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made this image with either scorn or deep love. it's up to interpretation

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This happened to me a few nights ago.
suddenly, Lux gives me everyday life problems???
If she is practiced in ancient and forbidden rites and knows dark truths of the world I want to be her friend
dark souls lore: velka, goddess of sin, and that stupid plot against the stupid gods (5k words)
*written to entertain both hardcore fans and fandom rubberneckers
i made the mistake of thinking about dark souls lore the other day after choosing to make myself mad about the remaster again, but in the worst possible way. soulsborne fans know to fear and run from anyone who starts talking about this unseen character known only through item descriptions: velka, goddess of sin. if you start talking about velka you’re too far gone in the souls sauce and about to spout some of the most unhinged nonsense ever uttered by a human on the entire history of the planet. velka and the highly secretive “plot against the gods” are quietly mentioned in less than 10 item descriptions. no character utters her name or speaks of the rebellion she participated in, she and her comrades do not appear in the game…probably. its complicated.
her inclusion initially reads as a throw-away means of world-building; much like the now infamous line about the “clone wars” in “star wars: a new hope” that was needlessly fleshed out into a trilogy that haunts us even to this day, the item descriptions serve to establish that you have entered a world overflowing with heroes and history that you were not privy to nor took part in. these events are such a basic foundation of lordran history that no one mentions it because it would be inorganic and narratively heavy-handed. its like if we walked around talking about when lincoln was shot on a day to day basis just in case anyone wasn’t up to speed.
anyway, this thought process started after i realized how fucking weird it is that a giant crow transports you from undead asylum to firelink shrine…why would it do that??? like, yes, obviously it’s a gameplay contrivance in order to get you from point A to point B with a cinematic, fantastical flair, i understand that. i also understand that velka herself is a gameplay contrivance with story written around it to soften the landing, but unfortunately, dark souls is a thread that unravels quickly when you pick at it, revealing shocking narrative cohesion underneath. if you’re completely insane, that is.
we will do this in a journalistic manner: who, what, when, where, why. but first, it requires a lot of dark souls history/lore context. it’s a lot. stick with me.
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this is so much info. this also contains gay dragon theory and somehow argues that it's supported by text. why not. please enjoy this unbelievable amount of words regarding a non-entity who does not exist meaningfully in any of the three games.
Our lady of sin... (in two color variations!)

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Happy New Years from the townsfolk of Little Pocket!
Soulstober 2024 - Day 18: Velka, Goddess Of Sin
Dark Souls AU where Velka convinces Gwyndolin to help her overthrow the system that abuses him instead of drinking the kool-aid & taking her duties from her when she's banished. Is this anything?