"WHAT do you think you're wearing?"

and there will be this heartbreaking moment where the character is so startled and scared and maybe betrayed, and we as an audience feel it in our guts because we know all the ways this could go wrong and there's just this terrible sinking moment before it's followed up with something along the lines of,

"you should KNOW those shoes don't go with that skirt!" or "white after labor day? how could you" or "you'd look better in a blue, let me see if i have something"

and we, as an audience, are supposed to feel this overwhelming relief that the main character isn't being berated or harassed or assaulted.

i don't know about you, but i never feel relieved. i feel played. because at this point it just feels like a cheap trick for laughs: "did you see how scared they were? as if aunt becky could ever be homophobic! haha, their learned and compulsory fear of being rejected is so hilarious, right?"

not to mention, now you've got this character who's just been taunted with the threat of rejection having their lack of knowledge/skill in how they wish to present themselves shoved in their face. which is just mean, whichever way you spin it.

i used to read smut as a minor, you used to read smut as a minor, your fav authors used to read smut as minors, and minors still read smut today. there is no way we can prevent or change this.

but you know what i DIDN'T do when reading smut as a minor? interact with it or the authors. i kept to myself, got my fill, and then stayed away. it really wasn't hard.

whether or not minors should read smut at all is debatable. on the one hand, it can be a fun and safe way to explore your sexuality through fantasy, rather than going out there and catching STIs and getting pregnant. on the other, the smut fanfic corner of the internet is vast and largely unmoderated; it is likely you will stumble upon topics/kinks/stories that can be traumatic or harmful to some individuals. reading about fictional sex and intimacy may also create unrealistic expectations about real-life sex and intimacy.

but regardless of the moral/ethical intricacies of minors reading smut, the fact remains that teens are very often horny, and once a horny teen sets their mind to reading smutty fic about their favorite characters, there's nothing we can do to stop them.

then, what can we do? well, a few things:

- we can maintain our boundaries and continue to block minors and ageless blogs that follow us

- we can continue to impress upon minors who stumble upon our blogs the importance of respecting those boundaries

- we can continue to tag our smutty fanfic thoroughly and appropriately, so people can avoid things that they know will be harmful for them to read

- we can continue having discussions about fantasy vs reality, and what is and is not healthy in a real-life sexual or intimate scenario/relationship

in my opinion, shaming minors for reading smut altogether only does more harm than good - the more a kid is shamed for their sexuality, the more they try to hide it and the more likely they are to engage in risky sex. that doesn't mean we shouldn't shame them for not respecting a DNI boundary.

i love my friends so much. they are the best and i see them so much and my heart has rarely been fuller

i love my job - got a new manager who is an ANGEL ON EARTH, he's teaching me so much and actually respects what i say and listens with intention

had a picnic and went swimming with my bestie today!!

going on vacation in a couple weeks, can't wait to be tan + happy

i made a really good stirfry the other day w beef and portobello mushrooms and bell peppers and onion and garlic and sprouts it was SO GOOD

went to the ren faire last month!!!! SO fun and got dressed up w friends

bought a car, i love her, her name is stella

money no longer scares me lmao

still seeing that guy from the spring, although he's away for the summer so that's a bummer, but i really like him and he's a cutie and he makes my heart go pitter patter<3

the autobody shop was booking out, and I, being only freshly diagnosed with ADHD and utterly depleted of executive function, neglected to schedule repairs until December, at which point they were booking out until late March. March 24, to be exact. Today.

and so I take my car in this morning to the body shop, give them the keys and the insurance check, signed paperwork, and was picked up by the rental car guys and driven to their office. Where I am informed: “oh, we never received payment from the insurance company, so we can’t give you a car until we do.” Great! Great.

I call my insurance and talk to the answering robot, forget my PIN, call back, put in the wrong PIN, hang up, call my mom to look in my old notebook for the info I wrote down a year ago. Call insurance again. Enter the correct PIN!!! Get transferred FIVE!!!! TIMES!!!!!! until I reach my claims adjuster: “we don’t pay up front, can you put me on speakerphone with the rental guy?”

Rental guy has stepped out of the office. He’s the only one there. Sit on the phone w claims adjuster in silence for 5 full minutes until rental guy gets back. they figure it out on the phone in about 30 seconds.

despite theoretically being covered, rental still costs me $300 out of pocket.