#vanivanvanilla

they both have a thing for giving up then coming back with more viciousness although while mapicc often accomplishes that by using force, bacon on the other hand uses his words -- which i think explains their dynamic very well: mapicc focuses on the physical (violence and actual player presence) while bacon focuses on the psychological (debate and actual worthwhile content) but despite or perhaps because of these differences they end up complimenting each other very well, not only in the sense that they cover each other's weaknesses but also in that they both care a lot about different aspects of the servers content/entertainment/activity which leads to a lot of synergy in motive and principles which then leads to a lot of synergy in goals and action whether it be opposition of or in service with each other

a really funny thing i find about their dynamic is that bacon is the person who takes the most advantage of mapiccs fandom dog-coding, from teasing him about it to just straight up ordering him like one sometimes -- my theory for why that is is cause he probably knows it comes from somewhere, both bacon and mapicc are very observant ppl and bacon in particular has observed that mapicc is a very loyal person who generally takes orders from ppl he has grown attached to and he for sure knows that mapicc has grown attached to him

that being said theres a reason theyre called losers lmao, theyre not the best at what they do and they get their asses handed to them a Lot but thats part of the charm isnt it? they get knocked down and they get back up again over and over even when they start malding over it

fall back into old habits.

as the saying goes, old habits die hard.

van needed someone to choose him. he felt alone on the server and like he was always everyone's second, or even last, choice. he felt disregarded by his own teammate.

jay needed someone who would stay. and more than that, she needed someone who was away from it all. someone who wasn't connected to every source of turmoil she felt. someone who was willing to go along with what she decided on a whim.

without even knowing, they gave that to each other.

van was a new face to jay. a curiosity, in a way. most everyone else in that trial chamber knew each other. and so jay sought out an outlier in the chaos.

"let's run away together," they said on impulse as everyone else grew distracted. maybe that was the first time jay chose van. maybe van's agreement was the start of it all.

but what matters is: time and time again, jay chose van. and time and time again, van stayed.

they were both desperate for each other without realizing it. they were both so terrified that what they had was a lie. that it wouldn't last. but i think that's exactly why it lasted.

because that fear made them cling tighter and tighter to each other. to promise certainty no matter the unknowns. to will the future to warp to meet their wishes. because no matter how uncertain they were, they wanted to be sure. they needed it.

...i think i have an Notification...