersectional issues trans men/transmascs face are brushed aside (esp BIPOC issues that are brought up).

The idea that we are rewarded for being more masculine, accepted into the community. We are not. Hell this affects more than just trans men/transmascs please look into anti-butch stuff (which has been around for a looong time yall)

Echoing the phrases making assumptions that taking HRT will make you a "cis man" including all the negatives. Specifically I want to point to "T makes you violent/aggressive" and how many trans men/transmascs are scared of taking HRT not wanting to hurt people around them. And many after getting over that hurdle many have brought up that if anything it calmed them down or (and this is the very telling part) how taking T gave them the courage to stand up for themselves about the negative comments, heckling, and abuse they've gotten.

In the almost two decades i've been on social media - the word for anti-transmasculity has changed many times due to a.) someone who's not a transmen/transmasc with a platform says something about the word which is untrue and then b.) it's shamed seen as being "jfc of course its men" no matter how much it's distanced from other trans identities or how the person behind the idea made it because the other word was an "issue" hoping to fix it but are back at square one.

Lumping us (transmascs) together in your "UGH men (derogatory) #KAM" bullshit isn't as gender affirming as it is. Painting us as gender traitors and gross ugly men is not where it is. Same goes for telling us that testosterone poisons us, that we are killing lesbians for being transmasc, and anything else like that. Claiming we ALL have indisputable male privilege, no matter where we have reached in our transitions, or we haven't, don't even WANT to or CAN'T, and thus saying we are oppressors like cis men or could even hold a candle to the power cis men hold isn't being supportive. If your support begins and ends with constantly sexually talking about our bodies and NOTHING else, that isn't cool (seriously, what the fuck are you going to say to a 15 year old transmasc with this bullcrap """"support""""??). If you actively oppress and silence and discredit the voices and LIVED EXPERIENCES of transmascs for whatever reason, but mostly on the basis of us being men, you aren't a supporter/ally.

If you do everything in your power to silence and erase transmascs from the community, you cannot call yourself a trans ally. Because you aren't. You're just a transphobe who is picking on the most "appropriate" target in the trans and broader rainbow community because you KNOW you can get away with treating transmascs like shit. You KNOW if you pulled this shit with any other trans group, you'd be (rightfully) crucified on the spot. The fact so many people have gotten away with treating transmascs like shit for so long, ESPECIALLY under the guise of "protecting womanhood" or whatever bullshit excuse you have, is sickening.