How do you think Carl coped with the guilt? Love the ship name you came up with by the way!
I didn’t come up with it! It was developed on Twitter. I absolutely adore Astrophathers so so much and kudos to the fandom for that incredible ship name
Anyway! Hitting me with the hard feelings. And boy have I thought about Carl’s guilt, so I’m glad you asked. I am always happy to talk about fleshing out Carl’s character and Astrophathers
Carl harbors so much guilt. He cared about Grace so much, for the time he knew him. Grace made such an impact on his life (and on everyone in Stratt’s Vat).
The thing I see with Carl, is that he’s constantly in a battle with himself and his morals and what he believes is right. For someone like Stratt, for example, who did genuinely have at least some fondness for Grace, she also had a very clear sense of right and wrong in her mind. She knew what she believed in and she knew the importance of saving earth and was willing to do whatever it takes to make her mission possible, including doing what was wrong.
And Carl ultimately has to listen to her. But he doesn’t share that same rigid attitude about the petrova problem and Grace being sent into space unwilling. Especially given how he was willing to humor Grace and willing to ease up around him enough to act silly and play around despite the severity of the situation. Grace truly brought the best out of him.
I like to think that his internal battle at first was primarily conflicting with how he had a job to do.. but Grace didn’t deserve that betrayal.
Stratt laid it out simply and orderly to Carl why Grace was needed long before Grace ever got his own ultimatum. Carl knew, logically speaking, Grace was the best final option they had. He believes in Grace and his capabilities, absolutely. But surely there had to be another way. Surely they didn’t need to send him.
After the launch and well after they leave the solar system I think that’s when the guilt really kicks in. Particularly because of how what happened to Grace was likely covered up. Grace, Yao and Ilyukhina ultimately are regarded as heroes but Carl knows Grace didn’t want to be there. He was there to witness how Grace ran himself into a closed end, he was so scared. He didn’t want to die. And this breaks Carl.
How I think Carl copes with this?
I feel like he removes himself entirely from any government innovation in the new chaos that follows on earth. Different threats and sustainability issues are the driving forces of innovation. But he doesn’t want to be involved anymore. Last time he did that, he was complicit to sending an unwilling innocent man to his slaughter and he has to live with that guilt. No doubt behind it that Carl had seen some messed up things at work before the sun started dimming, but this was different, this was Grace.
So he removes himself and I like to think he honors Grace in his own way.
Maybe he buys sour skittles for as long as they’re being produced. Maybe he stockpiles them and opens up a new stale and gross bag every year and stares at the candies as he remembers Grace.
Maybe he goes to San Francisco as often as he can for as long as San Francisco is the city as we know it. As long as it’s still habitable, he visits.
Grace always liked the fog. He’d always mention how the marine layer while out on the carrier reminded him of home. And how, if he squinted, he could pretend he wasn’t on a massive ship.
Grace always laughed with Carl about how he and San Francisco’s fog had a similar name. Maybe whenever it’s foggy, Carl thinks of Grace. It’s not foggy much at all anymore, given the global cooling. So whenever it is, it’s a rarity and Carl likes to think it’s Grace sending him some fog.
Maybe he moves somewhere where the fog is a little bit more common.
