Apr 16
âYouâre so fucking cute, oh god, you donât deserve this at all⌠I really should stopâ increasingly guilt-ridden while showing no intent to stop whatsoever no matter how desperately you beg for it to end
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âYouâre so fucking cute, oh god, you donât deserve this at all⌠I really should stopâ increasingly guilt-ridden while showing no intent to stop whatsoever no matter how desperately you beg for it to end
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Sadistic captor whoâs done hurting you in all the ways except for sexually and has convinced herself sex will make you feel better. So the careful, tedious wound care and comforting turns into rape. This is what you expected to happen, but then it didnât. And now it is happening, but she insists itâs not like that at all.
âThis is fine, Iâm not hurting you anymore. Youâll feel better very soon, just feel good. Shh, I wonât hurt you. I got it all out, relax. The pain will go away. Just remember this, okay? This is good, right?â
But of course you donât want to remember. Sheâs being so gentle as if this is just a natural continuation to patching you up and cautiously petting your beaten body to console you. And itâs worse like this. But she insists itâs nothing that compares to the abuse just before.
âNonono, youâre okay, no more pain. This isnât bad, this is better. Itâs just sex, Iâll make you feel good. I canât hurt you more, not too much. Iâll make it better. Maybe if I move you into a better position? I donât want to hurt you more, Iâm not hurting you.â
But of course it hurts, youâre covered in marks and blooming bruises all over. Too scared and tight to relax but too weak to resist. She canât help getting captivated by your whimpers when she brushes on your skin where itâs raw and stings. Fucking you harder like sheâs trying to distract herself, desperate to deny herself the pleasure of your pain. Thatâs not what this is about, the violence is over. Like sheâs really trying to just make it go away and needs this to make it better. But of course it wonât.
Your captor making you record a video statement of how you actually consented to all of it and that youâre alright and enjoying yourself, promising you theyâll stop hurting you if you comply and do it right. You donât really trust them, but you think thereâs a chance theyâre going to send it to your loved ones. So you put on the performance of your life in hopes of at least letting them know youâre still alive and thereâs hope. As calm and serious as you can, as many retakes as you need to do, until your captor is content. But instead of sending the video to anyone at all, they play it to you on repeat every time they rape you. Every time youâre abused you hear yourself saying youâre exactly where you want to be. And you keep telling yourself you donât really believe what youâre hearing your own voice tell you, but it doesnât take too long until you realize you nonetheless know the words by heart
I want to give up trying to push her off and just grab onto her instead because itâs too much and Iâm scared so I just have to hold onto something and then cry âplease stop, I love youâ into the crook of her neck while she whispers to me through her moans that she loves me like this
Making you kiss their palm before they hit you hard
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âItâs not your fault this is happening to youâ
âYou didnât do anything to deserve thisâ
âYou did everything right and it still didnât keep me from doing what Iâm doing to youâ
I need to be captured together with you. I want my tears mixing with your wetness while my face is being forcibly shoved into your unwilling pussy and your futile efforts to struggle against me just get me covered in you anyway. I want a hand in my hair grabbing me harder if I hesitate to do to you whatâs being asked of me, while another hand travels between my own thighs. I want to search your scared eyes with my apologetic gaze when I lose myself in my own moans and your taste. I want our abuser drawing it out until my jaw hurts and youâre all overwhelmed under me.
And when theyâre done with us for now and weâre left alone together, I want to do my best taking care of you, profusely apologizing and pleading you to let me make it up to you, to hold you and make you feel better. Iâm all you have right now and though your trust in me is shattered by how you just saw me, unable to control myself while I was being used to violate you, you need to cuddle up to me for any sense of safety and hope. And I need it to break something in me, so the next time theyâre back, I hate myself for starting to resist them a little less, giving in a little more to the permission to take advantage of your helplessness, in a way you can notice. The less certain you get about if I enjoy it or not, the more you depend on trusting me to want us to get out of this.
If you donât want my fingers in there, then why is your mouth so fucking wet?