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valzhang hc: leo would ragebait frank and fuck with him in a real specific way. like, they’re having dinner with grandma zhang, right? and leo will ask, “frank, baby, am i allowed to get seconds after this? i know you said you don’t like it when i gain weight.”
HAHAHAHA frank would stare at him MORTIFIED and grandma zhang would eye him coolly until frank bursts out, “grandma i don't do that!”
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and omg i can’t get over the idea of leo being the type to randomly pull out a gun if he’s losing a fight. it’s in a holster and it’s hidden so you don’t really notice he has it but it’s very easy to pull out too. BONUS if he made it. so if fighting with his fire won’t work, and he’s losing? he pull out that gun and start shooting.
mf is literally
OMG ANOTHER VALZHANG IDEA. i love the idea of frank teaching leo how to fight. but literally just imagine frank tries to train leo like one of the new recruits, but leo will lose to even the most inexperienced fighter.
after leo ends up on his stomach for the third time in the row, sweating and hair a mess and barely able to stand—frank walks over to him. but he makes no move to help leo up. he just says; “stand up.” and leo shakes his head and frank repeats himself, “if you shake your head, you can move. stand. up.”
eventually, leo winces but he manages to stand up. and frank says, “why do you keep trying to meet your opponents where they are, huh? like you’re on their level.” he doesn’t mean to be harsh, but he’s pretty sure leo needs harsh right now. so frank puts on his best praetor voice and says, “i don’t know if you noticed but you’re five foot three and one hundred and thirty pounds soaking wet. in a brawl with someone twice your height and size, you are ALWAYS going to lose. you need to accept that fact if you’re going to fight on someone else’s terms.”
he can see leo’s fists bawling up. good. he needs that anger of being weaker. it’s a good driving point. leo turns to him and says, “so what do i do then?” and frank shrugs and says, “change the terms. improvise. adapt. cheat. fight dirty. lean into what makes YOU strong, not the other way around. i thought you didn’t want to be that scared little boy anymore.”
THAT strikes a nerve. frank continues, “you wanna win? fight like you’re from camp half-blood.”
i love this idea so much. frank knows what it means to be the underdog, in a vastly different way than leo does, but fuck if he'll do anything to make him stop feeling that way.
leo: okay, here are the ground rules! you can punch me, kick me and pull my hair. i’m 50/50 on being stabbed, context matters. biting and scratching are definitely on the table! AND you can use fire!
frank, slightly horrified: these are the ground rules?? is there anything off limits?
leo: *now very excited* …damn, man. you got something sick you wanna do to me, huh? oh, i knew you were a fucking sadist! okay, don’t tell me! surprise me!
THE B99 REFERENCE !!
Valzhang
Author Frank x Musician Leo
Leo writes songs based on Frank's books
Frank writes books based on Leo's songs
They both hate each other because they think the other's more talented than them
their fandoms hate each other too
(because they keep fighting on social media)
ft. Tired Jason TM (Leo's best friend & Frank's agent)
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ANOTHER VALZHANG AU IDEA. hear me tf out.
immortal frank who’s cursed to drop dead if he meets the same person twice & moral leo who is determined to find him again
I NEED FOUR BOOKS OF THIS KINGSLEY
I think that Leo and Frank would go to a shit ton of dates and not realise those are romantic dates, pine stupidly after each other and be idiots until Hazel forces them to communicate. Meanwhile, both camps think they're dating and planning their wedding already.
Guys I finished the amnesia frank au I need to be shot
