#vampiers

Night of the Raving Dead begins In Media Res and milks it for all it's worth: Sam and Max are in a soul sucking machine, at the mercy of Jurgen, a european vampire who never wears a shirt but does gladly show off his pierced nipples. Still better than bebops. Firm 6/10.

At any rate pierced nips aren't the issue as the threat here is your old fashioned spike wall style trap I know just the man for the job but sadly he's was a bit busy with his own spiked wall issues

So instead we flash back to the start of this tale.

And to my delight our heroes continue to pile up junk in their office. Sam has now added a holy urn and is still high priest seperation of chruch and state kneels before god emperor priest president Max!

Our heroes have a bit of infestation though in their office there's something all too familiar

These are not greasy teen zombies or greasy gnomes or even the dreaded Crombie, but European Zombies! So it's up to us to talk to everyone and find out why. In an intresting reversal this time it's Bosco whose closed, while Sybil's reopened her place, because we psychologically tortured him into disappearing.

Sybil meanwhile is looking for love in all the wrong places as after her relationship with Abe Ended she's restarted her dating service.. but just for her. After the obvious sex work joke because this is the 2000's, Sybil is basically screening dates... and is currnetly screening a moleman.

But after he failed we're left with Harry Moleman. Whose back for some reason. Gotta reuse those models I guess. He has aboslutely no shot and Sybil is being just polite. He also has a choclate heart we'll need later and a fear of zombie's we'll exploit later

Moving over to Stinky's her latest special is a gooey cake/chekov's gun, while her latest item we can grab is a sunlamp bulb since even she has no idea why it's there, but the plot does. The plot sees all.

Anyway abe's also there.. .and still the worst as he blames Sybil for the breakup, is stalking her and won't shut up

Yeah I liked Abe at first.. but in a record TWO episodes he's gone from endearing into the hall

It's a shame too as I really DID like abe in season one and the first episode of this but this gag, ESPECIALLY wiith how the sybil plot concludes, really dosen't work.

Thankfully we move on to our boys the C.O.P.S. who have decided to captalize on this to sell internet to zombies, via online trial discs. For those too young to know what those are

For now though we can't get any of those future coasters, but we do found out poor bluster has some brain damage which was also funnier at the time. We do find out the source of the ZOmbies: the zombie factory in Stuttgard, Germany. And to my shock Stuttgart is a real place. I would've asked my german friend , but she needs sleep and isn't awake till midnight like moi.... am I a vampire? ... no. No I love garlic bread too much to make that sacrifice. Then again It'd also make it easier to meet Matt Berry.. dammit this is a dillema.

While I mull this over we move on to Stuttgard. I didn't ask said friend, @galaxysupernaturalstuff because again, asleep.. and because I forgot earlier. Though I probably DON'T need an actual german to tell me "yeah Stuttgart isn't a small villiage with a giant castle in the middle of it. "They thankfully don't do too many german stereotypes about the country as a whole, the only gags they do being the fairly innocent beerstein and the fact Midtown Cowboys is big there. It's done more in a tounge in cheek way than anything genuinely offensive.

Turns out the Zombie Factory is both your standard spooky hammer horror style monster castle.. and a club, and to get in we need to get past the bouncer, good old superball.

Yeah like the Bosco scremaing thing this is a runner nad a truly great one. Also unlike that one it's both nonseical and you can't get punched for it. He's working for Jurgen, our big bad, because his doors are rich fine mahogany.. and he needs SOMETHING to do after the divorce. He was married. I'd.. genuinely forgot that.

To get past him we once again have to do something that's likely to get me sent to hell for playing this game: take a brain from a fresh corpse

Then we throw it to a gargoyle which suprisingly ISN'T alive, nor voiced by keith david despite it being night, allowing us to cut the line.

It's inside we get a ZOMBIE DISCO BITCHES. We meet our arc villian and the mastermind behind this half baked scheme, Jurgen. Jurgern.. is a deliglight: he's basically every 20 something trying to seem cool by clubing distilled into a vampire and given a german accent and nipple rings. And he is glorious. The fact his plan is just "Conquer teh world with zombies" jah helps. our heroes just try to go for the head.. but Jurgen can teleport so we need to take the source of his powers: his...

And it's fun too as each one is simply hitting him with his vampire weakensses.. and the how, as usual is fun and redicuous. That being said actually solving these puzzles.. is a lot. I ended up hitting a dead end: I figured given the tropes at play that the key was to trigger some type of hidden entrance to get up to the balcony to replace the bulbs in the spotlight with the sunlamp. And it is.. btu the how is INCREDIBLY overcomplicated. While the writing couldn't be stronger this chapter and where your supposed to go MOSTLY straight foward, the actual puzzles are often overcomplicated. The ones in the Zombie Factory itself rely HEAVILY on a dj soundboard , which you have to put the right words from one of jurgen's poems into, without it being clear which words in the poem are a clue. Also solving the spotlight DOSEN'T fix the problem and you still have two other things to do to him, only one of which is pretty easy to figure out since after Jurgen mentions he's a huge midtown cowboys fangboy, a new area unlocked announcment shows up. As it did with the COPS when this castle unlocked. Both a great gag and a nice bit of gameplay magic to make this easier.

So yeah.. I used a guide for most of this. This is one of the trickier ones gameplay wise and if you don't adventure game often or have a lot of patience

It can be maddening. There's also another "pick a random dialouge option fo ra song" puzzle like last season, which just.. isn't fun. Picking various options is only funny if there's multiple jokes, like the cooking without looking segment from last game. Basically asking "PICK RANDOM DIALOUGE FOR US FEASANT" isn't fun it's just keeping me from having fun with the part of the game I actually like.

So with that we an shine a little sunlight on Jurgen's life, causing him to freak out and loose a little respect of his fanbase. Like any influencer in embyro, just one stab to his rep isn't going to do it but it's a start. Next it's time to return to Midtown Cowboys! Their probably hiding a cow. Midtown Cowboys have been saved from cancelation baby! See back then Networks actually.. payed attention to things like audience numbers or dvd and digital sales instead of guarding the numbers like a cave troll so they can cancel whatever they want whenever they want. Gee I wonder why the actor's strike has taken 105 days with that kind of job security.

As it turns out Midtown Cowboys is HUGE in germany, with WARP having converted to just shooting Midtown Cowboys and spinoffs. Hey at least they beat Disney+ to the punch with that model. Turns out the statoin lady's been TRYING to get our heroes back in they've just been busy and such.. and max also deleted her messages because he be like that.

We also reunite with my boy Mr. Featherly, who legally changed his name from Philo Pennyworth. While he DID go back to theater even he can't resist the siren call of "buy your own private island fortress" money. Max naturally signed away those rights without thinking. They lost 4 executives that day..so you know it's not all bad.

We can still use the broadcast to our advntage though, stashing some garlic cigarettes from outside the castle in Featherly's bag as a prop. What follows.. is comedy gold. While we sadly don't get a cookin without lookin sequel, I wanted to use baboon hearts, what we do get is just as funny as we get a very special episode, the kind sitcoms used to do to tackle the heavy issues instead of just weaving them in if it fits the tone.

The cowboys hold an interviention for mr. featherly, who finds out they were indeed hiding a cow but he has his own cow.. a smoking addiction. Even Bessie is disapointed. It then quickly turns into an add for smoking and why it's totally rad and you should all do it as their sponsor.. is garlic clove cigarettes. It's so fucked and I love it. IT's a simple idea i'm genuinely suprised I haven't seen elsewhere and genius.

So with that we just have one last thing to destroy this man's career: we need a man of the faith to bless some water bottles we got at the club. But since Shelby isn't around, we'll have to make do with max, dunking the water bottles in his sacred urn while he gives us the sacred rites

The problem is as seen with the cigs, while Jurgen is many things, a hipster, a scene kid, a goth, a tool, a vampire, a mild german sterotype, a dracula, an emo, a direct to video sequel to Dracula 2000, a nipple piercing sorta guy, european, german, big dicked, bad at poetry, a plagarist, a mad scientest, an outer god... he is not dumb enough to let people carry in his weaknesses. Dumb enough to keep some of them in his private lab as we'll see, but still not dumb enough to let vampire hunters right in.

So to get it past we have to have max drink the holy water. You'd think this would mean max would get set on fire, another vampire weakness but it just give shim a halo. I guess his own religion can't cast him into the firey depths.

It's a once again limited time thing.. though I don't get WHY in this case. I get having it wear off to show it has to be used IN the castle.. but why does it wear off on the dance floor.

Anyways to beat jurgen we have to out out emo him with lyrics about darkness, no parents, continued darkness, and of course

We DO basically win, but normally jurgen would copy us. I know because I did this puzzle before knowing the solution. He drinks max. Thankfully his drinking Holy Water makes him need to go potty. You know if I had a nickle for every time we had to defeat one of our foes by making him need to go to the bathroom i'd have three nickels.. which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened thrice.

So we follow Jurgen to his lair but given we've only done three puzzle's we're not done yet, two act structure and all as SAM AND MAX ENGAGE IN THE MOST THRILLING BATTLE OF THEIR CAREERS... bringing them to the trap.. which thanks to Sam being busy recapping, works and swallows our heroes souls. Jurgen goes.. somewhere, leaving us in his study. We find some useful junk, including a stake, and a monster.

This is Jurgen's Monster, who like his master I dearly love, a poetic beast whose mad you brought him to life as he's so lonely. Can relate dude, can, relate.

Helping him win a date with Sybil is our main quest from her eon out as she has a soul mater, a weird horrifying eldrich device she dosen't know how to use, so her finding her soul mate means we can have it. Which is good because Sam and Max's souls don't want to go back after how their bodies have misused them, waiting to go to the next life. To put a stop to our souls going to hell a few chapters early we need that soul mater.

What follows is a LOT of stuff since we don't have just 7 days to make jurgen a mannnnnnnnnnnn. We can't get him pink and quite clean but we CAN get him a brain via our old friend Flint Paper and the Zombie of Abe LIncon. Yeah turns out Abe was buried in Stuttgart and thus we meet the real abe whose loyal to his dead wife and actually likeable. Sadly he's brutalyl murdered because Flint Paper is on the warpath. He wants to kill us because "THey'd rather be dead than undead!" Sam and Max don't remember making him promise that and thus use another hidden passage to knock him out and get the brain.

Next we need a proper hand. Thankfully the zombie from the intro stole jessie james hand, which is now alive and holding up girl stinky. To get it we need to trick it and this puzzle is clever: the hand hops every time it shoots. So we simply have to make it get all the way to girl stinky, then put his attention her so it goes the other way.. straight into the goey cake. We got our HANNNDDD BACCCKKKK.

We now need to give him some heart. This one's a tad overcomplicated, even by this chapter's standards: first we need to play the cops game for this chapter, distrubing internet demo disks paperboy style. This game is tricky, but unlike the difficulty in this chapter, it's a fair kind once you figure it out. You have to move your car to be in the right position to hit the zombies with a disk. It's still hard, but it's the fun kind of hard

With that we have a big anetna we can bolt cutter off the car and use to power up Jurgen's alchemy machine.

To get our final body part though we need to play the dating game against featherly and harry moleman

Harry is just hopeless and Featherly is pretentious: LIncoln's brain is the only thing Sybil liked about him, and the hand has jurgen spell out I love sybil. Awwwwww. We just need a heart of gold as the ones we have are a clock and plants that make us into mr. van dresen. I mean .. you'd think playing a good rendention of lesbian segull would woo her but I guess it's not her thing.

No we need a heart. Luckily Harry takes his time answering a question and has a choclate heart, and even more luckily this time ruining his life dosen't feel bad as he's tried to murder us, sybil and really had ZERO chance before shouting at us.

With that we can be in it to win it, using the science and the alchemy to give us a gold heart and winning Sybils. Unfourtnatley the game then makes a pretty bleh error in judgment, as Sybil realizes she still wants abe and.. runs off to apologize to the bastard

Yeah this joke is all kinds of messed up. I get her going back IS the joke, that he's bad for her.. but it just comes off stupid, and mildly sexist as it feeds into the old "oh women like jerks" sterotypes instead of "abusive relationships happen". I mean it's a lot to ask sam and max to be realistic, so i'm fine with that but it's not a lot to ask them to actually be funny if their going to do something this annoying.

So on that sour note the climax. We get our souls back and fight jurgen, who has a plan.. of.. some sort. Anyways we can't stake him because we're too slow, so we toss the soul mater to jurgen's monster pull the lever kronk and swap bodies, using his to finally put this chapter to it's eternal rest... but not before flint comes in and tragically jurgen's monster dies.

I'm.. still not over it but i've been asured he returns somehow. And there's no time to punch flint for this as it turns out the reason he dived in guns a blazing to see us earlier is that he needs our help: bosco isn't just missing... he's NOWHERE ON EARTH

Night of the Raving dead is one of my faviorite chapters writing wise, with lots of clever jokes, an all timer villian and tons of my faviorite characters.. and abe. The abe stuff drags it down slightly, but everything else is so good this is easily my second faviorite chapter of the games thus far behind Save the World's The Mafia, the Mole and the Meatball.

It still suffers from some of this games overarching issues: the puzzles are more obtuse, the writing can be a bit mean spirited, and I don't have a third thing. Beyond Time and Space thus far isn't BAD, and has legs up on it's predecessor with gorgeous environments, but it still feels a bit of a step back from the previous one. It's got a bigger budget.. but it's just not as fun as the later chapters of save the world. It's not a bad game, the writing is as sharp as ever and most of your terrible actions are too over the top to not be funny, but it dosen't have quite the charm the first one did.

Next Time: I .. genuinely dont' know. The descrption for this one is more vauge. the only thing I know for sure is we'll finally meet THEM